The love between Roland and Sansa is pretty cheesy and rushed. Wish there was more character development instead of the “love at first sight” bullshit. Oh well, I’ve run out of things to read so I’ll continue

Really you gave an oc dawn

A bunch of small typos (explain v explane) but super duper great plot

Your version of Cersei is one of my favorites. Too often in these true born son of Robert stories Cersei hates them for being Robert's. That is completely out of character, of one thing is true of Cersei it's how much she loves her children. Great story overall, hope to see it finished.

I thought Roland was born to wield a sword, yet he can't defeat 2 shitty knights without almost dying. You got your priorities all wrong.

Great story so far, I love your OC character, please don't abandon the story

Mixed feeling about this story. 1:38 AM in my country and I've just finished it. it's too long and has loads of chapters with irrelevant shit

-The triangular castle thrust out of the red fork like a stony fist. Yet Roland found it unimpressive. 'To many it seems strong,' Roland thought. 'But it's really a death trap.'-

Then you're a fool my guy. Riverrun is an amazing castle and one of the strongest in Westeros. It's status as an island castle means any besieging army needs to be split up into factions that can't reinforce each other in order to surround it on multiple sides.

Riverrun can endure siege indefinitely as long as it has external allies. All you have to do is wait for one of your friends to rally an army to smash up one of the mini enemy armies for a bit and send across some rowboats with provisions.

A one hour skirmish could provide Riverrun with a month's worth of supplies, and that's not even accounting for the fact that it's super easy to smuggle food in via the River gates at night. On top of that, the defenders can rely on fish from the river itself to supplement.

This chapter is in dire need of spelling, grammar, and punctuation checking. If you’ve got Microsoft Word, I’d recommend exporting the chapter and running it through spellcheck. That should fix most of the issues and leave you with a much more polished chapter.

I like the story, though when there’s a lot of minor errors it breaks immersion.

A loss is a loss, in any case Roland's exhaustion only suggests the fight would have lasted longer not that he would have won outright. The only 'skilled' warrior he faced at Blackwater before Garlan seems to be Lothar Brune. Though do you truly expect less from someone trained by Barristan the Bold?

see? That was a good chapter. Arya, the slowly changing Joffrey (that's what I call character development), as well as the chapters with the Greyjoys. Even young Sand from Dorne is a great character. Roland is the only problem with your story.

To the guest below. In fact, this is completely irrelevant. The whole chapter on the battle at Black Water is clearly constructed to show the reader that Roland was extremely exhausted, while Garlan was fresh. 'Roland had been fighting all day clashed with a number of skilled warriors and was already exhausted. Garlan was still fresh and that was probably his biggest advantage.' This just fits back into the Gary Stue picture. Even the best can defeat him only by luck and good circumstances. Roland the Great would win any fight at eye level.

Translated with Translator (free version)

To the guest below. He DID lose a duel you idiot. At Blackwater Roland was getting his ass handed to him by Garlan Tyrell and even lost an eye.

sorry, but while the story is well written, we've reached a point where you just have to admit that Roland is a Gary Stue. He has no faults so far, is great at everything he tries, everyone respects him, admires him and speaks highly of him. Even Black Water he did not lose, because the defeat was part of his super plan. The story itself is good, but Roland is annoying. We would all be better off without this over powered turd. Unfortunately, that can't be changed anymore. Could only a few of Roland's plans have occurred to others? The trick defeat at Black Water could have been Stannis plan for example. Or Roland could have lost a duel for once, but NO, perfect Gary Stue is super intelligent, strategically and tactically a genius, the best rider and fencer and everything on top.
Well, at least it's interesting to read how a good story is ruined by the main character.

for5ced - forced

Good chaptet