|Reviews for The Closing|
| Tara chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
It's an interesting concept and nicely written but a lot of the impact is lost in the fact that you aged up Logan and Kate. The 'everybody hooks up' plotline is far too cliche and not really an appropriate reason for messing with the mythology so much when it's already so ingrained in our brains. The same storyline could have been served quite easily through portraying a relationship between Victoria and Noah or Reese (depending how far ahead this is set)
Aging up 6-8 year olds simply so every character has somebody to date just seems forced, awkward and inappropriate. An overall shame really since you have a real talent for world building and characterisation.
Tori vs Sean was a prime example of how well you can pinpoint the complexities of the characters-Tori's tempermental, high strung and overall irreverent nature played very well against Sean's more laid back nature. That you managed to portray that through a phone call is really skillful.
You honestly dont need to rely on smoke and mirrors. The tricks and cliches are really beyond your talent level and I think you could really create something excellent without them.
| Bug chapter 6 . 7/24/2015
Hello? What hole did you fall into? It's been like a year since you last wrote. And leaving us on a clif hanger? Seriously? Please write more?
| IraTamashi99AmyliaZanpakuto chapter 1 . 11/8/2014
It's good so far, but it's hard to read because the paragraphs are so bunched together, I keep getting lost because you have so many lines in one, everything else, seems okay to me
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/7/2014
Love the story! I can't wait to read more please keep up the great work!
| BriEva chapter 1 . 5/6/2014
I loved how this story started.
But I couldn't stay in it.
Because you changed Kate and Logan's age to fit the teens. Their supposed to be like 6, and as a huge fan of Kelley's books I just was so upset when that happened. (
| Vera Kate chapter 6 . 5/2/2014
I think the formatting is still a bit off? There are several jumbo paragraphs that should be smaller ones and there aren't any lines of just space to make things easier to read.
As for the actual review - so we get to see Derek's side! I ... yikes. Malcolm does sound like he could use the help of a decorator or two.
So the question is - how did he know about Derek? Who is feeding him information about the Pack since he knows about the wedding? And is he actually going to bring Chloe back or will she have to track them down?
| Vera Kate chapter 5 . 3/25/2014
I'd like to see Chloe go on the war path!
Poor thing. She went into the study ... and they're discussing flowers? Yikes.
So the real question is - how legitimate is her offer?
| Vera Kate chapter 4 . 2/23/2014
This is shaping up to be very ... dangerous, very fast. Malcolm doesn't play around. He is going to mess with Derek's head and ... it is not going to be good.
Sorry for not reviewing earlier! I didn't see that it had been updated since the last chapter.
| Vera Kate chapter 3 . 12/29/2013
It's good to see a DP/WotO crossover! This is intriguing. :)
| suzi1811 chapter 3 . 12/8/2013
Well so far he's survived Logan (for now) hope he fares as well with Clay! I'm glad they seem to be accepting Derek more!
| suzi1811 chapter 2 . 12/3/2013
I enjoyed this, still not sure the kids would act that way (Well I can totally see Kate tantruming :-) Lol) just Alpha's word is law so not sure about attacking but then again Derek arrived early and was in wolf form on the property which would at least put them on edge. I can see something maybe starting up between Simon and Kate there! Oh god if he goes for Kate he is brave! Good god I would not want to face a father like Clay if I were Simon! I love how you've made it that Kate did change! I hope she does when Kelley tackles it too! Her and Logan are so tight it'd be cruel if he could and she couldn't! Update soon!
| Lupa94 chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
This looks really good , please update soon :)
| Sammi chapter 1 . 11/25/2013
I love! Your the only author who's ever guessed the same as me- that Derek would react with a change. Please post more!
| suzi1811 chapter 1 . 11/24/2013
Loved it so far! Don't understand why they're attacking though when they know Derek and the others were coming and Sean would undoubtedly have told them Derek wasn't in control of his changes yet due to having never known other werewolves aside from the boys that were killed when they were 5. I love how he insisted on Chloe coming and how Simon and Tori managed to force their way on the trip too! Three blondes so I'm guessing Clay, Elena and Reece are the welcoming committee as Kate and Logan probably wouldn't be old enough to change yet! Update soon!