|Reviews for Percabeth in Goode|
| E chapter 18 . 8/20
Come on more please
| AlwaysWithBook chapter 18 . 8/10
Great Chapter! Nah, I think that Demi God Shelter is a good name! For your next chapter (well, if you haven't already planned and typed it) you should first introduce the gang to the mortals at school. And then, I think you should add some drama! These recent chapters, Annabeth was starting to notice Mary being a little. . .jealous, perhaps? :0 Some nice juicy drama! Or, a monster attack, revealing the demigod's secret to their mortal friends. But I still love the idea of a catfight between Mary and Annabeth. Actually, wait. I think Mary's character is a bit too sweet for that. And Annabeth's. Maybe some warning words or even just some actions toward Percy that makes Annabeth just hiss in anger. Also, in the beginning, when the group is all getting together, I think that the word 'screamed' is a bit overused and out of place. So, picture in your mind, that a group of your friends are meeting for the first time in a while. Granted, this specific group of demigods are a bit, hmmm, crazier (:P) than the average group of friends. When you finally get to touching distance, you wouldn't necessarily have to scream to someone while in a group hug. Although, some group hugs can get a little wild! Most people would wait until everyone separates to talk. Now, most fanfictions I read, I notice that many authors elaborate WAY too much. A minimal amount of description should be used to give the reader a general view, but I think you should use some room for imagination. Normally, (and I'm speaking from what I usually do), readers might skim over a paragraph they think is too long. Instead of piling everything into one paragraph, separate it into several, or even multiple chapters! Often concerning the layout of a house (or apartment in this case), certain rooms might not be mentioned in on chapter. So in your sentences concerning the big apartment three doors down from Percy's, you might not need to mention that, say, Travis's room is next to the kitchen. It might not be until Chapter 20 that he gets a midnight snack. No need to do it all at once! I hope I've helped a little! I think that because I fail at writing stuff myself, I am more skilled at constructive criticism. I'm not here to find everything I have a problem with and fix it, but suggest ideas and give advice on word use, structure, and grammar. Update soon!
(I think that this is the longest review I've ever written! :P)
| S chapter 7 . 7/9
Sorry for the flames but do you not know how th spell litterly really do u not have spell check are u from an nother country
| percabeth4ever chapter 5 . 7/6
It's still not strolls
| helenoftroy chapter 17 . 5/30
What about Hazel, Frank, and Reyna. Oh and what will Leo do without Calypso!
| Titophilip chapter 1 . 4/26
how tf cant Percy not know what(who) a headmaster is? He's not that dumb pls...Annabeth was ooc in the first chapter...she won't quit school for anything...especially when she's the one at fault...just started readng...hopefully twill be a good story...
| PiperMclean360 chapter 18 . 4/26
p.s. why didn't you put in Piper?! :'(
| Livkate101 chapter 16 . 4/12
Hey! Great story...
You should make them all go to the beach and have splash fights, double decker fights (girl sits on boy's shoulders and tries to push the other team over), sand castle comp. etc...
They should go to a cinema or something and start screaming during a movie...
Sorry for being rude! :)
| Guest chapter 17 . 4/7
why wont you write another chapter
| Guest chapter 7 . 3/29
Thalila? Really? Sorry, I get kind of OCD around this stuff, but I usually stay quiet. But still, This story is amazing!
| Guest chapter 17 . 3/28
Pls update if ur going to or end the story
| MadelineTheFangirl chapter 17 . 3/5
Maybe they all have the same classes with each other and after a week they find out who sam is. Maybe the gods can find out too and then they have to stop a war. Just an idea! Please update!
| Amanda Korn chapter 17 . 1/26
seriously, did u have a teacher named mr. rodriguez?
| Amanda Korn chapter 5 . 1/26
Just wondering, did you go to sycamore junior high? I have a teacher named Daniel Rodriguez, so... but I luv the story
| Pj'stwinsis chapter 7 . 1/19
I love the story, but I really dislike Thalico. Is there any chance you can take it out of the story? Thx!