|Reviews for Riddle And The Ancient Contract|
| Guest chapter 33 . 7/17
Everyone in this fix should just die. Napalm these fucking people. In fact, the author is a cunt. A hypocritical apologist who needs to go fuck herself right off a roof.
| wiri3nd chapter 55 . 7/12
Great story. Keep up the good work!
| Wizardette chapter 1 . 6/28
Hi, not sure if you already know, but there's a story on Wattpad that's exactly the same as yours, but has Azalea instead of Harika. The user said that it wasn't their book, but I just wanted to notify you since they weren't clear if they had your permission or not.
| DebaterMax chapter 28 . 6/28
Macmillan was an odd choice. Also wtf did Filch do?
| Ctrip chapter 47 . 6/11
She already killed the Carrows right admirer she found out she was pregnant…
| Mari Wollsch chapter 55 . 6/1
| Zavod chapter 55 . 5/24
So fanfic cliches aside, the author wrote a fun story for the first half. I enjoyed it. (Thank you!)
The second half...
The story needed a goal, or an antagonist. Something to aim for. Entire pages listing classes we'll never see with professors we'll never care about, isn't... interesting. Detailed description of mundane life events which don't advance the plot don't make for a good story.
So, to offer constructive words... I would suggest tightening up the second half, and giving the characters something to strive for. Give three readers something to look forward to.
To be specific...
Luna's dangerous prediction could have been left out, because it's a great idea for a story, but didn't affect this one meaningfully.
It's tough to challenge our protagonists to a fight, so give them problems they cannot solve immediately, such as political, say.
There was a lot of mention of how Hogwarts was going to change with the arrival of vampires or werewolves, but then it was kind of hand waved. That's a great story idea itself, but just introduced here.
So my big (story changing) suggestion would be: End the story after (big event) by wrapping it up with some summary chapters. Then, take your good ideas about what will happen with Hogwarts and you've got a whole new story. But start it fresh with a new antagonist.
Anyway, thanks for the story! Keep it up!
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/21
This story has a nice premise, rather interesting concept as well. The execution is just not up to par.
There isn't really one thing in particular that's so bad that this isn't readable, it's rather many small things, like Tom and Harry always thinking "I thought this marriage would be different, but it's surprisingly going good" multiple times in the early chapters, or how all the characters are way too emotive, you don't always react in the extreme, like all the characters here do.
| Bele chapter 55 . 5/18
| Cosmyk Angel chapter 55 . 5/17
I am disappointed we didn't get to hear anything about Gasper's sibling. Where is the Potter heir? It was a required part of the marriage contract.
| Jaye chapter 55 . 5/12
This fanfic was AMAZING! I have to give it to you...you out did yourself. This is 1 of the best HP fanfics I’ve read so far and I’ve read at least 30. The only criticism I have is that the sex scenes could’ve been more creative but the were still good. I was glad you added the rimming scene... I was like “yasss we all have a lil pervert in us” lol. I am deeply saddened that more fanfics don’t add that sexual act to their stories smh. Anyways, PROPS!
| Guest chapter 29 . 5/8
" Voldemort was rampaging did I allow children to be cursed or assaulted. Some died, yes but I didn't even torture you! It's unacceptable."
| Yugi the Godfather of Games chapter 49 . 5/5
Did u happen to read the Harry/Hermione story In This World And the Next & borrow some of the ideas about different field trips in the Muggle & Wizarding Worlds along w the possible joke of Harry taking a class trip down to the mermaid village w Gillyweed & getting inheritance tests done & payed for at Gringotts instead of setting up new vaults like the Harry did In This World
| DalkonCledwin chapter 41 . 4/24
Why in the world is Hari’s Daily Prophet article SHOUTING at us?
| DalkonCledwin chapter 37 . 4/24
The name of the Grecian goddess of magic would be pronounced as [Hek-AH-tay] in modern English. It has only one place where the English (Latin) letter “T” could fit, and you wound up with two.