|Reviews for Cradle of the Uchiha Clan|
| Spidey2 chapter 4 . 10/26
Love it! Keep going!
| Archleone chapter 4 . 10/13
This story was interesting. Certainly more so than a Percy Jackson crossover. Why did you abandon it? It's been well over a year since your last update for this story.
You should consider picking it back up. Things were just getting interesting now that Naruto began to use his Sharingan.
I figure you having Mizuki date Naruto's "sister" was done to put him in position for Mizuki to find out about the Sharingan and tell Orochimaru about it. I can't say I like it, because that's a pretty big cliche in Naruto fan fiction. Naruto (or someone else important) gets this fancy new power that needs to remain secret, and almost immediately Orochimaru, Danzo, Iwa, Akatsuki, the old lady down the road, etc. learn of it.
It's not a particularly smooth way of building conflict, when there's so many other options available besides the enemy finding out about those secret things that are so secret everyone finds out. I prefer the idea that the hero of the story will naturally find himself in conflict with a particular villain /eventually/ because he is the hero and the villain is a villain. There doesn't need to be contrived situations where the villain is prematurely thrown at the hero as soon as possible.
In Naruto fan fiction in particular, this kind of thing is often done because people are too timid to break away from canon events, and so keep things as similar to the original plotline while maybe changing many of the details.
An example based on this story would be: In canon, Orochimaru attacks Konoha during Naruto's first Chunin Exam because he wants to get his hands on Sasuke's Sharingan, and also attempt to destroy the village. It seems more likely that the former was the true motivation behind the attack, since all of his plans bent around Sasuke (See: not starting the invasion until getting to see Sasuke fight Gaara a bit). In this story, I imagine that you might have planned to have Orochimaru find out about the Sharingan through Mizuki, and plan an attack to get at Naruto for his eyes.
Different target, same plan, canon plot structure remains mostly intact.
A more interesting way to do it would be to have most people remain clueless about Naruto's eyes- maybe even Naruto, beyond using his ability to see chakra and memorize things to supplement his studies and help him in some situations where that kind of thing would be useful- and for the Chunin Exam to go off mostly without a hitch, and for some interesting event to happen afterwards.
Say, Naruto goes on a mission where he uses the Sharingan in combat and spooks a witness, or one of his enemies survive the fight. Word could spread about a blond ninja with scary eyes who works for Konoha. No one needs to specifically figure out it's the same kind of eyes as Madara until much later in the story, because it seems to me that immediately jumping to the conclusion of "Sharingan! That legendary eye only that one guy had!" from a vague description of "red eyes" is pretty silly and unrealistic.
After all, despite how the show/manga went, it makes more sense for the plot to have picked up momentum after Naruto and his team got promoted and were allowed to take more interesting missions with their higher rank. Instead, Kishimoto relied on have super-powered jerks with an unhealthy obsession over certain specific children to move the plot along.
Conflict can be built on Naruto himself being a scary ninja because he's studious and talented, like it was for his father, rather than being based on the fact that Naruto has a similar genetic quirk to some guy was infamous and scary. Let Naruto's skills and actions speak for themselves rather than everyone basing their expectations based on Madara/the reputation of the Sharingan.
Anime really seems to have that problem a lot. Protagonist basically just become "hey, you're basically just like that one legendary guy!" rather than "You're becoming a legend on your own merit!"
Anyway, good luck with your writing and update this story! :O
| Naruto Gremory chapter 4 . 10/10
I love the story of a man! I'm really pumped to see more chapters: D
| Naruto Gremory chapter 3 . 10/10
It's an interesting concept. I have not seen anything like this. I can not wait to see what to do with it.
| Naruto Gremory chapter 2 . 10/10
Really loved this chapter. Can't wait for more.
| Naruto Gremory chapter 1 . 10/10
Great introduction chapter. Looking forward to the rest of the story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/19
Please continue this story or let other writer who had same writing talent as you adopt it because it is a great story and many people who is following you want this story updated
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/17
Is story is really good, are u going to continue it? If u can u would be doing people a lot of favor, so plz continue it
| Guest chapter 4 . 9/16
Please continue this fic, it's very good and I really want to know the origin of Naruto's Sharingan.
| Valiryo chapter 4 . 9/14
Really enjoyed this and seems to have some potential, hopefully the author will pick this back up.
| Weirdshipper chapter 4 . 7/22
5/5 4 me... But it starting to get to me how u write amazing stories then leave them unfinished.
| PRICEOFSKY chapter 4 . 7/2
| bleachnarutolo1 chapter 4 . 6/23
wow great story as you haven't updated for quite update soon.a few questions for this story the uchiha massacre take place as fugaku seems good. sasuke(sayuri) leave.3. What about other characters like sakura. naruto the only one having sharingan as there is no record in the but please update your other stories one of your stories is good.
| Ghel.Rangel chapter 4 . 6/22
| MonkeyD.Monte chapter 4 . 6/17
I love this fic! Please continue it!