|Reviews for RWBY Journey: Fire & Gold|
| 5 Coloured Walker chapter 9 . 4/15
And I've finally caught up.
This one is worse and I could go through to list all my nitpicks, but I'll just say that it's worth going through this story to get to the others, even if not truly necessary. A good story, and many thanks for having written it.
| Natural Born Flamer chapter 9 . 11/21/2014
nice adventure story...
| Fourze chapter 9 . 11/2/2014
All I can say is favourited.
| Fourze chapter 2 . 11/1/2014
Someone's been doing their research. Loving the story so far btw
| ODST110 chapter 9 . 10/16/2014
ok. hopefully you see this, but i have one hell of a comment,probably.
you know, i saw this and chose to read it when the sequel became finished. the sequel sounded interesting so i was like "you know, i remember seeing this story when it was first finished and it didnt seem like my kinda thing. but this new sequel seems interesting, so why not, i'll give it a shot" so i did, and man, just the stuff. (heavy critique)
i can totally see where youre coming from on some points. lets start with Ruby. i remember you even stating you preferred the Ruby from the Red Trailer, which is why you made her a total badass. alright, doesnt go with the story much anymore, but ok, i get it. but then you also made her a bit of an emotionless bitch. i mean, i feel like there are people who could be like that, but i think that there are also hunters and people with less than legal jobs who still have a good sense of humor. the fact that real Ruby is also an adorable sweetheart doesnt help the case that much. but thats really my only issue with her, i think she shoulda been a bit less mean, but her being a total badass is A-OK!
now, second. Yang. i think you make yang two things. first, a somewhat trusting, loyal person, but at the same time, you make her a pushover mess-up who cant really do a lot worthwhile. i mean, at the end you get all the cool stuff, shes less of a pushover, and you really do get to understand her character more.
the freakin names though man. the whole time reading this i was just like "why you make the names all weird?", i mean i kinda get that to. you made her name just like Ren's name. the only problem is that people dont call yang "Xiao Long" like they call ren, well, Ren. they call her Yang. and when we finally met Zwei we found out their dad's real name, but i cant fault you for that one.
Third. and least important. the crime and demon concept. i can see the demon concept, while not the most likely, it still seems at least somewhat feasible as far as the idea goes. but i dont really see the sense in the crime. i understand how a city can be controlled by a group of mobsters, used to happen to major cities, and still does depending on who you talk to. but, i feel like it just. . .i dont know. . .just didnt really click with the rest of the story.
and big sis, i thought that was a bit weird
this looks like bash, and it kinda is. BUT, i still liked the story and i see promise in the sequel, it just took a while for me to get through it, because it just seems a bit out there in comparison to the normal universe.
dont take the words to harshly, they arent meant for that.
| CalligoMiles chapter 9 . 10/5/2014
Wait, this is a PREQUEL? Anyway it is truly oneof the best fanfics ive seen so far.
| CalligoMiles chapter 5 . 10/5/2014
| CalligoMiles chapter 2 . 10/5/2014
| Deuce-M's chapter 9 . 9/2/2014
Pardon my language... but,
I f*cking LOVED that ending.
If you were going for the cinematic ending, you damn well delivered. Probly one of my favorite conclusions to a fic. Well done.
| Drow79 chapter 9 . 6/10/2014
Can't wait for sequel. Great story.
| TheBleachDoctor chapter 9 . 12/16/2013
Nice. A very well-written adaptation of the RWBY characters.
| Tear of Light chapter 9 . 12/10/2013
This was a nice wrap up of this particular story. I'm a bit of a sucker when it comes to happy endings, and in my definition, this counts as one of them. :) I look forward to Ruby's tale. Whether or not it will be longer or shorter than this one matters not to me. I know it will be epic nonetheless. Keep up the awesome writing! :)
| Tear of Light chapter 8 . 12/10/2013
I'm sorry, but I couldn't but laugh at Yang when she got herself stuck at the beginning. Lol. I suppose it's because you captured her so well and the emotions and everything were just so perfect that I couldn't but smile. That was such a Yang thing to do. XD As for Ruby, I'm definitely surprised at the outcome in the end with regards to her. But like you mentioned in your notes at the top, you're not going to reveal anything yet, so I'll have to wait. That was an epic battle for sure! Kudos for writing such an amazing chapter!
| WarmasterCain55 chapter 9 . 12/10/2013
I was disappointed when I read that this was it but I look forward to the sequel. You are an excellent writer.
| DezoPenguin chapter 9 . 12/10/2013
Congratulations on wrapping it up! This has been a fun short novel. Especially enjoyable is the fact that being set in an AU, you were able to focus on the action/adventure/fantasy plot while still starring the canon characters. The multi-layered villainy (that is, with apparently human schemers behind things, rather than mindless abominations that are incarnated forces of destruction) calls out to canon and gives depth to the story as part of the greater plot you're constructing. I remain interested in this world you've created and want to know more about what's going on and see the continuing adventures of the cast as they find out what is really behind everything.
On a more neutral side, I note that there are significant changes between this AU and canon. I've already mentioned the alterations in Yang's character (it is rather astonishing how much she changes when she fills the "little sister" role; throughout this story she's felt much more out of control than she is in canon and I think it's because the "responsible sister" elements have been removed so that there's no real underlying sense that she has any idea what's she's doing but is just sort of careening forward on emotion and gut instinct-see last chapter where she punches the Demon's eye and gets stuck), so I'll speak to the general mood-this setting is a lot darker and more violent than canon. It's not just the high stakes and the levels of death and destruction (after all, canon Remnant is a world where hordes of soulless monsters randomly prowl the wilderness, attacking any person they encounter and like the real world has been beset by war, crime, and racial strife), but the casual acceptance of brutality and murder by the main cast (note: Nora is creepy in a way that Ren is not because of this), the use of profanity, and similar elements. Some readers may enjoy this as lending seriousness to the plot and removing of cartoonish elements from the story, while others may find it to be needless grimdarkery; I'll simply mention that it exists since as yet I find these changes neither to improve or to harm the overall product.
The only genuine negative I can find in this story is the occasional shifting between present and past tense (for example, the second and third paragraphs in this epilogue are in the present tense, and there's one instance of it in the fourth)-this can be rather distracting. I tend to dislike the use of the present tense for narrative (it always feels to me, since past tense is the English standard, that writing in present tense is the author being intentionally "arty," which distracts me from immersion in the story due to my increased meta-awareness of it *being* a story), but it's variance between the two that creates genuine problems that should be worked on in future entries.
All in all, though, this has been one of the stronger entries I've seen in RWBY fanfiction, and I eagerly await the next arc, whether you go back and do Ruby's or proceed forward to Blake's or Weiss's.