Reviews for Take It Too Far
Nick chapter 30 . 11/1/2018
"He's a total D-I-C-K-H-E-A-D."
Was insulted today
Now Kelly must wash windows
On a very cold day

"I did bring Kelly's Mini Me for inspection."
Pree-zent arms!

I never got into insult one-upsmanship. Every one I ever saw ended in a fight, so I just started skipping straight to the punches. "Watch where I'm going, fucktard!" No time wasted on words, just KA-POW!

"...I can't out run Limp Legs Livvy."
Plenty of shit you can't outrun. If you can't kneecap it, you gotta stand it.

Tenth grade...15...yeah, sounds about the right age.
Teens are stupid. That hasn't changed since...ever, I think. Old enough to fuck up, too young to know it's better not to.

"He threw dead bugs on me just to hear me scream..."
There's plenty worse things people will do because they can.
Not minimizing her thing. Just saying.

There is a way to handle things. It involves keeping your cool for the moment. If you can keep your cool, you can wait until a time when there are no witnesses and no devices. That is the right time to...share your thoughts.

"Pridgen needles him further."
You know, a head slam to a solid surface will work wonders for stopping that.
I mean, not that I would know or anything, but that's what I've heard. *tries and fails to whistle innocently because I actually can't whistle*

Often, what runs through my head reading this thing is "Now would be a real good time to hold my hand."

"You changed my pee bag."
Husbands do things for wives, no?

- Repeat after me...Francois. Say it like that. Fran. Cois.
- Fa. Fa.
- No. Francois.
- Fa-Fa.
OH! That reminds me of something that always makes me laugh. My niece's kid couldn't say my name right. And at the time, they lived on the way to where I was working. So I'm cruising to work one day - now, my experience is I heard this car honking and wondered, who'd I piss off now? Then they pulled alongside waving.
How niece1 tells it is she was going home and her kid suddenly got real excited and pointing - "Tam! Tam!" And my niece is wondering what she's on about and then sees me and honks. But apparently The Kid thought I was going to visit them and when I passed their street instead of turning got very sad.
Kids, never boring.

Gardens are nice. I spent two hours walking and taking shots at the Botanical Gardens earlier this year. I've learned my lesson and am looking now for places to get good wildflower shots next spring.

" calms her..."
I only remember liking one song from childhood, and I think I was about five at the time. Maybe? 80 - 66 14. 5 and 14 is 19. No, I would have been younger. She would have been about 16...but no, I wouldn't have a memory from 2, I don't think. So she would have been 17, and I would have been 3...that still sounds off. Anyway, my sister had been sent to this JD camp and her sentence was up and my parents took me and my brother with to get her, and I remember 2 things specifically - liking "I Love A Rainy Night" and, because I didn't know it was a JD camp, being real jealous because she got to go to camp and I didn't.
I don't remember any songs but that one. I'm sure there were, but I don't remember them.
I do remember songs from a little later on. A lot of country, because my da listened to country. "Pancho and Lefty". Lots of George Jones and Conway Twitty. A lot of hymns and gosoel, because my mom liked those.
But no, aside from the one song, I don't remember any music from when I could still walk under a flea's belly.

"We've had a hard year."
Hard entire fic is more like it. Tell your writer to be nicer to youse guys.
Nick chapter 29 . 11/1/2018
"Where I'm always at!"
Marco! Polo!

"You're almost there baby."
Whis is never around when you need him.

Root beer *does* taste better in a frozen mug. But root beer floats are best.

Belongs. Trust me on this.

This was a very nice chapter in a fic that doesn't have enough good chapter endings. Very good. Please write me a note excusing me from work today, I want to go back to sleep.
Nick chapter 28 . 10/31/2018
"...would of..."
Would have, damnit!

Well, that was exciting. But I've gone decaffeinated and non-functional. You'll have to take my word you did a very good job. My only problem was a lack of description kept me from being fully immersed in the bit with the arsonist. But that's a good thing, I don't need to be jumpy with my reflexes. This idiot jumped out one time and without thinking I decked him. Don't do shit like that, man.
Nick chapter 27 . 10/31/2018
"I'm doing this Liv with or with you."
Just so you know, I get your meaning. Still funny.

"...would of..."
A pox on you, you have hit one of my pet peeves.

I'm told nobody cares about reviews. That's to my good fortune, because I missed the DEA part in the show and assumed she was picked up by the FBI. My bad. But DEA makes more sense, FBI crawls into every orifice looking for dirt and if they find any, you're out. They most likely would have found things she would prefer not be widespread knowledge. DEA doesn't care. "Can you shoot?" "Yes." "You're hired." More or less.

"Maggie Seaver peds nurse."
So this is what she's doing post-"Growing Pains".

I never could get into The Blacklist. Dunno why, just never stuck with me.

Their fights are like that one scene in Outlander where they fight then fuck then get cold water thrown on them.

"She's my hetero life partner."
- I'm Poot, and this is my hetero life-mate, Frank.
One of the best movies known to man.

*counts* 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - very good last 5 sentences, near perfect moment.
Nick chapter 26 . 10/31/2018
First section - entirely the problem with citizen life. Too many words needed, a need for others to solve your problems.
This used to be very simple - "Back the fuck off." Everybody knew the rules, everybody knew the consequences.

"I'm taking the Fed Gig."
It sounds like a car.
- I'm taking the Fed Gig.
- But I wanted to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!

"He has eroded my brain to mouth filter with his perversions."
They raped my virgin mind!

"...the bed that is kept for her in the on call room."
If I learned anything from Alex on Grey's, it's to be wary. I've seen what he got up to in what I assume was every spare bed. Yeech. Nosocomial infection inbound.

"Stand up."
Stomach in! Chest out! Chin up!
Very good, you look just like a real soldier. Now let's see some close-quarter. Double-time, harch!

Up, down, here, there, your chapters often zoom all over the place like a honeybee going from flower to flower. I would say more except I don't have more. Sorry. Just take my word it was good.
Nick chapter 25 . 10/31/2018
"So I got offered a Fed job."
Which makes me wonder if I need to stop here until I'm further along in PD.

It's a tough call. Not everyone gets to be a hotshot. That may mean it's fine to stay a badge, or it may obligate her to move up into the feebs on behalf of the rest, along the same lines as how I really feel I should make full use of my limbs because there are people who can't and to not make full use when I can is a dis. *taps chin in thought*

"...just give her some cold medicine."
Seriously, how does he not know this stuff? I'm not a dad and *I* know this stuff.

What this brings to mind...
You follow Raw from state to state, it's not drifting, it's stalking.

"Erin sipped her drink and eyed faceless blonde..."
No, don't look. Damn, you're being courted by the feebs and you look? *shakes head*

Madam, how dare you! Powerade is yummy in red. Especially if one is dehydrated.

"Owen's wife Lindsey not Erin Lindsay."
At least he doesn't have to worry about yelling the wrong name.

Yes. Eventually I will have another dog. I need to think on breed and names. You want a harmless name, not one that will get your dog shot as presumed aggressive when badges kick in your door. No Bruiser or Devil or such.
I could probably stand to have a rottie named Muffin.

"He turned to find the entire house staring at him."
I imagine it is to them what Voight calling anyone Kitten is to me.

"Okay gimme Gabi before we get a baby hulk out."
It's like that one episode of Sealab 2021 where the vending machine falls on Murphy and the scorpion stings him so much he gets hooked on the venom and it alters his makeup to the point when the scorpion is killed he hulks out. It's like a koala just crapped a rainbow in my brain.

Such a nice previous chapter, then you do this. Who hurt you?
Nick chapter 24 . 10/31/2018
"No buts..."
Yep, you did it, Radar, no butts about it.

"I just wanted to invite you all to the courthouse..."
So my niece, niece1, got married. They did it in a courthouse. I felt weird, taking time off and getting dressed up just to go to a courthouse wedding. Stood there with parents and friends of hers, waited for her to show up. Of course she would be late, this is niece1 we're talking about. Caught up with some people and teased The Kid, who is a soccer player, about being a jock. We shuffled into the courtroom seats. She and Alex, who is a very nice guy and not someone I ever would have pegged her winding up with, good on her, exchanged vows and I-dos, and that was it. Half an hour of waiting, five minutes of ceremony, no cake.
I've never much cared for weddings, as I've never been to one as cute as on tv and they all take so much damn time. But...the courthouse thing, I just kinda felt...I mean, maybe I'll feel different when the time comes, as what actually matters is the I-dos, felt less like getting married and more like something getting cleared off the docket.
But hey, they're still married, so...I mean, that counts more than what the ceremony felt like to me.
I would like to feel like a wedding on tv, though. There was a very cute movie where this couple met at a wedding and dude was all excited to try the cake and the woman just swooped in with her fork and tasted it, then he's like "Well, turnabout's fair play" and goes to take some of hers and she sticks her fork against his hand like she's going to stab it. "Ah ah ah, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, when it comes to cake." It sounds silly, but it was very cute.

You can have the chili cheese fries. I want that burger and shake!

I don't know which I would prefer, A. that craps table girl already knows him, B. that she for some reason followed him here, C. that it's pure coinkydink.
Why do these women always mock the wheelchair?
Someone's in a chair. *gasp* Seriously, it has nothing to do with who they are one way or the other. I've had pals in chairs before. I didn't like them more because of it. I didn't like them less because of it. I liked them because of who they were and what they did. So someone's in a chair, so someone's got a club foot or a prosthetic or a cleft palate or half their face is gone because they were shot in the head and it ricocheted off a steel plate. It is what it is. I. Do. Not. Care. I will take someone like that who gives 100% effort every day of the week and twice on Sunday over a "normal" person who halfasses it. Inside matters, outside is just details.
Well, so much for "all women are sisters".

"What was the hockey player's name?"
Boom-Boom Warshawski!
Sorry, first thing to mind.

"I've corrupted you."
Thanks for the image of him being Palpatine to her Vader.

*zips on past the part about the freaks*

Sweet note.

"...the Severide Adoption."
Now available in paperback in stores everywhere!

This was especially good when they hit the adoption, it's good to finally not end in catastrophe. Sorry for not being more detailed on this, thinking back on my niece's marriage ceremony and everything it made me think on took too much time, got lost in thought.
Thanks for writing this and all your fics. Stay frosty.
Nick chapter 23 . 10/31/2018
Written in snatches here and there, sorry.

It's nice to have family to kick your ass into gear, but at the same time - you don't always have family. Sometimes it's on you alone to pull your ass outta the zero.

Tale of the tape, please. Stats on Owen vs. Severide. Height, weight, bodyfat percentage, lean muscle mass, training, experience. Oh, and I think attitude as well, please - the guy willing to fight dirty often triumphs over the guy with a "fair fight" attitude. Ah, and the X factor - who has more will to fight through pain?
Come to think of it, a well-written fight between these two could possibly lend a very good "Quiet Man" vibe to part of this. That was such a good fight they had, the suitor fighting the brother who deems him not worthy.

I like that you know Veronica Lake. Very good.

"...I pulled a dick move..."
You do something, there are consequences. Yes, you take them. Very good.

"No big deal babe it is already handled."
This makes me think.
It was between them, but it concerned her. Does she get to step in because of that? Because it's her brother and husband? Or does she need to let them resolve their differences in their manner?
It's like, this past episode of "Black Lightning". Students are fighting. Pierce handles it well. A very manly way of handling it, I thought - shake hands, go about your business, it's done. A fight ought never be made into more than it is. Then dicklet pops up and huffs and puffs. No no no, dude, don't make me jump into that tv and break your jaw. Enough of this zero-tolerance shit. Pierce had it handled, step the fuck back with your need to swing your dick.
Tell you something else, too. You label a kid at-risk, you just created a kid at-risk.

"'s the most expensive thing I own..."
As compared to the writer of this piece, who continually states she owns nothing. :)

"Voight's injuries I'm unsure of he wouldn't let me check him over."
Marine humor incoming - a sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

"Your levels are a bit low..."
I don't like passing out from deprivation. I wake up with this stupid grin from oxygen high. Very embarrassing.

Every time I hear that word, I get hungry for Italian. Leave the gun, take the cannula.
No, please don't correct my deliberately incorrect quote.

"You piss me off you get the tiger not the kitten."
Cub, technically.

"Something you couldn't handle..."
Ruzek's booked, anyway.

"I just watched an elevator free fall."
Simple solution. Bring elevator to first floor, hit elevator stop, sex in elevator on first floor. Up-and-down of elevator doesn't really contribute much to the experience, so no loss.

"Do you tell him everything?!"
And why not? She tells *you* everything, right?

"You remember that when he cheats again..."
Foul on Lindsay, low blow, 10-yard penalty!

"Promise me..."
Oh, I hate promises like that. The heavy promises.

Now see, I like Owen's protectiveness, but I have no patience for guys who are attached/married and cheat. And Scrabble is awesome, by the way.

"...Severide Spawn..."
Todd McFarlane's new comic series?

"Her music is catchy..."
Some of it. The one about high heels and sneakers, the one about sparks flying, the one about being 22, and the one about never going out of style. This is why I don't like her, for the same reason I don't like Carly Rae Jepsen. I can't stand music that infiltrates my brain and drives me crazy. Nothing more annoying than liking music you don't like.

"...both you know I hate flying."
I prefer to drive. No problem with planes, I just like to drive. I can choose when I stop and start, I can roll packing (depending on state, and if in unfriendly state tuck it away and follow the rules - you can break the big rules if you follow the little ones), I can carry a multitool with blade, I can have the snacks I choose, no crying babies or people kicking my seat, no rules on when I can move - Nicky is a driver.
Of course, if they were to let me pilot the plane...

"...Kelly texted to Benny."
I misread for a second and thought you wrote "sexted" and was like, what the fuck kinda fic is she turning this into?!

"...craps table..."
No craps. No roulette. Cards are the best bet, and you have to know how to play them.
Vegas is not my style. "Never gamble with money, kid, only your life." That was in another life, but I still do not gamble with money. I don't get that dopamine hit others get.
Can be done in moderation, though. 1. Have a fixed amount you're willing to lose, don't go beyond that. 2. Bet small. Work your way up with each win. Soon as you lose, bet small again. Knowing what you're doing, you can make a decent amount of winnings this way. It's a combination of playing smart and betting smart.

"you don't know this because we don't really dance but I'm a shitty dancer."
Ah, but swing dancing is awesome. Very fun.

'Twas a good note to end on, thanks. Sometimes this fic feels somewhat haphazard, and sometimes it feels like there's major themes present. It's a really interesting mix. Oh, and thank you very much for being a writer and writing these things.
Guest chapter 22 . 10/31/2018
"When he left the bar with her, this woman whose name he can't remember..."
*shakes head sadly* Oh baby no, what is you doin'?

Rubber ducky, you're the one
You remind Daddy not th cheat
Rubber ducky, you may just have saved a marriage

One thing I can say, I never cheated. That's one wrong thing I never did. Not in body, not in heart.

Oh, dude, when he hits base it hurts. She's trying very hard. Dude, what kind of idiot are you? FIGHT FOR HER, DUMBASS! GET YOUR SHIT WIRED THE FUCK BACK TOGETHER AND FIGHT FOR HER!
Do not cost yourself something good.

I get he's a first responder and she's a doc but...every time personal shit does damage, some emergency always happens.

The shooting is at once somehow both realistic and unrealistic. *headscratch*

"Next time someone shoots at you Kelly? You should tell me."
*taps chin in thought*
Did she really give him much of a chance? You have to be calm to bring up such things, that wasn't a very calm scene in the house, regardless of how calm the words may have been.
Did he really want to volunteer that information?
AHA! You know who he reminds me of here? McNulty from "The Wire". The fuckup who doesn't want to fuck up but can't help it. Don't be McNulty, dude, because I always feel that last shot of him and his wife is her goodbye to him.

"You can three dimensionally print an organ..."
I often wonder what SF novel the future will look like the most.

"I'm sorry you did something that requires my forgiveness..."
No no no. That needed a better setup. That's the kind of thing you say when you're told to say "I'm sorry."
- Say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry...that you suck so much!

"I don't feel comfortable being nude in front of the dude that looks like Casey."
Actor references are always funny, especially when done in-show. This really should have been a running joke.
- You look like that one guy from House!
- You look like that one guy from The Vampire Diaries, so shut up!
- You both need to shut up!
- Dude, is it me or does Chief look like that one guy from Oz?

Very nice scene with the woman he saved. He needs to take that to heart.

"You know I'm a strong believer of doing it in the back seat."
Am suddenly reminded of "The Chase". One specific scene.

"More importantly what kind of pie is that? I'm hungry."
A meat pie from Mrs. Lovett.

I feel like I should end with something less graveyard humor than that, but aside from praise for you as a writer I have nothing. Sorry.
Well, there's this, for what it's worth -
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says. "What is this, a joke?"
Nick chapter 21 . 10/30/2018
"Kelly really hates being alone...but to push away anything he loved when in pain was a hard won default setting."
1. Never let them see you bleed.
2. I hurt alone.

"...last time she refused to let him push her away."
Sometimes that's what it takes.

Fight for her. If you really want it, really want her, fight for her.

"...and I keep messing shit up."
Is that not how it tends to go? More men I know are dunderheads in the area of women than not. You want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?
"His life is about to change
He's never gonna be the same
And he'll be livin' in a different world
When boy meets girl"

"I can't get in your way Kelly."
Space is important, even though it's hard to know how much to back off and how much to hang on.

"...Erin is having Voight drama..."
I was laughing earlier as I pictured Voight as lead in a romantic comedy.

"I don't care what Erin says it's a letter..."
Looked at one way, a syllable. Like "eye" or "why". So if we just add on an e or two...Eee. And we have a word.

"Last time Daddy lugged me up the main stairs. He needed to feel manly."
Or that was his leg day workout.

"Well hi there, How's my Klairey girl?"
Oh dear God, that's going to give me nightmares.

THis is a lot of typing and scrolling back and forth. So let me just say about love and forgiveness and working - heavy but true. Very good.

"The things he knows Livvy."
- We don't have a choice, we *have* to talk to them. They've got all the 411, they know where all the bodies are buried.
- Because they buried them, dumbass!

"Oh next time your husband pulls a bender I'm tossing him in the drunk tank."
There are 2 shades of dirty cop. One really is dirty. The other just plays as dirty as the shitheels he's up against. Sometimes the latter means you put the spirit of the law ahead of the letter of it.

"I believe I owe you breakfast Kitten."
More nightmare material.

"There's a kid, he's got a gun."
1. This was a good section. Short, but good.
2. I forgot what 2 was going to be, sorry.

"Welcome to my everyday reality Severide."
Oh, so many thoughts on perspective and...roles is the wrong word. But, roles in relation to each other. Too many thoughts to organize and put down in less than a dissertation.

"I carry it I name it."
See, this is the problem. How am I supposed to have a say in naming the baby?

"If it's shiny it must go in her mouth."
You keep her away from my Firefly!

You can keep your football. I'll take the real football, and the ice hockey. What? What? Someone's feelings hurt over sports? Come at me, I'll take ALL y'all on!

"...when you're at work or with Liv you lie and make yourself believe you're fine."

That entire bit of 20 minutes reminds me of "A Hymn Before Battle" where Mighty Mite manages to shave and be in uniform in his CO's office in 5 minutes. Very good.

I'd say it's a good little chapter, but there's nothing little about it.
Guest chapter 20 . 10/28/2018
"I wonder what she's thinking."
Probably double-checking the theory of relativity by re-working it from scratch.

"Do you want more bacon?"
Why do people ask such questions? There is only one answer, and it is yes.

"Lucky for you we don't have a cat."
Yes. I do not want to be murdered in my sleep because I gave dry food instead of tuna.

There was a show called "7th Heaven". At one point, one of the daughters married a cop. And then at one point later, after his wife was preggers - actually, I don't remember if she was pregnant or if the baby was born. But he got shot, and it made him realize he wanted to stick around to see his kid grow up. So he quit.
I like this character. THat seems like an incredibly tough choice requiring a lot of thought, to choose between what you feel is your calling and your family. I liked that none of the other badges held it against him.
So anyway - bottom line, this just reminds me of that character and how masculine I actually remember thinking he was, because he became a stay-at-home dad while his wife worked and he was doing this Mommy & Me thing and some other dude came to pick up his wife and kid one time and started basically berating him. "What's a man doing at a Mommy & Me class? Oh, a cop? And you quit just because you got shot? Pussy!" And dude just let it roll off. I remember thinking, yeah boy! No need to let yourself be bothered by someone who ain't been there.
It's like Wolf told me this one time - "You go home, some wave the flag, some turn their backs. It's all the same, none of 'em know where you've been. Let it roll off, kid, it don't mean nothin'."

I can't decide if I think they're more like Coach and Mrs. Coach, or more like Billy and Mindy.

No fair! I wanne be able to just take off from work! I bet even if my wife were pregnant and needed stuff my boss wouldn't let me. Or it'd be like, "Sure, you can go. But don't come back."

"It has your name all over it."
Like in Con Air.

Where the fuck is Wallace, String?! WHERE THE FUCK IS WALLACE?!
"Feed that line of bullshit to someone else Wallace..."
Never mind, String, we found him!

That bit about not coming home because he was drunk came outta nowhere, given the upbeat start. Well now there then.

"How do I fix this?"
We need an instruction manual.

"So, you wanna go see that Nicholas Sparks movie..."
Depends on who's asking.

Well, this was rough.
They probably can't afford to be down anyone else...and maybe he'd go stir-crazy...but I think he needs some time off to get his head straight and make it right. Being around her and the kid could get him to remember what's worth living for. Of course, one wonders if that's an option right now.
Nick chapter 19 . 10/27/2018
Well...that was some chapter. I'm not going back and reading it again to find more stuff. Once was enough, thanks.
Nick chapter 18 . 10/27/2018
"If Hank hears that it's your ass girl, change it. I need you to call me back a building exploded today Kelly was insideā€¦"
Interesting how coherent it starts out. Very composed.
It's not a nitpick. I'm just not as talky, I reckon. in bad situations when I need someone to pull me together, I actually am very laconic in stuff like this. My packmates know me well enough to have it figured out. If I leave a message like, "Yo, rat bastard! Hit me back." they know it's cool. When they hear, "It's Nick. Need to talk." that's when they know it's a code zero.
Different strokes, different folks.

It's interesting how people are in tense stuff. She talks to herself. I go entirely internal except for maybe grunts and snarls. Never let them see you hurt.

"I'm going to touch you Olivia."
I mean, I like this, but...I am and am not for consent. Or rather, for obtaining consent. It's a good thing, but sometimes - I think people think too much about this and that. It's a fairly normal thing in a crisis situation, if you sense someone needs touch, to just touch.
*shrug* I dunno.
It's still a touching first section.

And an even more touching piece with Liv'n'Viv.

I never saw OITNB.

"...because if it's anal I'm out."
I can get behind that.

I do and don't wish I had a family like hers.
i like how they talk about everything.
But I'm not talking about personal sex shit with anyone. I'm like Rabbit in "8 Mile" - "He won't go down on me!" "I don't wanna hear this!"
And...I have a brother. We don't get along. I have an ex-sister, she's dead to me. That pretty much ends my potential for blood family moments. What I am left with is family of choice. Pack.
Nick chapter 17 . 10/26/2018
Yes, they do like bouncing. Similar to how Siberians want nonstop affection, babies like the bouncing in my experience. This is how we came to have the thing. You know, the bouncy thing? There's a little harness-type thingy on like elastic straps and you put the kid in and they can bounce on their own? No, don't give me that look, the thing, the thing! I don't know the name, it's just the bouncy thing!

"...and Charlie showed up at the station."
I saw that episode! At least I know where this is in PD.

"You've shed who you were..."
Why do people understand and like this in fiction but not in real life? People can change. Bad people can switch sides, reform. But in real life, there so often is judgment. It's ridiculous and messed up. Your past informs you, it is a part of you, but who you *were* is not who you *are*.
It's frustrating. It's frustrating to see people at the movies cheering gunfire and explosions and beating people up but then looking at you like you're high-risk when they find out you have a CCW and train so you don't handle your piece like an idiot. It's fairly equally frustrating to have decided words aren't worth going to jail over and then a girl breaks up with you because you wouldn't get in a fight with a loudmouth. "It just wasn't attractive to see you back down." Yes, because I look so much more attractive in orange. I'm not going to jail over words, and I'm not going to jail to impress a woman. It ain't backing down, ma'am, it's choosing not to give the reins to my temper.
In general, it's pretty much just frustrating to see people who cheer guys like The Punisher, but then shy away from someone for real, despite being reformed. Yes, I can hurt people. I choose not to. That should matter.

"No need to call me ma'am Liv works."
Yes ma'am.
First it's "sir". Then "Mr. Smith". Then, eventually, we get to "John". This is my progression, and it takes time.

It's always good to know my pig Latin hasn't gotten rusty.

"She looks like a strung out Summer Glau."
I'm not sure what this says about Summer Glau, whom I've never had a problem with. I mean, she's not my type, but I've never thought she looked bad, either. Though yeah, strung-out people do look pretty zombiefied. It's like when you're at a stoplight and this crackhead goes shuffling by and you're like, "Crap, a walking corpse, get the green-tipped ammo! Oh, wait, it's just a crackhead, never mind."

"We don't hug..."
All I can say is if I let someone close enough to hug me, that's how you know we're tight. I can be a hugger, but only with people I'm relaxed around.

"You're a damn idiot!"
This is where I get complex. I see multiple views here.
Liv was worried and clinging to something routine.
At the same time, though - it was harsh, yes. But Severide is angry and in pain and not entirely thinking.
It's not easy. It's not easy to consider others, even your wife, when you're full of raw hurt.
It's not easy for either of them. And it's not easy to reconcile different approaches to the same scenario.

I was somewhat out of the moment with the DCFS worker. The emotions didn't flow to me well. Or perhaps I went in pre-shut-down for it. *shrug*
But the emotions flow very well for the crack in their relationship and afterwards.

"I'm a devout catholic..."
I mean, I'm not really down with Catholicism, but I know some very cool Catholics.
I've heard all the crap. A says B isn't getting into Heaven. B says the same of A. Christianity is divided this way and that amongst all the different sects. The only thing I'm certain of is there will people there you never expected to see there, from all sects.
Which reminds me - a plane crashes. The pilot goes before St. Peter, who checks his watch. "Right on time. Go on in." A passenger in the pilot's plane comes next and St. Peter is surprised. "You're early! What are you doing here?" Dude points at the pilot. "I'm with him."
Also sudden thought - nobody truly knows what Heaven will be like, but I have my preferred vision of it. That is all things ideal. Well, I mean, not like everything bad you could ever want, it's not like I'm talking like, "Yeah, man, there'll be massive amounts of blow and you never crash!" But - i like to think of it as getting to see every good thing I would want to see. I'd finally get to see what really would happen if Marciano fought Ali. I could see the world's greatest ice hockey dream team, made of the greatest from every time. We could settle the question of whether Orr or Gretzky is best. I could hear all the blues greats jamming together. I could get schooled by Minnesota Fats.
That's how I prefer to think of it. Everything you like from all times and all your loved ones.
There's some show where they interview actors and at the end they do this list of questions. So what would I want to hear said if I make it in? I'd actually like to hear I aced it. But I haven't aced it, so the most I can hope for would be, "Step forward now, you have borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets, for you have done your time in Hell."

I'm not a good talker. It's something I'm working on - "Use your words." - but I don't know. I do better with tangible things - in something extreme like this, it would probably be break stuff to get the worst of it out, so I can channel the rest into making something. When I try to talk things out in one go, I mess up and say the wrong stuff.
I'm kinda ok at talking over the long term? But in one go - no, not good. Better doer than talker.

"We're married and in case you've forgotten, you are supposed to tell me "This is how I'm dealing with losing Klaire and what happened at work."
That...that...that...that would scare the shit out of me.
They went very fast in this fic. I need time to get to this level of trust. I expect to be hurt.

"By the time the statement leaves his mouth he regrets it. "
This is another reason I don't like to talk a lot. There are no takebacks.

So much emotion. I couldn't be by that truck. I would put my fist through a window with that much turmoil roiling inside.

Makeup sex does tend to have just a hint of grudgefuck in it. Just that slight edge of punishment.

There is no bad sex for someone with a Y chromosome.
Ill-advised sex? Sure. But no bad sex. You might regret it, but you won't regret it.

"She prayed to the bright walls of the empty room."
I don't do saints. But if I did - as much as I like Saint Nicholas, my patron saint would be St. Jude.

Now, this is one long fic, and being honest - it would be great if this were split up like your Jax-Jenna fics. Because this thing alone of having a shot at a kid and losing it and the ensuing cracks and dealing with those cracks - it deserves to be a fic unto itself, it happened way too fast here to truly do it full justice.

Question - please don't take this as nitpicking, but why do you switch tenses? Is it accidental, or is there a reason for it?
Guest chapter 16 . 10/26/2018
"Baby your cluelessness is so very charming."
I dunno. I knew before the age of 10 babies didn't allow for much sleep, just from The Flintstones and the tv comedy plots revolving around it and from hearing grownups talk. You pick up a lot when you listen more than you do talk. Also from Babysitters Club books. And with the inadvertent confession that I used to read BSC, I should probably not sign this review. (In my defense, I had read everything else in the school library, which was my safe haven from the predators until they closed it for reno in 8th grade and I was cast to the wolves.)

Did he never wet the bed or something? I thought this was something everybody knew because we all lived through it. I don't remember it, but I've heard the stories.
Seriously, I thought all this was elementary baby and kid stuff everybody knew. Toddlers can wet the bed. waste stinks to high heaven. Support the head when you hold the baby. Are these not universally known?
Oh, this reminds me. Sometimes my niece would ask me to take care of her baby. So one time I'm changing the kid's diaper. Diaper's off, I'm resting her on me as I get a fresh one. Suddenly I feel very warm on my stomach. Then cool. Like when I spill tea., she did not!...she did, and I swear to God she was grinning about it, I just know damn well she thought it was hilarious.

"No threesomes and no I won't do a lesbian while you watch..."
Too late. The restrictions have to come *before* the "...dirtiest, naughtiest...we'll do that..." part of the proposition.

"...goodnight my other baby."
People always say men are the biggest babies.
Being honest, I don't think I'm a baby. I play through the pain, I don't bitch about minor hurts and injuries, when I'm sick instead of whining I tend to just curl up in a ball and sleep. I deal with it when I don't sleep well and I pick up for mates who need to talk even in the middle of the night and on occasion during work if it's really serious. Keep your word, carry your weight, show up on time with what you need. These things are important and not to be bitched about, because if you can't be counted ON, you can't be counted IN.

The dialogue hits fast and furious. This is a talky family.

"Well fuck em."
This is my backup response. Another reason I won't sign this is I sometimes get anxious over ridiculously stupid shit. If I send a pm or email or text, I'll suddenly think of all the different ways it could be taken wrong. Even a "howdy". Or if I post a fic on here - right before I hit the submit button, there will be an anxiety prod - "What if everyone hates it?"
This is where I am thankful for the little voice that has always made me seem cooler than I am. Like when I was [redacted].
Compared to such things, posting a fic is a very small thing. So when that anxiety hits, there comes the little voice - "Fuck 'em. Fuck the people who don't like it, fuck the little dark whispers, fuck 'em all. Deny them their power over you - fucking post it and let the chips fall where they may." Click, fic posted.
(This is an M fic. I figure a review with M language shouldn't be a problem. You can tell swearing is a fucking hard habit to kill.)

"There red and black accents in the Lady Bug theme."
Simply the best
Up to the test when things go wrong

"Now, we go home."
Indeed, this is the true mission - survive your shift and go home.
No, that's not smartass or anything - any badge with street time will tell you, rule one is survive your shift and go home to your family in one piece.

Good and tense emotion in the exciting parts. Sometimes these chapters feel like an ER shift - long time of not much more than regular stuff, then big tense flurries of emergency. Which I imagine is what you're going for, duplicating that sense, so good on ya.
227 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 12 .. Last Next »