Reviews for Take It Too Far
Guest chapter 15 . 10/23/2018
"Cocky Bastard..."
Damnit. I heard that in Timothy Dalton's voice.

"Babe, I'm fine."
This brings to mind something about some guy going, "What can you do?", but it's very far away on the hazy edges. I can't think of who it is I'm thinking of. Damn you, decaffeinated state. Damn you, waking up in the middle of the night. Damn you, song on loop in my head.

"Help someone handed me a baby!"
1. I laughed, this was a funny line.
2. I actually like holding babies. They feel nice, I feel kinda like a daddy, just a little bit for a few moments. I don't *need* my own biological kids, I can adopt, I can even go without kids if absolutely necessary - I just don't want to. I feel like my life would be incomplete if there weren't kids in it at some point. And maybe that's how it will go, my life being incomplete. *shrug* I don't *mind* adopting, there's a lot of kids who need help and they shouldn't be abandoned just because I selfishly want to make my own. But I still *do*. I don't *need* kids, I'm not going to die without them. But I *want* them. I want to raise kids and teach them how to take care of their cars (I don't know how to work on cars with all the computer stuff now) and how to build stuff and how to figure stuff out (like, I dunno, fixing a drainpipe. That's one of those problems that's fairly easy to do just by analyzing what you're dealing with.) and how to take care of the mower and how to cook and how to sew (I can't sew, not really, but I can still patch my clothes when they get torn up, I can sew well enough to patch) and how to swim and say please and thank you and sir and ma'am and how to box and - I want that. I don't *need* kids, I don't *need* a family - but I would like one very much. I'd like to have a son or daughter play-shaving with me and following me along with a toy mower while I mow and someone to "help" while I cook and someone to "help" while I work on stuff. *shrug* *sigh* Probably won't happen.

"Exam Six."
*deep movie guy voice* Exam Six - this time, it's personal.

Very good scene of Professional Liv.
"...do you trust me to be the great doctor you always say I am?"
Very good. Trust your woman. Practice what you preach.

Also a very good scene, talking with Lindsay. Shows her concerns over foster stuff and how deep it goes, and Lindsay is dead on. You gotta talk stuff through.

"Klaire Katherine Eliza."
I thought Bug was pretty cute, though.
I have always wanted to name my daughter Valkyrie. It's a strong name, in my opinion. And it can be shortened to Val, no worries about being poked fun of.
I'd like to name my son Maccabee. Allegedly it means "Hammer" (from what I understand, there is debate about that. There's a similar word that means "hammer", and Maccabee might or might not be derived from it.), and it can be shortened to Mac so no worries about being poked fun of.
I also like the name Gunshin. If I have translated properly, it means "War God". Doesn't get much stronger than that. However, it doesn't shorten to anything common, so it's rife for being poked fun of.
*sigh* Let's be honest, it's all just fantasy anyway.
In addition to it just won't happen, I probably would catch a frying pan upside the head for proposing any of those names.

"Small word Baby."
"Her tricuspid..."

"Say what's up or forefeit the right to bitch."
Now how come when I'm a straight shooter people always get mad at me?!

"If they take her from us I'll need you to pick me up when I crash emotionally..."
This is why I built walls. Can't get hurt. Also makes a litmus test - how bad does someone want in? Bad enough to prove in?

You must have caught me at a weak moment. The emotions were strong in this one.
Nick chapter 14 . 10/21/2018
Lindseride.
Stellaride.
SkyeWard. (Which is actually kind of clever in its simplicity, I think.)
Wayhaught.
Pairing names always feel like conjugation exercises to me.

"Meg"
Didn't see it, heard it sucked.

"Olivia Severide!"
WHAT?!
Oh, sorry, thought you were calling me. "Olivia Severide" is my D&D Wood Elf Ranger name.

Hey now, fuck swings are awesome.
*pleads the fifth*

I don't really get the "get dressed" thing. If you don't want to see it, don't be in my house.
In someone else's house, of course I won't. And I don't in my house. BUT I reserve the right to.

"Wait, you get kissed like that every morning?"
Only after she rinses with root beer.

I try to find lines that stand out, but really, there are few in this entire fic that stand out to me as this or that. It's really dialogue heavy as the characters speak and you count on the reader to fill in the blanks, and yes you're really good with emotional stuff, but that's a lot more for me with chapter developments than individual lines.

BUT - you have a phenomenal ending here, I will definitely grant you that. Bad news, and then just
Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."
Even without the part about staying afloat, that would have been a gutpunch ending.

For a happy-note end -
Time keeps on swimming swimming swimming into the future.
Nick chapter 13 . 10/21/2018
Everything is wrong with that first section. Not from a writing standpoint, it's fine.
I mean from real life.
1. Don't pursue a married woman, not even to a light extent. And honestly, this should extend to a woman with a boyfriend.
2. You're not 14. Don't use a kiss to mess with another guy. Keep it about her.
3. Fight that urge to be jealous and overly protective. Don't mark your territory. Trust your woman.

Finding Nemo. Damn, it's been a long time.

Are there even any coffee mugs anymore without silly pics or sayings?
Speaking of which, this is how used to standing on my own/un-used to nice things being done for me I am. I used to volunteer at this camp for disabled kids. One of the most awesome things in my life was when my camper's parents gave me a camping cup. Didn't have to.
That thing still means the world to me. One of a very few times when someone was nice to me when they didn't have to be. Awesome.

"You can have connections with people of the opposite sex, that aren't sexual Kelly."
"Not if you're straight you can't."
Um...I think half the time I would agree with her, the other half with him.

"Some hockey player for the Blackhawks."
I mean, it could be worse. He could have played for the Blues, or the Red Wings.

Um, excuse me - right here - yes, I have a question - who *wouldn't* require a buddy to watch a serial killer show?
You want to know the only way I am willing to watch such a show? 2 in the afternoon, all the windows open, armed, after I have checked every potential hiding spot. Because let's be honest, I know damn well what psychos are capable of and I do not feel like delving into their minds, however fictional, for damn sure not right before I try to go to sleep.

"She has very little make up on. He loves her like this, nerdy chic confident in herself comfortable in her skin."
1. Little or no makeup is preferable. Natural is attractive. Rock what you got.
2. I do find that little or no makeup often coincides with confidence in oneself, which is also attractive.
3. But of course, it'ls her call. Makeup, no makeup, whatever. Just don't cry to me when it's 110 out and you're melting, ladies.

Oh dear lord, she brought the whole clique.

"...best friend's girlfriend."
She's my best friend's girl...
...friend.

"You go do your doctor talk thing..."
I imagine they feel the same about your firefighter talk.

"Then the guy puts his hand on her leg where Liv has no sensation."
Not cool. Straight-up skeevey, y'ask me.

"We haven't done it there yet."
Reminds me of this flashbaack in "Desperate Housewives" where Carlos and Gaby were "christening" their new house - "Hey, babe, we haven't done it in the kitchen yet!" Or someplace, it was some room, I remember it being the kitchen.

While other chapters are nice in terms of just kind of rolling along with the various day-to-day misadventures of life, here we have a break from that that touches on several things.
For some reason, I detect a "most men are pigs" vibe. Thanks.
But it does kinda seem that way - every guy wants Liv, and look here's this guy who's really skeevey about it. Look, is he a doctor? Apparently. But he knows damn well she has no sensation where he touches and he touches anyway, it's not a glancing touch but a very deliberate thing - it feels like a power play, actually, a "HA HA! I can cross a clear boundary here and get away with it, and that's exactly what I intend to do" kinda thing. In another life, I've punched guys out for things like that.
Words are one thing. I'm not going to jail for words. Insult my lady, call her a bitch. It's a word, it's just air in motion, watch it bounce off.
Touching - especially in this taking-advantage kind of way where she has no way to respond because she can't detect it being done - that's a deliberate offense and it crosses not just a decency line but it crosses my line of what's worth going to jail over. (And let's be clear, it's not like I'll stomp dude - it's just that you can go to jail for one punch anymore.)

But then too - ok,
A. I did feel /think Severide was overly...I don't think he was actually possessive, but he definitely felt to me like he was marking his territory with that kiss, at least as you described it. Down, boy. Trust your woman.
B. However, he then handled the touching thing right, taking it to the jury (Liv). Argument, proof, case closed.

"You shouldn't leave me alone when we watch scary stuff..."
Or you could not watch scary stuff. I have found that to work well.
Guest chapter 12 . 10/19/2018
I do miss access to a swimming pool.

"...Liv shrugs feeling suddenly very chaste in her paisley print tankini."
I detect a slight bit of comparison at work, and I take Liv's side, even though I would bet part of her doesn't. There's something nice about not showing off.

"She watches and waits to see what Kelly will do."
I can't say why, but I liked this line. It feels...it's one of the very few times I'm absolutely thrust right into the moment of what's going on, and I just don't know why. I'm picturing the pool (though I'm probably picturing it darker than it is if she's able to read), I'm picturing Anna, I'm picturing Liv, I'm picturing how Liv feels in this moment.
I just like the whole scene.

It's a giant collection of moments, really. Which is what life is, so...there it is.
Nick chapter 11 . 10/19/2018
"She gets down to brass tacks."
Now I'm picturing them screwing on a bed of nails.

"I have a plan!" he gets up stark naked and walks into the bathroom. She hears Vivi scream but he comes back with their tooth brushes. "You're sister saw the goods." He said around his tooth brush. "We need our own place and I gotta rinse" She tells him."
Sorry, but I had to actually mentally dissect this one to figure out that not only was he brushing his teeth but she had begun brushing hers as well. It also feels like the world's fastest brush on her end, zero sense of long enough having passed for a good brush.

This is one of those things couples have to learn. Soon as you come to consciousness, get your ass up and go brush. Then get back in bed for whatever hanky-panky. Or else at least keep a bottle of mouthwash handy, like in the nightstand. (But not by your piece. Nobody likes going, "Reach for the sky!" and being laughed at because the only thing you're going to kill with what you grabbed is gingivitis.)

"Is that legal?"
Why does it matter?
Witness(es). Vows. Mean it with every fiber of your being from here to eternity. Bam. Done.
Nobody's damn business but ours, and fuck paperwork.

It was a good wedding with good emotional beats. Very good. The dialogue was good, especially the vows. And girl, you do nail your descriptions of what people are wearing or looking like, you're real good at those descriptions.
Guest chapter 10 . 10/18/2018
So...
Severide disappears at the start.
Liv gets the axe.
There is maybe wedding talk?
Some woman acts like a bitch.

And to top it off, like any good roller coaster we circle back to the beginning worries about Severide.

In case you missed it - good roller coaster.

I have nothing truly constructive, sorry. Your style is yours, it's very consistent, the pictures are sketched enough so the reader can fill in their own images, the actions are by and large described effectively enough and the emotions come through well.

"You're still talking, again shut your mouth, be quiet! I said shut up!"
If there is anything I have learned, it is do not defend yourself. Do not try to explain. Stand there and lump it. The prouder you are, the more defiant you are, the more you stick up, the more you will get hammered down until you finally stay down.
Nick chapter 9 . 10/18/2018
"...Slut bucket..."
HA HA!
But why do girls get to call each other things like that but they look at us weird when guys call each other dickhead and such?
I actually have a great idea. Let's all give up trying to understand each other and just let it roll.
"I don't understand you!"
"Nothing says you have to, so it's all good."

"...McFireballs..."
Fireball, drink!

When I visualize it, this is a pretty tense chapter. I mean, a nice little break in the middle, but the beginning and ending, yes tense.
"Lindsay said he had to have known a higher up."
Seriously, cue the, dun-dun-dunnnnnn!
Nick chapter 7 . 10/18/2018
Yup, definitely up to the reader to picture the quick moments between dialogue.

I assume this is rolling with specific episodes or show arcs as I'm completely lost some of the time. Beyond fashionably late to the party. Ah well, too late to turn back now, burn the bridge.

"Liv won't find her own jealousy as sweet and charming..."
Everybody has it, no one likes to admit it or have it pointed out.
There also is some weird double standard in which women are allowed to get...excessively forceful.

"...bones of the hand..."
Phalanges. Carpals. Metacarpals. That's all I remember. You know how people always say, I'll never use this stuff! Well on that class, I was right.

"...don't shove your alternative life style down my throat."
I would have to be in the specific situation to know what I would say concerning a gay couple. You want to hold hands or even kiss, fire away. But no, there is no need to show me pics. Go show them to Jimmy Mac, he likes showing what he gets up to and you can try to top each other. I'm just the driver, I get paid to go from point A to point B and that's it.
Key & Peele did some excellent material on the different angles of this topic. My personal favorite features the guy with the chip on his shoulder. There's always one - "Oh, I see, this is about me being..." Only he picked the wrong target.
I do not like that one guy. It's not about you being whatever - your name is right there on the chore board. We've all already taken out the trash, today is your turn, it says right there!

"...McFireballs..."
Fireball, drink!

You're very good at describing what you picture, it just seems to be more static things than dynamic things.

You're also very good at ending on
Nick chapter 6 . 10/18/2018
"Police sirens ring out..."
Shit, five-o! Scatter!

"Eh nothing much there's a cartel dude chopping people's heads off."
Anybody else hungry? I could go for a burger.

"Have sex with the man its good sex you called and told me."
That's not the most horrific run-on I've ever seen, but it's still a punctuation. Run-on is your friend.

"...and I can't remember why."
The whole fic could have just been them meeting, falling, this happens, and working past it - and it would be great.

"Never mind that I can't drink."
1. I'm sure they would find some other way of appreciation if you broached the subject.
2. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to drink. I have a mate with liver damage from malaria, it's related to the thing that got him PNG, he can't drink and it's not a big deal. I rarely drink anymore, also not a big deal. "Your buddy's drinking pineapple juice in a bar." And? Do go on, insult his character over a matter of alcohol, I'll enjoy seeing you lose yours as you hear some of what he went through. Being able or unable to drink has not a damn thing to do with character.

I understand firefighters are some brave guys. But I IDOLIZE pararescue jumpers.

I like the bit with the music in the waiting room. The opinion about the doctor, that she knows what music it is and that she can defend it, and I take both sides. I like classical music, and I do not like classical music. Sometimes I love listening to it. Sometimes hearing makes me want to gouge out my ears.
One of my favorite little historical tidbits concerns Beethoven's V and WW2.
It was just a good moment. The kind of thing that can happen. Doesn't always, but it can.

The ensuing argument was nice. I'd be a little protectively jealous, too. I like to think I wouldn't, as all guys do, but I probably would be on first meeting.

Firefighter. PJ. Soldier. Cop. It's even happened with manufacturing guys after a shop explosion. When you work in a dangerous profession, eventually there is a discussion about what happens. In the blink of an eye, you can die.

Damn your hide. Now I have 5 seconds of Enter Sandman on a repeating loop in my head.
Nick chapter 5 . 10/17/2018
Brothers & Sisters. That sounds familiar. I think the current equivalent is most likely "This Is Us".
I've been skimming "A Million Little Things". It seems to be about a group of friends in the aftermath of one of their own committing...killling...doing something I don't want to say to you. I can't decide whether I like it, but it does have two actors from shows I liked a lot.

"...Balthazar Getty."
*spits out drink* The name of the man who killed my father! *draws sword*

It's a shame kerfuffles can't always be interrupted by emergencies that make kerfuffles trivial.

"...touch me. Please..."
Probably not what author intended, but that did evoke something in me.
Emote?
No, emote is pitching, "evoke...in me" is catching. Evoke is the right word. I think...e is "out" or "from", voke would be "vocare", so "to call out of" - yes, is right word.

"On call room, break room, and your office floor."
Excuse me, yes - over here in the back - yes, I have a question. I thought this was Chicago Med, not Grey's Anatomy?

"...while stepping into his boots and tying the laces."
He then slides down the firefighter pole conveniently located in her room, to the first floor.

"...I'm not the marrying kind."
I have been told I have a complicated view of marriage, or what constitutes it. I think it's only complicated because of the system we live in. Fuck authority,

"...ultra-modern loft apartment."
One of the very funny things on tv is spaces are never as small as real life.

"...Adam Lambert..."
This is why I' try not to write too many pop culture references. This thing is a living fossil.

"Shut up Baby..."
Now put her in a corner.

I ran out of smartass.
So this was very good. A series of scenes with the common theme of progressing past what happened.
I feel bad for her. I often don't sleep well because in sleep past things like to say hi.
I actually like the way it flows. Every time I start to shrug, there's a new thing to say, No, this is only going to heal with time.
Nick chapter 4 . 10/17/2018
First scene, nice setuo.

"Sam Addams Amber Lager"
I'll have a Sam Jackson - "Motherf***r, that's a good motherf***in' choice!"

"...McFireballs."
Fireball, drink!

"He designed it and Casey built it...I did add the Christmas lights."
Such a unit. By circumstance I do all my own stuff. It has become a point of pride.

Rule 1 - no shop talk.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me."
Always easier said than done.

"Freakin' breeders."
Um...ah, never mind.

"Erin meet Kelly."
Well...you just blew what I've seen of PD so far out of the water.

"If you're here because you have a priapism..."
I can't decide if I should be worried because I understood that joke or not.

"...but you aren't the easiest guy to shop for..."
Technically speaking, anyone is easy to shop for. Pick a thing and buy it. It's only caring if they like it that makes it difficult.
While I'm thinking of it, before it flits away and something random takes its place - some people like thoughtful stuff. I'll take practical stuff any day of the week and twice on Sunday. "Got you a new torque set." "AWESOME!" However, even better than that - locate a gift and instead of buying it, do something good with that money. Give it to a good charity, or buy a toy and gift it to a kid who otherwise doesn't have toys. One World Play Project. Camp CAMP. Put that money to better use than me.

"No one was nice to me...and I survived."
It's good to be nice and get along, but you can't always count on it. You don't always get a pat on the back when you need it, you don't always get encouragement when you need it. Sometimes the only feedback you get is what you're doing wrong.
Nobody's going to wake you up for work. You have to do it yourself.
Nobody's going to encourage you. Motivate yourself.
Nobody's going to carry your weight for you. You have to rely on yourself.
Nobody cares. Harden the fuck up.

What the hell?
I get the cute break.
I get his caught-off-guard-ness at being told ILY.
I get her ensuing discomfort.
But straight from that to "Don't touch me!" *headscratch*

For every romance, there is always a thing over ILY. I'm sure of it.
Nick chapter 3 . 10/17/2018
"...but I had seriously scary thing for Dicaprio..."
Who looked like Kate Winslet could bench press him.

"If I didn't wanna get to the car quick I'd revoke your driving privileges!"
Someday I'll tell you about a guy named Josh and why this reminds me of him.

"Look now you're all punk."
It's adorable she thinks that has anything to do with it.

"...was watch soaps with me he bailed on number four."
It went like sands through the hourglass.

"...before that teeny bopper in the Nissan gets out and shanks your ass."
She can try, and she can die.
It's adorable how kids anymore think they're tough.

It's funny that he doesn't know what she keeps at his place.

Good progression and scenes of just regular life.
Nick chapter 2 . 10/16/2018
"Two outta three ain't bad..."
Maybe, but there ain't no coup deville hidin' at the bottom of a Crackerjack box.

"Mustache man..."
If you can call it that. I appreciate that it's within regs, but honestly, once you've seen Tom Selleck's 'stache, you're just less impressed by others.

"...I'm on my way."
Who was that masked woman?!

"Well do you?"..."That night in bed..."
Apparently he knows what she looks like naked, so there's that.

I like this -
"The Grayne's are a godsend to a lot of kids. They take in a lot of special needs foster kids."
Slightly redundant, could have been either one sentence or else just "The Graynes are a godsend. They take in a lot of special needs foster kids." but whatever. People are often redundant when they speak, so it's not like a big thing.
So a long time ago in another life, I used to volunteer working with disabled kids in the summer at a camp. There was a guy we called The Judge. Him and his wife couldn't have kids so they had decided to adopt, the line was real long, it was shorter for special needs kids so they went that way and never bothered to stop. Last I remember, they had 14 special needs kids they had adopted. Had this huge E350 van that would come rolling up and you would have thought he had his own army, the doors opened and people just began flowing out. Dude was downright cool.
I doubt you will like this, but my heroes have always been people like Billy the Kid and Clay Allison.
But on the list as well at this point are guys like The Judge and Ryan Boyette.

"...I like brussel sprouts..."
Pobody's nerfect.

"I listen to heavy metal when I'm sad."
Subgenre? Band? Is it what civilians call metal but isn't, like when that one chick was all, "I don't like heavy metal" but she was talking about Hendrix?

"I like your hair down."
Hair down is good. Rock what you got.

If I were a saint sort of person, my patron saint would be St. Jude.
Alas, I am not. YOYO.

What?! Not one person likes mint chocolate chip? Blasphemers!

"...and I like to drink Shinerbock when I'm sad."
First, it's Shiner Bock.
Second - bruh/ BRUH! Bless you, child, TEXAS BEER FOR THE WIN!
Third - yeah, that's Texas pride speaking. I don't drink much Shiner. I don't drink much domestic. I do like things like Fat Tire and Arrogant Bastard (because I then get to walk through the store bawling, "Everybody watch out, Arrogant Bastard coming through!") but eisbock is where it's at, bro. 16%! You keep your kinda-beer-tasting water, gimme me damn eisbock! I don't drink much, having left it behind, but there is nothing so awesome after 110-degree workday like a cold 16% beer. Go out on the deck and watch the sun go down and just let that cold nectar of life cool you down. Yeah boy!

"...pumpkin lattes."
Damn you.

If the first chapter was intro, this is good continuation, establishes they're comfortable with each other, establishes if you don't skim that he has something of a history with the fairer sex, establishes so on and so forth. Very good.
Nick chapter 1 . 10/15/2018
"...a little help would be nice."
As it always is.

"A red head..."
Oh, dear.

From rescue to dating. That's...fast.

You move quick, generally letting the reader fill in most details. I bet the really detailed stuff is the stuff you consider most important for the reader to visualize. That was actually really great during the fire, moving things along quickly kept the intensity up.

"...please god no fast food."
Fast food is no good for a date. Dates should be nice, not convenient. Though...maybe? First responders and docs never know when an emergency will go all-hands-on-deck.
Beyond that, it's never a good idea to try to deny me my Wendy's.
Guest chapter 40 . 9/6/2018
Really like the parts that feel like a parallel version of the series, but in later chapters it feels like it's moved away from that.

But this story is why I started watching Chicago Fire, thank you.
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