Reviews for The Systems Alliance Order of Battle : Officer Edition
Efeye chapter 3 . 11/15/2017
Very impressive work, shows you have really thought this universe through. But I think a more badass name for the first mindoir armor brigade would be "never forgive", to better reflect their self defence genocide attitude regarding Batarians.
Skadarken chapter 9 . 9/14/2016
THE BEST DOCUMENTATION OF A FICTIONAL SPACE SOCIETY I HAVE EVER READ ON ANY MEDIUM EVER!
Thanks for a great one.
Skadarken chapter 8 . 9/14/2016
Typos:
Class O Immigrant: Open to: 25k cr free.
*It should be 25k cr fee*

Class III Citizenship:
Second para: Class II citizens bear a heavier burden of supporting the SA.
*It should Class III citizens*
Guest chapter 3 . 5/8/2016
Majors wear gold oak leaves, Lt. Colonels wear silver. Eagles are worn by "Bird" Colonels
Dude chapter 3 . 2/27/2016
What bugs me is how you utilize miniguns/Gatling style guns as modern day forces use auto cannons.

The mini gun has six barrels and high rates of fire from 3000 to 6000 rounds a minute. The high rates of fire are used to fire a burst of thirty rounds, nearly instantaneously. In effect, most Gatling style weapons used in aircraft and anti air defenses, to pepper the target in bullets and increase hit chance(do note that I believe this is the case because most aircraft have drum mags of only five hundred rounds. The A-10 carried 1000 rounds at most and that's a dedicated ground attack craft).

While your DACT suits carry a minigun, with the fire rate dialed down, 200 rounds a minute is way too low. You'd be able to fire stuff all day with no problem, because heating and stress will be spread across multiple barrels. I think that a simpler and more easy to maintain weapon will do the job, such as a chain gun- weapons that APCs today use.

In the end of the day, it is your fic, but some things done for coolness don't sound so cool when I know why certain things are done in real life the way they are.

Anyways
scorpioneldar chapter 1 . 4/27/2015
intersting detail here i can see that some things are just a bit off (any commissariat worries me and i doubt we got the full detail on those class 1 colony's) very propaganda but pretty sufficient knowledge to
i can see some of the IMPERIUM influence in here but over all this actually seems to be a better humanity than depicted in Warhammer 40K
hopefully i can actually root for us this time around
StarSerpent chapter 5 . 9/22/2014
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't carriers the same length as Dreadnoughts (it's Dreadnought with an 'o' not an 'a,' the Americans AND Brits both referred to it as DREADNOUGHT after the Brit's super-battleship HMS Dreadnought, the only known Dreadnaught being some kind of USN Ship that wasn't a dreadnought if my memory is to be believed)?

A USN Supercarrier can carry about 70 or so fighters (again, if memory is to be believed), and they're about 300-400m long. Doesn't this imply that Carriers used by the SA would have hundreds of fighters? Or maybe this doesn't count bombers?
SirCxyrtyx chapter 1 . 6/6/2014
Absolutely fascinating stuff. You've painted quite a dark picture of your SA. Wouldn't want to live in it, but I love reading about it.
Progman chapter 4 . 12/10/2013
...why is the Villa still in Rio? Didn't Brazil get wiped off the face of the Earth during that whole Ardiente(sp?) thing?

Still, glorious amount of information. The Silver Heart was a touch that stood out to me.

And how, holy crap, I didn't realize that Shepard should be considered a freaking NOBLE at this point. I knew she was restricted, but this is ridiculous! Someone let her buy some stock in Elkoss Combine! D:
Progman chapter 6 . 12/10/2013
"Unknown recruit training master chief". Boy oh boy, that soldier sure does sound familiar. In fact he, sounds just like Master Chief Co- ME. Seriously can't stop laughing. Feel free to use anything I give you, man.

That is also another reason why Cole shouldn't die. Apparently, he is a conduit for funny things that I write at four in the morning.

Carnifex is best gun. It basically has a starring role in-canon. Anderson knew it, Saren knew it twice, Mordin knew it twice, Tela Vasir knew it, Kaidan knew it, Ashley knew it, Garrus knew it, CloneShep knew it, and somehow even Shepard knew it.

You can't just use ANY gun to blow up Reapers. You need a gun that is more gun than the next two guns. You need a Carnifex. With explosive rounds. Guaranteed to live up to it's name, or your money back! [No refunds accepted]

Oh, and did not know the CROSSFIRE was just the Argus. Neat!
Michael1110 chapter 9 . 12/8/2013
1. / "(Adams)" and "(Liara)"
Are they in some way a special case because for everything else no other crew member of the Normandy was mentioned.
2. "Unified Neo-Catholic Church of Christ"
Interesting new name ; D
3. "Hot-lock: manually input firing solution, not computer assisted. Also called "eyeballing it". Not recommended with mass accelerator weapons."
: D
4. "Happy Tank: tanks that contain ships O2, water, etc"
"Lava Soap Job: using the ships air systems to recycle the air on a planet where the atmosphere smells good."
haha : D
5. "Warp Magic"
Interesting : )
6. "AT&T"
: D
7. Omni-tool attack nicknames : D
8. "Welcome Wagon: ironic nickname for RIU"
: D
9. "Butcher's Pets"
: /
10. "chop-box: medical bay"
xD
11. "Since most planets are close to the system's star, littoral combat is the most demanding on heat systems and leads to short fights."
Good : )
12. "Alien References"
: D
Michael1110 chapter 8 . 12/8/2013
1. ""As long as I live, I will never forget that day nineteen years ago when I raised my hand and took the oath of citizenship. Do you know how proud I was? I was so proud that I walked around with an SA flag around my shoulders all day long, and its blue and my own were as one." - Thena Nasias, first sworn-in asari citizen of the Systems Alliance"
Urgh : S Wonder what she was so proud about ; D
2. "In practice, most people had their rights ignored, trampled upon by mega-corporations, or trivialized by government corruption."
And this changed how? XD
3. "We will never cheapen that sacrifice, or use it for cheap political gain."
Right.
4. Having to buy oneself a place up in the class system. Aliens even more so.
5. "interview with the Commissariat"
I am sure that's fun ; D
6. "250K fee a year for non-military or non-Sol natives."
Wonder who's even able to afford that xD
7. "CITIZENSHIP RESTRICTIONS"
: S
8. "An ACF can be executed at will by the Commissariat."
How nice : S Crime rates should be very low with all this but aren't I am guessing
9. Not being able to ascend to higher classes as well ever increasing restitution tax for ACs : S
10. "Article I: right to self-determination (freedom from slavery), right to religious freedom, right to life"
XD
11. "Laws under the SA Charter"
I don't like that distribution of rights in any way, but I understand where it's coming from : S
12. "Laws under the Citadel Charter"
At least we have that ; D
Michael1110 chapter 7 . 12/8/2013
1. ""The great majority of humans do not know much about most alien cultures, but nonetheless fear them all as violent, morally bankrupt, sexually deviant, expansionist and hostile to our society and way of life. Sadly, most aliens look at humanity in the same light. The problem to overcome is not hatred, but ignorance." – Princess Aleesia Manwell, 'On our cousins the Asari'"
: )
2. "the asari are our closest kin, the only aliens in this galaxy that we can fully trust."
Well in that case XD Yep plan working
3. "Commissariat Advisory: Maintain good relations with this species at all cost."
Good advicement XD
4. The Salarian scores are completely wrong ; P
5. Quite interesting how the SA officially views ME Aliens and what the Reader currently thinks he knows of them via the main story : )
6. "Elcor favor explosives and ion weaponry, and light suits of powered armor. Their fleet, while small, is well-built and extremely well trained."
Good : )
7. "severed and good riddance"
"Commissariat Advisory: Shoot first. Remember Mindoir."
XD
8. "The VDF is surprisingly vicious and well trained for such peaceful creatures."
: )
9. "the SA is seriously considering entering into discussions with the quarians to give them a planet."
"The SA is in the process of formal alliance discussions with the quarian admiralty."
Interesting : )
10. Vorcha: "Danger: alpha (laughable)"
Poor creatures ; D
11. "Dispose of them as needed. One cannot murder cockroaches."
How considerate ; D
12. "Most require anti-tank weapons to kill. This is not a typo."
: D
13. "The Commissariat and AIS are very interested in the capture of one of these beings for a polite chat."
They do like their polite chats haha : D
14. How exactly can the SA have relations with the Rachni I wonder... ; D
Michael1110 chapter 6 . 12/8/2013
1. More good speeches here : D
2. "The Systems Alliance military equips its brave Marines with the best gear that we can."
haha XD
3. "Don't you wish Carnifex was at your side?"
: D
4. "NO exceptions will be approved."
hehe ; D
5. Description of known Weapons/Armor/Utilities, additions to them as well "completely" new ones : )
6. "It is nearly impossible to duplicate, as it uses Fabrication Rights Management (FRM) technology."
Urgh, there too? xD
7. "While we continue to try to upgrade and improve the armor suits you are issued, the SA is aware our armor ratings are much lighter than the armor worn by other alien military units, and even some elite mercenary units. That being said, Marine training emphasizes mobility defenses, agile offensive tactics, and proper use of cover that should mitigate any issues."
haha, simply delicious XD
Michael1110 chapter 5 . 12/8/2013
1. Khalisah al-Jilani's speech : D
2. "Alliance Ecological Studies Service: Scientists attempting to restore the damage done to Earth's ecology, particularly in the former Third World."
Important field, but mostly for nothing with what's in store... : /
3. "The pre-designed names mean that , even in the event of complete leadership failure, even junior officers can refer to standardized operational guidelines and continue the activity as planned."
Good : )
4. More variety for Weapons that SA Naval Vessels use
5. "and is heavily restricted within Citadel space."
Not for long ; D
6. "Fighters are found on almost every SA ship, even only one or two."
Interesting : )
7. SA excelling with fighters and why other races don't.
8. Very detailed description of all the Naval Vessels of the SA : )
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