|Reviews for Eternity in an Hour|
| hc.dbz.chickie chapter 4 . 4/27
Damn... Hermione will definitely get blisters turning that enough times to get back far enough. That being said, I don't usually ship Dramione, but your fic is beautifully written, as well as in-character, so perhaps I'll delve more into that pairing :). I have to be honest- even though it explained the story, I found the history bit quite dry- but overall a good fic. I wonder how it'll go between them this time...
| SusanMarieS chapter 4 . 3/27
I really like time turners. Wonderful job with this one.
| ReillyJade chapter 1 . 4/18/2014
Okay, here's the thing. I'm totally a Romione girl. Always have been, always will be. That said, I've always had a soft spot for Dramione. (Not sure if I'm allowed to ship both, but I'm a rebel. Sue me. :p) The problem is, roughly 90% of Dramione fics I come across have some sort of Ron-bashing thrown in as a method of justifying the Dramione pairing. So the first thing I'd like to applaud you for is not doing that. Thank you for not ignoring the fact that Ron and Hermione were friends, and -whoa!- are actually still friends! It's refreshing to see that in a Dramione fic for a change.
Considering the pairing isn't canon, you still did a great job keeping everyone in-character. Draco in particular I found to be very convincing. He's no Prince Charming, and a lot of Dramione writers tend to forget that. Even his change of heart post-war wouldn't (and shouldn't) completely alter who is is at the core. I really enjoyed that while you did mature him, you still kept his cynicism and snark.
The historical references are wonderful. You obviously did a lot of research, and I really appreciate when an author takes the time to make things as accurate as possible in a story. This isn't done nearly enough in fan fiction, I'm afraid, so definitely keep this up in future writing. It makes the story a million times more believable.
Another thing I really liked was the fact that while this was a story about a pairing, the pairing didn't dominate the story... if that makes sense? The romance was something that /added/ to the plot rather than consumed it. Draco and Hermione were still their own people and weren't completely dependent upon one another; the fact that they were together was an added bonus.
Overall, this was an intriguing, original story that I enjoyed immesely. Thank you so very much for sharing it with us in the Showcase! :D
| MissingMommy chapter 4 . 4/14/2014
This was rather interesting. The idea of a curse that powerful is cool. I like how you dealt with it. I have to admit that I think the section where it was set in the past was a little unnecessary, but it would've been better placed at the beginning of your story. Having a section like that in the middle of the chapter disrupted the flow and I spent most of the section trying to figure out if I was reading the right story.
I was also confused by the ending. Hermione managed to go back. Did she manage to save everything?
But I really liked your characterization of Hermione. And her parents were really lovely. I loved how you incorporated them into the story.
Overall, nicely done.
| GarGoyl chapter 4 . 4/8/2014
I must say, before anything else, that I picked this story because of the pairing – I am a Draco/Hermione fan through and through! So I read all of it. I’ve always enjoyed stories which explore Draco’s good side, however deep it may be buried, because it’s definitely there. In the beginning you gave a short but meaningful insight into that – his ‘abhorrence to needless loss of life’, as part of his ultimately sensitive nature. Yep, I totally agree, he is a mostly misunderstood character – just like you mentioned.
The association between the wizarding world and the ancient history in chapter 1 is really original, especially with referring to the expansion of the Roman Empire. I see you inserted some real historical characters into that – such as Scipio and Hasdrubal – kudos for that, it definitely gives the story a vibe of ‘authenticity’ and makes the plot more ‘plausible’ and logical. I also like how the whole action (Aulus’ attack on what was left of Carthage) is described, quite vividly, with plenty of detail and you clearly did your homework on Roman tactics ;) As the whole plot gradually revealed itself along the unwinding of history, one can see it’s very well thought of!
I like the resemblance you pointed in chapter 2 between Harry and Dumbledore, I really think it’s fitting and they were alike, yes, sharing the same resignation and the same “what must be done must be done” attitude in a (very slightly) exasperating manner…:)
Hermione’s visit to Edinburgh is sort of heartbreaking, at least in my opinion. It’s very sad to see her – still a young woman who would otherwise have had her whole life ahead of her – remembering her good times like a person who has lived a lifetime.
“It turned out that knowing it was inevitable was quite different to the reality of it” – so true!
Oh wow! I never anticipated the Time-Turner twist, excellent! (I had completely forgotten about it from the books). And the last chapter made me smile, they were back to square one, so to say, but things were full of hope now. All in all, a lovely story, very well and maturely written, I enjoyed all of it! Great job!
| keeptheotherone chapter 4 . 3/28/2014
And there it is-success but with the same frustrating lack of details that would so have annoyed Hermione :) I like how you left the ending open as to how their friendship/relationship develops.
A wonderfully creative and imaginative story, well-executed-thanks for including it in the Showcase!
| keeptheotherone chapter 3 . 3/28/2014
I really, really liked Hermione and Draco's goodbye; despite very little in this story on their relationship, it feels dramatic and epic and /real/. I also loved Hermione's characterization here: her determination, her realism, the traces of grim humor, the way she makes time for her parents even though they're not really what she's focused on, the way she plunged herself into this project completely although the results could be disastrous, both globally and personally. That "throw caution to the winds for a worthy cause" is the most Gryffindor thing about her.
But I'm a little worried about what it means that she doesn't remember seeing her future self ... is that good or bad?
| keeptheotherone chapter 2 . 3/28/2014
I loved the conversation between Hermione and Harry-so beautifully in character for both of them, both Harry's stoic pragmatism and Hermione's stubborn refusal to give up. I also appreciated the scene between her and Ron, as I think it's important not to disregard their childhood friendship even when people pair them with someone else later. I must admit, Lucius's noble gesture to die alone surprised me a bit, but now I'm really curious as to what the bees have prompted Hermione to do. Losing her mind won't be quite like anyone else losing theirs...
| keeptheotherone chapter 1 . 3/28/2014
Wow, what an intriguing start! You've obviously done a lot of research and even more creative thinking to set up the plot, and I'm interested to see where you go with it.
| Edhla chapter 4 . 3/24/2014
Sorry to "hog" you this evening, but I really needed to find out what happens in the end as soon as possible :)
Something quite subtle but very clever here is your shift from "Draco" (as per the POV of the Hermione who is his girlfriend) and "Malfoy" (as per the POV of the Hermione who is definitely not.) Their cross banter about French seems both realistic and heartbreakingly trivial considering the circumstances that they are now under in the "real" timeframe.
[Unlike you I'm] I would put a comma after "you" here, but punctuation is not my forte.
How telling that Hermione forgot about "Excellence." I also really liked the characterisation both of Percy (as per the way Malfoy sees him, anyway) and Malfoy himself with that bit of snark.
Nice, subtle humour there with the "occasional explosion" :) I liked how you outlined the shift in how Hermione sees the Department of Ministries.
The childish little game of pretending the other isn't even there... again, such a painfully petty thing for so serious a background situation.
At first I was surprised to find this at the end, but the more I think about it, the more I appreciate the muted, life-goes-on-in-an-ordinary-way sense you've given it. You don't spell it out, and you lead the reader rather than shove the denouement down their throat. It's left me pondering deeply about parallel universes and such, but messing with time in fiction always makes me do that :)
Another excellent story. Write me another x
| Edhla chapter 3 . 3/24/2014
Oh, this is going to disturb me... at 3AM. Why must I do this to myself?! :p
I forgot to say last chapter... Lucius wandering off to die alone and spare the rest of the family as much as possible gave him an admirable dignity I so rarely see in fanfic, where he's either Leatherpantsed or made out to be an irredeemable villain who kicks puppies for fun.
The tea-warming spell is such a nice little touch... amid all this death, Hermione is warming a cup of tea. I really want her to save the day at the last second, but I'm doubtful of it.
The line about her having PTSD was chilling in its matter-of-factness, and makes so much sense. The war wasn't an adventure, it was... well, war.
Draco as intelligent as Hermione? Oh, say it isn't *quite* so :p I'm sure he's not an idiot, but I'm protective of Hermione's smarts, for a person who hardly ever touches canon :p
[Draco was mourning...] I absolutely love the sentiment here, but felt the tail-end of this sentence was a little too long.
[his girlfriend] While perfectly correct, I felt the expression here was a bit out of synch with the action; I'm not sure how to explain it, except that it emphasised the romantic attachment where I felt Draco would react this way to anyone at all proposing what Hermione is up to.
I feel like a genius, because I'd thought of the time-turner. While I know canon emphasises that you can't muck about with time too much, I still find it a Rowling plotfail that time-turners are never used again and mysteriously got rid of once their use in one plot gambit had finished... go back in time and suffocate Tom Riddle at birth, someone :p
I was surprised that Draco is so upset at the idea of his and Hermione's possibly never being together now... they won't be if they're dead, either... it just seemed an odd priority.
"My darling." I'm not sure which of them has this line. It seems a little maudlin for either, as they strike me as deeply pragmatic people in a crisis, but again, you know fandom way more than I do.
Time travel paradoxes do my head in, but I'll believe you that Hermione could get stuck between paradoxes... I assume she won't, but her fear is well-founded and a great way to end the chapter xx
| Edhla chapter 2 . 3/23/2014
I liked the inclusion of Hermione's parents here - they serve as an everyman muggle stand-in for the reader and remind us of how deeply unusual the wizarding world is. And I also like that her mother forgave her for deleting her memories and sending her to the other side of the world (there are a number of questions I have about that canonical event, but they'll keep)
That Ron can now sort of tolerate Malfoy's presence now speaks to the years that have gone by and the maturity he's gained. I feel like Ron gets a lot of flak in canon for behaving like a teenage boy when he is, in fact, a teenage boy.
I'm with Harry on this one - a disease everyone will get and everyone will die from is pretty good cause to, you know, just give up. I can see why the ministry are lying to people about the possibility of a cure. As you pointed out, people in a mass panic make things worse. I'm surprised there wasn't more mention of the other way out - suicide before dying of a horrible disease - but assume that sort of thing might be dealt with later.
Fantastic little inclusion of Harry's eye "twitching helplessly." Very nice, subtle characterisation there.
That one interlude, consisting of two sentences, was brilliant - even as shaky canonically as I am, I knew where she would go and what it would mean.
Ron's characterisation there seems really strong, too. Everyone reacts in different ways to impending doom, and what "wasting your time" means. I can't see the Ron I'm familiar with using a word like "conceive" in that sense, but you're a lot stronger in canon than I am :) And lord, thank you for not demonising Ron, and pointing out he has considerable guts when it comes down to it.
Beautiful description of Edinburgh... am I correct in assuming it is a place you also love? :) The cobblestones and clear cold skies are really vividly described.
"The bees were dying." Oh, God. And then the coughing echoing through the house... I feel like hiding behind a sofa. This is so good, but I'm kind of afraid to read on at the same time. But beautiful work x
| Muggle Jane chapter 4 . 3/20/2014
This was absolutely fantastic, and I wish ffnet would let me copy/paste. The line about Draco mourning what could have been was just brilliant. I've never read anything about Carthage in HP fanfic before, so that was interesting to see! Very well-written, the pacing was excellent, the characters seemed very true to themselves. I have nothing critical to say about this at all, you rock my socks.
| JanieNine chapter 1 . 3/13/2014
I really liked this story, mostly the historical connections present. I know that I'll never be a history major, simply because I'm not interested enough in what happened in the past (I'm more of a current events and in the last century type of a gal), but this was really good! Kept my interest, certainly. I'll probably continue reading onward, which is not usual for me with a Dramonie story.
Also, I love the disease bit! I'm a huge fan of studying epidemics, pandemics, and the like. I love looking for origins, causes of disease spread, etc. So this story was super interesting to me.
The last thing I really liked was that you didn't have Draco get rid of that cynicism. I like that he changed partway but not all the way. It gets really annoying for me to read a converted Draco who is simply too converted to be believable.
| autumn midnights chapter 4 . 3/10/2014
I love the snark between Hermione and Draco. I'm a sucker for banter and sarcasm, and you wrote it so well here. I can definitely imagine them snarking at one another as adults working together - because even if Draco has reformed a bit, he'll never be 100% nice and sweet - and I think you did a wonderful job of keeping them both in-character. I love Draco's comment about Percy, especially, and how even Hermione can't stop herself from being amused by that one.
I really like how things came full circle here - how Hermione and Draco are going to have the chance to start over again. I usually hate DracoHermione, to be honest, but I enjoyed the story so much, and I really love your writing style, and I was able to overlook my usual opinion of the pairing. As in other chapters, your writing style is very good - it's very eloquent, and it flows well.
The only thing I have to criticize about this chapter is that it was short - I really wish you had included more detail about Hermione jumping back in time, about her stopping the project that let the curse loose, etc.
This was truly an amazing story, though. I really enjoyed reading this!