|Reviews for Sand Castles|
| nevergone4ever chapter 11 . 9/24/2015
| nevergone4ever chapter 1 . 8/17/2015
lov u mack ahhahahahaah
| jacob1106 chapter 19 . 1/3/2015
this was sweet :)
| bobothebear chapter 18 . 12/30/2014
I was pretty sure Azure would be the first to go, but it was sad nonetheless. She's always been a front-runner and a crowd favorite, and it was hard to see her go. ;_; Nieve wasn't my favorite out of this batch, if I'm honest. I've always liked her, but Azure has been a steady favorite, and Venera grew on me at the end. Her development with Vespera was great, and it built a lot of character for her.
And we have Venera. At the beginning, I was sure that she'd be one of the earlier Career deaths, but I'm glad that she wasn't. She was resolute, and if nothing else, a fighter. Going in, she wasn't my favorite to win, but looking back, I can't see Azure or Nieve as good of a Victor as Venera is.
My Lockdown form is already finished, but idk if I should send it now or wait? Well! It'll be in soon, whenever.
Alright! See you soon!
| jacob1106 chapter 18 . 12/29/2014
hey! nice freaking job! I'm proud you finished! and did a damn good job too!
I admit I was hoping for Azure but I can't really complain I just loved how she died she was very small and tiny after all, but still loved her. I'm not crazy about venera as victor but I think she deserves it, the girl who killed fenby and the girl who killed Nieve are two completely different people that being said, did she throw her training session? she must have! she took down only people with higher scores, 5, 6, 8, and 10! intense!
as a whole I loved the story, obviously. I will be working on another district 10 male (why not right ? xD) and loved it.
| blangreck chapter 18 . 12/28/2014
Aye, it's sad to see an amazing story finally come to and end. I apologize for slacking off with reviews regarding the last couple of chapters. I've been reading, just haven't had the discipline to review.
This finale was great, and it certainly had me enticed; I honestly couldn't tell who would win. In lots of other stories, the victor is usually apparent, but here, I saw any of the three girls winning. I really liked the battle between Azure and Venera, and at one point I actually expected Azure to win. But you're always full of surprises, which is great.
Then Nieve's point of view almost had me convinced she would win, especially with that last second effort that could have killed Venera. I'm glad you didn't take that cliche ending, and I'm content with Venera as the victor. She has shown a LOT of development and always seemed one of the most determined to win. Azure was pretty capable, but her development as a character was almost nonexistent. Nieve ultimately lost in a coin toss, I believe.
Your writing is truly one of the best on this website. This story has been a fun read, and despite the last few chapters seeming a bit rushed (I can understand your motive), you still managed to keep the plot moving and interesting. I will definitely be submitting to Lockdown.
Can't wait for your next work!
| Cashmere67 chapter 16 . 12/28/2014
This is astonishing, astounding, surprising, stunning, staggering, shocking, startling, stupefying, breathtaking, awesome, awe-inspiring, sensational, remarkable, spectacular, stupendous, phenomenal, extraordinary, incredible, unbelievable, mind-blowing, jaw-dropping, and wondrous
| Cashmere67 chapter 17 . 12/28/2014
Wait I'm actually not done with reviewing. I want to quell something.
I think that Nieve was the predictable Victor choice.
Azure was the obvious Victor.
Venera was the underdog and was the wild-card.
Other Victors for me included Amelithe and Jorah.
No, I'm not really saying that. When judging my tributes or reviewing them, I always lose all bias and am more impartial.
Nieve underwent the most development - to me, anyway. With Vespera and everything, I thought she had the fight and determination in her to win. Azure underwent little to no development. Venera underwent a lot, actually; she was empowered throughout the whole story and yeah with her insecurities idk you talk about it in the last chapter.
WHy am i reviewing this i dot know but to me nieve was predictable and so was azure am i defending venera winning maybe not really but ok bye
| Cashmere67 chapter 18 . 12/28/2014
You really don't understand how much I look forward to your stories. For some reason, I was always drawn to your writing-style and how you wrote the stories. Like, beginning with POVs from mentors and the creativity of the prologues. Plus, you're so attentive with details and care so much for the littlest things and that's such a good quality to have in an author. I'm showering you with compliments right now, but seriously, I love your work and your writing is in my Top Three Favorites of All Time Ever in my Whole Lifetime. You win an award for this stuff. Seriously. Your writing is so advanced and so mature and so complex and you always have so many twists within it and always do the unexpected.
I can't. I really can't. I. Can't.
I've never been this serious or genuine with anything, okay. Being so real rn.
Should I get to the actual chapter? I suppose. I could go on and on. And on. And on.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
I absolutely have loved Azure throughout this story. Although, I'll admit, she was more of a Capitol-based personality and as the Games went on, she lost her pizzazz and unique standing in the story. She was a favorite at one point, but she was a strong Career, so I can see why she was there. I never saw her as having potential for Victor, though. She still had the edginess to her and her vain attitude. Always about the show and how Panem saw the Finale. She was very confident throughout the story, and when she went after Nieve, I figured she'd die. I liked her final descriptions of the arena because it set the stage for the Finale and I'm glad she narrated that all because I would be upset if Nieve or Venera did... She didn't do much in her POV, so. She was always deluded as well and I enjoyed her humor. She made me laugh, yep, so I looked forward to her in the Finale.
... Then Venera.
she gud ? she ok ?
She still has her sarcasm. 'Lucky me,' yeah. Lucky you, beb. I like her thought process especially; the way she goes over each tribute and assesses them, saying it's a guess. I like it for some reason. She was always a thoughtful character, despite all of those previous insecurities, and was always level-headed and not overly confident or cocky to analyze the situation and the others. She was really aggressive, but is it surprising? Not really. This is Venera we're talking about here. It was such a gruesome death and Venera didn't even feel a ping of regret or guilt (for now, that is). I liked her interaction with Nieve because I think it showed that both of these girls were determined and weren't going to let the other intimidate them? Venera kept up her sassy attitude, as did Nieve. Venera really is beginning to lose her mind, with the giggling and everything, but that's her. I love it. She's so patronizing, which shows some ego, but she's made it this far, so, I think it's allowed. I was SO excited to see this fight go down.
The fight was amazing. I'll talk about your fight scenes afterwards. I loved the dialogue weaved in throughout the fight; it was realistic and distracted them enough. Once again, they were both still very snappy and didn't want to show any fear to the other. It was an intense, fast-paced fight that I literally so involved in. I felt like I was there, you know? Once again, Venera didn't back down... She's so unfazed by it all. She was just as vicious and aggressive with Nieve, not caring how she killed her or how it went down. She really just wanted to win at this point. UGH. Then Nieve said her good-byes and whatever... I could imagine Venera just sitting there laughing to herself like "ya ok stfu now". It was amazing. Nieve, don't even bother, you were legit dead either way. Venera dragged it out and I love that. It shows that Venera was confident that she was going to win - and by her sitting across from her crossed-legged. THAT IS SO GOOD. And funny. Venera, yo.
Venera. Veneraaaaaaaa. VENERA.
YOUR FIGHT SCENES, MACK. AMAZING. Capital everything.
They're full of detail, fast-paced enough and are prolonged at the right moments, and are realistic. I love the detail and the words you put in fight scenes. Like, it's not always punch, kick, or slap. Or whatever, okay. Some people rush death scenes (I won't mention names) and it's just like, "that's it?" Your writing doesn't leave me wanting more - well, it does, but it's satisfying as well. It doesn't leave me wanting more in the best way possible, yeah, it's a compliment. Your fight scenes are my favorite out of anyone on Fanfiction and I really mean it. I could go on and on once again.
Your so good with surprises too. You do the unexpected and just. Keep me on my toes. Like, with Amelithe. That's just one really good example.
Am I happy with who is Victor?
.. Yes. 100%. 10/10. A. YES.
Thoughts on the story as a whole? AMAZING.
EVERYTHING IS AMAZING.
Side-note; I like the contrast between Trance's Finale and victory and Venera. Trance was more emotional, but Venera is just erratic and seemingly shameless. I can't wait to see the Prologue because I know it will be amazing. Trance's was one of my favorite chapters ever on Fanfiction and I go back to read some parts of it some time.
Your writing is so nice. It's legit beautiful and I would read anything you wrote - even if it was a 100,000 word story describing my flaws and why everyone hates me. Anything. It could be Katniss' life and I would read it. Or the murders of Cashmere and Glimmer and Marvel and Gloss.
idk what im saying wow
I literally am obsessed with your stories and your writing and it's SO unhealthy but I don't care ok.
I hope this doesn't get cut off bye you are amazing
| jakey121 chapter 18 . 12/28/2014
Yeah, I’m really sad ok. I saw the form on your profile yesterday and it’s already filled in. I’ll send it to you when the story is published, you probably don’t want submissions before they’re actually open!
Anyway, a review from me? What? Huh? Yeah I’m so sorry I’ve sucked with reviewing this, let’s hope I’m better at the next one.
Azure: So my first opinions of her were always great, she stood out based on the very thing you mentioned- so many Careers were serious (except for Lapis, who took the whole lighthearted thing in a totally irritating direction) and Azure had the right balance between being skilled enough to get the job done, and a humour that was endearing. She lost it a bit, but the fight has always been there, and it was made clear here which is why, I was sort of rooting for her. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure who I wanted to win. Amelithe was my choice for Victor, then she died, and I’ve been supporting Nieve. So I guess Azure was my second choice, but I still wanted her to win as well, so I have no idea?
Venera: She has a sassy edge which is quite interesting, mixed with the fact she’s ruthless but not exactly like a bad person, just sort of tuned into the fact she has to give more of a show and it comes across- or I’m wrong and she’s a bad bitch. Hm. But anyway, that was violent, poor Azure. Something about head injuries gives me a chill, the breaking nose thing reminded me of this movie where a guy’s nose was caved in by a glass bottle, idk, yeah it was vivid which is great, but horrific, which is also great. It’s the Hunger Games! But yeah, although Venera has never been my favourite, I admire her spirit, and the fact she made it this far compared to Sebastian is a great middle finger to that asshole wherever he is now.
Nieve: UGH, I wasn’t sure if you were gonna go down a quite typical route where she actually did manage to overpower Venera at the end with the stone, something which yeah, as I said does happen a lot. You think you know the Victor, think its all done and dusted, and wham, they’re dead and the underdog makes it out. I’m kind of happy that didn’t happen? Because honestly, as much as I liked Nieve, Venera showed the most personality mixed in with the action and honestly kind of deserved it after giving them a show that was well fought. I do like Nieve though, the whole firebomb thing was as badass as what Venera could do, the idea of her chucking them and people dodging, or in Jorah’s case, failing to dodge, was great fun! But I will miss Nieve, she had something about her which makes sense as to why she made it this far.
Am I happy with the Victor?- Granted she wasn’t my favourite. But I did admire her, and my admiration can carry on into liking her I guess! So yes, I am happy.
Overall thoughts?- I think you might have realised this cause you mentioned the fact you’re changing the format of POVs and stuff, so it was admittedly hard to connect with a lot of tributes because some didn’t appear until the very end of the Capitol, but overall, superb writing, brilliant Arena, the action sequences and emotional scenes and everything were top-notch. Maybe I didn’t really have a grasp of all that many tributes, but those that I did, were handled really well.
Awesome finale, can’t wait for your next story. Great job on this one!
| jacob1106 chapter 17 . 12/15/2014
damn you always keep the surprises coming! I didn't expect Nieve to let Venera go, I feel like that will backfire for her to be honest, I also didn't expect Sterling to kill Zea for no reason, but he did help Nieve kill Jorah so that's kinda honorable I guess. It's all just too much! 5th is better than I hoped for originally though can't complain w him!
now who do I think will win? Venera, because I think that Venera and Nieve will team up against Azure and kill her, then I think Venera can take Nieve
what do I want to happen? frankly Azure ahas always been hilarious and done the right thing and been a decent person, she'd make a good victor.
if not her then Venera, she started as such a follower and so weak and she's grown, but also she hasn't killed anybody in a long time, so I'm going to have to see a fire light under her for her to actually kill someone again
as for Nieve, I just never really 'got' her character I guess
| bobothebear chapter 17 . 12/15/2014
You killed my remaining bottom three. Very nice ;o
Nieve gets immediate points for her little plot, which honestly, she kinda needs. I loved her interaction with Vespera, but now that she's gone, I feel like Nieve needed something to solidify her place in the Games. Her little stunt here did that.
Azure is still one of my favorites. She's probably my favorite at this point, but I don't think she'll win, personally. She's changed, but not nearly as much as her competitors have.
And Venera, last but certainly not least. Of the three, I see her winning. There's just something about her that suggests that she'll be the one on top. Not that I'm complaining; the contrary, actually. She's not my favorite, but she's a close second.
| jacob1106 chapter 16 . 12/2/2014
wow. this is crazy.
I never would have guessed these 3 deaths, honestly I had Stark and Solaris in my predicted top 3.
I just can't imagine a way in which Jorah or Azure would lose, especially Azure, she's a badass! Jorah is a little bit of a whimp but I can see him killing like Zea and then getting burned to death by Nieve or something like that. Now, to be selfish and honest I want Sterling to win, he's changed so much and he still has room to go but I just try to image that situation, he'd have to be super lucky or something :'(
I had to pick a victor right now I would pick Zea or Sterling to be honest. A career won last time, and these 2 (in my honest opinion) have developed the most.
| Necklace of Rope chapter 16 . 11/30/2014
First of all, I'm really sorry for not leaving a review in such a long time. I've just been unbelievably busy, and sadly I didn't have time to even read. Anyway, I'm beggining to catch up now, and I have to say that the development of most characters has been really well done, in very different ways, so congrats on that :)
I admit I didn't see most of the final six characters actually making it that far (particularly Zea, lol), but thinking it through I can see a lot of interesting possibilities for this particular combination of tributes, so I have to say I'm really curious about what will happen next. So yeah, I'll be looking forward to your next update! Hopefully I'll be able to read and review in time XD
| bobothebear chapter 16 . 11/29/2014
you don't understand I've been waiting for this for like forever don't judge me ;/
Death time! Happy Thanksgiving, by the way ;o
Stark wasn't ever truly a favorite of mine, but I liked what he did in this chapter. His interactions with others were disheartening in that he really couldn't do anything to save Evaine or Rion. Death scene was great, though.
Amelithe ;-; she was my favorite living tribute, but I guess she wasn't Victor-material to begin with. Still, I loved her interactions with Adonis and jorah and the like. The bae has fallen ;-;
Solaris wasn't in the in club until...until Etsy died, actually. But ever since after that, I've really liked him and he's been interesting as a character.
Hmmm final six predictions mayb?
Ayyy Venera :*
Anyway, see you soon (hopefully amirite)