Reviews for Sand Castles
bobothebear chapter 15 . 11/5/2014
Mack .-.

this story has become my lifeline, and reading these chapters is like the heavens have parted and decided to make me the new jesus

I literally need you to update or I will curl up and sob.

on that note I'm a nerd and I've had this list from the beginning and it has their final placings up to their deaths or now depending whether or not they're getting fitted for a casket or not

Love: Solaris, Etsy, Amelithe, Azure, Padoa, Alima, Evaine (current fave, her death pained me)
Like: Adonis, Venera, Sebastian, Lapis, Zea, Vespera (I expected to hate her but I liked her plotline a lot), Jorah, Sterling
Neutral: Nieve, Stark, Ky, Rion, D8, D12, Rufy
Dislike: Steven, Apa, Barnabas, Fenby

.update pls. i need.
jacob1106 chapter 15 . 9/16/2014
the shift in perspective is interesting to say the least but it of course gets the job done!

I feel bad for Julian, I don't know why but I saw him actually doing something in the games, but he was more just a casual death than anything.

I'm praying for Sterling to get some meds at the feast I sense coming up but I fear his death will be soon :L

frankly at this upcoming feast I think Nieve and Stark will both kill someone as well as the dynamic career duo Azure and Jorah. who knows maybe even Solaris will get his hands dirty?

next rounds of death in my eyes seem to be Venera Zea and Sterling :/
blangreck chapter 14 . 6/29/2014
Here I am, right after reviewing the previous chapter.

Solaris: He's a decent character, but I respect his chances of victory; he's certainly capable. Sterling and him will be a very dynamic alliance that can go very far. I think at least one of them will make it to the final four or farther. With the rest of the careers scattered, there aren't many huge threats. I like Sterling better out of the two, I might add.

Evaine: Even though she may be Stark's ally, she is kind of dull as a character. Sure, she's independent, but I don't see her making it past the final five. If anyone is going to die in this trio, it'd likely be her. I am curious to see Stark's weapon soon, though. Zea is a good character, I have a good feeling about her odds of survival.

Nieve V. Vespera: While I may not be a fan of either characters, i preferred that Vespera died. She was getting out of control with her imaginary friends and Hunter killing Cocoa. Honestly, Nieve probably put her out of her misery. As for where Nieve will go next, I'm not sure. Perhaps she might team up with Julian.

Another great chapter, sorry about reviewing so late. I know it's disappointing to have so many people not reviewing but just hang in there I'm sure they'll come around :)

Update soon! (And maybe I'll try to review soon haha)
blangreck chapter 13 . 6/29/2014
I've been awfully late with these reviews. I'm truly sorry for that.

This was an epic, action-packed chapter which has been one of my favorite to read so far.

Padoa: Even though she had it coming for her, it was still a little sad to see her go. She may have only weighed Jorah down, but I felt bad for her since she was so undertrained. Good thing Jorah had the brains to run, otherwise he might have been another victim of Adonis.

Amelithe V. Adonis: This was a fierce battle most of us probably all foresaw (and hoped for). Even though I had expected Adonis to win, having her as the winner still came as reasonable. She's not one of my favorite careers, but she's meh. Her reaction and guilt was realistic as well; it could clearly pass as self-defense. Anyways, great job with this battle, I can't wait for the next career showdown (if there is one).

Fenby V. Venera: Now, the outcome of this fight really shocked me. I thought Fenby was supposed to be seemed like she went down without much of a fight. Plus, Venera isn't usually the type to make such a rash decision so swiftly, or at least by herself, since she always relies on Sebastian. Nevertheless, the Games change people, and i won't be missing Fenby much anyway.

Sebastian V. Sterling: So Sterling finally showed us some of his true potential. Killing a career is no easy feat (a well-trained career like Sebastian, that is). Sebastian was obviously very different from the other careers, but I still have trouble just putting into words. He was just special...a good special. But hey, at least Sterling avenged Alina.

Two tributes I would not like to see in the final 10...

Fantastic writing as usual! Onto the next chapter...
tear that cherry out chapter 14 . 6/9/2014
Yeah, this is gonna be really short, because typing on tablets ain't so pleasant ._.

Okay, Solaris. He was definitely one of the more normal types of characters that I managed to like near the start of the story, but now I don't think I like him as much. Sure, he's nice and all, but eh, he's not very memorable and now he's starting to fade into the background, in my opinion, along with characters like Evaine, Stark and even Jorah. Sterling and Solaris are definitely going to be a strong alliance, especially considering the four remaining Careers are all loners. With 11 left, I'm quite sure both of them will get quite far into the Top 10, perhaps even Final 5. I don't like both characters too much, though.

Evaine and Stark both don't do too much for me either. Evaine was a character who stood out more on the blog, now she's slightly dull. This POV wasn't bad though, I actually kinda enjoyed reading it, especially with the tension at the Cornucopia because of the whole Zea situation. Zea is another 'eh' character, she doesn't do much for me but she's not bad either; I think I've warmed up to her, and I don't know if it was Kyrie's death or something else, but she's bearable. I expect one of these three to go quite soon, maybe even two. Possibly all three.

I was actually really interested in Nieve's fact too o_o Quite interesting, if I'm honest. Loved the tension in both Nieve and Vespera's POVs. I love how you handled Vespera's imaginary friends, because I'm sure that would most definitely be a difficult task to take on, so I admire you for that. And then the whole Hunter and Cocoa problematic shit was great too; the murdering of Cocoa, and then Hunter literally driving Vespera to insanity. Then she diesssss.

The whole fight was great, very action packed and suspenseful; for one fearful second I actually thought Vespera was gonna successfully kill Nieve, but to my relief she ended up overpowering her and whatnot. RIP Vespera, I guess. It's great to see Nieve developing; she was definitely always a standout character in SC, and yeah I really like her.

Honestly, I love what you're doing with Sand Castles. The story is wonderful, most of the remaining characters are 'eh' but you're most certainly doing a great job with them. The plot lines are great too, I just love it all and yeah, great work!
jacob1106 chapter 14 . 6/3/2014
Solaris and Sterling... hmmm I like it, but in a weird way. I think since they're he only none careers w high schools they're going to have some serious action here pretty soon, but it's hard to tell. I'm afraid for Sterling, he needs meds ASAP. my guess is we'll hear from him next chapter

Evaine and Stark and now Zea? this one I can see much more clearly, especially Zea and Stark they click to me for some reason, granted Zea hasn't really grown as a character like Evaine and Stark both have but I think she'll come into her own with this alliance now that she's not just protecting someone, and Stark has his this could be a game changer, and hopefully a career killer

Vespera/Nieve I've been waiting for this to happen for a while now, I'm just glad that Nieve was on the right side of the blade ya know? I want to see what she can really do, she hasn't been doing much but now she's being thrusted into the action

I think there will be a feast soon, as for the next wave of deaths my predictions are Amelithe, Evaine and either Sterling or Solaris [please be Solaris]
SkyeBird128 chapter 14 . 6/1/2014
Vespera only finished twelfth? I'd thought - and hoped - that she would go farther than that. Her death scene was amazing, though. Awesome chapter!
JabberjayHeart chapter 13 . 5/13/2014
Seriously, though. I can see why you've been waiting to write this chapter. It was fantastic. Due to the amount of deaths, I'll comment on that.

Padoa's death was the most expected, but it was still sad. I saw a lot of similarities between her and Etiliase - the whiny, helpless girl attached to their district partner for some form of strength - and the death made me feel the same. I knew she would die. It was painfully obvious. I just didn't expect Adonis to drag it out and be so cruel, or for Jorah to run. I'm pretty glad with that, though. Jorah is a realist and, whilst upset that he realised without Padoa he was more free, he still kept to his thoughts and ran, albeit cowardly.

And then that leads onto Amelithe killing Adonis. Honestly, I didn't expect that. It kind of leaves the whole eye-muttation and poisoning in the air, but maybe it wasn't all that important to begin with, or maybe you'll incorporate it with the other tributes. I don't know. Either way, it took me by surprise.
Amelithe's guilt was written well, but I still don't like her all that much. She reacted well, and the reasoning that it was self-defence was pretty sound, but... I don't know, I just don't connect with her. But good on her for surviving. The development is proving wonders and Amelithe is truly growing, even if I don't fully appreciate it.

Okay, I admit, Fenby's hate might be slightly skewed to the history and the way she was perceived by Sterling in the beginning, but I just didn't like her enough to care. She always felt too perfect, and her flaws didn't feel like flaws, but rather weaknesses that should be admired and made her seem more cutesy and stuff. I don't know. Either way, I'm surprised (and happy) that Sterling and Alina just abandoned her. Fight of flight kicked in, and human instincts will always prevail. It was realistic, even if it hurt Fenby's ego just a little bit.
Seriously, though. The death felt... odd. Fenby is trained, no? Venera is basically incompetent, like, a lot, no? Fenby went down too easy and Venera had complete control when it often feels like Venera needs someone breathing down her neck to make her decisions for her. I don't know. I'm not complaining, but it felt a little strange, like Venera suddenly became Sebastian-Female for a few moments to murder Fenby who felt a lot less Fenby-esque. Oh well. Hunger Games change people, and I still prefer the outcome like this.
Fenby is dead. I'm not sad, but she was a plot, at the very least.


So upset.

Bye Sebastian. I loved you, too, but not passionate, you feel? I just loved your descent into madness that was written so fluidly and poetic and just... yeah. You are the most perfect antagonist ever. I don't care. He put Adonis to shame. SHAME. I'll actually miss him, really. I preferred him to the rest of the Careers and Venera. I thought he'd had more to give. But, Sterling killing him was sweet justice on Alina's part, and that makes me happy because Alina deserves it, you know?

This was a whirlwind of a chapter. My absolute favourite and hated both died, and now I'm an emotional wreck. Good job.

Twelve already? It didn't take that long... okay, so we have: Solaris, Amelithe, Venera, Nieve, Azure, Stark, Vespera, Jorah, Julian, Sterling, Zea, Evaine. At this point, I definitely don't want to see Vespera. I'm so over her and the imaginary friends, it's unreal. I don't care too much about Stark or Evaine either, but if I had to choose, I'd say Evaine, simply because Stark has developed and we haven't heard from Evaine or her mundane voice for, like, ages. So, Vespera and Evaine.

Alliances? The majority of them are alone now. I only think Evaine/Stark and Nieve/Vespera are left? Yeah... so I don't know, but they'll be alliances. Way too many loners. Maybe the likes of Julian and Zea, or maybe Azure and Jorah? I can't see Nieve hanging with the ole' crazy lady that much longer... or seeing Solaris survive... or seeing Venera cope on her lonesome... so yeah, I don't know, but that makes it that much more fun.

Happy writing!
blangreck chapter 12 . 5/12/2014
This chapter provided some insight from some tributes who've faded into the background recently, so that's always nice to see.

Etsy: She has never been a favorite or a disliked character of mine, but I can't say I'm sad she died. She did not provide much to the plot, and it was realistic of Sebastian to kill her. Though, I'm shocked that he actually hesitated a bit before delivering the fatal blow.

Vespera: While I think that she is a fairly original character, I can't find it anywhere in myself to like her. She just seems so oblivious and I think it will lead to her death very soon. Either that, or Nieve will realize that she is insane, and leave her. At least Cocoa has some sense...

Venera: She is clearly the more sensible one of the pair from Two. Sebastian isn't thinking through these situations if he is willing to charge into battle so quickly. But I'm not stopping him. If he dies, I wouldn't mind.
Venera will surely outlive Sebastian.

Padoa: Ugh, why can't she just leave Jorah alone? He would be far better off without her. She is only bringing him down. I know District 7 needs a victor this year, but it better not be Padoa. I predict she will die very soon. The mutts were interesting to read about, and you did an outstanding job with describing them!

Adonis: I feel bad for him, having been drugged and all, but he needs to die, otherwise he'll kill a lot of people. I hope he and Amelithe clash next chapter. As for Jorah and Padoa, I can't say the odds are in their favor. Though, you never know in these Games. I bet Jorah will manage to hold his own, at least.

I'll read and review the next chapter in a bit. Great writing!
blangreck chapter 11 . 5/12/2014
Incoming late reviews...I apologize for that, once again.

Stark: Looks like he's found another ally, and a good one too. Evaine seems pretty independent, considering she hasn't had any allies and has made it well off on her own. Hopefully she can continue to bring out some life in Stark and finish what Rion started. I can see their personalities getting along well.

Azure: She is still probably my second favorite career, behind Jorah. I just have a feeling that she has big potential to make it very far in the Games. I was a bit worried when Adonis attacked her, but I'm glad he let her go in the end. Also, I'm Not surprised that this pack was the first to fall apart; they never really had any great chemistry going on.

Nyx: It was interesting to hear from the mentors, especially Trance. I felt bad for him, seeing how much he was worrying over his tributes and Lourde. Though, I loved Lourde in this part. Punching Griffin was brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

Zea: It was nice to hear from the 11 pair again, considering they have faded into the background compared to the other tributes. Kyrie's death was depressing, but it was predictable. I wonder if Jorah and Padoa will be willing to offer help to Zea, now that she is alone.

Great chapter, as usual. Now I shall read the next!
Acereader55 chapter 13 . 5/12/2014
This was a great chapter Mack! I thoroughly enjoyed the different career fights here, and I was very happy that we finally saw some major characters die this chapter. I can't wait to see how the now career loners handle themselves without an alliance to rely on.

Jorah: He is my favorite male career. I like how he is torn between wanting to leave Padoa to her own battles, or staying and helping her. it's very realistic and I like how you portray the internal struggle he goes through. Padoa basically signed her own death certificate by running at Adonis when she knew he would easily beat her. I don't get why she would willingly go to fight him if she understood that he was way better at fighting than she was. I guess Amelthie wanted to help Adonis take down the pair from 7? I thought she would run as soon as the fight started and leave Adonis to fight his own battles, but it was smart for her to occupy Jorah while Adonis took on Padoa. I feel bad that Adonis tortured Padoa and drew out her death, but that's how Adonis is. It was realistic that Padoa died here, this is about where I expected her to die because she just wasn't up to par with the other career's skills. With the mutts taking on Amelithe and Adonis, it appeared as if the Gamemakers wanted Jorah to escape seeing as they didn't put one to target Jorah. I'm glad Jorah got away though, and we will see how he can handle himself now that he's on his own.

Amelithe: She's a favorite of mine honestly. I love how she's developed and I really like her as a whole. I think that she has a real shot of winning here, and I would be very pleased if she did win. I find Adonis' suspicion of Amelithe poisoning him to be understandable, but there really wouldn't be a point in Amelithe sabotaging her alliance that early on. It seems like just as Adonis irritated Padoa and that caused her to attack him, Amelithe did the same thing to Adonis and it caused him to attack her. I'm happy with how the fight turned out, and it's quite nice to see Amelithe developing even further by killing her district partner and then wondering if it was morally justified for her to do so. I wonder how she will handle killing her district partner and how that will effect her mentality for the rest of the Games.

Fenby: It would have been nice to see how Sebastian and Venera got to finding the anti-careers, but eh we can't get everything we want can we? I was a little surprised that Sterling so blatantly took off with Alina, leaving Fenby on her own to fight the other two careers, but then again he was having a lot of doubts so I guess it makes sense. Yet again Sebastian orders Venera around and she does what she's told, which in truth does annoy me but I still like Venera quite a lot. The fight between Venera and Fenby was well written, but I'm surprised that Fenby didn't have her knives at the ready and I'm not sure if it's just me but it didn't seem like she tried as hard as she could have to fight for her life. Maybe the combination of Sterling and Alina leaving and Venera actually putting up a good fight was too much for her. I'm glad she did die though, as I really hated her and found her to be too perfect and designed to win instead of for the enjoyment of the story. Wow, Venera finally did something against Sebastian's wishes. Good for her. I'm wondering how she's going to do now that nobody is ordering her around.

Sterling: I'm not surprised that Sebastian managed to follow them and kill Alina. I knew he was determined, and I was preparing myself for the death of either Sterling or Alina here. I'm actually very upset that Alina died; she was my favorite of the Anti-Careers and I think that she kept that alliance together. Her death was very saddening, and it was hard to read because I will miss her quite a lot. I guess this is a little bit of karma towards Sterling since he did abandon Fenby to die, and unfortunately Alina paid the karma with her life. I'm excited for the impending Sebastian and Sterling fight, and I'm hoping for a good fight, maybe even ending with both of them dying.

Sebastian: He's really gone over the deep end, hasn't he? I'm not sure I'm a fan of him, but I don't hate him. As time has been going on, I've started to grow to dislike him more and more. I was surprised that he cared about Venera for a minute, but then that went away so there went the surprise. I didn't think he'd be the one to fight fair, but I guess it worked out to Sterling's advantage. The fight was very intense and I quite like how it played out. I was a little shocked that Sterling managed to beat Sebastian, but I like how it worked out. I guess it made sense too because he was starting to loose it and Sterling had the motivation to beat him after he killed Alina and started to antagonize him. Now that Sterling has killed and is alone, I think he might go off the deep end like Sebastian because Alina seemed to be the one that would keep him grounded.

Who do I not want to make the Final Ten? Definitely Solaris. Besides him, either Stark or Julian would probably make me very happy if they didn't make it.

Just for fun, I'll make a little chart of the remaining tributes since we are at the Top 12:
Like: Amelithe, Venera, Nieve, Azure, Vespera
Neutral: Jorah, Sterling, Zea, Evaine
Dislike: Stark, Julian
Loathe: Solaris

Update soon!

Sand Castles chapter 12 . 5/12/2014
I really liked Etsy and I'm said to see her go. I thought her naive and child like qualities made for an enjoyable character to read about, but sadly I understand that she couldn't make it much longer with how she was. She will be missed :'(

Vespera is a pretty good character, I like her about as much as I do Venera and Amelithe which is a lot! I ddon't like how someone below said she was unrealistic and a bad character, because I think she's realistic and is a good character. I feel that every Games has someone who goes a little insane, and here that's Vespera. Everyone had imaginary friends at some point, and I think its realistic that some people just never grow out of the phase. whatever the case, I think the other reviewer was wrong in saying she is a bad character and maybe they're just over reacting a little bit!

Venera is probably my favorite character remaining! Shes just really cool and I like how unlike most careers she's very indifferent to everything that is going on around her. Its a refreshing thing to see, and I'm thinking she might even win this story! I'm excited to see if she will remain by Sebastian's side or leave him!

Padoa: I feel bad for her! Shes always going to be the less threatening career and i always feel shes looked down upon and maybe even underestimated! I have a feeling shes going to die soon which is sad cause shes not a bad character at all!

Not a fan of Adonis at all! I hate how he treats Amelthie and last chapter when he went after Azure i started to really hate him! I hope he dies soon!

Good Chapter! PS i only dont like Fenbyand Adonis and to some extent Solaris, Srbastian, and Stark!
Munamana chapter 13 . 5/12/2014
Dam no punches held this chapter and now were down to 12. Not shocked to see Padoa go but it still sucked that her death was quite drawn out, still theres a reason they say pick your battles carefully and that was not one she should of picked. I'm a little surprised we lost both Adonis and Sebastian at this point, these male careers are dropping like flies but in a way im kind of happy since I like being surprised as a reader and I expected atleast one of them to be one of the final antagonists but this way it gives room for others to fill that spot so im okay with it. Didn't care much for Fenby but I was a little surprised Alina went so soon afterwards but I didn't care all that much about her either so im not devastated, not sure what sterling is going to do now without any allies, maybe he'll run into a couple of other solo players or maybe he'll just go lone wolf, well just have to see. Great chapter as always and I look forward to the next chapter.
jacob1106 chapter 13 . 5/12/2014
Holy crap. You just killed 5 tributes. 5 important tributes. 5 tributes who each had a real shot. I'll go in order.

I never like padoa and I expected her to die in this chapter but Adonis really took his time with her. Damn. Just damn. I won't miss her too much. I'm glad jorah escaped though.

Adonis. I'm sad. As a career he was my favorite, he had multiple levels and I thought he could win, but alas when he was drugged I knew it was the end. I hate amelithe so much. She had 1 job. 1. And she couldn't do it. Her first kill was her district partner. What the hell woman?!

Fenby, I honestly thought she could take venera, but I think fenby gave up there at the end. Seeing sterling and his loyalty leave was the real end for her. I love her. Controversial and skilled she'll be missed but I knew she'd never win.

Alina! No! Why ?! My dear Alina I loved her and sterling together. I didn't see her death coming at all I thought they'd escape. She will be missed she was too peaceful too pacifistic

And Sebastian. I wasn't sure if sterling had it in him. Just damn.
JabberjayHeart chapter 12 . 5/8/2014
This will be a quick review.

This was actually really sad. Etiliase felt so hopeless and sad, and Sebastian, like I know, came across as pretty cruel and heartless for doing that. And Venera is back to being a puppet wallflower. I get really confused with her sometimes, but I just it means something in the end.
Yeah, this was super sad. I felt really bad for Etsy here. She might've volunteered - had a pretty strong reason behind it - and, at the end of the day, was simply over her head.

She's all gimmick, in my opinion.
That's basically Vespera in a nutshell. Gimmick. Either imaginary friends or schizophrenic or insane. Any of those make her a gimmick, and sadly, I don't see much personality outside of it. Her POVs are heavily focused on Hunter and Cocoa (who didn't they disappear, or am I missing something?)
It's not your fault, Mack. Definitely not. Your writing is astounding and your diction and words and description, it's all mind-blowing and impressive... but Vespera is a bad, bad, bad character, and that's down to the submitter.

Venera is confusing. Sometimes I like her, sometimes I don't. She has more emotion in her own POVs, as expected, and that's when I like her. She's more wallflowery and lost and confused and, even know it's a bad idea, she sticks by Sebastian's side. I see betrayal in the future. On that note, Sebastian's dip into insanity or whatever it is is actually rather poetic and smooth. He's breaking at the seams whilst not being overexposed about it, and it's pretty great to see.

Padoa is hopeless, and that's why I like her. She's far too naive and incompetent, and whilst her time is running out, I've been able to relate to her a lot, being overwhelmed, under pressure to do well, and effectively failing.

Adonis is decent. I don't like him, but he serves his purpose well.
Those last words on Amelithe and Padoa was great. I mean, really, really great. That's the Adonis I remember liking at the beginning.

In my opinion, Amelithe and Padoa are dead, and that's how I want it. Jorah has loads of room to grow and so he should. Adonis can't die when the pill-eye colour plot hangs in the air. Padoa has ran her course, sadly, and without Adonis by her side, I don't see much of a future for Amelithe, either.

Amazing chapter as per usual.
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