|Reviews for A Tale of Transmigration|
| Nysta chapter 13 . 3/29
Thanks for writing :)
That Khepri fight was pretty complex. Must be hard to fight for multiple reasons, for Skitter. I really hope this worlds Alexandria doesn't pressure her too much. And I do wonder if she'll be able to figure out things from here. It's a parallel universe with likely a different underlying problem after all - it does seem to be more active than the remnants in the original worm.
| maskedkeeper chapter 7 . 3/29
weird story so far. plot is good, writing is fine, but conversations are pretty bad. up to chapter 7, in a abrupt way.
but this chapter seems to have fixed that
| Idhun's Durmgrist Feldunost chapter 7 . 3/28
"If it was one thing about Amy and I's brain storming it was that we didn't do things by half measures"
MY EYES ARE BURNING!
Please correct that.
It should be:
"If it was one thing about Amy's and my brainstorming it was that we didn't do things by half measures"
You can't use " I's ", that doesn't exist. Instead, there are already invented " I " for pronoun, " me " for object of a phrase and " my " and " mine " for possesive determinants.
If you want to know which contraction you can use with " I ", some are these:
"I'm" for "I am", the verb is to be.
"I've" for "I have", the verb is to have.
"I'd" for "I had", the verb is to have.
"I'd" for "I would/could/should", they are conditionals.
"I'll" for "I will", used for future tenses.
For more, search "common English contractions".
If you use " I's " it sounds terribly wrong, because the contraction says it's probably a verb. But if it's a verb, then the person is wrongly chosen because verbs ended in s are usually 2nd or 3rd person, not 1st person. Also, the context says that you are trying to use it as possesive pronount, but possessive pronouns don't have abbreviation, and the 1st person singular doesn't have any letter s.
The possesive pronouns are: 1st person: my, mine, ours, 2nd person: your, yours,yours, 3rd person: his, hers, theirs.
| pltrgst chapter 2 . 3/26
oh.. i thought this was solo run
| Jarvey chapter 13 . 3/14
Gotta admit it's a bit of long delay before chapter 14 is posted...
That said, for what is here I very much enjoyed it.
| Guest1138 chapter 6 . 1/20
Aegis's reaction doesn't make sense. He should have instinctually treated Skitter the same as he treated Taylor, which would have pissed her off more... and given her later thoughts to worry about her secret being out. You Deux Ex Machina 'second lifers' into the thing and let them figure out her identity.
In fact, you're just... stringing things along and not really advancing the story. It's happened the last few chapters and I've taken to skipping whole sections of paragraphs to try and find the 'meat' of the story... and found none. The extra scene at the end added nothing to the narrative, as they haven't actually led anywhere.
It's sad that I have to drop this after reading so much; but, I'm tired of waiting for the plot to get going, since you're still in the 'setting up' phase of the story and you should have been at the major changes that should have resulted in Taylor's second life. It's such a waste of potential.
| Guest1138 chapter 3 . 1/20
My criticism on Wraith is that you gave her the same costume description as Taylor, even with having the loose back hair. That's just lazy writing and a huge plot hole for future misunderstandings. I actually thought it was Taylor for most of the scene and was trying to figure out why she was going undercover. So, I would suggest you change it and give Wraith an actual costume and not have such confusing imagery.
| Guest1138 chapter 2 . 1/20
It's not the fact that Taylor isn't blowing her lid at Shadow Stalker, it's that she's not reacting differently than she did in canon. Of all the things she could be doing, she is instead STILL DOING NOTHING!
She should have put a burrowing worm into the girl's ear and let it have fun. Easy peasy, brain squeezy. A vegetable wouldn't bully her (or anyone else) ever again. In fact, another idea is that you could have the bug cut out her powers (by eating that part of the brain). See how Shadow Stalker likes being a 'useless normal'.
| Guest chapter 10 . 1/10
Bro i hope she makes more skitter clones but with heavy battle in mind like a she hulk skitter with a big ass tonfas or a halberd
Or maybe a tentacle whip staff?
She should really make bigg spider legs and move like doc oc lol that would fit perfectly
| pleasereadme chapter 11 . 1/10
Now all you need to do is imprint over Spider-Man biology onto Taylor and She will be more effective as a cape one bugs act like scouting maybe eventually evolve it that way you have bug type armor living armor or something not like the venom symbiotic cuz that s*** ain't going to fly parasitic symbiotic liquid b******t better off without venom that's like stabbing yourself 42 times to stab the opponent one time and it's a mandatory debuff better going with an organic version of Tony Stark's armor or become like an Aurburn from the Naruto series and become a living hive or combine those two things like having an endo and an exoskeleton and the exoskeleton can be replaced or changed out to be modular you yourself walks into the exoskeleton and your hive acts like nanites. Maybe even share the spider sense with the bugs so you get way more accurate predictive capabilities and then you create a bug that attaches on to your brain that makes the spider sense more comprehensible giving you a heads up display kind of like not just a feeling anymore but you have the assassin's Creed friend or foe vision otherwise known as eagle vision and thanks to the bug hive mind inside of you it highlights tracks and gives you detective vision and sort of like a biological computer answering directly to you that would be badass maybe the armor can take inspirations from Warframe and maybe anthem.
| dragon - wolf - thing chapter 13 . 12/14/2021
This was excellent. I especially love the OC’s. Wish we had more unique Worm stuff that was this good.
| NotGoliath chapter 13 . 12/11/2021
Well, you said expect a long delay before you post the next chapter, but I guess that waiting for it at this point is like waiting for halve live 3...
still, it was good while it lasted!
| Mastersgtjames chapter 3 . 9/13/2021
So... does the MC not remember much enough to attack Coil, or is he just no longer a thing?
I really hope the MC has been intelligent enough to remove her modified bugs ability to breed.
| Mastersgtjames chapter 2 . 9/13/2021
Wow, that pulls the rug out from under a lot of the interest in the story. MC is not the only transmigrant. Dislike stories where the MC's gimmick is something that can either be copied/stolen or is not unique/special. Unless it was designed that way from the outset. Basically would have made the story better had the synopsis mentioned the MC was not the only transmigrant.
| Mastersgtjames chapter 1 . 9/13/2021
Bummed Taylor does not have the ability to manipulate her own biology. She could constantly improve herself. Better physique, better durability, healing, longevity, intelligence, etc...
Kinda feels like she should be more experienced/paranoid. I mean, accessing the internet from the library, the specific hours, stating when her "time is up". As well as giving ANY kind of confirmation about whether she is new or not. Basically just making it VERY easy for people to track her down.