|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Cave of Second Chances|
| Mentathial chapter 3 . 1/27/2015
| triggbc chapter 3 . 9/22/2014
It looks like very good so far. Hope you'll update soon.
| strangeways chapter 2 . 2/14/2014
The summary sounds promising, and the set-up is good (though I'd find the prologue a bit easier to believe if Draco and the other boys were a bit older ... or Lucius had spoken as if he were addressing a younger audience).
Harry's dialogue is a bit stilted here: in speech, most people (especially children) use contractions wherever they can. Not using them comes across as a bit stiff and formal. Lucius or Percy avoiding their use fits, or Draco when addressing his father, but Harry's "I am, but my family is not." seems uncharacteristically stiff. Something more like "Yes, but my parents weren't." would come across a bit more naturally.
| Snape5 chapter 1 . 1/20/2014
Interesting stuff. I like the way you write and as tempted to wait and leave a longer review when I wasn't forced to rush but often then I never get the chance to review at all, so you've got the rushed version!
Draco is pretty small and passive in this opening chapter. Luciuis leading the show, but you can clearly see the man he is already trying to shape his son into. The idea of his interest and knowledge of guns is interesting - as I always expect him to be blind to Muggle technology. But I thought you wrote it very convincingly.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
| KatherineSpice chapter 2 . 12/20/2013
I think the arrow planes was hilarious and it was sad that Harry didn't pick up on it, but then again he would have been too polite to say anything anyway. I completely understand the fact you want reviews, that is why I am reviewing (again) haha.
I think the length of your chapters are just perfect, most books these days have shorter chapters too to facilitate the reading (and writing) process. Besides, I personally prefer chapters of this length because I am reading on a computer (my eyes burn out when I have to read for over 15 minutes), and I don't have much time each day to read. I think you could afford to make your chapters a little longer, but not so long that they take up 12 pages in Microsoft Word (as I have been guilty of doing so in the past, haha.)
I like this slimy git version of Draco. It's different. I like it. (Redundancy alert.) I also think Harry is a bit pathetic for letting Draco in (considering him a friend) so soon; he wasn't like that with Ron in the books if I recall correctly. However, I think the premise is really great and I am interested in reading on. I have never seen an even similar premise so kudos for making it so original (and entertaining to read.) I can't wait for the next chapter, hope you get it up soon. xx
| KatherineSpice chapter 1 . 12/20/2013
Oh, how I hate good!Draco, but I'm liking where (I presume) this is going. I like your writing style, the dialogue isn't forced, it is believable, and all the characters have personalities, even if they seem a little clichéd and one-dimensional yet (but it is merely the prologue, so they couldn't seem anything but, though hopefully this will change.)
I'm interested in these special lessons and what Lucius is up to. Will Draco have any love interests? (Ooh, such a love fan.) I can see a well-characterized OC getting together with Draco working perfectly in this story.
One little tip: sometimes your grammar seems a little off, as though you were hurrying with the writing. You're supposed to put a comma before names in a sentence, etc. I only noticed things like these pop up once or twice and at other places you get them right so you were probably just hurrying to write it fast (which as a fellow fan fiction author I can totally understand), just thought I'd let you know.
I absolutely loved this chapter and am looking forward to the upcoming chapters. :3 Thanks for posting.
| Witherwings01 chapter 1 . 12/11/2013
Interesting to read a truly dark!Draco fic from his POV.
As for chapter length, I wouldn't worry too much. As long as it is well written (and this was), I'm happy at any length.