|Reviews for The Astria Porta Project|
| s-david-m chapter 3 . 8/26
Your writing is still confusing, as you flow between timelines without any indication.
Also, I forgot to mention last chapter that biceps are arm muscles, not a leg muscles. You're thinking of quadriceps. Harry has a compartment in his quads, not his biceps.
| s-david-m chapter 2 . 8/25
Nitpick: 40 times the speed of light is absurdly slow in hyperdrive terms. Our nearest solar system is 4 light years away, so it would still take over a month to get there. Even old Stargate hyperdrives are much faster.
Now on to the serious problems: Phoenix operations is developing far too quickly. 3 years after starting their program, and they've already deciphered magic, reproduced the portkey effect in technology, and constructed battleships after having already deciphered Goauld technology? I think you have an unrealistic view of technological progress. It would probably take 3 years just to build the tech to detect what magic is doing in a portkey. Not to mention they somehow already knew how to reprogram the Stargate's point of origin right from the beginning, which is inconceivable.
Your Moros adventure was also very confusing. At the end of one paragraph, Harry is stashing away the Galahad, and in the very next paragraph it's suddenly two years later and he's pulling it out again in an emergency?
That's pretty bad writing, I'm sorry to say, which is a shame because you have some good ideas.
| Mashkai30 chapter 4 . 7/6
I liked this. Wasn't quite sure where you were heading with it in the 2nd half but was looking forward to seeing. I don't know why you chose to end it in such an abrupt way, though I could guess at several possible reasons. Is this one you have ever thought about continuing/finishing? or rewriting?
| MrBogus chapter 4 . 7/2
Nice story. I really wished, you had written more about it. Your timeskips in between different parts of your story were quite confusing as well, if i am honest. Just a small line "Timeskip" or something might have been useful here ;)
| enji-benjy chapter 4 . 3/28
This could have done with some flashing out, but was a good, if frustrating, read.
| enji-benjy chapter 3 . 3/28
So he got all the properties of a phoenix, except the useful part of a phoenix's immortality? Why give him anything at all?
Also, I may not be a biology r human anatomy expert, but I'm pretty sure the biceps are part of the arms, not the legs.
For the love of god you need to to start including scene breaks. Apparently, Sumner went missing inside the SGC on Earth, two minutes after speaking with Harry inside the gate-room. THEN, the Athosans turned up and everyone is suddenly on Atlantis and planning a rescue mission, presumably to Earth, to look for Sumner...? It's all very confusing.
| enji-benjy chapter 2 . 3/28
Harry destroyed an Ancient war ship, just to board another ship? Didn't the war ship have any drones on board?
| MattKennedy chapter 4 . 3/22
Very interesting story. :) I really liked the first two chapters, and somewhat the third, but not so much the forth. The story seemed to diverge and become something rather quite different.
| MattKennedy chapter 3 . 3/22
Senya is the cutest! :D
| Fallen Gods Rise chapter 2 . 2/29
I'm not sure you realise just how slow 40C actually is. To put it in context it would take your super duper portdrive 5.2 weeks to get from earth to the nearest star. Goa'uld Hyperdrives operate at 32,000C.
Why didn't anyone give the Americans hell for keeping the gate a secret and endangering the world especially after making a big deal about how they were different from the 'yanks' and how important it was to set up their own operation with the support of the world?
| erik chapter 4 . 8/3/2015
A great read that I was sorry to see ended.
| silvereagle2121 chapter 3 . 7/13/2015
This story started off good in the first two chapters but turned into a weird bunch of garbage in this one. I'm done reading this crap.
| SeverlyLate chapter 4 . 2/9/2015
Ok, but descends in the same lame stuff as sg series itself.
| tcl7189 chapter 4 . 1/30/2015
| Ryvaken Lucius Tadrya chapter 1 . 1/5/2015
Fail. Just straight up fail. You've made an unlikable Harry and a completely implausible resolution to his story. Your foray into original material is poor but passable, but then you have the Brits reverse engineering technologies dependent on certain materials, without those materials. No. I'm sorry, that just breaks credibility. Your assessment of the SGC, States, and other elements in play could be passed over as a bit of nationalistic pride, but you push it beyond the point of reasonable interpretation of facts (be they historical or rooted in the canon of these fictions). I was getting more enjoyment tallying the ways you were wrong than I did actually reading the story, that's never a good sign.