Reviews for Reaching for a Dream
Guest chapter 1 . 12/12/2013
Xanna? Seriously?
Look up Tvtropes "Aerith and Bob" and "Bad Writing"
Seriously, names that dont fit into the setting tend to make many readers twitch everytime they read it.

Other than that, nice idea, writing is decent but the plot, while still okay just leaves me with a feeling of "this could be better"

Could you try and...i dont know...increase the difficulty more? Make Kyuubi more hostile in the beginning?
Also, this setting is very well suited for a drabble like structure.

Try to switch between action in the real world and the mindscape but do not let those cross over too much.
The content of the mindscape scenes could be A: Kyuubi questioning naruto about his actions during the previous "action" scene. B: Naruto asking kyuubi some kind of question just to figure out more about her.

I think you rushed the plot a little too much, too.

Make 5-7 a chapter, skip 8,make 9-10 a chapter , same with 11 to 12.
Now after that come the "puberty chapters". Those are very important and you should have at least 1 chapter, maybe more, for each year since during them naruto and kyuubis realtionship will inevitably undergo a change.

Your writing skills look like you CAN do it but you made the beginners mistake of being too impatient.

See the criticism as a compliment since it means that i actually consider your work worth reading and want to see more of it :D
Flareose - Knifepoint Entry chapter 1 . 12/12/2013
Dude... I was really enjoying this story right up until the near middle/end of it. I'm not I huge fan of female Kyuubi/Kurama, having always prefered yaoi as the main thing, but I decided to give this story a go getter when seeing that lovely summary you put out about it.

I was like, as long as he doesn't screw this up and be mature about Naruto and Kyuubi's relationship, then I'm all for this pairing, but then you done goofed it up.

Let me just say that I loved the beginning and also the middle part of the story. You didn't have a twelve year old Naruto sleeping with the Kyuubi, and you were patient enough to give him a sum of years before he even slept with her which was a good point in my book, but the fact of it was is that you goofed it up.

I will however admit that this wasn't like all the other Naruto and female Kyuubi stories I've skimmed over from time to time, and again, I loved those little drabbles in Naruto's earlier child-hood you showed the readers. Shoot most of the other stories either had two things;

One - Naruto is nearly killed by the villagers and is sent into his mindscape to find that no, Kyuubi is not hateful and actually wants to help him, and in the process he gains these powers, creates his own harem blah blah bla

Or two - Kyuubi contacts him and then blah blah bla

What I'm saying is I'm glad you put your all into this story, and even though I stopped reading before getting to the end, I can say that you did a pretty good job... Although this story wasn't really my taste, I hope you continue writing at your best.
Animalover205 chapter 1 . 12/12/2013
Lol " Flames for the flame god " I've gotta remember that one :-) Anyway, on to my review of your story. In short, I liked it very much. You made Naruto naturally believable, while still keeping what was at the core of the character, I also liked and understood the need for Naruto to accept that Xanna wasn't human, but was still determined to marry her. Please keep this story going, and I will continue reading it.
hosechavez chapter 1 . 12/12/2013
I will be following this story. I usually don't find stories of naruto taking over the crime syndicate but when I do there usually really good.
wyrdaar chapter 1 . 12/12/2013
Really nice start looking forward to more.
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