|Reviews for Frozen Powers I - Damned Blood|
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/9/2016
New story: Dinners ready Anna shouted okay SAIDE kristoff getting ready to get naughty he picked up Anna and slammed her on the chair kristoff looked at her and kissed her and as they kissed he stuck his tounge into Anna's mouth he grabbed Anna's bra and threw it on the floor Anna started to moun he picked up Anna and put her on the bed and as he did that Anna's pants slipped of kristoff got his dick and stuck it in Anna's vagina ahh ahh ahh mouned Anna kristoff stoped and started to bite Anna's lip whilst moving her Boob around he started to pinch her nipple KRISTOFF Anna SAIDE getting uncomfortable can we please stop NO SAIDE kristoff tying Anna's hands and legs to the bed the door bell rang and kristoff put Anna's clothes no and his own he opened the door it was Elsa he picked up Elsa and tied her to the bed to kristoff called Hans and Hans came Hans got his dick and put it in elsas mouth and kristoff did the same to Anna.
| WyldClaw chapter 5 . 4/3/2016
what happened to elsa
| WyldClaw chapter 4 . 4/3/2016
oh my goodness! that was a close one
| WyldClaw chapter 2 . 4/3/2016
I hope elsa can help her niece with her powers
| WyldClaw chapter 1 . 4/3/2016
| RealDone Universe chapter 39 . 10/29/2015
Okay, I'm just gonna skip to the next book, I can't read this one anymore.
First of all, from what I could try to read, why does Rapunzel act so calmly? A dead body isn't a fun site and it's like she doesn't even care. Why didn't she ask why Anna did not do anything to help Bjorn?
That's all I can say and I'm gonna read the next book. Hopefully it's better or I'll just skim up to the third book.
| RealDone Universe chapter 38 . 10/27/2015
Nice chapter, but … (sighs) I have to be mean again. Look, I understand that everyone wants to help and all, but I really have to point out that their fear of starting a war over Elsa is freakin’ ridiculous.
I mean, come on, she has the right to refuse and she is the Queen of a kingdom, i.e. making her equal to Bjorn. It’s not like the Southern Isles rules over Arendelle like the Order or anything.
The main problem with this chapter is the last scene where Bjorn dies. I have to say that that whole sequence was kinda unconvincing to be honest. First of all, Karlief and his mother clearly stated that they wanna kill royals with dormant magical power, meaning every royal other than Elsa is a likely conduit of magic, so why did they possess Bjorn? Wouldn’t have been smarter to kill him and take his magic? Also, how did they possess him? If they got to the Southern Isles and killed the royal bros, they’d have far more magic than Corona and Arendelle combined since they would be all holders of magic. Was it so that the wedding could be officiated? If so, it’s kinda ridiculous cuz it would mean having to wait for weeks or months before they attacked. Other than that, it’s a very complicated plan.
If Karlief’s mom is a live and still in control of Bjorn, why not keep the façade going, have him try to discuss the terms of the contract with Anna, Eugene and Rapzunel, kill them all then collect their powers. If you wanted to continue with the other idea, then follow it up.
The part where Bjorn died was VERY hard to read to tell the truth. It was dragging honestly; cringingly so. First of all, Anna’s reaction was really heartless and actually evil if you think about it. I mean, you may dislike the guy, but it’s not like he kidnapped Elsa or tried to kill her, so why did she watch him die? She clearly saw that he was being killed by Karlief’s mom, so why not call the others to help, take him to a hospital (if that’s what they were called back then) or have Rapunzel use her magic hair on him. Those tears of hers don’t let her off the hook either cuz she simply brushed off a mind-control victim’s murder right before her eyes and walked away. That really was heartless and I doubt Anna would do something like that.
Secondly, Bjorn’s whole ordeal was weird. If he was being mind-controlled, why did he show animalistic traits at some points? The odd pupil dilation is one thing, but the standing hair and sharp eyes is just weird. I thought he was going to become a werewolf for a second there. Then comes the death itself.
Why did Karlief’s mom bust herself by speaking through him? Like I said, she could have continued her puppeteer act and use him to further her plans. The way Bjorn died was a lil cliché, with him struggling to talk and his speech being prolonged. It would’ve been sadder had he said far less and been more still.
I’m sorry, but again, this chapter was a bit difficult to read though it was good at some points. Sorry for being mean, but I just had to point that out. I hope the next chapter will be better or I’ll just skip to the second or third book to see if anything improves. The breaches in logic are just overwhelming at this point and it’s making the read difficult.
| RealDone Universe chapter 37 . 10/23/2015
I enjoyed this chapter and I liked that Odd pulled all the stops to rescue Elsa. I just have one problem; the rescue itself.
The idea of catapulting a sled through a wall of ice might be feasible if you'd done i differently. First of all, your descriptions were lacking in detail again, so this is all from memory and base assumptions (I read this yesterday).
It would have made more sense of they found an elasticated rope of some sort to wrap around the frames of the door and the sled then pull the vehicle till it was stretched to its limit. You replaced the sled with humans and this brings up the following flaws.
One, pulling the sled to any limit would mean nothing because the limbs of humans are not elastic, i.e., they would not snap back when they let go.
Second, when they stopped pulling the sled, they would actually throwing the sled to make it move forward, not flinging it forward like a rubber band would.
Third, it would be impossible for them to toss the sled because from your descriptions, two people would be holding onto it from either end with one arm and they would not have sufficient strength to throwing forward. It would have made more sense for them to just run it down a hill or bash the door with it, though that would have serious repercussions since the people with the most muscle mass (Kristoff, Odd and Eugene (I almost wrote Balder)) would be the only ones who would withstand the impact with minimal injury while Rapunzel and Anna would end up with concussions. Other than that, the sled would simply fall on them all and break their arms.
Fourth, Rapunzel's hair is not rubber, so pulling it would mean pulling the roots attached to her head which we all know would hurt like hell. Just because it is long, does not mean that she does not feel anything when people step on it, drag it or pull it.
Five, I doubt this plan would work at all actually. If the wall was thick enough, the sled would just bounce off and I doubt that they would be able to pull it far enough for it to work. Maybe it would, but I'd try something else.
Also, here are simple, obvious flaws.
Several people broke windows to escape the church when those Atlantian-esque dudes attacked, so why didn't Odd just jump through a window? Why'd Odd punch the wall instead of the ice when he panicked? I would've banged rocks against the ice before I took the time to think of a better plan.
Why'd Elsa block the entrance with ice instead of shielding herself? She could've done that or better yet, blown the debris off her with an icy blast.
Anyway, this chapter was still enjoyable and I liked the nod you gave to Tangled by having Rapunzel paint Mia's room. How'd Anna drop Mia? A child that young could get brain damage! Okay, enough critiquing.
Is Elsa catatonic? If she ain't dead, then I'd say that's what's happened. Either that or the magic woman put her in some sorta magical trance that's making her mind think she's in real danger and subconsciously coating her body in ice to shield itself. Or, she's just sleeping.
Okay, that'd be dumb.
All-in-all, nice comeback from the previous chapter.
| RealDone Universe chapter 36 . 10/18/2015
This review might get mean. The cliffhanger was great, but the chapter overall was bad.
First of all, it was incredibly vague as your descriptions left a lot to the imagination with the readers having to assume what happened next. It was also random cuz Karleif and his mother's powers kept changing.
Why did they have cheetahs? Must've been a long, pointless journey to Africa since they have powers and didn't need them. Why were the animals so weak? Rapunzel definitely isn't strong enough to strangle a giant snake nor can cheetahs be defeated by a measly kick or toss. Why were all the henchmen a bunch of pushovers? They just stood by and did nothing most of the time and Anna took one out with a punch. No way a princess could defeat a trained guard that easily. Why did Karleif tell them their whole plan? Amateur mistake, I guess, but still.
Good idea, but poor execution.
| RealDone Universe chapter 35 . 10/14/2015
Okay, okay, that was so uncool. I’m laughing, but so uncool. Ha, who am I kidding? The part where Anna and Kristoff interrupted Rapunzel and Eugene banging was hilarious. Yeah, Kristoff was right; Eugene would like to go back to what he was doing – or more likely who he was doing. Man, that scene was awkward; at least let ‘em finish and leave in the morning or something.
Didn’t Anna watch Brave? If she did, she’d know not to trust witches. Of all people, I’d think Rapunzel would have reservations about witches since her oppression under Mother Gothel. Meh, maybe it’s just me, but I’d think she wouldn’t wanna trust any witch ever in her life; at least not so easily.
Maximus really made the security detail of Corona add frying pans to their weaponry? That’s kinda nuts and again – how do they freakin’ understand him? I’m probably asking too much from a kid’s movie anyway, but still.
I dunno what the big deal is ‘cuz Elsa Westergard sounds kinda cool to me. Well, marrying Bjorn might be bad for her, but I like the surname; reminds me of some kinda medieval stuff. Odd and Elsa are the same height? Coulda mentioned that earlier cuz I thought he was taller. Maybe it’s cuz I was half-mindedly picturing Balder, who’s a mountain essentially at 5’’9’ (can’t have a non – original character be my height), so maybe that’s why I was surprised. You know, no matter how many times I learn this, I keep mixing it up. Which one is the man and woman with the terms fiancé and fiancée? I thought the latter was the woman, but you called Bjorn that, so clarify it for me.
The people of Arendelle believe in God in your universe? I highly doubt that they did. Pretty sure they had some Norse god or Odin or something. It’s kinda weird to say the least and it feels kinda outta place.
Man, I wonder what I would do in Odd’s situation … bah, I wouldn’t be in his situation XD, but seriously, what would I do … probably look for some other chick or drink some beer. Mah, I don’t drink, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be that patient and stuff, waiting for a girl married to some other guy; I definitely wouldn’t be at the wedding. Thinking that things would work out between him and Elsa is unrealistically if it were in real life and you replaced Odd with me. Speaking of which, how did his father and Lars know about the wedding before it was announced or anything?
Why would Elsa call Bjorn “sir”? Isn’t she a queen, thereby putting her on the same social standing as him? Maybe she was trying to show respect, but it makes her look timid in this instance if you ask me; especially that she doesn’t need to and doesn’t like him at all.
Lemme guess, when they entered the main hall of the church, they saw a flying unicorn dressed like Miley Cyrus holding a bazooka, right? Okay, that was crazy as hell and this review’s getting too long.
All-in-all, this chapter was interesting and the cliffhanger was pretty sweet – pretty sure Karlotta’s got something to do with it.
| RealDone Universe chapter 34 . 10/12/2015
This chapter was interesting and the scene with Kristoff and Anna talking about Mia was heartwarming. It's nice to have some heat in this cold, dead literary heart I have. If only it could make me a nicer person to my characters. It won't.
I'm kinda interested in this Atlantian-esque villains you've got and they're plans - just as long as they aren't mermaids.
I wonder what Bjorn's motive is with him trying to be nice to Elsa. I'd kinda feel bad for him since his efforts only make things worse. Again, Elsa's being paranoid about thinking a war would be waged over her if she didn't accept to marry him. Also, it's weird the way she was trying to hide her frosting hands when her powers went outta control. Hiding them between her armpits would make more sense than pressing the against her chest 'cuz it makes it look like she was just groping herself.
It's odd that everyone's cool with Elsa's powers in your universe. I'd think at least one person would have a problem with it. Heck, Bjorn would definitely use it as a reason to take Arendelle by force.
It's funny, for some crazy reason, I pictured the kitchen boy dancing like Elvis when Elsa barged into the room and asked for hot chocolate.
Yeah, I may like Anna, but she's kinda an idiot since she's accepting the help of a random woman with powers.
All-in-all, good chapter and I'm sure the people in Corona are screwed.
| RealDone Universe chapter 33 . 10/8/2015
Yeah, I doubt cornflakes were invented by then. Maybe some kinda oatmeal or something, but definitely not the crispy, oven grilled (I think) flakes we have. Same with the time you had 'em eating with tomato sauce; highly doubt it was invented yet either. This chapter was interesting and I liked seeing Elsa being the cheerful one for a change and it's interesting that you put the breaks so that she did not become another Anna.
It's till weird that Bjorn would not mind Odd eating at the table with them. I still imagine him wigging out. Or did he leave the castle for some time 'cuz he wasn't mentioned for a while int he beginning.
That's an amusing reason to hate fish. I like fish; they aren't bad or anything.
Mermaids? So Mermaids are causing the sinking? I kinda wanted something else; sorry, but I look down on mermaids 'cuz of (no offense) how silly they are to me. I'll keep reading, but I think mermaids are a lil lame.
Anyway, this chapter was good, though I wonder how Anna saw anything when she was on the upper deck and how she stopped the ship in time when she got to the captain's cabin.
| RealDone Universe chapter 32 . 10/6/2015
This chapter made me think of Madagascar, especially the raft building part. It's interesting how you delved more into have Anna's childhood affected her life as an adult. You've represented her character very well.
Wait, Elsa and Odd banged? When'd that happen? Heh, Eugene's right, the beach is the best place to bang with all the itchy sand, crabs, outdoors and people watching. Yup, totally sexy.
How'd Maximus find a ship for them?
| RealDone Universe chapter 31 . 10/5/2015
This chapter was interesting. I kinda like how it's focused on Elsa. Kinda reminds me of the chapter I just posted. It was also agonizing since your Elsa is clearly one hundred percent human, ie the struggling after a simple fall. It was hard to read (not in a bad way) cuz you could feel her anguish.
Oh, so you're trying to show how perfect Odd is just because he's a perfect artist, huh? Well, Balder can buy paintings other people paint! Can't top that, huh? ... Okay, maybe that's not better, bu I've got my eye on you still ...
There's ice in Elsa's hair? I didn't notice that. Huh, I noticed an easter egg involving Anna that I'll reveal in my fic (I hope no one else saw it, since it was really quick), but I didn't notice that.
Elsa's got a little what, hmm? What was Odd talking about? Ah, he got himself in a tight situation, didn't he?
Heh, the air in the final scene was pregnant with an imminent kiss. I've tried my hardest (no pun intended) to avoid that, but I'm pretty sure I've failed to do that. Well, I'm a novice at romance stuff in writing in general, so, maybe I'll improve with time.
Anyway, I liked this chapter, it was pretty interesting, though the fight sequence was described a little bit disjointedly, which made for very slow paced fighting, which is never a good thing.
| RealDone Universe chapter 30 . 10/1/2015
Why'd two men make a boulder nearly smash Elsa? How'd Odd know where she was to come to save her. Wait a minute, boulder ... Balder. I knew it! Even before you knew Kingdoms and Stars, you were pre-slamming on it! I'm watching you ...
This chapter's interesting and I'm finding the drama between Elsa and Odd funny for some weird reason. I know I'm not supposed to find it funny, but it's kinda humorous to me that Odd's being whiny around Elsa. It's like he's sulking, keeping his distance from her and stuff. He even ran away like a little kid. Kinda thought he'd be manlier and just walk away slowly. Guess that's what love does to a guy ... or him specifically.
When'd Anna learn the magic song of Rapunzel's hair? I don't remember when she taught her that. Did Rapzunel bring Eugene back to life at the end of the film? I forgot what happened 'cuz all I remember was him lying on the ground, bleeding from his gut. Were Eugene and Rapunzel dead? If they were, wouldn't their corpses reek by now? I'm pretty sure they would.
Ah, there we go, I think I've got the distinct difference in our writing styles. While we both have dark elements in the stuff we write, yours is still on the lighter side, having mostly slapstick humour while mine broods a lot on occasion. I think ... I'm very indecisive when it comes to describing my writing style. That's correct, right? You've read some of my stuff, so you should know.
Is that the magician guy from earlier? Please say it is, cuz if he died, it was the weirdest ex machina death ever. Or I just forgot. Man, I'm hopeless sometimes :D