|Reviews for Broken|
| Miss Sarah Bearah chapter 1 . 7/27/2015
Well, you me good friend has touched a part that some have, but I haven't seen one like this, yet. This is story is adorable, and it was made out of a short one-shot, not easy but you did it, bravo!
| Taiga Flipsvilla chapter 1 . 7/24/2014
I love it!
| Barbieluvsu chapter 1 . 5/6/2014
Cool and cute and also really sweet
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/29/2014
IT WAS great! you should continue it
| freeasthebirds chapter 1 . 2/10/2014
Nice story! I wrote a story similar to this. I almost used the first sentence of your story, which is creepy. Similar words and story, you must be psychic!
| The Lavender NightshadeRose13 chapter 1 . 1/29/2014
This was a beautiful story! This moved me so sweetly. Great job on this!
| Montydragon chapter 1 . 12/30/2013
A bit out of character, but it was really sweet. I loved it.
| Concolor44 chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Eh. In-character, out of character ... if you can create a plausible scenario for WHY they are behaving the way they do, it doesn't really matter. Here? I don't feel as if you did that. Beast Boy especially seems ... off. Maybe if you had gone into more detail, if you had set up the scene as the culmination of events, it would have worked. His actions just seem a bit too pat. Stilted, perhaps. And having Raven make this sudden radical change in her approach to him doesn't ring true. Again, having several minor but seminal events leading up to it would work better.
The story can still be made to work, but you will have to do extensive rewriting. Beast Boy blaming himself for his parents' deaths is accurate. But he was VERY young, and he eventually DOES come to understand that there wasn't anything he COULD have done about it, even if he had been on the boat with them.
I think you should have a crack at it. Your grammar is better than most ('should of' should be 'should have') as is your spelling, so the technical aspects shouldn't trouble you. But expanding this story so that the characters' actions make TOTAL SENSE would be an excellent exercise, and I would encourage you to do so.
As an example of how you might tackle the situation, I would refer you to Lynx Klaw's fine tale, "Opportunity Knocks". Don't know if you are into yuri at all, but that is an extremely small portion of the story. Watch Jinx's various attempts at contacting Raven, and see how her character develops over time.
| Sharpclaws chapter 1 . 12/19/2013
Personally, I liked the story. The only thing I really found out of character was Raven asking if she had something on her face. I'd see her as asking "what?" "why are you looking at me li-"
| Kinnori1204 chapter 1 . 12/19/2013
Pretty good :)
Keep it up C:
| JasonVUK chapter 1 . 12/19/2013
That was beautiful _ truly was. :-) Sometimes it's good to just let it out. _
| Shiny Trixie Lulamoon chapter 1 . 12/19/2013
Trixie thinks it wasnt too bad. the only ooc noticable was beast boy x raven. Trixie says this because she dislikes canon shipping. exclude that and the story is, ok. just, ok. Not great, but not bad. just ok.
| Stella Bella 123 chapter 1 . 12/18/2013
Oh my gosh! I don't care if it was a little out of character (although the show never showed anything like this and in my opinion this would be in character in this situation). It was absolutely wonderful! I loved the raw emotion of Beast Boy!