|Reviews for Between lives|
| FireHand chapter 2 . 8/13/2003
Cool idea to have Gally as a trophy on the wall and then reunited with Ido. It would be interesting to see what goes through Ido's mind, if something's familiar about Gally and why he wants her to leave. And of course, I guess Nova didn't really die ;-)
| Elliot Bowers chapter 2 . 5/24/2003
_Okey-doke, what's to say? I'm standing here with two things to say. One thing to say is that no one's work is perfect. The other thing worth saying is that a person's work has good potential-that it can be excellent. I am going to say both of those things, giving details here. Read on, if you please...
_On one hand, I must point out the negatives. For one, the opening chapter was a bit sketchy. Just a bit more detail and contemplation would have added some flesh to the story-so to speak. For another, the formatting was a bit off: there was a bit too much spacing between the paragrahps. One blank line between paragraphs is enough. And try to work with a spell check. Hmm, are you angry yet?
_To cool that anger a bit, let me point out the positives. (It would be brutal and mean to just slam your work, wouldn't it?) Gally's initial situation was extremely intriguing, intriguingly sadistic. It went to show what sort of world she lives in. Along with that panoramic snapshot of the wider world, you also managed to show some initial depth to the characters. Yes, a good story is about characters and the worlds they live in. Now give us some more!
_So, into the future, I would suggest that some of the formatting and such be neatened. And with the base for the story set, bring us into the newest problems and life challenges that Gally now faces. Let's hear about what that freak Dr. Nova has for us. What's happening? Get to work, dude...