Reviews for Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Enjoyed this story a lot. Obviously it's easy to pick out inconsistencies in hindsight so if you ever do read this, don't take it personally. An epilogue would've been nice, but ultimately anyone who's read enough fan fic can easily imagine one so no worries there lol thanks for sharing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Quote: Amelia marched forward once the spell fired had stopped, "Aurora Tonks, Black, arrest those still alive and send them to the ministry holding cells. Aurora Tonks you will accompany them. Auror not Aurora, and Tonks is listed twice. I can understand not remembering exactly what was written 20 chapters ago, but that's literally 13 words apart. |
![]() ![]() ![]() "What makes you say basilisk?" Dumbledore asked with wide eyes. ... maybe because he told Harry and the rest of them last chapter ;) |
![]() ![]() ![]() so wheres the last chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() Surprised he’s throwing a pity party about he Amela/Sirius thing instead of being pissed off about the fact that Amelia turned her back on him and still had the gall to blmae Sirius for leaving. Fucking red headed cunt |
![]() ![]() ![]() Seems really stupid that this harry got hurt way more during this task than cannon harry did. Way more training and skills and you still have him fall for the same trick as cannon |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is this just a de-aged bellatrix lol |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sorry to hear about your brother, and I don't know how long ago it was, but hope you are doing alright. Thanks for the great story, and chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love your stories so much! Have you thoight of doing a Harry/Luna pairing? Could get awesome with it and how you portray Luna and her gift/belief in other creatures |
![]() ![]() ![]() so where is the epilogue? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nagini's death scene gave me the mental image of a snake in the microwave. Great story and a very befitting end to Voldemort. As for the epilogue, they're not strictly necessary but most Potter fics insist on them. Personally, I think a clean ending is better, it allows the reader to wonder. This was a wonderful story, Thank you for the time and effort you put into writing it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I've made my reviews strictly based on the content of the story to this point but now I am going to point out something I've noticed with your writing. You use the same word over and over again. A lot of times it feels more like I'm reading a rough draft than a finished work. You also need to break things up a bit, sometimes it feels like I'm reading a wall of text. ..."He wants to use the Ministry to draw out Voldemort to attack." Harry said and turned and left the room. He did not want to talk about it just yet. He left and summoned his broom to himself. He hopped on a shot off onto the skies above the Kiln. He flew at the highest speed that he could push his Firebolt. He flew in great sweeping arcs and loop-de-loops. He flew until the sun was nearly setting. He landed breathing hard and bent over his broom. He walked back up to the Kiln catching his breath... This is an excerpt from this chapter and it is a prime example of what I mean, if I were writing this it would look more like this. ..."He wants to use the Ministry to draw out Voldemort to attack." Harry scowled before he turned and left the room without another word. Harry did not want to talk about it just yet and he summoned his broom to himself as he stepped outside the manor. He hopped on it as soon as it arrived and shot off onto the skies above the Kiln. The teen flew at the highest speed that he could push his Firebolt, flying in great sweeping arcs and loop-de-loops. He flew until the sun was nearly setting trying to push all thoughts of his visit with Draco from his mind. Hours later Harry landed breathing hard and bent over his broom before he began to trudge back up to the Kiln... Same information I just broke it up a bit, anyway I just thought I would throw my two cents in, the story has a lot of potential but it could definitely benefit from a revision. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I thought Greyback was captured in Portugal. Also, you made Voldemort have too many horcruxes. He now has seven (plus the piece in his body). In the books, Voldemort had seven but the one inside Harry was an accident and he was unaware of its existence. The point was to have a seven-part soul so I doubt he would ruin that by splitting his soul into eight pieces. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The scene with Bella was satisfying, Neville really did deserve the privilege. The scene with Rodolphus was a bit silly, Harry didn't even bother to restrain him. That is just asking for trouble, especially if Pomfrey is healing him. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Excellent chapter., I am glad they have decided to get over themselves and work with Albus. I am not a fan of Dumbledore but the constant bashing was getting monotonous. Looking forward to the horcrux scavenger hunt.. |