naruto is pretty much a "nice guy" incel LMAO. this is unreadable trash.

So I understand that you rewrote this story and cut a lot of fluff.. but some things are oddly abrupt and not really explained.

The relationships seem to skip steps which makes them feel off and I don't really get what changed with the hokage's fight against orochimaru.

I like the story, but some scenes just take me out of it.

this why I hated and love naruto.

he just less the thugs live the ones who raped and turtured the land and people the same people who will just return or go else. where

F.

damn kakashi stupid he should've demanded the eye from Ao

Yeah, this rewrite is definitely better, the original one was too melodramatic.

I admit that the original fic had a good grammar in general but I remember it took literally the entire first chapter just to describe Kurenai's body which was annoying and boring as hell, the same goes with the rest of the novel and those unnecessary long descriptions/thoughts

I agree with your vision for the Naruto/Kurenai split at the end. I'm a big believer in 'living well is the best revenge' and it seems that's Naruto's approach. I enjoyed the story a lot but I do have complaints.

I didn't like the 'confrontation' with Sarutobi. Naruto's questions were poorly thought out and his feelings were entirely glossed over, it was a disservice to your story and everyone who took the time to read it.

Naruto's prowess as a shinobi needs to jump forward drastically, him being relative to his Shipuuden counterpart is inexcusable at 50 chapters and 310,000 words- You're pacing of his growth is far too stunted- for reference Shipuuden was 90,000 words total and you don't have the luxury of art panels to carry interest.

You claimed that the Naruto/Kurenai tag was a bit of a misnomer but the biggest misnomer is the title itself- Naruto's use of genjutsu has been disappointing, I hoped for more out of Naruto in that regard considering the implicit promise in the summary but it almost seemed like they story was telling me that learning genjutsu was a waste of time for Naruto, he would never be great at it and he's just going out his own way to stunt his own growth.

Clones/Rasengan/Kyuubi is an uncreative crutch too many writers fall back on and because of that combat scenes become repetitive and boring. At that point why wouldn't I read the thousands of other stories that do the exact same thing... or better yet, just watch the anime?

I know that continued sound harsher and harsher as I went on but I did enjoy most of the story. I will definitely check in on the sequel and hope for the best.

Damn. This is lame as fuck. It started off great tho. What the fuck?

Bro... Lame.

hello my friend, I need to thank you for this great story. I've been using these stories to learn english (my first language is Brazilain Portuguese), and your story provided me with an incredible amount of entertainment through this learning journey of my. Don't you ever give up on writing, you're really great.
Once again, thank you my friend.

Can't wait for an update

This is already orders of magnitude better than the original purely because you removed naruto’s neckbeard speech about kurenai’s beauty.

to bad ended at huge cliffhanger

! ! !

Thank you for a lovely read. But how dare you end it on a cliffhanger. Give us a nice and happy ending for Kure ai and Naruto (and Samui) I know you are making a sequel. Looking forward to that

I think I read the original but must admit i can't remember the difference between your story and the original so the next comment should be taken with a big grain of salt.
The story was in general really great. I think there where parts where you were a bit too vague on the details with story beats that were part of the original manga but was a background setting (I.e. the start of Suna-Oto invasion of Konoha). Character wise most of them were great. Most of them were consistent. Though Naruto's embodiment of Sasuke and the emo style isn't my favourite trope but his progression made sense.

I have no idea what fanon is but you shouldn't remove an emotional theme from the story because people might act weirdly. I think Kurenai's seduction mission of Naruto makes a good theme about the dilemma of what is expected of ninjas and what they think is right. I liked it!

About lemons. I personally like them and I must admit a fade to black would be really weird for me go read. If you don't want to write it then you shouldn't put the characters in such a position. You can have plenty of intimacy without leading up to such a scene. You can easily insinuate it and the readers will get it. If you want to lead up to the a lemon scene then focus more on the romantic without being graphic to the point of extreme pornography.

I think it was a good choice not leaning into the typical cheating storyline. Anxiety can be a strong emotion to invoke in the reader but should be used very sparingly or it will become annoying and lose any of its strength. The story has plenty of struggles.

Anyways, looking forward to more from you!