Reviews for Flocking Movement: Triad
Guest chapter 13 . 11/28/2014
This one is my fave of all your FMs. I enjoyed seeing other perspectives from the flock than just Desmond's, as great as you write him. Lucy, Jake, and Clay were a lot of fun.
Happy birthday tomorrow, Xazz.
Guest chapter 3 . 7/10/2014
Are the Proeathan shades in Clay's mind, and maybe even some angel ancestors, actively blocking Clay from remembering everything about the past? You said in oottt that the angels are obstructive and destructive, desperate for revenge on anyone. Maybe they're doing the same in Clay's mind as in the Apple? Thank you for resurrecting Clay, Xazz. He got such a raw deal in the game. This must give Lucy some peace too to know he's got another chance. You rock!
Guest chapter 2 . 7/10/2014
I completely love Triad! It's a nice break from Desmond. Don't get me wrong, I love your stories about him in Flocking Movement. But it's about a FLOCK of people. The others deserve center stage sometimes. Jake is dreamy. So good. I know he has Malik inside him, but it's hard to imagine Jake killing anyone. He's more the healer/doctor of the flock. This was a fantastic chapter, really established that there are two people inside of Jake's body. Malik's the only one who get away with calling Altair an idiot and not get killed for it. I completely love Jake! Thank you for him, Xazz!
Guest chapter 1 . 7/10/2014
Ugh! I wanted to cry for poor Lucy and hug her here! She is so a real person and has every right to follow her own dreams and know her own mind, not what the Proeathans programmed into her. You've written such a strong female lead for this series, Xazz! Thanks much for sharing it with us!
Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2014
Wow! Super! I want to see more stories about friendship of assassins. We are talking about Altair, Ezio and Desmond about the brotherly friendship and caring! I really liked. Can write anything else?
Guest chapter 7 . 7/9/2014
Nice! Update?:-)
Wren chapter 13 . 5/12/2014
Xazz, if you ever get elected to public office, the enemy should beware. You’re the most dangerous person I know of if you come up with ideas like the ones in the flocking movement series. You’ve just brought your series full circle, by tying it up with Duncan as the heart of Flocking Movement. The fact that the beating heart of this series stilled so long ago is terrible. That he used his father’s blade to symbolically kill himself was not lost on Andrew, I think. Duncan was saying it was Andrew who killed him. Wow, I bet Andrew’ll never recover.
I really hope Andrew doesn’t share that tape with Des, maybe thinking they’ll bond over shared grief for Duncan or something. It would destroy him. Des would be faced with the truth that he isn’t enough. He wasn’t enough for Duncan to want to continue living. He isn’t enough for Lucy, who says she wants to know if her feelings are real, but maybe secretly wonders if Des’ feelings are real for her or does he only see Lucy Prime? Des wasn’t enough for Andrew as a son. Des wasn’t enough to save the world whereas you’ve hinted that Duncan would have been. This all started and ended with Duncan.
Des is suffering possibly the worst case of survivor’s guilt ever in history. He was strong enough to go on living when Duncan gave up. He survived after almost every human died on the planet, thanks to Des. This is worsened by the fact that they died while he was trying to save them. He failed and became the villain of this piece. But he wasn’t broken. Only one thing could do that. Duncan. And the Proeathans know how to make duplicates. Des’ clone, plus 16 failed clones. Daniel had at least one clone. Lucy was a synthesized copy of the original. These people were all chosen to do the maximum damage to Des. Why not a Duncan clone? Would he be able to kill Duncan’s clone to save what is left of humanity? Would Alt be strong enough to let him? I fear that is the event neither Des nor Alt could ever recover from. The flock and Cain would not be able to put the broken pieces back together. I've finished Triad, and it was smashing! You completely blindsided me with the revelation that Duncan was the catalyst for all of this story. Well done, Xazz. On to One of the Terrible Things. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 11 . 5/11/2014
If Cain is the great balancer, did that play any part in the Ripper murders, Xazz? I know he went a bit mad there without Alt, but he says Alt unbalanced things by making two men immortal, Ezio and Hawk. If Cain brings balance (gah! I sound like Obi-Wan telling Anakin he's supposed to bring balance back to the force!), then maybe a price had to be paid to death itself in order to keep the world in balance. Like, some lives had to be sacrificed who wouldn't have normally died at that time? The prostitutes Cain killed. But maybe their lives weren't enough; Cain did say they were unimportant. He couldn't finish restoring balance because Alt put him on ice for a century, and so the apocalypse happened as sort of a karmic payback. Most of the world died to pay for the, then 3 immortal lives of Ezio, Hawk, and Jake as a way to balance it all out. I'm probably way off here, Xazz, and I'm sure you're rolling your eyes, but it is fun to speculate about your writing. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 9 . 5/11/2014
Xazz, a few chapters ago Hera apologized to Lucy for Juno killing her through Des. Near the end of 17th, Pluto warned Des to get Alt to change the block on his mind ‘cause the Proeathans could track him that way, but he never had a chance. I’m guessing Juno used that connection to somehow control Des’ body. Couldn’t she do that again? Control Des to kill synth Lucy when he rejoins the flock? Or could he resist Juno now? Maybe use that connection to control Juno and all the other AIs who aren’t on his side to inflict some damage on the Proeathans? Sabotage their systems or kill a few strategic Proeathans in command positions? Cain told Clay that Des is their master now. Plus, they’ve all broken their programming and have free will. Does that mean Juno and the others might not be Proeathan allies anymore? Or maybe they were reprogrammed.
I know your Cain doesn’t try to control the people he loves; just keep them from hurting themselves. But this whole synthetic playmate thing is a bad idea. Goes against his ideals of free will. Wouldn’t he be crushed if the new synth decides she doesn’t want to be with him? I’m not sure if he wants a synth Eve or a synth Adam. You didn’t mention his preference and I don’t want to assume you mean another synthetic female.
Hawk and Sarah. They still break my heart, Xazz. Even without his soul, Hawk still loves her enough he’d set her free if she’d been the synth instead of Lucy. Hey, I wonder why he hasn’t tried to make a secret deal with the ais to make a synth Sarah. Or the Proeathans try to make a synth Sarah to lure him over to their side. Who could really resist their heart’s desire? Since Hawk has no conscience, he might not be bothered about taking back what he once lost. Even thinking about Hawk being reunited with Sarah is making me upset. I can’t even… I have to… go away now and be upset in private. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 6 . 5/6/2014
Clay has a sad life in your FM saga, Xazz. He was resurrected from the dead. He’ll never suffer old age or disease. He lives peacefully on a tropical island by his own schedule, he has enough food to eat and clean water to drink, he has sun, sand and sea. He’s usually safe. It’s so tragic!
Clay’s whole life revolves around death. He was dead, and he doesn’t seem to quite know how to come back to life. He spends his days with shades of the dead. That’s not to say he isn’t doing anything important. Clay gives a voice and meaning to the dead. Since he was one of them, they seem to relate well to him. I love the way the dead always live again in FM, Xazz. Clay, Lucy, the flock, the Proeathans. Yet Clay chose death before. Can he really come back from that and find meaning in his long life? Does he fear death the way the Proeathans do? Pluto told Des at the end of FM they didn’t fear death anymore, yet the girl Clay killed was scared. They preserved themselves in cryostasis to try survive.
Hey, what if some of the flock’s Proeathan relatives are still alive? I know they’re related to the AIs, but what if some of their actual Proeathan relatives are still alive, preserved all those millennia. Waiting for their next chance. I wonder if they’d care about their human descendants, or the flock care about their Proeathan ancestors? Or would they hate each other and kill each other on sight? Except the Antichrist.
That’s a great twist, Xazz. Des being the Antichrist. Maybe he’s the great hope of both humans and Proeathans, not their doom. Christ could raise the dead. Maybe the Antichrist can do the same. His powers have never been defined because he’s never lived yet. Wow, Des could save synth Lucy from an early death if he can pull a Lazarus. That’d be so cool. He’s got to be able to do something special if he’s going to reconcile the human and Proeathan races. Not to mention winning over Clay. I hope Clay can get over his death and his hatred of the Proeathans and his anger at Des. It must be exhausting to Clay to live with so much fear and death from so many lifetimes past. I’m just blown away, Xazz, how you could take most people’s dream life, give it to Clay, and make it out to be a nightmare. Maybe rejoining the world will be good for him. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 2 . 4/12/2014
Xazz, I’ve always wondered how Jacob felt about all of this. He’s young, so the immortality hasn’t had time to wear him down yet like the ancestors. Malik complicates things. Jacob would’ve died without Alt interfering. Would Jacob have rather died than live with Malik in his head, sharing his mind and body? He must regret meeting Des sometimes. But he understands everyone in their little group. Jake is amazing with relationships and emotions. Like, Alt doesn’t get people. He struggles to know where Malik ends and Jacob begins. He struggles to separate synth Lucy in his mind from Lucy Prime. He never got Cain.
Jake is incredible, Xazz. He’s like the glue that keeps them all together. Alt leads, Ezio loves/fights, Hawk plans, Lucy protects, Clay listens, and Des prepares. In many ways Jake has become the conscience of their little flock. A role that Cain used to play for Alt, that he badly needs. He’s struggled without Malik or Maria, and made so many wrong choices. Poor Alt must feel like a failure. No wonder he doesn’t feel like he deserves Jake’s love. He doesn't think he deserves love or happiness, which all humans deserve. No one deserves pain. Yet Alt throws love away or breaks it because he doesn't know how to take care of it. He destroyed Maria's love when he accidentally got her killed, he threw away Cain's love, he threw away Duncan's love. The immortal aggravates me so much because you write him so well Xazz. You’ve broken my heart for poor Alt here, Xazz. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
Whoa. A Lucy chapter! Fantastic, Xazz! Lucy is so brave. She’s willing to undo all of her false memories and feelings to learn who she really is. How many people really face up to who they are? Most are too scared they’d see the ugly truth. Lucy said she owes it to Des to do this, but really, she owes it to herself. She isn’t Lucy prime, she isn’t an assassin or a templar or a proeathan toy. She’s a new woman who escaped her captors. She’s not running away, though. She’s running to something. Maybe Des, maybe not. Either way, she is her own woman. Strong, practical, and fierce about those she cares for. She has a home, a family of her choice, with the flock. Hawk should give Lucy a neural implant, too. It failed for Des, but it should work for her. She could strengthen her connection with her family. That makes me so happy, that Lucy has a human family. The Proeathans don’t care for humans. Growing up must have been a cold nightmare for her. After a surviving a beginning like that, Lucy can do anything. Also, the bennu was a self-created bird in Ancient Egyptian lore who helped create the world. Fits Lucy to a “T”. She’ll put back together what the Proeathans tore apart. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Guest chapter 5 . 3/4/2014
Fantastic story, Xazz. Alt's line about the immortals adapting as time moves on or becoming irrelevant applies to everyone, not just immortals. The Proeathans are stuck in the past, trying to make the world the way they remember it hundreds of thousands of years ago, ignoring the fact that humans have evolved their own society and are not slave labour anymore. It's the Proeathans who are irrelevant now. They can't move on and adapt to a changed world, only try to destroy it like they did before. You wrote once about how the Proeathans killed each other as readily as humans until they united against humans. They were no more advanced apparently then humans in their savagery, and they still aren't. Too bad the Proeathans don't have the intelligence and insight to see that. You rock, Xazz!
Guest chapter 7 . 2/23/2014
Have the proeathans made more copies of Lucy Prime? Either as clones, which u said’ll break eventually, or more synthetic Lucys? Cause if Lucy is dying at 30, they’d want to replace her with a younger model to keep Des happy. How about Des clone? He grew up in 5 years like Lucy. Does he have an expiry date? Before or after he breaks? How does Lucy feel about Cain and Clay? Wary and guilty, yeah, but what does she think of them?

Where are the fair haired and fair skinned humans? I know sacrifice is a proeathan thing, so maybe people with those traits have more proeathan blood or something and make better sacrifices?
Great humor, Xazz! Pluto was surprised they’re all still alive, and Ezio said it was a permanent condition. HAHA! Hope the Proeathans don’t take over AIs again or they’ll learn too much about the immortals. Hawk must have some back up plan to delete them if they’re about to be captured.

Appreciating your fic, Xazz! Thanks for all the time you’ve put into this work. It shows in the quality of the work. Also like your Blue Rose story. Helida is feisty. Also like Zealous Servant. Honestly, I never really noticed it until the last review by some Kingbird guy. He was so passionate about your work I had to check it out. Spayar. He is the most. Just that. The most. None compare to him. He’s a servant, a friend, a son, a brother, a mage. He kicks butt, often Von’s, and he is the Queen on your chess board. The most lethal, dangerous piece. Tallalsala has bitten off more than she can chew with this one. Great job, Xazz!
Guest chapter 11 . 2/21/2014
lucy is so hot taking down jake! has she asked cain or the ancestors for private lessons when they''e not training their army? If cain’s role is to bring balance to the world, then could he bring balance back to the flock, or is he destined to unbalance the flock? his presence seems to have unbalanced alt at the very least. It was cain who got alt back on his feet, now he’s shaken alt’s foundation. alt is still the leader, if he’s off balance, that’ll leave the whole group off balance. xazz, i love how your jake accepts alt, all his failings and how he hurts people he loves. jake’ll never get alt to admit to their relationship publicly. cain won’t tell the others, so jake should just kiss alt in front of the flock. put it out there. jake has needs that alt needs to meet. jake is openly gay and likes to hug and kiss. hiding it to make alt happy isn’t fair or healthy for jake. your funniest line was when jake told cain that alt believed jake had malik’s reborn soul! i couldn’t stop laughing! cain’s pause, and alt rolling his eyes! OMG, xazz! you are a marvellous author! thank you for all of your flocking movement stories!
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