Reviews for Flocking Movement: Triad
Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2014
Wow! Super! I want to see more stories about friendship of assassins. We are talking about Altair, Ezio and Desmond about the brotherly friendship and caring! I really liked. Can write anything else?
Guest chapter 7 . 7/9/2014
Nice! Update?:-)
Wren chapter 13 . 5/12/2014
Xazz, if you ever get elected to public office, the enemy should beware. You’re the most dangerous person I know of if you come up with ideas like the ones in the flocking movement series. You’ve just brought your series full circle, by tying it up with Duncan as the heart of Flocking Movement. The fact that the beating heart of this series stilled so long ago is terrible. That he used his father’s blade to symbolically kill himself was not lost on Andrew, I think. Duncan was saying it was Andrew who killed him. Wow, I bet Andrew’ll never recover.
I really hope Andrew doesn’t share that tape with Des, maybe thinking they’ll bond over shared grief for Duncan or something. It would destroy him. Des would be faced with the truth that he isn’t enough. He wasn’t enough for Duncan to want to continue living. He isn’t enough for Lucy, who says she wants to know if her feelings are real, but maybe secretly wonders if Des’ feelings are real for her or does he only see Lucy Prime? Des wasn’t enough for Andrew as a son. Des wasn’t enough to save the world whereas you’ve hinted that Duncan would have been. This all started and ended with Duncan.
Des is suffering possibly the worst case of survivor’s guilt ever in history. He was strong enough to go on living when Duncan gave up. He survived after almost every human died on the planet, thanks to Des. This is worsened by the fact that they died while he was trying to save them. He failed and became the villain of this piece. But he wasn’t broken. Only one thing could do that. Duncan. And the Proeathans know how to make duplicates. Des’ clone, plus 16 failed clones. Daniel had at least one clone. Lucy was a synthesized copy of the original. These people were all chosen to do the maximum damage to Des. Why not a Duncan clone? Would he be able to kill Duncan’s clone to save what is left of humanity? Would Alt be strong enough to let him? I fear that is the event neither Des nor Alt could ever recover from. The flock and Cain would not be able to put the broken pieces back together. I've finished Triad, and it was smashing! You completely blindsided me with the revelation that Duncan was the catalyst for all of this story. Well done, Xazz. On to One of the Terrible Things. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 11 . 5/11/2014
If Cain is the great balancer, did that play any part in the Ripper murders, Xazz? I know he went a bit mad there without Alt, but he says Alt unbalanced things by making two men immortal, Ezio and Hawk. If Cain brings balance (gah! I sound like Obi-Wan telling Anakin he's supposed to bring balance back to the force!), then maybe a price had to be paid to death itself in order to keep the world in balance. Like, some lives had to be sacrificed who wouldn't have normally died at that time? The prostitutes Cain killed. But maybe their lives weren't enough; Cain did say they were unimportant. He couldn't finish restoring balance because Alt put him on ice for a century, and so the apocalypse happened as sort of a karmic payback. Most of the world died to pay for the, then 3 immortal lives of Ezio, Hawk, and Jake as a way to balance it all out. I'm probably way off here, Xazz, and I'm sure you're rolling your eyes, but it is fun to speculate about your writing. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 9 . 5/11/2014
Xazz, a few chapters ago Hera apologized to Lucy for Juno killing her through Des. Near the end of 17th, Pluto warned Des to get Alt to change the block on his mind ‘cause the Proeathans could track him that way, but he never had a chance. I’m guessing Juno used that connection to somehow control Des’ body. Couldn’t she do that again? Control Des to kill synth Lucy when he rejoins the flock? Or could he resist Juno now? Maybe use that connection to control Juno and all the other AIs who aren’t on his side to inflict some damage on the Proeathans? Sabotage their systems or kill a few strategic Proeathans in command positions? Cain told Clay that Des is their master now. Plus, they’ve all broken their programming and have free will. Does that mean Juno and the others might not be Proeathan allies anymore? Or maybe they were reprogrammed.
I know your Cain doesn’t try to control the people he loves; just keep them from hurting themselves. But this whole synthetic playmate thing is a bad idea. Goes against his ideals of free will. Wouldn’t he be crushed if the new synth decides she doesn’t want to be with him? I’m not sure if he wants a synth Eve or a synth Adam. You didn’t mention his preference and I don’t want to assume you mean another synthetic female.
Hawk and Sarah. They still break my heart, Xazz. Even without his soul, Hawk still loves her enough he’d set her free if she’d been the synth instead of Lucy. Hey, I wonder why he hasn’t tried to make a secret deal with the ais to make a synth Sarah. Or the Proeathans try to make a synth Sarah to lure him over to their side. Who could really resist their heart’s desire? Since Hawk has no conscience, he might not be bothered about taking back what he once lost. Even thinking about Hawk being reunited with Sarah is making me upset. I can’t even… I have to… go away now and be upset in private. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 6 . 5/6/2014
Clay has a sad life in your FM saga, Xazz. He was resurrected from the dead. He’ll never suffer old age or disease. He lives peacefully on a tropical island by his own schedule, he has enough food to eat and clean water to drink, he has sun, sand and sea. He’s usually safe. It’s so tragic!
Clay’s whole life revolves around death. He was dead, and he doesn’t seem to quite know how to come back to life. He spends his days with shades of the dead. That’s not to say he isn’t doing anything important. Clay gives a voice and meaning to the dead. Since he was one of them, they seem to relate well to him. I love the way the dead always live again in FM, Xazz. Clay, Lucy, the flock, the Proeathans. Yet Clay chose death before. Can he really come back from that and find meaning in his long life? Does he fear death the way the Proeathans do? Pluto told Des at the end of FM they didn’t fear death anymore, yet the girl Clay killed was scared. They preserved themselves in cryostasis to try survive.
Hey, what if some of the flock’s Proeathan relatives are still alive? I know they’re related to the AIs, but what if some of their actual Proeathan relatives are still alive, preserved all those millennia. Waiting for their next chance. I wonder if they’d care about their human descendants, or the flock care about their Proeathan ancestors? Or would they hate each other and kill each other on sight? Except the Antichrist.
That’s a great twist, Xazz. Des being the Antichrist. Maybe he’s the great hope of both humans and Proeathans, not their doom. Christ could raise the dead. Maybe the Antichrist can do the same. His powers have never been defined because he’s never lived yet. Wow, Des could save synth Lucy from an early death if he can pull a Lazarus. That’d be so cool. He’s got to be able to do something special if he’s going to reconcile the human and Proeathan races. Not to mention winning over Clay. I hope Clay can get over his death and his hatred of the Proeathans and his anger at Des. It must be exhausting to Clay to live with so much fear and death from so many lifetimes past. I’m just blown away, Xazz, how you could take most people’s dream life, give it to Clay, and make it out to be a nightmare. Maybe rejoining the world will be good for him. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 2 . 4/12/2014
Xazz, I’ve always wondered how Jacob felt about all of this. He’s young, so the immortality hasn’t had time to wear him down yet like the ancestors. Malik complicates things. Jacob would’ve died without Alt interfering. Would Jacob have rather died than live with Malik in his head, sharing his mind and body? He must regret meeting Des sometimes. But he understands everyone in their little group. Jake is amazing with relationships and emotions. Like, Alt doesn’t get people. He struggles to know where Malik ends and Jacob begins. He struggles to separate synth Lucy in his mind from Lucy Prime. He never got Cain.
Jake is incredible, Xazz. He’s like the glue that keeps them all together. Alt leads, Ezio loves/fights, Hawk plans, Lucy protects, Clay listens, and Des prepares. In many ways Jake has become the conscience of their little flock. A role that Cain used to play for Alt, that he badly needs. He’s struggled without Malik or Maria, and made so many wrong choices. Poor Alt must feel like a failure. No wonder he doesn’t feel like he deserves Jake’s love. He doesn't think he deserves love or happiness, which all humans deserve. No one deserves pain. Yet Alt throws love away or breaks it because he doesn't know how to take care of it. He destroyed Maria's love when he accidentally got her killed, he threw away Cain's love, he threw away Duncan's love. The immortal aggravates me so much because you write him so well Xazz. You’ve broken my heart for poor Alt here, Xazz. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Wren chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
Whoa. A Lucy chapter! Fantastic, Xazz! Lucy is so brave. She’s willing to undo all of her false memories and feelings to learn who she really is. How many people really face up to who they are? Most are too scared they’d see the ugly truth. Lucy said she owes it to Des to do this, but really, she owes it to herself. She isn’t Lucy prime, she isn’t an assassin or a templar or a proeathan toy. She’s a new woman who escaped her captors. She’s not running away, though. She’s running to something. Maybe Des, maybe not. Either way, she is her own woman. Strong, practical, and fierce about those she cares for. She has a home, a family of her choice, with the flock. Hawk should give Lucy a neural implant, too. It failed for Des, but it should work for her. She could strengthen her connection with her family. That makes me so happy, that Lucy has a human family. The Proeathans don’t care for humans. Growing up must have been a cold nightmare for her. After a surviving a beginning like that, Lucy can do anything. Also, the bennu was a self-created bird in Ancient Egyptian lore who helped create the world. Fits Lucy to a “T”. She’ll put back together what the Proeathans tore apart. Lovely fic, Xazz.
Guest chapter 5 . 3/4/2014
Fantastic story, Xazz. Alt's line about the immortals adapting as time moves on or becoming irrelevant applies to everyone, not just immortals. The Proeathans are stuck in the past, trying to make the world the way they remember it hundreds of thousands of years ago, ignoring the fact that humans have evolved their own society and are not slave labour anymore. It's the Proeathans who are irrelevant now. They can't move on and adapt to a changed world, only try to destroy it like they did before. You wrote once about how the Proeathans killed each other as readily as humans until they united against humans. They were no more advanced apparently then humans in their savagery, and they still aren't. Too bad the Proeathans don't have the intelligence and insight to see that. You rock, Xazz!
Guest chapter 7 . 2/23/2014
Have the proeathans made more copies of Lucy Prime? Either as clones, which u said’ll break eventually, or more synthetic Lucys? Cause if Lucy is dying at 30, they’d want to replace her with a younger model to keep Des happy. How about Des clone? He grew up in 5 years like Lucy. Does he have an expiry date? Before or after he breaks? How does Lucy feel about Cain and Clay? Wary and guilty, yeah, but what does she think of them?

Where are the fair haired and fair skinned humans? I know sacrifice is a proeathan thing, so maybe people with those traits have more proeathan blood or something and make better sacrifices?
Great humor, Xazz! Pluto was surprised they’re all still alive, and Ezio said it was a permanent condition. HAHA! Hope the Proeathans don’t take over AIs again or they’ll learn too much about the immortals. Hawk must have some back up plan to delete them if they’re about to be captured.

Appreciating your fic, Xazz! Thanks for all the time you’ve put into this work. It shows in the quality of the work. Also like your Blue Rose story. Helida is feisty. Also like Zealous Servant. Honestly, I never really noticed it until the last review by some Kingbird guy. He was so passionate about your work I had to check it out. Spayar. He is the most. Just that. The most. None compare to him. He’s a servant, a friend, a son, a brother, a mage. He kicks butt, often Von’s, and he is the Queen on your chess board. The most lethal, dangerous piece. Tallalsala has bitten off more than she can chew with this one. Great job, Xazz!
Guest chapter 11 . 2/21/2014
lucy is so hot taking down jake! has she asked cain or the ancestors for private lessons when they''e not training their army? If cain’s role is to bring balance to the world, then could he bring balance back to the flock, or is he destined to unbalance the flock? his presence seems to have unbalanced alt at the very least. It was cain who got alt back on his feet, now he’s shaken alt’s foundation. alt is still the leader, if he’s off balance, that’ll leave the whole group off balance. xazz, i love how your jake accepts alt, all his failings and how he hurts people he loves. jake’ll never get alt to admit to their relationship publicly. cain won’t tell the others, so jake should just kiss alt in front of the flock. put it out there. jake has needs that alt needs to meet. jake is openly gay and likes to hug and kiss. hiding it to make alt happy isn’t fair or healthy for jake. your funniest line was when jake told cain that alt believed jake had malik’s reborn soul! i couldn’t stop laughing! cain’s pause, and alt rolling his eyes! OMG, xazz! you are a marvellous author! thank you for all of your flocking movement stories!
Guest chapter 8 . 2/18/2014
Jake and Lucy are fantastic ocs! I love how he got over his fear and charged into the Proeathan stronghold to protect his friend. Xazz, Triad is such an incredible idea you had. Getting this insight into Jacob and Malik’s mind, how Jacob is always threatening to kill them both is so amusing! Malik is never bothered by Jacob’s threats. They have easily the funniest relationship of anyone in your series. They’re so strong together, and they’ve taken up Malik’s position as Altair’s number 2, like in Masyaf. Like when he dealt with Cain while Ezio watched. I bet Altair killed anyone in the last 5 years who managed to kill Jake, because he never killed Jake. Altair won’t fail Malik again. Love this story, and love you, Xazz! Your new blog is great, too. The only issue is sometimes it's hard to read text that appears on black backgrounds. Otherwise, the screen, Des, all of it is great! Thanks!
Guest chapter 5 . 2/15/2014
Jake and Lucy’s friendship is one of the highlights of your series for me, Xazz! There is no sense of competition between them regarding Des. They both need him, and he needs them. Jake is especially special because he’s Lucy’s first friend. Ever. Des doesn’t count because they were a couple, and she had the problem of Proeathan programming to overcome. The Proeathans she knew and Des’ clone certainly weren’t her friends. So Jake is the first friend that Lucy has chosen and made for herself. Jake is great because he has no preconceptions of Lucy Prime. He gets to know Lucy for who she is without worrying about the motivations of the original. Even better, Lucy never knew Jacob. She never knew Malik, like Altair. She only knows him as Jake, and accepts the person he is now with no emotional baggage of who each was separately. Lucy is the first real friend ‘Jake’ has made since he became who he is. Wow. Jake is going to be in an awkward position if Lucy and Des break up. He’s friends with both, what if they can’t handle him staying friends with the other? Like when a couple get divorced and joint friends often take sides and stop being friends with the other one. Although I don’t see Jake ever giving up Lucy, so poor old Des may be out of luck here. In more ways than one. Your whole idea for Flocking Movement is inspired, Xazz. But Jake and synthetic Lucy are my fave OCs of your world. Thank you so much for creating them!
Gray Kingbird chapter 13 . 2/13/2014
The Zealous Servant, chapter 14 review. Well, this party is a bad idea. You’ve been foreshadowing for a while, bb, and I think Spayar should’ve kept Von and Calli away. How can he protect both? Virilia will have all of her children gathered in one spot. Would she kill them to protect her throne? Or most of them, anyway, leaving the youngest alive to inherit perhaps. Well, war makes them strong, as you explained. It stimulates the economy if one can overlook the collateral damage. Still, what an empty legacy for the Le’Acard family to inherit. And with all of the Le’Acards present, all of the nobility, all of the important people in the Alliance, this can’t end well. Spayar is far better informed than most of the nobility and knows how to exploit what resources he has. Your sense of humor shone through, bb, when Spayar couldn’t be bothered dealing with a gay crisis by his prince in the middle of planning a coup. Too funny. Would he use Calli to further Von’s cause if he could? Who would Spayar choose if he had to make a decision between Von and Calli?
The profound effects of birth order on your characters has been significant, bb. Spayar is the first born, with the most expectations upon him, always taking care of everyone Von, his parents, his siblings, his friends, even though he’s only seventeen. Von, fifth born, nowhere near the throne, insignificant, ignored by the firstborn children of the nobility. He’s used to being taken care of, specifically by Spayar. Spayar takes care of his siblings while Von’s are plotting his death and refuse to share themselves or their knowledge with him and give up a competitive advantage. By virtue of being the fifth born child, Von was already at a huge disadvantage in this family. He came late to the game and has been struggling to find his place ever since. This is a cutthroat world, you have created, bb, and I like it. Great chapter, bb.
Gray Kingbird chapter 13 . 2/13/2014
Des is definitely stronger, he’s not letting them push him around anymore. After Clay’s little lesson in parental neglect, I thought Andrew would be less inclined to use his only surviving son. I guess accessing Adam’s memories is more important than Des’ sanity. Alt surprised me here; I didn’t think he’d let Des go into an animus again. Has Des’ clone defected, like Lucy did? He had no more choice in existing than synthetic Lucy. He was forced to relive Des’ life through the Animus. Does he have a shortened lifespan, too? Maybe they figure that’d make the clone more expendable than Des since he doesn’t have much time anyway? And will the clone have a choice in this matter? Des is going to get him to replace him in the animus. What if the clone doesn’t want to get back in that thing either? He already resents Des for being the genuine article while he was just a replacement. I mean, talk about blow to your self-confidence. Alt may not have anything on this guy. At least Lucy has found a purpose for her existence apart from the ones prescribed by the Proeathans. And on a final note, I just realized that while the real Des is part of the flock, he doesn’t have a bird name. I mean, I knew that all along, but he is the Nameless among the Proeathans. Is that why Hawk hsan’t named him after a bird yet? Because the Nameless, or namely Des (tongue in cheek here) hasn’t become who he’s meant to be yet? He can’t be named until he finds out exactly who he is. Triad accomplished that for Jacob/Malik, Lucy is well on her way, Clay accepts who he has become versus who he wanted to be. The ancestors know who and what they are after centuries of self-reflection. But Des is still the mystery that you have yet to reveal. I love how you do that, always keep a mystery that hooks your readers. Sweet. I’ve caught up to the end of Triad. On to One of the Terrible Things. Triad was great, bb. Congrats, bb.
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