|Reviews for The Meek Shall Inherit the Babes!|
| Amai Mafin chapter 8 . 4/22
I think this chapter could be better
Maybe if Noah still saying No to Courtney she could give him all (you know maybe he could see her naked and all that she don't want to do)
The valedictorian is something important and loose it just for sex is...stupid
He could make her do MORE for that prize if she REALLY wanted it not just that
Noah should use manipulation sometime if you write another story or chapter about these two
| Numbervania chapter 11 . 11/5/2016
Just finished reading through this entire fic and I highly admire everything that's taken place within the inter-connected episodes/chapters.
A few things to point out...
"realeza" is actually the Spanish word for "royalty", "princesa" is "princess", and yet "Realeza" still works as a fitting last name for Courtney though for some reason I prefer thinking of her being named Courtney Ramirez (or "Ramirez").
The Galeria Mall, so you're tieing TD to its sister spin-off show 6-Teen, everything worked believably well in meshing the two franchises.
When the little kid's mom asked Caitlyn, "are you the girl who hit my son?", I feel that the readers or Caitlyn could have said "that depends, is your son the kid who hit the lemonade stand employee first?"
Kind of surprised Heather didn't run into Gwen since the goth also works at the Maple Cinema movie theater.
Actually, the first thing I noticed about Chapter 11 is the fact you've brought in Redonculous Race characters into this overarching fic before any Pawketew Island characters. I'm okay with you developing Mike's alternate personas into family relatives instead. Is Veto's girlfriend Maria, Anne Maria? That would make it so the B/Beverly and Lightning are the only Revenge characters missing unless you also count Molly, Dawn's original concept as a separate character.
Really interested to see how this overall fic continues whenever the next chapter's posted.
| jack links chapter 7 . 9/22/2016
This! this is what i'm talking about.
Granted a chunk of it still feels like filler. But i think its because there's just so much of it.
You know looking through this, i think i'm starting to see a pattern here... Dont' take this the wrong way, but i think you got a thing regarding how you portray girls in this story. As every chapter, or at least a good chunk of it as A-holes.
Take this chapter for example. Every girl in here is kind of a bitch. Granted thats kinda the corner stone of heather's personality, but even bridgette kinda went overboard. Hell, there's even Sierra. Though, like heather, thats a pretty big part of who she is and it was a shell shocked flashback from cody of all people.
So yeah, doing a double take maybe this is all just my imagination. Just be careful though. I don't want this site to black list ya over some misguided PC BS.
Great lemon though.
| Jack links chapter 6 . 9/22/2016
Gotta say man, not to be a buzz kill, but this one? yeah, just above last chapter.
No matter how you spin this one, the girls just come off as A-holes, and not in a fun way.
Granted the lemons were Amazing- thats a 6-7 on the 'sexcellent' scale... or i got it backward and amazing is an 8 and 'sexcellent' is the 6-7? I don't know i'm pretty hammered right now.
Either way, i can tell you're improving, but still a work in progress. Kinda like a kid riding a scooter. You know he's working his way up to a 10 speed, and bless his heart, he still looks like a dick.
| jack links chapter 5 . 9/22/2016
this one? total filler. to me it felt like you tried so hard to establish that this story isn't just a bunch of separate short stories but connected that you fudged it on the actual quality of the chapter.
You Batman Vs Superman'd this chapter buddy. Sorry dude, you just did.
... and yes, i am kinda PO'd that there's no lemon.
| Jack links chapter 4 . 9/22/2016
Now this is more like it, the fourth chapter and you can already tell the difference in experience. The story flows much easier, the lemon much smoother and HOTTER. Excellent world building too.
Woop! sorry, i meant sexellent. Yuup, i'm using that word to describe this story's lemons.
on a scale of 1- 10, a 'Sexelent' would be a solid 8. A 'i need some new boxers' would be a 10. 'Meh' is a 4-5, and a 'Boo' would be maybe a 1.
So yeah, solid 8 on this one.
| jack links chapter 3 . 9/22/2016
Okay, we kinda backtracked. This one was long again, it also felt like a good chunk of it was filler like chapter 1. It also felt like someone else took up the pen with this one.
Hey, it was still a solid lemon and lime in my opinion. nice work none the less.
| jack links chapter 2 . 9/22/2016
DAAAAWWWWMMM, that was hot.
Who knew deva dakota had the miley syrus in her do do that shit huh? Sam's a lucky SOB. Keep it up.
| jack links chapter 1 . 9/22/2016
okay, i'm gonna be straight with ya... this was long.
Don't get me wrong, it was still great. But it just seemed like a good chunk of it was just filler. First time writing this kinda thing? It show's but still, 'sex'ulent start.
| The Brod Road chapter 11 . 9/20/2016
Well, I don't mind the idea of Mike being without his split personalities. It's something different while keeping his default personality in character. I doubt you're the first to try and tackle the idea of a normal Mike. Lol. How you presented him here was pretty good. Lol at the Jersey Shore jokes. I assume one of the new couples to the story will be Mike/Zoey.
Lindsay being Lindsay is always good comedy here. XD Wonder if she'll end up with anybody in this story (without her being tricked into sex, of course).
Well written as always. Looking forward to more of the boat house party, especially the... ahem... "after-party". Heh. Rock on, dude!
| Guest chapter 11 . 9/17/2016
Great chapter, as always. You know, i theorise that as soon as Dakota enters with Zoey, the other group of friends will go to her, and a lot of drama will ensue.
As for Mike, i must say that it's a risky move, but i take it over the way his MPD was portrayed in the show. It was too cartoony and tasteless.
So, Tyler and Lindsay broke up because he had to go to college, huh? I know you're tired of hearing this, but please, write a chapter in which Tyler meets Scarlett at college and she becomes his private tutor. From that, you can do the opposite of this story and make the nerdy GIRLS hook up with the hunks.
| TDDolphin chapter 11 . 9/14/2016
Holy Jesus shit, dude! Cody x Bridgette, Gwen x Cameron, DJ x Heather, Tom x Jen (Excellent choice btw), Lindsay and RockSpud? ALL in the same chapter? And Mike at long last debuts? and Zoey, Dakota, and more than likely Sam (and hopefully at long last Harold), all in Part 2? It's an All-Star party here in Meek, and I f***in' love it! The only couple missing was Noah x Courtney, but then their not really a couple right now, so it's understandable why they'd be missing.
There was a lot of stuff to love in this chapter. From all that happened during Gwen, Cameron and Mike's car ride to the boathouse, to DJ and Heather's coming out as dating celebration. Pretty much everything in this story was fantastic. Considering what Meek is about, I'm actually surprised that there was no lemon this time around. Not that I'm complaining cause this offered a nice moment to just see the TD cast hanging out with each other.
Gotta say though, I'm not sure I like Lindsay giving Scott her number or a hug. Pretty sure that's just leading to something where Scott will get his ass kicked, so it won't be that bad. But, you know me, I adore Lindsay and despise Scott. Her scoring that backwards bulls-eye was hilarious though, as were all the times she missed or hit the other dart boards. I also really loved Heather and Lindsay's conversation, and how it showed how much Heather has softened since dating DJ. That was good character development. Mike talking about his relatives while Cody and Cameron comically owned their girlfriends in pool was also great. I'm actually fine with the Multiple Personalities being relegated to Mike's relatives. Meek is an AU story, so you can get away with something like that. Vito and Anne Maria being on Jersey Shore was fitting.
So yeah, this was an awesome chapter Rufus! I can't wait for Boat House Part 2! Hope you're doing alright :)
| acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 11 . 9/14/2016
Hey, very good idea to adapt Mike's personalities in this story.
Also, nice way to show Lindsay's emotional smarts. While she's a stereotypical bimbo, Lindsay is actually very good at giving sensitive advice and cheering people up.
Keep the good writing.
| CLake chapter 11 . 9/14/2016
Nice :) Thanks buddy
Can't wait until Mike and Zoey show each other how they really feel about each other ;) 3
| ThatFacelessDude chapter 10 . 5/11/2016
Been waiting for an update to this story for quite a while, and boy was it worth the wait!
Let me get the few negative aspects out of the way first. As you admitted yourself in your closing notes, that ending suffers from a whole lot of tone whiplash. It just shifted too dark and too fantastic way too quickly. The descriptions are pretty good, though, even if they're out place. Some nice, decorative language. A bit too flowery sometimes, for example when you mention the sun's "rays of cosmic energy". The word "cosmic" seems rather unnecessary and flagrant in the sentence, since "cosmic" is something more typically associated with technical scientific language, which is rather out of place on a non-technical text or a sci-fi story. I know, it's a nitpick, but those kinds of unnecessary words do pop-up in the more descriptive sections a tad too often. Second major issue is that DJ seems off. A bit too confident. I understand if you didn't want to make him the ridiculously cowardly mouse that the show's later seasons turned him into (I wouldn't either), but I think you went too far in the other direction. He's too dominant. Perhaps it's a subjective interpretation, but I'd see DJ as more of an eager submissive, than any form of dominant, given his personality on the show. On a final negative note, the lemons tend to drag on for a bit too much, since they're a bit too stuffed with description. Sometimes it's best to give a simple, un-detailed description of the scene and let the audience fill in the blanks as they picture it.
As for the good elements, let me say off the bat that they do outweigh the cons. I like your writing and I like this story a lot. In contrast with the actual smut, which dragged on a bit, the pre-lemon teasing between DJ and Heather in the movie theatre was much better, since it didn't last too long. It was explicit enough to hook you, but didn't stretch out with mundane details and descriptions. Heather's change of heart worked really well. After having things go badly for her in the last few chapters, culminating with the endless downpour of bad karma at the beginning of the episode, it makes sense that she'd re-evaluate her recent life choices (i.e. being a jerk). The aforementioned avalanche of bad luck that Heather goes through was pretty funny to read, and it's always nice when characters from the other unrelated chapters (in this case, Sam) pop-up, since it makes the world the story is set in feel more alive. I also thought the scene with the janitor was pretty funny (Was Bridgette convincing the guy to clean the bathroom and then sending him a dirty pic in one of the previous chapters? I don't remember). Despite what I said earlier, I don't think the lemon was bad. It was actually pretty good; just a little too descriptive and long. If you trimmed a little off the top, it would be excellent. Even if I think DJ is a bit too confident, his banter with Heather was very cute, which is what you want for this type of story.
Overall, it's still really good, fun stuff, with only a few issues. I'm looking forward to seeing this story continue, as well as "Second Chance at Love". Great work!