|Reviews for The British Reformation|
| NarutoSpardaUzumaki chapter 12 . 1h
I'm interested in the alternate ending but I don't think I'll read it, not soon anyway. I rather liked the way your story evolved and a three-way romance doesn't fit with me. Anyway, good fic
| Dalero chapter 11 . 4/6
I thought I recognized you as an author and I was right- I've read several of your earlier works. I finally took a look at the HP/Fleur pairings out there and I was rather shocked at how few there were and even less of those were quality writing. I'm pleased that you put your pen to work here to breathe life into what is definitely one of my preferred pairings and one of the top five or so stories that I find to be incredibly well done. I like that this was taken to occur outside of the tournament and that it wasn't an instant connection. The sun tan lotion scene stuck out as an interesting and well thought out scenario. There could have been a bit more character development but that's just someone wanting to read more quality moments with one of his preferred pairs.
The conclusion was also excellent, Fleur having moments of retrospection in regards to her choices, and while losing a part of her heritage was a blow, she acknowledges that every choice has consequences and that she'd make the same decision once again. The trend in HP fics seems to be towards harems/multi pairings so 'everybody' can win, I find that your inner 'fluff' is better released when focused on one person, and Fleur has a lot of potential in that aspect.
I look forward to reading future stories by you as well, who knows, maybe this pair will come up once more!
| Michael Bourne chapter 12 . 4/3
You expect harry to forgive just like that sorry beaver girl and rodents it ain't gonna happening
| DylanL chapter 12 . 3/29
i loved the story. like with your other works that i have read, i felt the chapters were a little long but i know if i was reading this as it was being written i would love having long chapters so im not really complaining about them. i think the idea to cancel magic in britian for a short time was a brilliant way to get rid of voldy and i liked the parallels between this ward and the atomic bomb, in fact when i was reading the paragraph about the test they did on the island off greece, i made the connection before i read the part about harry making the connection too. the epilogues were both well done, i admit to wishing to know what harry got on his birthday in this one but i know it is rated T. i really liked the way you demonstrated the pros and cons of each way through the sacrifices they made, i would have liked to see the part about where each of the friends are in the harry/fleur ending especially what happened to ginny. i am also curious about the changes in everyone but especially ron, between the 2 endings. i think it would have been interesting if you had a harry/fleur/gabrielle ending since harry could pass on the line with girls from 2 females and fleur said she would have preferred to include her sister instead of ginny. i dont know if you ever planned that kind of ending but i think it would have been interesting. i wonder why fleur only wanted 1 daughter though. also i assume that fleur had triplets since she couldnt have anymore children after taking that potion, but you never stated their ages like you did her daughter and ginny's youngest in this epilogue.
| Guest chapter 6 . 3/9
I don't buy the romance between them. Poor development specially on Harry's part. No more use in reading further, I've lost all interest...dropped
| mumlock chapter 12 . 3/10
Nice story altogether. Thank you for your work.
| timkaylor885 chapter 12 . 2/28
Excellent story. And I like how you put both scenarios in. It made it more interesting
| Blik chapter 5 . 2/11
I'm really liking this story so far, but I thought I'd mention that "Bienvenue" means "Welcome", as in a greeting. The phrase you're looking for is "de rien". Literally, it was nothing. :)
| James018 chapter 12 . 2/9
I liked that in some sense, this was a parody of many independent Harry/character bashing fics. You presented a Harry rightfully angry with the way he'd been treating, while keeping Dumbledore, the Weasleys and Hermione in character and with good intentions. That's something you don't see often. Also, you showed that Harry isn't perfect, and his actions have real consquences - it's not a perfect, rainbow-filled happy ending.
I would have liked Harry to reconcile eventually with Ron and Hermione, who I felt were hard done by. But I guess that didn't fit with the character you created for Harry, so fair enough.
Thanks for sharing!
| Rexnos chapter 12 . 1/29
I found this story to be a distinct step up from "Harry Potter and the Unexpected Power," which was the most recent story I read of yours. It was actually quite interesting to see how your writing had evolved, even over just a handful of months. I felt like your characters were more distinctly developed and robust, though the increased length of this story might explain this change. In addition, there was significantly more conflict in this story, both internal and external.
As for suggestions in where to improve, I would suggest lining up your internal and external conflicts into more climactic and explosive resolutions. In this story Harry's internal conflict exploded in the beginning of the story before dying off very harshly. It resurfaced only occasionally to bite at him, but it never really exploded a second time. This was acceptable due to the seriousness of your external conflict within the story, but the most incredible climaxes in literature always sync both internal and external conflict to resolve nearly simultaneously.
You could also benefit from a little more imagery, but there are few fan fiction authors who wouldn't. Try considering your five senses while writing a scene and imaging what your characters are experiencing at a more visceral level. It can be tough to fit such details into the story in a way that doesn't negatively impact the overall flow, but it can really benefit your writing when done properly.
In any case, that felt a little too negative for my tastes, apologies if you felt so as well. I try to leave reviews which help aspiring authors improve their writing. Allow me to reiterate that I enjoyed your story greatly and look forward to your future endeavors.
| Snorkackle chapter 5 . 1/24
interesting so far, if a bit dull
| Tenebris Domina chapter 12 . 1/21
Wow! I loved this fic! As for the two different endings I must say that number two fit the story a lot better than number one - when I read number one I felt like it was very short and it almost as if you just wrote something that would be different than the second one... It didn't seem right.
I really enjoyed it :)
| Tomon chapter 12 . 12/3/2014
Well, while I enjoy well written harem (and I cound even just two girls as a harem) I mostly prefer Fleur to be alone in relationship with Harry. Probably due to the fact how few stories are there with her. So I surprise even myself that this alternative ending which included Ginny is preferable and better for me :) It's pretty interesting since I like both ending very much, that's not very often if there are more than one. I think part of the reason is probably than mostly if it's not a big harem it's a Hermione who join Fleur and I dislike that...
Another bonus is that you let them remain straight or pretty much so. They love Harry but they just like each another and don't have that type of relationship between them. It's even harder to make it work this way and it showed. Still they try hard and thanks to that they have good life.
So awesome story with not one but two amazing endings :) Good job!
| Tomon chapter 11 . 12/3/2014
This was really wonderful story, I think you managed to capture fed up Harry very well. You also got the bonus for Fleur being the love interest since it's mine second most favorite after Ginny but with much less fiction written. Third place belongs to Daphne so there is no wonder I love your stories :-D Since I also enjoy every other girl well writen with the worst choice being Hermione it's easy to practically devour your work :)
Some negatives about this story. I think some thing mostly in their relationship went too fast. For example while quite pushed into the corner Fleur gambled very much on taking a relationship to the next step in relationship that at the moment didn't even exist. They also talked on more than one occassion about marriage and children before even being oficialy together. Seemed a little unreal to me :)
Other than that I enjoyed the whole deal and taking magic out of Britain even if some come back later is interesting and nice solution. Even if my favorite one will probably stay with portkey into the space. After all it seems that as a wrath Voldemort had to fly to where he wanted to be so when the planet decided to leave him in dust... Yeah enjoy being immortal in space :-D
Well I admit I went a little differently with my review than I originally intended but nevermind. I got one omake left and if I am right about it I'm really curious if the relationship will work :)
So awesome story and second possible ending here I come :)
| GBTtown chapter 12 . 12/2/2014
Very very good story.