Reviews for Uzumaki Lonely Orphans Clan
Guest chapter 25 . 8/25
At the beginning it all looked fine, but then, with each new chapter, it was like you were forgetting how to write in English. And I'm not talking about typos. Whole words used in wrong way, composition messed up, and that's not all. The style of the story went down the drain. Scene construction all over the place, sometimes lacking beginning, sometimes ending, events without the reason to exist or broken beyond understanding.
The story itself isn't half bad, but it needs serious rewrite, and a beta reader.
Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 13 . 8/24
You forgot about Hojun. If he's not with Naruto, than he's locked up in his apartment. Not a best way to live, few days/weeks without food, water or company.
Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 5 . 8/24
"...the village sold the compound in pieces. They were mostly bought by other villages..."
They would NEVER let foreign shinobi own the place that belonged to Fourth. It would be basically an insult, like they would say "look at us, we're basically enemies, yet we own Yondaime home." even if by "home" it would mean side houses. Other Konoha clans would never alow this, and most surly buy out them themselves.
Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 1 . 8/24
Seams ok so far, if a bit rushed. When two characters speak with each other, and there's only back and forth with dialog and nothing in between, it gives the bare bones feeling. Also, scene transitions could use some smoothing.
Guest chapter 10 . 7/30
Naruto does things HIS is able tyo do two opposing would not destroy something he holds dear. Thats what eventually makes him able to change the does not follow a ninja way,he follows the way of Naruto as he states in the end of the wawe arc
ILoveFrisk chapter 1 . 7/2
(after reading little glossary) MY BRRAAAIIIINNNNNN!
Guest chapter 25 . 3/20
i cant wate for mor
QuentinTNT chapter 25 . 2/22
Really good
SumoTheGreat chapter 25 . 2/16
this was meant for the last chapter:
Seriously, now it looks like you're playing favourites. Sakura gets mercilessly hurt by Sasuke, and Hinata gets a free pass. Gee, I wonder who you like better?
SumoTheGreat chapter 24 . 2/16
what the f*ck is this? The Sakura vs Sasuke fight was just cruel, and the one other reviewer who laughed at it is just sadistic.
You wrote Sasuke wrong, that's for sure. When was he every passive aggressive, or unnecessarily cruel?
Almonda chapter 25 . 2/16
I really love this story and how you made the original Naruto story your own. You paired Naruto with Shino and Hinata which is the first time I have seen this pairing. To be honest, I love this pairing quite a lot more than NarutoSakuraSaskue. They balance each other a lot better.
I am looking forward to the next chapter. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
Kitten Arina chapter 25 . 2/16
You need to focus on getting the story to flow a little better then what it does at the moment but I am happy to see another update to this story.
TigrezzTail chapter 25 . 2/15
Wow, seriously complicated schedule there.
Guest chapter 5 . 12/20/2015
Hinata has a fire and lightning affinity. And what exactly is Naruto's affinity?
Dracoessa chapter 17 . 11/20/2015
*snickers*
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