|Reviews for The Futanari talk|
| Bokutou chapter 9 . 1/5
You definitely get an A for effort; the setup and premise is simple yet effective, and the sex scenes are pretty descent.
The weakness of it is in the writing.
First of all, you don't need to put in parentheses what is in the present, what's a flashback, "10 minutes later", etc.
You shouldn't explain to a viewer how to read a story, they're smart enough to figure it out on they're own. You DO need to explicate timeskips, but you should do that in the narration.
And the narration itself is problematic too, it basically doesn't exist outside the sex scenes, and while it IS neglible it does become bothersome or repetitive at points. In the first chapter for example, the girls are asked to raise their hands and the all of a sudden they talk about how they all slept with naruto.
The implication is that they all raised their hands, but that isn't stated in narration.
Duologue too is troublesome; characters state the obvious, don't seem to have the same mannerisms as their official self's at times, tend to be repetitive. They talk like they just say the first thing that pops into their heads.
But there are some details that I really like, for example narutos penis being bigger after the timeskip, now that makes sennde he is in puberty after all, but that kind of detail gets oversighted in other stories, so I like that you included it. I also like how naruto is accepting futa right away and that after a point the girls don't question it and just roll with it. Things like that.
So on balance, and being professional, I rate this at 6/10 (for reference I consider something to be good or at least passable at 5)
But I'll give it a 7 since I like how it turned out overall and the flaws are easy to ignore.
| BlueDragonInfern chapter 9 . 8/17/2014
(to lazy to sign in) if you wouldn't mind could you make a full series story that is strictly Naruto x Futa Tsume you could add a Futa Anko x Futa Hana with it. the thought of this story is that Hana becomes Naruto's team Sensei after Anko recommends that Hana takes Naruto as a student having seen what he did the night Mizuki took the forbidden scroll this leads to Naruto meeting Tsume and after a while they grow close and become a couple.
| Screamindivr145 chapter 2 . 6/20/2014
You realize balls that are only a half in around or like the size of pebbles right?
| Naruto girls 1 chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/10/2014
tenten's my favorite soo hot
| ThunderClaw03 chapter 9 . 3/5/2014
Here one a half demon futa female naruto. With a yuri harem. Hinata is a must for the harem
| Guest chapter 9 . 2/18/2014
I would have liked this last chapter better without the clones.
| Jmw chapter 5 . 2/18/2014
You stole this from another author reporting
| Ayumi.y.kinjo chapter 1 . 2/18/2014
Nice story, would be fun to see a story where he is put in a kunoichi team (eg. Kurenai, Hinata and Ino). Setting: on a mission gas is released and affects them, females become dominant and start to grow cocks that must be relieved before they build up too much pressure and males lose chakra abilities temprarily (no shadow clones). Naruto must get them all off without the use of shadow clones.
| coldzero00 chapter 9 . 2/17/2014
very nice chapter a shame it had to end and I think you should do another futa story but with some of the girls from black lagoon and naruto
| Guest chapter 9 . 2/16/2014
I would like another futa story like Naruto at a all futa school he can do it with ino and tenten as his room mates hot teachers like anko and mabui and other girls tayuya,hinats,Sakura, tamari
| summerss chapter 8 . 2/14/2014
i like where this is going.
| Alex2909 chapter 8 . 2/10/2014
nice choice with tsunade as his first. liked the lemon. looking forward to the orgy
| NarutoHarem123 chapter 7 . 1/30/2014
Wow just found this story and I only have one thing to say...Awesome. In fact the only thing that could have made this lemon story better was if the chapters were longer but hey I am not going to complain.
Anyway Anko's chapter was my favorite and I hope to see more of her in the future.
| Alex2909 chapter 7 . 1/29/2014
anko is really dominate. she certainly takes charge