|Reviews for Broken Wings|
| may yuki chapter 6 . 6/11/2014
So I've read Viper of Grand's fanfic wayyy before this came and I was a little hesitant to read any other Riven stories because I was worried I would compare it to the other fanfic. Regardless, this fanfic has me interested. Keep up the good work!
| sda chapter 6 . 4/25/2014
MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE ONE OF THE BEST IRELIAXRIVEN FANFICS its slow paced nothing huge is going on it feels real and goes along with what i would think an ideal shipping story should be sometimes MORE
| Sniperrolf chapter 6 . 4/22/2014
I am enjoying this story, everyone seems to be well in character. I'm also glad you had that small scene with Zed and Syndra as well, it shows that you have some plot going to happen in time, and that you're not just going to have a continual never ending story of 'Riven's Life In The Monastery' as some FF writers would do.
I've followed this story and am in great interest in how you will write this out. :)
| Barbque chapter 5 . 4/18/2014
I've read A Blade Reforged, and I have to say that this story has the potential to match it. I know you haven't updated in a while, but I'll be following it in case you do update.
| GoG ToXiC chapter 5 . 3/15/2014
So... New chapter yeah? Please?
| Pom Rania chapter 3 . 1/30/2014
Overall your writing ability seems decent, with a few errors I've noted.
First of all, "it's" (with the apostrophe) is a contraction, like of "it is" or "it has" etc. If you mean "belonging to it", use "its" (no apostrophe). Think of it this way: if you want to write "belonging to him", you write "his", with no apostrophe.
Your dialogue punctuation is another big thing. I'd recommend googling it. Here I'll just put the bits you got wrong, but corrected; if you look at how you originally wrote it, and compare to how it is here, you should be able to figure it out.
"Greetings Master Lee," greeted Soroka. (comma, no capital)
"Time heals all wounds," replied the monk. (comma)
"Agreed," said Soroka. (comma)
| Merkhury chapter 3 . 1/8/2014
Preety damn cool story, I will follow it. Hope Yasuo will be in this story ;)
| Lito chapter 3 . 1/8/2014
Nice fic. I always think that Riven and Irelia have a hate/live relationship. I cant wait for the next chapter.
| Viper of Grand chapter 3 . 1/7/2014
Every now and then I crawl out of my hole to look up people's works. I have to admit, your pen name caught my eye, so I popped in and decided to read your story.
Your prose is quite good, your descriptions not overbearing and your characters I can feel them. I am liking this story so far, but I would like to offer some prose tips. I am not saying this with any malice, I needed people to really sit me down and point out my mistakes because I couldn't spot them myself. And to be quite frank, you only need to fix the edges. The main meat of your writing is very good, you just need to polish the rest up (and it will be an ongoing process)
Greetings, Master Lee." Greeted Soraka.
This is an easy mistake. You already have Soraka greeting Lee, but the grammatical error here is you need a comma.
Greetings, Master Lee," Soraka replied.
You can add a little description here for Soraka as you did for Irelia.
"Greetings, Master Lee," Soraka replied with a full, formal bow. Irelia simply nodded her head in greeting and respect before offering the monk a warm smile.
When I first started to write, and even to this day, I panic about whether or not I'm overdescribing scenes or actions, or if I become too repetitive of describing words, but you write how the characters are. Would Soraka reply with a bow? I'm not sure. You give them those nuances, and make them your own.
The other thing I must critique, and you must be careful of, is in your final sentence:
"Surprisingly, Irelia could not handle the sight and fled."
I probably do this myself in my works, but you shouldn't say it because it removes the surprise from the readers strangely enough p.
"Her head pounded, how was this possible? What was this alien feeling? Unnerved, unable to be within Riven's presence anymore, Irelia had to turn around and flee."
Don't worry about description. Only when you make it dry does it become a problem, and you have plenty of room to go into some flowery description. Relax, be loose, and have fun.
I'll be keeping tabs on this story, I'm really enjoying its direction and your writing.
| GoG ToXiC chapter 3 . 1/7/2014
Well... And here I was thinking I was going to be the first one to write Riven's background something like this. Beat me to it I guess xD. I am rather impressed that you managed to write out my headcanon to an almost scarily accurate degree however :P. It makes this story VERY interesting. Anyway, keep up the awesome work. I look forward to more.
| TheGadgetFish chapter 1 . 1/6/2014
Nice start! Interested in seeing where you go with this.
| Winterzz chapter 1 . 1/6/2014
Jokes aside, awesome I'm looking forward to reading more, since I'm soon to be incorporating Riven into my own story. It's nice to see how you make Riven interact with her surroundings.
| Typhoon Boom chapter 1 . 1/6/2014
Very interesting read. I've been looking for one with Riven.
Keep up the good work!
| GoG ToXiC chapter 1 . 1/5/2014
Mmm... I Iike this. The summary was a bit weak, but the content so far is great. I look forward to reading more.