The army cot squeaked under Julie as she turned again. She'd tossed and turned for the past couple hours, unable to sleep. Extreme emotions from yesterday evening lingered in her mind. She wrestled with doubts and what if's and the finality of her decision.
Maybe she'd done it in haste. Maybe she was just frustrated with her life in general, and took it out on Donovan. She'd dared to say she'd always love him as a friend, but knew it was more than that. He meant more than that. And she hoped in the coming weeks the feelings of regret would subside.
Aside from her love for Donovan, she now worried for his physical condition. The gash caused by Ham only took three stitches, but instead of resting as Julie had advised, Donovan had taken the remaining beer, salvaged from the tap upstairs, and went outside on the back alley steps to "think." Julie hated the thought that he would drink until he passed out outside, where he could be spotted by troopers and captured. And she hated the fact that she was mostly the cause of his anguish. A part of her wanted to go out there and apologize, tell him that she was wrong for ending their relationship… Say that she still cared and wanted to try and make it work in spite of the odds against them.
She'd never become Mrs. Michael Donovan, the second… Not that she'd intended to use his last name if they'd wed anyway. It had just felt awkward being the second of anybody…
A pain settled in her neck, and she took her pillow and tried to fluff it.
"Are you still awake, Julie?" Robin asked in the darkness.
"I know you haven't slept tonight. Are you okay?"
Apparently her tossing and turning had kept Robin awake and maybe Elizabeth too, and she felt guilty and wished she didn't have to share a room.
"I just have a lot on my mind, honey."
"I'm sorry I yelled at you for coming back late," the young woman said. "I was just worried. You guys scared all of us."
"I'm sorry, Robin," she said, though she wasn't. Robin Maxwell had a knack for always making herself the center of attention. "It won't happen again."
"How could you and Mike stay at your apartment for so long, and not worry about being caught by Bates?"
Julie shrugged against her blanket. Little did Robin know, that she and Donovan had spent very little time at her apartment.
"We just needed some time to ourselves."
"Are you guys okay? He's been so worried about you lately."
Stop, Robin. Quit prying. It's none of your business…
"I've been worried about you guys too." Elizabeth's voice echoed her mother's concern.
Julie answered neither of them.
"Julie?" Robin's voice was filled with fear.
It was obvious that the girls wouldn't let it rest until Julie answered, and she contemplated lying for now to pacify them.
"We decided not to be together anymore." Her answer was a lie, but she couldn't let them know that the decision had been hers alone. At least if they thought it was Donovan's decision too, then they wouldn't blame her.
"Why?" Robin demanded. "You love each other."
Julie wished she'd keep her voice down.
"I've known something was wrong for a while," Elizabeth admitted.
Sometimes the Starchild's telepathy seemed to border invasion of privacy, and Julie resented her trying to "sense" other people's business.
"Sometimes, things just don't work out, even when you still care about someone," she said. It sounded philosophical, and logical, but would either Robin or Elizabeth accept it.
"But you guys have been like a mother and father to me. I can't imagine you not being together… that you're not going to marry him like you said you were going to, " Robin said.
"Mike and I will always be there to give you advice. We just won't be together."
"Maybe you guys aren't thinking clearly," Elizabeth said. "You've been through a lot lately."
Julie stared at the alarm clock that lay before her. In a couple more hours the buzzer would ring, and she knew if the girls kept up their prying, she'd never get any sleep.
"I'm really tired right now. I'd like to sleep before daybreak."
"Goodnight, Julie," Robin and Elizabeth said in unison.