Christian doesn't want the baby, he said it himself he wants me to take care of it. It… he called our child it. There is only one thing to do, I have to leave, I have to change my name and my identity. I never want him to find me. The hurt he has caused is unforgivable. He has no idea what a miracle this baby is. I hear my phone start to buzz, shit its Dr. Green, I am just going to let it go to voicemail. I start packing essentials like jeans t-shirts and underwear. Just enough to fit in my duffel bag; I don't even pack my toothbrush, the lighter the better. I go to the safe in my closet and take out a hundred and fifty grand. This should get me through until I can find a job and get settled in a new city. I finish packing and walk out the front door. I turn around one last time and say goodbye to my past.
I get into my Audi and I know I have to get rid of this as soon as possible. Once Christian realizes I am gone he will turn the gps on, and surely he will have his bloodhounds out looking for me. I drive to Portland where I ditch the Audi. I think it's only appropriate to leave it in the Heathman parking garage. I need to get out of Portland as soon as possible. I find the nearest used car lot and buy the most reliable car I can find. I pay in cash and give a fake name; thank God this guy does things shady. I point the car east and head for the coast. I have always wanted to see Chicago maybe I will make a stop there. I drive for about three hours and start to feel hungry. I pull over and find a little diner. I stop in a small town and realize I am in control of my life. For the first time in such a long time I can choose what I want to eat where I want to go and I don't have to worry about anything. except for my phone. I get out of my new car and throw my phone as far as possible. I will no longer be under anyone's control, this is my life and I will live it how I see fit.
I grab the duffel bag and go into the diner. It is your typical greasy spoon. I find a booth and begin to read the menu. I choose a BLT and fries. "Hi welcome to Sander's. I'm Madeline can I get you something to drink?" All of sudden I have an urge for chocolate milk, "Yes a chocolate milk please, and I am ready to order." She takes out her pad of paper pen, "Oh would you like to know the soup of the day?" She is right I have to save as much money as possible right now, "Yes please." I need to start eating cheap. " Today's soup is vegetable noodle, and beef barley." Mmmm beef barley," I will take the beef barely, please." She taps the pen against the pad, "Will that be all?" I look up and realize she is about my age and her belly is swollen. She has her long brown hair in a braid over her shoulder and she has emerald-green eyes. "Yes that will be it. Can I ask you something?" She smiles, "Of course what can I do for you?" I swallow hard, "Would you care to join me? I hate eating alone and there isn't anyone else here?" She shrugs her shoulders, "Sure let me go get your soup." She turns and I look out the window I contemplate what I am going to do next. All I know is I have to get as far away from Christian Grey as possible.
"Here is your soup, I also brought some rolls. Johnny back in the kitchen just pulled them out of the oven so they are still warm." I grab the bread and drop it right away, "You weren't lying they are still warm." She shakes her head at me, "So what brings you to this crapshoot?" I look down and taste my soup, "Um nothing much just headed to the east coast." She sits back in the booth, "You are going to the east coast?" Her eyes widen when she says east coast, "Yes I want to see the other Portland." We both laugh and I finish my soup. "Would it be a problem if I got a turkey sandwich to go? I really don't want to stop until I have to sleep." She gets up, "Not a problem." I sit back with my head against the booth and gently pat where I think the baby is, "All set here is your check and I can take that when ever you are ready." She leans down and whispers, "Are you running from something?" I just look at her and shrug, "No just my past." She pats my shoulder and I pull out some cash. My total bill was $8.95 I leave her $11.00. "Thank you. Have a good day." She looks past me and I turn to look out the window. "Shit…do you have a back entrance I can use?" She looks confused, "Yes. Wait here is my number please let me know when you get to where you are going, and here take my car its parked in the back." She hands me her car keys and I hand her mine, "Madeline, thank you and please if they come in here I was never here. Please." She shakes her head, "Just go and take care of yourself." Something makes me hug her and I leave.
I get into her car well my car and head as far away from that diner as possible. I drive until I hit Idaho. I find a little motel and pull in; I just want a hot shower and bed. I only reserve the room for four hours, until I reach where I want to go I will only get motel rooms so I can shower. I can sleep in my car if I have to. I finish showering and lay in bed. I just want to close my eyes but I can't. I keep thinking about Christian. Maybe I over reacted. My subconscious starts to yell at me, "Anastasia Steele, he wanted you to have an abortion, you are protecting the life of your child. Get a grip." Leave it to her to smack me back into reality.
I finally fall asleep and what feels like right away the phone rings. I look at the clock ugg four hours already shit. I need to get dressed and back on the road. I also need to get a new phone and start finding out where I can get a new identity. I need to get one soon. Otherwise Christian will be on my trail. It is about 15 hours to South Dakota. I have to figure out where I am going to stay. I do need a new phone and some vitamins. I think they sell prenatal vitamins at Wal-Mart. I need to be healthy for my child. I pull over and find myself in front of a little coffee shop. I am getting hungry, and it can't be that expensive. Its been two days since I left Seattle, by this point my mom knows what is going on and so does the rest of the Greys. Oh well I will write my mother a letter once I get settled where ever I plan on staying. Everything is so up in the air right now. Shoot I could go to New Orléans or even London. I can go anywhere. I will raise this baby on my own and I will make sure they have everything need. I have an education and I will use it.
3 months later.
It's been three months since I left Seattle. I still have Christian's picture on my night table. I finally settled on a small town by Cape Cod. I am officially Ana Sanders I found a man in Chicago who helped me acquire a new identity. I am already in my second trimester. I finally felt the baby move, I have a lovely little apartment that I have set up for when baby s hits the runway. I work in a small family owned bookstore stocking and selling books. The owners Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins are very good to me. I have a few friends here Molly is my neighbor and Jess is her sister. These two women have been my rock through this pregnancy. Molly has two kids and helped me find a doctor, today I have check up to make sure baby s is ok.
"Annie are you ready to go? We are going to be late." Molly is outside my door, she is going with me, and she has been my go to person through this whole pregnancy. I open the door and she is standing there with her hands on her hips, "Let's go lady we don't want to keep the doctor waiting, plus this time I get to hear the little one's heart beat." I grab my thrift store bag and lock up. "Oh Annie are coming on Friday to watch chick flicks and eat junk food?" I start the car up answer her, "Well I will watch the chick flicks but I don't know about the junk food." I keep my eyes on the road," Ok I will give you that but you have to try the cheesecake I am making. I will also be making roasted chicken so you have to come for dinner. Plus Jake and the kids would love if you came for dinner. Jake is leaving on business right after so it will be just you me and the girls." I smile at the thought of watching movies with Molly's girls. They are just the sweetest little girls. "Oh really of course I will be there. I will bring the sides how does that sound and where is Jake going this time." I can see Molly roll her eyes, "I dunno he has to do business with some big shot ceo in Seattle and as far you bringing the sides you can as long as it is that fabulous mac n cheese you make." Oh Gail how I miss you, every time I make mac n cheese I think of you, " Of course I will make mac n cheese. Did Jake say the name of the CEO he is meeting with?" I starts to rain as Molly answers, "Ya something Grey…" I swerve and Molly yells, "Holy shit Annie, what is wrong with you?" I shake my head and apologize, "I am so sorry are you ok." Molly is still grabbing her chest, "Yes I am ok. Annie aren't you from the Seattle area?"
I pull the car over and open the door, I literally just make it out of the car before I vomit all over the place. "Oh Annie, are you still getting morning sickness?" I wipe my mouth with the napkin she gives me, "When is Jake due back?" She looks at me confused, "I think in about a week. Why?" I shake my head again, "No reason just wondering. Ask him if he can take a picture of the skyline for me. I miss it." I want my child to see just how beautiful that city really is. One day hopefully we can go back there. Not to be with Christian but to live our own life.
We pull into the doctor's office parking lot and I just sit there, "Annie are you ok?" I snap back to reality, "Ya I am ok, just thinking." She pats my arm, "You are thinking about him again aren't you?" I nod and wipe my eyes, "I just…I don't know…some days are better than other." She reaches over and hugs me, "C'mon lets go hear this baby's heart beat." I smile and get out of the car. She is right I get to hear my little blip's heart beat.
I sign in and the nurse calls my name, "Molly are you coming?" Molly jumps right up and walks into the room with me. "Wait I will stand out here until you get changed into the gown." I laugh at her and enter the room. The nurse takes my blood pressure and weighs me and writes some notes. I slip the gown on and wait for the doctor. Molly follows Dr. Moore into the room, "Ms. Saunders how are we feeling?" I shrug, "Ok I guess I wish baby S would move more but I guess all in due time." I lie back on the table and Dr. Moore measures my belly, "Right on track you are measuring at 21 weeks, now lets hear this little one's heart beat." The doctor presses the wand on my belly and we all wait and wait and wait. Finally the doctor takes the wand off my belly, "Annie I want you to get to the hospital, we need to get an ultrasound, I can not find the baby's heartbeat." I shoot right up. I think I am going to be sick. No this is not happening my baby is alive he has to be. "What are you saying?" I look to Molly and she has tears falling from her eyes, "Molly, what is going on? Dr. Moore why is this happening what is going on?" The doctor turns to Molly and back to me, "Annie, I can't find the baby's heartbeat. I need you to get to the hospital, I am calling the hospital right after I leave this room. Now I need you to get dressed and get to labor and delivery. We need see why we can't hear a heart beat." I am in shock I just nod my head. Molly leaves the room with the doctor. I get dressed and meet Molly at the front desk. I hand her my keys, "Drive I can't and I really don't want to right now."
We get into the car and head straight for the hospital, "Everything is going to be fine I just know it." I tell Molly. God I want Christian here with me. As much as I don't want him around me that is as much as I do. I close my eyes until we get to the hospital. I just hope Dr. Moore is wrong I need this baby. With out this baby I have nothing to live for. Lord please make my baby ok, I beg you. I look out the window and start to sob, "Why is this happening to me? Why is God doing this to me? I need this baby, this baby needs me please God." I hold my stomach and start to rock back and forth in my seat. Molly rests her hand on my back and rubs small circles, "Annie everything will be ok, I am here and I am not going anywhere, you are not alone in this. We will find out what is going on. Now I need you to take a few deep breathes and relax. This isn't good for the baby. You need to find your Zen place. Breathe in and out." I start breathing the way Molly is coaching me. I finally calm myself and start breathing normal again.
We walk through the main hospital doors and are greeted by an older woman with white hair, "Hello can I help you?" She is so sweet and grandmother like that I instantly feel relief begin to rush over me, "Yes I need to go to labor and delivery. They are expecting me." She hands us passes and tells Molly where to go. "Hey you know I could get used to you pushing me around in this thing." I joke, "Ya well don't get too used to it cause honey it happening unless you really need it." We both laugh, "Hey Molly, thank you for everything. I don't know what I would have done with out you and your sister. You guys are my family and I love you." I can hear her sniffle behind me, "Ok enough Saunders stop getting all sentimental on me."
We arrive at labor and delivery and they immediately whisk me off to a room where I am told to undress put another gown on. The nurse comes in and hooks me up to a fetal monitor and before she turns it on I ask, "Can you send my friend in before you turn that on? I just don't want to not hear my child's heart beat with out her." Tears start to form as she agrees, "Thank you." Thirty seconds later Molly is in the room holding my hand and the nurse flips the machine on. We wait and wait then the nurse rearranges the monitor that's when we hear the subtle swooshing of my little one's heartbeat. "Thank you, thank you God." Tear of joy stream down my face. Molly instantly hugs me, "I told you he was going to be ok!" We both laugh and hug each, "My baby is alive." The nurse comes back into the room, "Ms. Saunders, Dr. Moore called she wants you to stay the night just for observation." I look at Molly and back to the nurse, "Ok not a problem I will sign and fill out whatever you need me to do."
Molly gets up to stretch her legs she has been her with me all night. "You didn't have to stay with me I would have been ok." She turns and shoots me a shut your mouth look, "Listen to me I was not leaving you, plus I would have worried all night about and my little peanut. Anyways, you are leaving in a few hours and I have to drive you home." She walks over to me and sits on the edge of the bed, "And what are friends for?" I grab her hand and squeeze it. "I love you, seriously you are the sister I never had." The nurse comes in and hands me my discharge papers, "Doctor said to take it easy and she wants you back in her office in two weeks." I sign the discharge papers and hand them back to her, "Thank you." I turn to Molly, "Get me home I want to sleep in my own bed."