Rating: T-R for violence, language, sexual innuendos and mild adult situations or themes. ( If little kids in the area, they should vacate the premises. Not for the faint of heart does get graffic...lol I'm not that hardcore but this might go a little further then I've tried in the past)

Pairing: Buffy/Faith & Willow/Kennedy- others in the story of course so you'll just have to read it.

Style: I shall warn you the point of view changes in each chapter. Sorry if there was any confusion before, I strive to be a better writer now. I've gotten into writing plots an prologues. The following chap is a summary of the previous stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or places, nor do I make any profit from them. Thank you Joss for creating this universe.

Beta: Sessely (my beta is awesome, as always I seem to find good people. She has become my goddess of the hunt in editing my chapters. I like her style so check some her stuff out, there's a full link on my profile.)

Summary: If you have read "Calling all willing hearts." And "By her hand". You'll know majority of whats going on so you won't get too lost. This is basically a continuation. It has No major time gap or relapse. I'm going to include things from the previous story also. So read, Review and enjoy-Ray

P.s. I will say please don't take offense to some of the scenes in this story. I know dancers and or other in situations they can't help. These are jus a few stories I heard an wanted to share them my own way.

There's points in time in a persons life where he or she has to make hard choices. Make a left, take a right. Run. Stay or and help. Be normal and go to school or be the party girl who doesn't have a care in the world because she lives for the moment. The choices in that moment in time that changes someone's perspective makin them take complete 360 because she discovered she had a voice. When ya are a young child ya can't tell when they happen. Ya jus hit the stop sign do a Cali roll and keep movin. Sure, yea I can tell ya now I'm five by five but I, Faith Leanne can recall a few choices that made a difference; the few memories that I remember like they were yesterday.

The house I grew up in was always freezin cold, especially in the winter. I was a tiny kid for my age, small framed an all. My mother danced at a strip club. She always came home angry because of the customers who touched her all night. Drunk because she had to be numb to function at work or on any pills, that did only god knows what. Most times I was asleep when she came home. She would rarely go to sleep when she got home from work because she was so messed up. I would always hear her come in; she had no since of grace about her. She was normally still up when I woke up at seven am for school and asleep when I got home in the afternoon.

Now I know my mother didn't want me, I didn't think that then. In some ways I still loved her. I was very young lots of it was forgotten but there was one day the sticks out. I think it was a Monday and she normally took off Monday nights because of no business comin into the clubs. I had gotten sick because I got caught out in the snow storm walking home from school with my best friend Tamsin a few days before. She lived three buildings down the street from me with her Dad. Tamsin was many years older then me. I met her when my parents were still together, she used to baby sit me. She would come over a lot. Her soft-more year she got in trouble and had to move away to New York. While she was gone, my parents split up because my mom was cheating again. After my dad left, my mom started dancin again to make ends meet. It just kept goin from bad to worse from there. Tamsin moved back for her Junior and senior year of high school and went to a different school. When she saw my mom she started me under her wing and looked out for me. She was the closest thing I'll probably ever get to an older sister.

Since Tamsin was in high school and got out a few hours earlier then I did. She would always wait for me at the corner bistro close to my bus stop. Sometimes we would sit and hang out with her friends; she would make sure I ate and got home safely. I think that was the only time I really would ever got to eat full meals. My mouth watered at the thought of a pan seared grilled cheese and hot tomato soup. In the summer I always ate my soup chilled, just like Tamsin. It was our thing because we got to make it ourselves. Tamsin and the cook taught me how to cook easy snacks or meals there at the corner bistro.

Got a little off track, anyways; that night I was kept up by a bad fever that Sunday night and well into the next mornin. I was home alone and clueless as to how to fix myself. So what does a kid do search the house. Of course my mother didn't keep child cough medicine in stock. So I took a few pills I found in her cabinet that had a big medical word. As a child not knowing basic medicine strengths or anything about them at all I ended up in me throwing up the pills and my food. After that I was five by five, I did fall asleep until mom got home. I could see her in the livin room from my room. T'was a small two bedroom apartment and I didn't have a door. She broke it but that's another story.

My mom came home stumblin over end tables and knockin over glasses she left out because they were never ever put into the sink. I starred intently from under my covers as she stumbled, knockin two pictures off the wall before she even made it to the kitchen. When she got there she stopped dead in her tracks and screamed furious. "FAITH! Yous little shit, get your ass out heres...Faith!." I scrambled to hide in the only spot I could think of quickly, under my bed. She stormed into my room seeing me somehow. I bet I had a leg stickin out. Well she didn't hesitate she leaned over grabbin my arm first draggin me to my feet. As we walked I struggled because my feet weren't always touching the ground as she pulled me out of my room. I would scream and cry 'I'm sorry' but I don't think she ever heard me. She threw me into my half cleaned puke on the kitchen floor. Ya could see all kinds of trails and chunky bits I left behind. It was all sorts of colors and dried on.

"This is goin ta stain my goddamn floors." She lied. "Ya worthlesssss." She kept on going. Tamsin always told me when ever my mother goes off into one of her evil rants to go to my special place. Hide there and think of happy memories. Cliché, I know but it worked for me. "Your gonna clean this shit up now before school." She yelled. I probably told her 'I didn't feel good' but she didn't care or want to hear. "Clean it." She screamed again.

I moved to the cabinet at a snails pace which only made her angrier. She sat at the kitchen table playin sortin some white powder while mutterin and countin money. At some point she couldn't take it anymore, "Your gonna be late for school hurry the fuck up." She griped she was so messed up; I still had about two hours before I had to leave. Before I could respond she stood an walked to the cabinets on the far side of the kitchen, mutterin the entire way. She kept most of her vodka bottles in the cabinet at the very top. I got beat every time I opened it. So I stayed away from it. She came back with a spray bottle I never used before an dropped it in front of me.

"Spray it on an don' let it touch your skin. Then wipes it down." She briefly explained, than she stumbled away screamin my name and profanities. I remember at the point I was sobbin because I couldn't block her out anymore which sucked but at least she's gone. Slowly I stopped cryin.

I continued to clean and even though I felt measurably better than last night the cleaner my mother gave me burned me. The top of the container was cracked, so when I sprayed it also leaked onto my hands. When I was done I starred at them not knowing what to do because they were so red, swollen and starting to blister. I didn't want to stop cleaning because I didn't want to get in trouble. With the hand that I could move better I got a ice cube from the freezer thinkin it would help to rub it on my hands but it only made it worse. I'll never forget havin to stifle screams from the pain. I didn't know what to do so I ran to my moms room in a panic. Upon seein me at the door she put a piece of paper over whatever she was lookin at on the vanity, walked up to the door and she slammed it in my face. I was scared and we didn't have a phone that I could call someone, so I put on my heaviest coat an left.

I ran as fast as I could down the street to Tamsin's place hopin she hadn't already left for school. It was just her and her dad, he was a doctor but there was law suit before I met them. Now he does somethin else. I found out about when I overheard my mom talkin about him one day to one of her friends. A few weeks later his wife left him takin the rest of the money he had as long as he got to keep Tamsin. She didn't even try to contest for custody. Another messed up situation but Tamsin's dad is great. He was a good guy and really nice to me the few times I saw him.

I remember Tamsin opened the door worried because I was there so early gettin me inside. When she realized I had been cryin and I was still in my pj's she started askin questions. At some point she touched my hands an I reared back in pain. Tamsin and I were close enough that she knew somethin was wrong with them. When I showed her she teared up.

"Why ya cryin Tamtam?". We always try to made each other feel better but that day was different. Most of the time, she was crying over a date gone wrong. "Honey, I need you to tell me what happened to your hands." She asked. And I know I avoided answerin like always because I didn't want to be takin away from my mom. I was scared I could end up in some place worse. Tamsin was the only person I ever told how my mom was. I only told her because she heard my mom screamin at me once after she dropped me off. She asked me about it the next day; after that for some reason Tamsin always avoided my mom, probably for the best. Tamsin was protective when she came back from New York an saw how it was for me.

Eventually I caved tellin her what happened while tryin to make my mother seem like an angel like I usually do. Tamsin didn't say anythin or look up at me she only listened as she cleaned an bandaged my hands. It took a while. When she was done she went to find me some clothes; I had a drawer in her dresser. While I got dressed she called a taxi an took me to school. We only did that a few times but this time she brought me some McDonalds. When we got to my school she walked with me inside, all the way to the class room and said 'I'll see you this afternoon. Everyone want you to take it easy today.' And I did. She never did that before it was cool because all the kids wanted to know who she was.

That day at school was the best day I had in a while. Because my hands were all bandaged up, I didn't have to do any class work; I just had to listen. Right before lunch I was called to the principles office and they told me I should go with this lady who wanted to take me home. I did.

As we drove up to my apartment buildin there were cop cars outside. My mom was inside the back one of them. The lady shielded my head as I got out of the back seat of her car and walked across the street but I already saw her. I knew what was happenin but what I didn't know that Tamsin and her father was helpin stack evidence for a case against my mom. Mom had only really ever left bruises before this. I guess that day was the last straw.

When I got to my room Tamsin was there. She had my clothes out and some new ones I didn't recognize. "A lot of this is stuff I wore when I was little. My mother left it in boxes in a storage I want ya to have it." She explained as she started to fold and place clothin in a box. I picked through them a little, there was lots of winter clothes. She talked for a while. I asked her if 'I was ever going to see her again?' She gawked up at me and started crying again. "I don't know what's going to happen to ya. Ya know won't lie to ya kid, your gonna be five by five eventually. I want ya to listen to me. Don't trust them, any of them. Don't trust anybody until you can defend yourself. You already know how to survive." She pressed. And that's exactly what I did.

I was placed with a couple named the Costas who had several other Forster children. It wasn't bad, I had my own room. The Costas were never home because they ran a restaurant that was pretty popular. They would leave the two elder boys in charge. I was treated the same as one of the boys despite bein the youngest and only girl. They preferred boys but for some reason I was a special case. I had to fight for everything that was mine to keep it we weren't allowed to lock any doors. They were told I needed tender lovin and care. Pshh, sure got a lot of that. Not trustin them sure made it hard to follow rules. I got into a lot of trouble there until I became a wanderer. I would leave eay before school and got home after the street lights came on. It always sucked bein the only girl. When it came time the Costas were kicking one of the boys out because he turned eighteen. That night the he made at move me. Luckily, wrestling paid off an I was able to nut check him before slippin away outside. Around that time Diana showed up tellin me I was a potential all Xmen style. I was meant for bigger and better things. I could only think that anythin beat this shit so once again I beat it.

While I was away from Boston on the road, I was told my mother died in jail. I'm still not sure if I cared. A part of me hoped she would leave rehabilitated but that was a long shot. I loved Diana, she saw that I needed a mother figure and took on the role. I was bent on fightin her the entire way. The last night I saw Diana was right after I became a slayer. When Kendra died.

We were trainin in a cemetery close to the motel we were stay at; I was blindfolded. We had been there a few weeks. The new Vampires were used as easy target practice. That night we were workin on distraction. Diana would talk to me as a Vamp were attackin, and I had to keep track of them. After a while I noticed there was too many of them, I didn't know it was an ambush till it was too late. When I heard Diana scream I ripped off my blindfold. I was stuck fightin a vamp and I couldn't get to her. It was all because of Kakiztos. He planned it and kept me distracted with his minions, while he went after my watcher for training me on his new vamps. He was trying to build a army. I can only watch in horror as Kakiztos fatally clawed Diana's chest. By the time I looked up again, Kakiztos was gone and Diana lay on the ground bleedin out. After staking the vamp I scrambled to her side.

The cuts were long enough to reach her throat and I'm pretty sure her vocal chords were cut. Diana told me that she was not afraid to die. That she knew 'when it was her time it was her time'. But she was crying I had seen those tears before. Tamsin cried the day I was taken from my mom. It didn't take long moments later she closed her eyes and died my arms. I followed that murdering bastard all the way to Sunnydale and met my B. Didn't know then but that day changed my life, too.

B was lead slayer in town she had everybody eatin out of the palm of her hand. Drove me crazy, literally. When I stopped gettin along with the gang I joined up with the mayor. Together we plotted to take over the world. I didn't care what he wanted me to do, I was angry. The mayor is not only my boss, he was like a father. A sick an twisted bent on domination type of father but he was there. I still have that blade he gave me. The night before the mayors big assention day B found out that a slayers would cure Angel. I had previously taken him out so they would be distracted a little. That night she won and stabbed me with my own blade. I still got the upper hand when I jumped onto a truck so she couldn't have me. Gotta nice little scar for a trophy on my stomach. Good thing we're together now; the scar looks kind of sick anyways.

After that I hopped a train and hooked up with Wolf Ram and Heart. I didn't care who they were I jus wanted ti wreak more havoc and money at first. They gave me orders to kill Angel to test my loyalty. I had already done enough killin I'd had no conscience about what could happen. I didn't care about anything or anyone maybe myself. Bad to the bone or so I thought.

I kidnapped and tortured Wesley, it's still hard to confess. People don't come back easily from that you know. Wesley still looks at me as if I'm going to skin him alive. I know now we're mostly over it. I did that Wesley to get to Angel. Angel came runnin but he didn't fight back. He stayed defensive. Everything came rushing back to me and I started to break down. Punch after punch after punch screaming and crying for Angel to kill me. Angel kill me I'm bad please kill me. Only he refused. I still couldn't believe that after what I did; Angel sheltered me, protected me. He became as much of a mentor as a few others that I had. Eventually he talked me into turnin my self in and I went to jail an stay there. Till the first and everyone knows that story. Angel has since become a very good friend.

After the first we went to Los Angeles to heal and regroup. Other new slayers started pourin in from all over the country. Los Angeles crime rate went down significantly till the girls were moved to south Florida in the state that the third hellmouth was located. We only stayed at the hotel in LA a few weeks. We couldn't stand being surround by all the slayers so Scooby gang including me went up to Cleveland. With all the funds we needed at our disposal curtsey of Wolfram and heart; we brought a few houses and got jobs at the local high school close to where the hell mouth was located. When we got back to Los Angeles B made all the final decisions on which of the younger slayers we would take to Cleveland with us. And all we had compiled up about 400 girls. Majority of them were under the age of 15. In the end B decided it best that the girls that were originally with us would just come to Cleveland to live. We try to lead a normal life in as a cover.

When we got to Cleveland, it wasn't anything like we expected it to be. There was quite a few vampire covens that we got rid of. Also a lot of demons that hung around the hell mouth area that was in the middle of the city. Since we've been here we've gotten it under control. We have been retrainin the girls into a single team. One team, one fight! They work better that way. Cleveland is too big of a city to patrol alone. As for housing, we bought three thanks to Angel.

As for jobs I'm a PE teacher, Buffy is the guidance counselor and Wood started off as the principle of Trake High. Willow is an English teacher and Giles is of course the librarian. Xander started his own construction company and lives in southern Cleveland so we don't see him as much. Angel set us up with new backgrounds while pulling a lot of strings to get what we wanted. We stuck to things we were used to, to get started.

Within the first month in Cleveland Wood and I was starting to get serious as in relationship serious. Then I didn't do relationships then. Wood loved me and wanted to make me more docile; I couldn't give it to him. So you left; he left. My bad. Well, the day he left, I found out I was pregnant. Almost the entire pregnancy it didn't seem real until I was attacked the first time. That's when I started noticing things about B. B brought me back.

Eight months later I had a son, his name is Dominic Robin Lehane. Months after that I also had a girlfriend her name is Buffy Anne Summers. I wasn't afraid with her. Being with her, she makes me hole. I had never known a love like this and it's only the beginning. Ya know what, at first I thought I had this relationship in the bag. Now there's something terribly wrong with B.

Now that you know a little about me I can tell you the last major memory that made me take another 360. It was around the time we were fighting a demon named Arden who took over B's body and wanted my son. He controlled the watchers council at the time. I was picking up Dominic from Xanders house. Dominic was only two months old. Xander watched him when he wasn't busy with his company. Buffy waited for me in the car while I went and retrieved my baby boy. Back at the car B hopped over the center consul to the drivers seat. "My SUV" I cried. "You drive this thing like it's a sports car. I'm driving." B ordered. She smiled back at me as I buckled Dominic into his seat. I knew we had a thing and that she was going to be there to help but I didn't think this much.

I got in passenger-side after making sure Dominic was secure in his car seat. Buffy left and took the long way home. The 15 minute ride turned into 30. We would sing different songs and radio hopped when the station hit commercials; Laughing and giggling the entire time.

While switching the radios I heard Dominic giggle. I turned and leaned over the seat so I can look at him. He was my world. I don't know how I could love someone I just met so much. A nurse told me it's this unfathomable unbreakable bond something called motherhood. My mother never understood that one cardinal rule. B continued to talk and sing and talk because she didn't have enough rhythm to rap. Dominic giggled every time he could hear her voice of the music. I sat back down to my seat and stared at her. I still hadn't been able to make Dominic laugh like he was; at least not like B can.

B turned to me and the light hit her hair perfectly so she glowed. It was the ah-haaa moment I had been waiting all my life for. The three of us a family was all I needed I didn't want anything else really. I didn't know then but she's all I want. I will do anything to keep my family together; now that I finally have one. Speaking of, I can hear Dom crying so I have to go now.

My family, it's mostly if not all girls. So ya know and can imagine how dramatic at times it gets. Most of the teens in the house are seniors and will be moving on soon. We still have a few that are pretty young still. We also have another baby coming in as well by Red an Ken. I will enjoy the space while we have it. Oh yea, for your info, Dawn was turned into a werewolf, she left. It was the same day Buffy had a miscarriage. We found out some bad news that day too so…whatever anyways…

To wrap things up there's been a lot goin on. I guess incident after incident would throw anyone over the edge. I was there, sometimes you have to be saved from yourself. You're thinking I should tell her that we should talk about our issues and her. I know in my heart that she's the one and this will work. Eventually I'll bring myself up to say something I just don't know how to do it without getting hit. That's it, I'm done, take from this what you want. My New Year's resolution is to keep my Ohana together. Got myself back t status. Getting everything off my chest sure feels good.