Author's Notes: CONTINUED.

Thank you to Cinis and Druzhnik for beta-reading as always, and catching all the errors I was too lazy to catch myself.

Cassiopeia glared at her sister in the hallway of her apartment. "You had one job."

Katarina hissed, tearing off her smoking jacket and throwing it to the floor. "I didn't expect the Demacians to-"

"ONE job: ask her out or fuck her."

Really, either would have been fine with Cassiopeia. She had prepared tips to be discretely whispered in case her sister got stuck. "Instead, you pick a fight with everyone else in the room."

"Fuck you."

"No, fuck Lux. That was the plan." She had outlined the manoeuvres clearly: step one, charm the Demacian to bed; step two, something happens, improvise here; step three, profit. How could anyone mess that up?

"I need a drink." Or seven. She slithered to her wine collection on the far end of the room. The burnt scales on her sides were starting to chafe, and she wouldn't be able to molt for another week or so. Once she did, the skin was going right into Katarina's bed while she was sleeping. "Really, it's not that hard, sister. All you have to do is charm her and talk her into doing something you both really want to do."

"Not all of us have the glamour to charm people into our beds," Katarina shot back.

For fuck's sakes.

"It's called basic people skills, you twat." Cassiopeia opened another bottle of wine. "She was pretty much willing. All you had to do was push." She pulled out a glass, looked at it, tossed it over her shoulder, and drank straight from the bottle. "When was the last time you've been with anyone?"

Katarina clenched her teeth and turned away.

There was a loud knock at the door. Katarina stormed over to open it, and Talon stepped in, quickly closing it behind him. "I heard there was a fire at the Demacian quarters."

"And you think we had something to do with it?" Katarina smoothed back her singed hair.

He glared at them. "Why were you even in their wing in the first place?"

Cassiopeia took a sip and drank half of her bottle. "Katarina's trying to fuck that Demacian bitch."

Talon looked at her. "Which one?"

"The uppity one."

"...which one?"

Cassiopeia struck a pose, whirling an imaginary baton. She squealed in a high pitched voice. "DEMACI—"

She took a step to the left as Katarina's blade whistled by her head and sliced her lamp in half.

"Fuck you!" Katarina stomped towards the door. She whirled around. "And stay out of my business."

Talon stepped aside as a knife pierced through another lamp. Goddamn it, giant heat lamps did not come cheap.

The door slammed, and Cassiopeia pulled out another bottle. "Sister is going to get billed for those."

Talon sat down on a chair nearby. He scowled. "Why does Katarina want to sleep with that Demacian wench?"

Cassiopeia shrugged. "Because I said she couldn't get laid."


[Typical flashback about a week ago]

Cassiopeia almost gagged on her drink. Katarina was shovelling plates of food in her mouth, and after she had finished three dishes of some kind of meat goulash, she yanked open the boxes of sweets by her side and recommenced her disgusting eating habits. Really, did she take nothing from Mother's lessons on table etiquette?

"Here," Cassiopeia tossed a napkin towards her sister, wrinkling her nose. Katarina needed to slow down before she choked, since Cassiopeia had no plans to do the Heimlich manoeuvre. Also, because saving people from death was not Du Couteaus do.

Katarina nodded and proceeded to demolish her box of eclairs.

Cassiopeia gritted her teeth and tapped her fingers rapidly along the table. She hated watching Katarina eat. One because it was revolting, and two, she had just discovered that she gained four pounds and was now killing herself eating this stupid, wimpy salad while her sister was bolting down pastries. She finally lost it when a sweet, pale cream oozed out of a glazed pastry, squirting down Katarina's chin and fingers.

"Stop eating! You make that golem look civilized!" She gestured over to where Malphite was trying to figure out how to not crush a teacup while drinking tea with Caitlyn nodding in encouragement and Vi napping in her chair.

"No wonder you can't attract anyone with the way you're eating."

Katarina glared at her. "I'm not fat if that's what you're implying.

Cassiopeia eyed her sister's slim belly enviously. No, Katarina had never been fat. Not when she ran five miles every day in addition to weight training, isometrics, target practices, and rooftop chases.


"Just not appealing." Cassiopeia shrugged.

Katarina slammed her box down. She glared at her sister. "I am not ugly."

Cassiopeia feigned a yawn. "Really? When was the last time you went on a date?"

Katarina paused. "Fuck you, I'm not ugly."

"Sister, please. Do us all a favour and get some, so you can stop pigging out."

"I don't have time—"

"Afraid of being reject—"

A blade slammed into the space between Cassiopeia's thumb and index finger. She wisely withdrew her hand from the table.

"How hard can it be? I've drawn dozens of men to my bed easily. And you're a Du Couteau. You should be able to charm someone as long as you keep your mouth shut."

Katarina looked uneasy. "I don't know who—"

"Just pick a man and fuck him. It's not that hard."

There was a long silence.

"You do like men, right?"

Katarina bit her lip. There was a terrified look in her eyes.

Cassiopeia sighed. Great, not only was Katarina incompetent at seducing people, she was also in the closet.

"It'll be an embarrassment to our family name if you try anything yourself. Let me handle things, and you'll bring a woman to your bed in no time."

"Hold your tongue! What if people hear you say I like—" Katarina turned scarlet. She began to splutter.


"How about Ashe?" Cassiopeia pointed a few tables down where the Frost Archer was eyeing the assassin over her shoulder. Upon being noticed, she turned away; her husband glowered at Katarina and bared his teeth.

"She's married."


Katarina looked away. "She's not my type."

Cassiopeia rolled her eyes. "Real?"

Katarina flicked her wrist, and a blade glanced against Cassiopeia's throat. "You talk too much."

The youngest Du Couteau pulled Katarina's blade down. "And you're a coward."

Katarina twisted her hand, and the blade brushed against Cassiopeia's heart. "One of these days..."

"Not if I get you first." Cassiopeia looked her sister in the eyes. "Coward."

Cassiopeia felt the tip press against her chest, and she thought for a moment that she made a very, very bad call this time. Eventually, Katarina sheathed her knife and withdrew from the table, muttering darkly. The remaining Du Couteau looked over her shoulder with a victorious expression. Inside, she felt like she was having three heart attacks. Katarina really needed to get laid if that was the kind of reaction coming out of her.

Cassiopiea needed an easy target to set her sister up with. She glanced at the various champions lingering around Morgana's increasingly profitable cafe. That archer was still looking at where her sister had left, but her jealous husband guarded her like a dog. Someone would lose several limbs in that arrangement before Katarina could even get near the Avarosan's bed. It would have to be someone unattached, someone able to deal with her sister's eccentricities, someone who was so clearly gay that she was shooting double rainbows.

Cassiopeia spotted the Crownguard girl trot by the glass doors when Ahri sauntered by, and her head did a 180 degrees turn as the fox slipped into the cafe.


Eh, Katarina could do worse.

The Demacian brat looked around and approached her with a nervous expression on her face. Cassiopeia watched her as she came up.

"Cassiopeia Du Couteau."

"Luxanna Crownguard. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Cassiopeia smiled. Was it really going to be this easy?

Lux coughed. She tugged at her sleeve, smoothing over invisible wrinkles. "I was wondering about Katarina..." She peered at Cassiopeia through long lashes. Cassiopeia noted with pleasure that her sister would probably like those eyes. "Is she single?"

"Who wants to know?" It was going to be this easy. Sweet.

"I wanted to ask her out on a date—" YES. "—with my brother."


Well, a lay was a lay. Plus, if Katarina was smart, she could use the brother to get to Lux.

"And why does that matter to me?" Cassiopeia leaned back, pretending to look bored.

Lux looked around. "Because I have information about a certain shipment of Swain that may bear your image."

Cassiopeia sat straight up. "What are you talking about? What image?" What the hell was Swain—?

Lux shook her head. "I may drop the coordinations of the shipment accidentally should I get distracted with some information." She leaned in closer. "How would I invite a Du Couteau out?"

Cassiopeia laced her fingers together. She smiled wickedly. Too easy. "Well, Katarina does like games..."

[End generic flashback]

Cassiopeia swore. "I've invested too much into this for Katarina to screw it up." She slithered towards the door. "Let's go, Talon."

Talon followed her. " do plan to tell me what happened, right?"

"Look, all you need to know is that we're going to find Singed and get something that'll guarantee Katarina a fuck."

" why are we at Swain's?" muttered Talon

Cassiopeia hunkered down in the bushes outside of the Grand General's apartment with Talon squatting in the shrub over.

"Why am even I here?' he muttered.

"Because I need your help to intercept that shipment if that brat's information is any good." And Cassiopeia had some retribution planned if it wasn't. Namely involving acid.

"I mean, what has my life become?" Talon shook his head. "And whose information? What shipment?" He ran a hand over his blade. "You withhold info and expect others to know what you're thinking about all the time." His eyes shifted. "Do you also know why Draven's so hell-bent on Katarina all of a sudden?"


[Hazy memory of the evening following her conversation with Lux]

Draven thumped his chest. "Our team won because of Draven."

Cassiopeia snarled. "Shut up. You weren't that important." Yes, he was.

"Did you see me slice that nighthunter in half?' He mimicked a throw then Vayne yelping.

"We were there too, you know," Darius intoned.

"And you took bolts to the face for Draven, which he appreciates. Draven has to think of his precious modelling career."

Sion grunted on the other side. Draven patted him affectionately on the head.

Cassiopeia recalled chugging more alcohol to drown out Draven's voice. Katarina came in at some point to congratulate them on a victory for Noxus. She sneered at them all with her arrogant smile, perfect hourglass figure, and dancer's body. Draven made some lewd comment after the elder Du Couteau had left.

Cassiopeia snorted into her drink. "You could never do my sister."

Draven smoothed back his hair. "All the bitches want Draven."

And Katarina was a bitch. Hard to refute the logic.

"By that logic, Cass should want you too," Darius pointed out.

Draven looked at Cassiopeia. Cassiopiea flexed her claws, and Draven cringed and crossed his legs. The last time Draven tried to hit on her, it ended up with him in the hospital to be treated for a mysterious spray of acid to the crotch. She had been trying to do the world a favour.

"Katarina would never sleep with you," Cassiopeia insisted. Mostly because that would screw up her plans to set up her sister with Lux.

"Draven can get any woman to sleep with him. He already has." Draven spread out his arms threatrically. Darius coughed something that sounded like, "Bullshit" under his breath. "Katarina will fall for my charms like all the other Noxian women."

"Please. You haven't got anything Katarina would remotely be attracted to." Like boobs, if the elder Du Couteau would admit it. "You'd be lucky if you'd even get her to look at you, low born. All you have are your flashy shows. Your mind is weak and unsuitable for a noble."

"Draven doesn't need to hear this from a whore who can't even get laid."

"Fuck you," Cassiopeia snarled, her words slurring together. "Fine. You're a creep. She's a bitch. And you all deserve each other."

She proceeded to fall off her barstool.

As Sion was carrying her out, she heard Draven mutter to Darius in a rare tone of uncertainty, "Do you also think I wouldn't be able to get Katarina?"

"Yeah, you're pretty stupid."

"I'll show you. I'll show all of you how Draven rolls!"


Cassiopeia was out the bar as the brothers began to squabble and promptly passed out.

[End hazy memory]

"I don't know. Draven's just weird." Cassiopeia shrugged. "Shush, I see someone coming."

She pointed at the lit path beside them where a grunting Mundo was carrying a large wooden box towards Swain's apartment. He dropped it unceremoniously, taking off his delivery cap and wiping his brow.

"Mundo work too hard. Moonlight as delivery boy to pay off corporate lawsuit. Mundo thought genetic manipulation to make subject stronger was excellent idea. Side-effect to look like Mundo double benefit." He scratched his head before pushing the box up to the building until it blocked the double doors. Mundo shrugged and took out his cleaver to hack it down to size. He whistled a jaunty tune as he took off a large corner.

"MUNDO." Swain's voice echoed from several floors up. "I will pick it up in the morning. Do not touch it."

"Mundo need signature for controlling boss."

Swain grumbled. "Meet me up at the fire escape around the back of the building." After the incident of Shyvana burning down the Demacian building, the summoners made it a requirement for all dorms to have a fire escape of some sort, leading to a sell-out of the tallest ladders their local hardware supply depot could manage.

Mundo lumbered around to the back, and Cassiopeia moved out from behind the bushes.

"Let's go. I need to see what Swain's doing with my image." She plunged an arm into the box and retrieved something soft and squishy, bringing it into the light.

Cassiopeia turned over the plush doll in her hand. It had a round face with oversized green eyes and a smirk below its fray of red cloth hair. It looked fat in her opinion. Just like the original.

Talon glanced at it. "What is that?"

Cassiopeia rolled her eyes and handed over the doll."Swain's idea." So, that was what he was doing.

The blademaster held it between the tips of his thumb and index finger. "To make poor quality dolls of Katarina?"

"To make poor quality dolls of everyone." Except LeBlanc. For some reason, the LeBlanc doll had real Ionian silk for clothing and Freljordian mink fur for hair. Someone was clearly Swain's favourite.

Each city-state had its own way to to pay for damages to the League via unintentional and intentional fights. Demacia sold fine-china plates with its champions' face on them. Ionia ran a volunteer hospital at the League. Bilgewater circulated bootlegged "exotics", and Piltover vacillated between auctioning off its technology patents and security detail. Who knew what the hell Freljord was doing? Probably selling that blue bird's eggs or something. Noxus, however, under Swain's careful guidance decided to ignore all the other city-states' methods and completely sell out. Faces and memorabilia of all its champions were currently in mass-production to be sold across Valoran to fans and haters alike; projections of Demacia's purchases alone, for the use of effigy burnings, were reported to be in the millions. However else the Noxian champions felt about him, the Grand General was turning out to be a talented businessman.

"Look at yours." She pulled out a miniature version of Talon and pulled out the cord at the back.

"This blade's my favourite," the doll intoned in a poor, squeaky imitation of Talon's cadence. It sounded like a punted yordle. "Pathetic."

Talon looked at the Katarina doll in his hands and warily tugged at the white cord.

"Blood for Noxus! Hahahaha!" The doll vibrated as it screamed. "If you run, you won't see me stab you."

Cassiopeia turned to Talon. "Katarina was never good at jokes."

"One would require a sense of humour for that kind of thing," Talon agreed as he turned over the doll. He picked up a Singed doll and was about to pull the string before stopping and quickly putting it down.

Cassiopeia glanced over to the doors leading the entrance. They were completely blocked by the giant box that easily spanned more than the width of the two champions, and Cassiopeia didn't have the patience to melt the entire thing down. "Let's find another way up, Talon."

Talon put down the Urgot doll he was walking across the ground. "Aren't we going to destroy these things?"

Destroy them? They were adorable. Plus, the Cassiopeia doll looked much slimmer than the Katarina one, and Cassiopeia had to admire Swain's eye for detail.

"We can always deal with them later." She looked upwards. "Singed is probably up there."

"...chasing after Singed is usually a bad idea."

"We need to get a love potion from him." It's the only way Katarina couldn't mess this up.

"...this can't end well." He followed her anyway.

The ladder was rickety, and creaked under Mundo's weight as he clambered down. "Mundo no get tip? Swain cheap bastard! Mundo go kick in box!"

There was a reason why Mundo's delivery service wasn't so popular among the champions.

They let the muttering scientist trample by and stared up the four floors to Swain's room. Talon grunted as he tested out the ladder. "This thing doesn't seem fit enough for two people to climb at a time." He looked at her. "How were you planning to get up anyway?"

This was how Talon ended up crawling onto Swain's balcony with Cassiopeia hugging his shoulders for dear life. Well, it was supposed to be his shoulders; it ended up being his neck for the last 20 feet or so. Though Cassiopeia could technically climb the ladder herself, she felt that if Talon carried her, it'd be easier for everyone all around. And by everyone, she meant just her.

She slithered off of him while he wheezed on the ground, brushing herself off. "So, this is Swain's place. No traps? No alarms?" She eyed the opaque glass door, and pushed it open cautiously as Talon got to his feet.

It swung open, and Swain was inside, muttering and bent over a card with a red-clothed table behind him, complete with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket nearby.

Cassiopeia and Talon stared at Swain. The Grand General of Noxus turned around and stared back. His expression showed no change, though Beautrix screamed.

Swain hobbled in front of the small table he had set up in his chambers, complete with candles and a slender glass holding a single black rose. "Du Couteaus, what urgent business requires you to sneak into my chambers at this hour?" He stabbed at a bouquet of flowers on the floor, pushing them underneath the table behind him.

"Is Singed with you?" Talon asked while Cassiopeia tried to crane her neck to peer around Swain's torso. Really, what good was a snake body if you couldn't extend your neck?

"Is that for Singed?' Cassiopeia pointed at the cart with the covered trays on it.

"No! I am going to have an intelligence meeting with LeBlanc...this was someone else's."

"In your chambers?"

"Singed is down near that plant woman's garden to get something for his potions," snapped Swain. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a professional, non-romantic business meeting to attend." He hobbled away before turning back to the pair. "I want you out of my cham-"

Talon was looking at Cassiopeia while she mimicked a woman's curves with her hands and pretended to thrust.

"OUT." Swain burst into a swarm of ravens, and they shot out the window, blowing Cassiopeia and Talon off their perches.

Talon landed neatly on his feet and caught Cassiopeia. He fell to the ground when her tail smacked his face.

"Why would Singed be over there?" She brushed herself off and slithered in the directions of the Gardens. "Come, Talon."

Talon rubbed his forehead and glared at her. He trailed behind her, muttering darkly. Cassiopeia had that effect on people.

Singed was fairly easy to find. There were not a lot of people who had a permanent trail of green gas flowing from them. Talon and Cassiopeia kept a respectable distance as they called to get his attention.

"I'm busy." Singed didn't look back as he peered through man-sized fronds to watch Zyra wander around her patch of plants. "Researching."

Cassiopeia set one hand on her hips while another fished something from her top. "This is business." She pulled out a small pouch and shook it, the jingling of coins catching Singed's attention. "We need a love potion."

Singed glared at them. "I don't make love potions. I make love poisons. They poison you with love!"


"So, could we get one?" Cassiopeia pressed.

"Who's the target?"

"The Crownguard girl," she answered.

Singed turned to his left, raising an eyebrow at Talon.

"Not me!" hissed the assassin as he shuddered.

"Not me either," Cassiopeia added when Singed glanced at her in turn. "It's for Katarina. She's hopeless at these kinds of things." She held the pouch in her hand. "And I'm sure a shrewd businessman like yourself would know when to keep matters discrete."

Singed was a very shrewd businessman indeed. He took the pouch and took out his receipt book. "How long do you need the effects to last for?"

Cassiopeia shrugged. "As long as it'll last. Make sure it's colourless and odourless as well." Katarina really needed all the help she could get.

"You'll have your potion by daylight. Now, leave me be." He waved them off as he turned to watch Zyra in her gardens. "Pollinate those plants. Yes..."

Cassiopeia and Talon gave each other a look. They hurried from the mad chemist.

They parted at the hallway before their rooms and pretended that nothing happened that night. Cassiopeia ruined the effect when she rushed over to Talon's place with Singed's potion in hand, having impatiently skimmed through his lengthy written instructions. Did potion work? Yes. That's all she needed to know. Any side effects Katarina could deal with later.

She pounded on Talon's door, and when the irritated assassin opened it, she grabbed his arm and hauled him to the Hall. The best time to catch any champion was usually at breakfast, especially since today had gourmet pastries delivered from Morgana's Cafe.

Cassiopeia rushed the buffet line and sat down at a strategically close table to the Crownguard girl. Talon slipped in the seat next to her, grumbling as he buttered his bagel.

"What's your plan now?" He scowled as a shadow fell over both of them.

"Enjoying ze pastries? They were inspired by my 'ouse."

"Beat it, Laurent." Cassiopeia sulked into her chair. She was in no mood to deal with prissy Demacians. More so than usual anyway.

"What fine manners. Clearly, the product of your Noxian upbringing." Fiora paraded in front of them, nose turned up so high, Cassiopeia could count the hairs jutting out.

Cassiopeia tapped her fingers on the table. "What do you want?"

Fiora looked around. "Where iz your sister?"

Cassiopeia arched an eyebrow. "Why? You want to bring her to bed?" PLEASE, say yes. That would solve the let's-get-Katarina-laid dilemma that Cassiopeia had been having.

The duelist sneered at them. "As if I would ever want to be with any of you Noxians. I just came by to see if Katarina was still boasting of being ze greatest blademaster in Valoran." Talon began sharping a blade while Cassiopeia made a rude hand gesture, which offended Taric the next table over. He tossed down his napkin and left, muttering about the nerve of some people. "An' she iz not here to defend her claim. How much like a Du Couteau. If she comes, tell her I will be hitting ze track if she wants to prove herself." She levelled a stare at Cassiopeia as if the snake could make up for her sister's absence. She strutted away, and Cassiopeia put on a hand on Talon's chest to stop him.

He growled. "I could—"

"No, she's not our target." And besides, Cassiopeia wanted to rip the Demacian a new hole in her pride herself. She just had to bide her time. "We need to focus on getting to Lux." She got up and weaved her way through the buffet line until she was two tables away from the light bearer.

Talon trailed behind her. He glanced out the window where the track laid beyond it. He grunted. "Isn't Katarina running as well?"

Look, Cassiopeia could only deal with one of Katarina's life problems at a time.

"She can handle Laurent herself." She pointed towards Lux discretely, and Talon leaned forward. "We need to get her."

Talon eyed Lux sitting by the traitor for some reason, who looked slightly uncomfortable. "She won't trust any drink you give her."

"Mmmhmmm." Cassiopeia nudged Talon along closer to the Demacian's table. She eyed the young Ionian captain of the guards nearby who was staggering under the weight of her meal. "We'll just have to come up with a distraction."

"Such as?"

Cassiopeia shoved Talon into Irelia, flipping the Ionian's tray over their heads and onto a passing Sejuani. "Ashe is the rightful ruler of Freljord, and Sejuani is utterly weak, Talon? You can't go around saying that in public!"

Sejuani's eyes narrowed. Talon dove aside as a mace came down and split a table in two. The yordles formerly occupying it stared at Winter Claw leader for a few moments before realizing their lunch table was now gone and hopping to their feet in anger. Ziggs frantically jabbed at the tall Freljordian warrior before realizing he didn't have a bomb in his hand. He pulled one from his belt and was promptly restrained by Tristana and Poppy. Teemo jumped up, and tried to diplomatically explain how Sejuani's attack has left the yordles without a table to eat and, in the hopes of good faith between the cities-states, they would allow the disrespect to escape their notice should the Winter Claw leader desist from further damage. This would have gone over better had Sejuani been listening instead of playing pin-the-mace-on-Talon's-skull.

The Radiant Dawn entered the hall, sighed, and came over to break up the fight. As she approached, Sejuani knocked Talon into her, and she fell back. Lux jumped up to help Leona, and Cassiopeia quickly slithered by Lux's table, dropping the powder into the mage's drink as she quickly brushed her hand over it. Riven whipped around and saw her. Cassiopeia deliberated on whether the Gardens needed a nice Riven-shaped statue to decorate them. She leaned forward instead and whispered, "You know, the offer I made back at my Father's house is still valid. My bed could use a companion." She ran her tongue over her lips, hoping to distract the swordswoman.

Riven turned a bright red and looked away. Heh, still got it.

Quickly, Cassiopeia signalled to Talon to move away since the need for a distraction was over. She made a noise of disgust when he decided that ducking Sejuani's mace was a higher priority than glancing her way.

The hall doors slammed open, and Fiora ran in, sweating streaming down her face. "Lost again, Du Couteau." She glanced up and ignored Ziggs jumping onto Sejuani's back as Talon finally managed to roll away when the Radiant Dawn stunned everyone in the nearby vicinity. "Mon Jarvan, I am thirsty."

She spied the drink near Cassiopeia's hand and snatched it from the snake. "Pardon-moi, mon amie," she sneered, "but a victor must replenish herself with spoils." She tossed down the drink before Cassiopeia could stop her, and the snake felt like punching a hole through the duelist's stomach. She'll have to settle for hoping that Singed miscalculated the lethal dosage instead.

Fiora gagged and coughed. "What iz this concoction? It tastes like unwashed socks-"

So much for tasteless. Thanks, Singed.

There was the sound of someone else approaching, and Fiora turned to look at them, her eyes growing large while a flush began to rise in her cheeks. Her breathing deepened, and she trembled as she took a step forward. "Ma beauté," she whispered.

"Fuck you, and your cheating lunges, Laurent." Katarina glared at them in her sweat suit, her hair matted with perspiration and a scowl on her face. The scowl deepened when she noticed that Laurent could not stop staring at her. Nor Cassiopeia, Riven, and Talon, who finally lumbered up, frost coating his blades. "What?"

"Perhaps, we should stop helping?" Talon asked while Cassiopeia watched the Grand Duelist chase her sister across a field with an armful of flowers. "How long will it last?"

"The notes said a couple of weeks or so." Cassiopeia stirred her drink. "Depends on metabolism, resistance to poisons." She paused. "Or maybe it actually said a few months." Or years. Apparently, Singed took her quite seriously when she said as long as possible.

"I love you. I'd hate to have harm come to you like this," Fiora called out, dashing up the side of a building as Katarina shunpo'd straight to the top. "Mon amour, mon coeur s'ouvre à ta voix."

Katarina hissed from the rooftop like a trapped cat. She jumped across the roofs as Fiora followed suit.

Lux watched the scene at a distance with Riven by her side, as did most other champions who were eating in the Hall. A confused expression flitted across her face at the scene in front of her, and she took a few step back into Riven. The pair turned around and headed back inside together.

Talon glanced at her. "Looks like your plan is backfiring."

Cassiopeia tented her fingers together and smiled. "Or is it?"

It totally is.

"Zut alors, you run ever so fast. Submit! You are already mine," sang the Grand Duelist, bounding after a frantic Katarina. "And I can dash forever."

"Fuck you—"

Fiora tackled her, and they toppled from sight. "As you wiiiiiiiiiiish~" There was a dull crash sound.

Cassiopeia took a sip of her drink. All right, so Plan A didn't go too well, but a Du Couteau always had a back-up plan. She would have to get personal with Lux herself.

Provided that no one else planned to interfere with her.

Author's Endnotes: Thanks for reading.