Chapter two of my new Mortal Kombat/Naruto story, hope you all enjoy!

Naruto blinked and looked around as lightning deposited him on the ground.

I can't even talk to you right now.

You are talking to me, Kurama.

Don't even know why. How the hell did you get yourself into this situation? More importantly, how did you get us into this situation?

I asked, ya moron.

Naruto looked around with curiosity. Guys with weird black-and-white masks were walking around and muttering to each other.

"I never asked, but what is your name?" Raiden asked, and Cage and the blond lady leaned in curiously.

"Naruto Uzumaki," he answered, looking around. "So when's the fighting going to start? I want to kick some ass."

"Kombat will begin as soon as the Outworld representative arrives," Raiden said. "Your free to meander until then. But no fighting."

Naruto pouted in disappointment, but brightened again quickly as an idea formed in his mind. "Alright. This'll be fun!" he said in excitement while he clapped Raiden on the back, ignoring the Thunder God's grunt of pain from the force of the blow, and walked away.

"Woah, that guy's weird," Johnny Cage said, before giving a glance over at the blond chick. "Hey beautiful, how you doing?"

Sonya Blade didn't even pay attention to him, as she was too busy staring after the mysterious man. Naruto, his name was, but she didn't know anything about him. At first she'd had a suspicion that he'd been Kano in disguise, but dismissed the thought. The build wasn't the same, and his voice was different from the arms dealer's.

Due to the hood and the alarmingly orange scarf, the only part of his face that she could see was his two bright blue eyes, twinkling with both mischief and something a little darker.

This is so not fun!

You have no one to blame but yourself, Naruto.

Oh, stuff it, you bloody octopus.

He's right, you know.

You too, Tabby? Never thought I'd see the day when an ox and a cat agree on something.


Grinning in spite of himself, Naruto wrenched his fingers free from the stone they were dug into, before reaching up higher. Thirteen thousand years, and calling the Two-Tailed Cat Tabby still pissed her off. Climbing to the top of the tower had seemed like a good idea when he was actually on the ground. Now he was trying to reach the top so he could see where he was located. Looking over his shoulder at the dark clouds and mountains, he looked for something familiar.

Trouble was, he didn't recognize anything.

Having lived for close to thirteen thousand years and traveled quite a bit during that time, he was completely familiar with every inch of earth on... Earth. But nothing around here was even close to matching the geography. It was unusual.

And potentially troubling.

You're an idiot.

Shut it, Saiken.

You didn't even decide to climb up the wall with your chakra. And I thought Gokū was stupid.

How I've lived this long with all of you jabbering on inside my head is something I'll never understand.

Finally making it to the top, he pulled himself onto the roof and looked around. A few groups of the masked guards were milling about or standing at attention. Other than that, not much of interest was happening, although a bunch of people, including the blond chick from before, were gathering near what looked like a platform, probably where the fight's were gonna happen.

"Oh dear, how exciting."

Spotting Raiden next to some shirtless guy with dark hair, he grinned mischievously and jumped off the building.

A hundred feet below, Raiden suddenly clutched his head as a series of images filled his mind. Liu Kang looked over in concern.

"Lord Raiden, what is it?" he asked.

Raiden took a breath and was about to reply when Naruto landed next to them, the ground cracking beneath his feet. Catching their stunned looks, he shrugged and said "What?"

Liu Kang shook of his surprise and looked back at Raiden, who took an amulet off of his clothes and stared at it. To both their surprise, several hairline fractures stretched across the surface.

"My Lord?"

"It is nothing, Liu Kang," Raiden said calmly, though inwardly he was perturbed. "The tournament begins."

Naruto, who wasn't paying attention to them in the slightest, looked around as drums started banging and a bunch of guys in dresses walked forward in unison.

Behind them, an old guy came forward towards the dais, flanked by the two hot chicks from before, who stood off to his side.

"Kombatants, I am Shang Tsung!" he said. "In the coming days, each of you will fight. Some are here of there own volition. Others were brought here by chance."

Naruto tuned the boring old geezer out and looked around. He noticed Johnny Cage trying to talk to the army lady, and failing pretty badly.

"Kano..." he heard her say, and followed her line of sight to a guy walking into the place. Naruto raised an eyebrow at the metal plate covering the right side of 'Kano's' face.

Smiling to himself as he made a note of who to follow when this was done, Naruto looked up at the old guy and opened his mouth.

Shang Tsung was in the middle of telling everyone how important this tournament was when he was interrupted.

"I challenge Shao Kahn!"

Shang Tsung nearly choked on his own words.

Literally everyone in the stadium stared at Naruto in shock as he stepped forward a little, his eyes twinkling with repressed excitement. "You know, unless he's a pansy."

The bearded man's eyes flashed dangerously, but that was nothing compared to the two ladies at his side.

"You dare challenge my father, mortal!" the blue one said, two bladed fans snapping open in her hands. Her companion held a cylinder that extended into a bo staff and what looked like a boomerang.

Naruto grinned cheekily. "Pretty much."

His grin faltered as every one of their weapons struck him in the face.

Kitana and Jade both smirked as the insolent fool struck the ground with a surprised look on his face. Such was the fate of any who dared challenge Shao Kahn.

Then he burst into smoke.

"How rude," said a voice from behind them, and they stiffened as arms wrapped around their shoulders gently. Before they could even be surprised, something sharp pressed against each of their throats.

Naruto, his hood and scarf in shreds, sighed. It seemed like every time he said something rude, people tried to kill him. How annoying. Paralyzing the lady in green with a bit of Killing Intent and flipping the kunai under her chin into an icepick grip, he reached up and pulled off remains of his clothes as he looked at both of the pretty ladies.

"I hope this won't be a regular occurrence. I don't want to have to replace all my clothes. Well, not after a fight, at least."

Blushing bright red, Kitana and Jade glared at the man with anger.

"Now," he said cheerfully. "Are you two hotties gonna behave? I really would rather have a calm, peaceful fight to the death with your asshole of a leader. Is that alright?"

Kitana's eyes flickered over at him as she glared at the man who dared insult her father. "You do not know who you are dealing with, you arrogant fool. My father will destroy you for your insolence!"

He flashed a cheeky grin that made her blush. "He's welcome to try, provided he isn't to much of a limp-dicked coward. I mean, he's the one who sent his servants and his daughter of all people instead of manning up and fighting his own battles."

"I can fight," she growled. "I am not a helpless damsel."

"Oh, I know. I can tell you that compared to some of the people that I used to know, you're in the top ten for strongest. I'm assuming that's why daddy dearest decided to throw you to the wolves instead of bringing his punk-ass here," he said. "But anyway, I still have a question. Why are you two fighting to absorb Earth when you seem so nice?"

"I'll show you nice," Jade grumbled, and Naruto laughed.

"Well, relatively nice. Still, you don't seem to be the types to do this sorta thing for no reason."

Kitana swallowed uncomfortably, suddenly quiet. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

He stared deep into her eyes, making her blush at how close he was. "Alright. Last question. Why is Shao Kahn trying to absorb Earth?"

"He does so for the glory of Outworld!" Jade said vehemently.

Naruto merely raised an eyebrow, and sighed. "Yep. This fucker is definitely going to die."

"You could not stop my father if you had the power of the Elder Gods themselves!" Kitana snarled.

"Yeah, whatever," he said dismissively. "Don't get into too much trouble, you two."

Lowering the kunai in each hand, he looked over at their weapons and muttered something unintelligible, causing them all to fly into his hands, before he handed them to the two stunned women.

Taking them with surprise, the two ladies both gave simultaneous 'eeps' as Naruto, moving past them, swatted their ample behinds.

Before they could turn around to rip him apart, he disappeared in a flash of orange with a ringing laugh.

He reappeared behind Raiden and Liu Kang, the latter staring at him with something akin to jealousy.

"Do you realize how foolish challenging Shao Kahn was?" Raiden asked, staring intensely at Naruto, who merely shrugged.

"Yeah. Foolish to try and end this stupid tournament once and for all. Cause you still want to put all these people at risk for no reason?" Naruto replied. "I'm actually kind of glad the guy didn't rise to my taunts. If he had, this wouldn't have been fun."

The thunder god narrowed his eyes at the carefree attitude the blond exhibited, but turned around anyway as Shang Tsung gathered himself.

"The first fight will be... Naruto Uzumaki vs Reptile!" he said, a cruel smirk on his face. That would teach the insolent fool not to challenge the Emperor.

Naruto cracked his neck and walked forward, standing on the dais with his arms crossed. "Hurry up, you invisible lizard. I don't have all day."

Several of the crowd looked at him in surprise, not the least of which was Reptile himself, who faded into view and jumped down onto the stage. Roaring at Naruto, who yawned in boredom, Reptile charged, fists swinging.

His roar of anger turned into a squeal of pain as Naruto brought a leg up and kicked him hard in the junk.

"Huh, I didn't know lizards sounded like that."

Kneeling on the ground in agony, Reptile growled at the blond, who was whistling in boredom and not even facing him.

Lunging at Naruto's back, the overgrown lizard was surprised when he disappeared in a flash of orange.

Everyone looked around, wondering where the blond had gone, when a ringing laugh sounded throughout the arena.

"Oh, I haven't had this much fun in centuries! Bring it on, Lizzy, I'll kick your scaly green ass!"

Reptile snarled, looking around, trying to find where the annoying human was, before the oversized lizard saw a flash of blond hair and cheerful blue eyes before he was socked in the jaw.

Rocketing across the arena, Reptile smashed into the stone wall with such force that it cratered. Naruto waited for a few seconds as he fell onto the ground with thump and didn't move.

"Winner, Naruto Uzumaki," Shang Tsung bit out. "Round Two; fight!"

The shinobi looked at him strangely. "Uh, you do realize that he's not getting up, right? You stupid or something?" he said, and the old creep narrowed his eyes and had to refrain from lashing out with his magic. Instead, he looked over at where the fallen Reptile was unmoving and at the cracks blossoming out from where he'd hit the wall.

Hmm, this one will be worth watching.

Naruto stepped down from the platform and was about to walk back to the stands when Shang Tsung called out his name again.

"Even if that is the case, you are not leaving yet!" Shang Tsung said, pointing down at where Reptile was laying on the ground. "Finish him!"

Naruto looked over at the downed lizard and then back at Shang Tsung. His pinkie came up and went straight into his nose, digging around. "No." Finally reaching his goal, the ninja flicked his plunder straight at the geezer, who suddenly squealed and danced around like a little girl as the impromptu missile hit him right between the eyes. "I'm not in the habit of killing helpless enemies. So go manhandle a corpse, or whatever the hell you do in your spare time."

Shang Tsung's eyes narrowed. Could this mysterious fighter possibly know about his Flesh Pits?

"That was a joke, you know. Jaysus, you're a creep."

"You will respect me, mortal!"

"Uh-huh, yeah. Good luck with that."

Looking around, Naruto smirked at the rest of his competition. "So..." he asked, cracking his knuckles.

"Who's next?"