A/N: I am so unbelievably sorry! I feel really bad for making you all wait for so long! At first it was writer's block, then it was family drama junk. Still, I hope you can forgive me! *gravels at your feet pleading for mercy* But I do hope you enjoy:)
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.
The plan was simple. All they had to do was fake kiss and make it look real, so Stan would freak out.
Tweek was nervous that it was going to backfire somehow. Kyle reassured him that nothing was going to go wrong. Tweek did not believe him.
Kyle caressed Tweek's cheek. Tweek blushed a little which helped with the act.
"You're so lucky were friends, Kyle." Tweek murmured.
Kyle smiled,"I know."
From over at the guy's table Stan was getting a little nervous. Kyle was just supposed to get a kiss on the cheek, not man handle Tweek's face! Okay maybe that wasn't exactly what was happening but still. If things went too far, Stan would have to intervene or face Craig's wrath.
Kyle tilted his head and slowly started to lean in. Tweek sucked in a sharp breath, waiting for Stan to freak out before something really happened.
Kyle's lips touched Tweek's in a chaste kiss. Tweek's eyes widened. That was not part of of the plan, it was supposed to be Kyle's lips on the side of Tweek's lips, not on Tweek's lips!
Stan was up on his feet so fast the chair fell backwards. He was running to the counter.
Though what made the other boys jump to their feet was Stan's cry of,"KYLE NO! IT'S TWEEK!"
Kyle didn't see it coming, though he doubts anyone did. Kyle was abruptly pulled off of Tweek and punched in the face. When he looked up from his new place on the floor, he seen the blazing eyes of the one and only, Craig Tucker.
Stan was shielding his super best friend in an instant. He locked eyes with a startled Tweek. Stan felt bad, this whole thing was his fault. Tweek seen Stan's look of 'sorry' and gave him a reassuring smile to let him know it was alright.
Craig looked at boyfriend and his features softened.
"Are you okay?" Craig's voice was calm and a little worried.
Tweek nodded,"Yeah, I'm fine."
Craig turned back to see Stan shielding Kyle, who was holding his bleeding nose. Craig grunted and walked in front of the counter leaving them be. Stan sighed in relief.
"Tweek, do you remember when I told you, you weren't allowed to wear skinny jeans out in public anymore?" Craig asked him calmly.
"And that time when you wore Stan's hat?"
Stan shivered at the memory. Tweek had a feeling of where this was going.
"Well we're adding another thing on the list of 'things you are not allowed to do anymore'."
Craig leaned in over the counter, eye to eye with his beloved Tweek.
He touched a strand of his hair,"No more straightening your hair."
Tweek smiled sheepishly,"Okay."
"Wait." Clyde held up his hands,"Okay let me get this straight. We didn't know it was Tweek. But Tweek knew that it was us. So why did he give Stan his phone number and let Kyle kiss him?"
Everyone looked at the three previously mentioned.
Tweek quickly explained,"I gave Stan my number after he found out it was me. And because he wanted to rub it in your guy's faces."
Everyone looked at Stan. He smiled cheekily and shrugged.
"Secondly," Tweek continued,"The kiss with Kyle was to freak Stan out. And it was only supposed to be on the side of my lips!"
Tweek looked at Kyle accusingly. Kyle looked down sheepishly and Craig growled possessively. The other boys just stared at Kyle with wide eyes. He was lucky to be alive right now for the stunt he just pulled.
Tweek took off his apron and walked around the counter to where his friends were. He intertwined his hand with Craig's and tugged it forward.
"Come on. I'm off the clock." He smiled sweetly at his boyfriend hoping he could protect Stan and Kyle from getting hurt.
Craig looked reluctant to let it go, but decided he would finish this later. The couple then walked out of the coffee shop. The rest of the gang slowly left the shop after giving Stan and Kyle weird looks, until they were the only two left.
Stan helped Kyle up and glared at him. Kyle smiled sheepishly back.
Stan folded his arms,"Was kissing Tweek worth being punched in the face, Kyle?"
Kyle faked a thinking pose for a second before his face broke into a devilish grin,"It was so worth it!"
Stan promptly slapped Kyle in the face.
A/N: Okay I have no idea where that ending come from, sorry that it sucked. Again I am so so so so so so so so so so so so SORRY! I love you guys!