A/N 1: This conversation is inspired by something SunnyCitrus10 said to me. It also occurs to me that Leonard has yet to be taken to task for this. To me, at least, it's kind of a big deal. It should be for Penny, too.
The Naked North Sea Ramifications
The day had started so nicely. A couple of the folks that Leonard had met on the North Sea boat suddenly found themselves in Pasadena and Leonard wanted them to meet Penny. Since they were only in for the day and Penny was scheduled to work he brought them over to The Cheesecake Factory.
The Cheesecake Factory wasn't terribly busy so when Leonard and his guests were seated in her area Penny knew she'd be able to spend some time with them. She went over to meet them and take their order.
"Penny, this is Mike and Greg. I worked with them on the boat in the North Sea. Guys, this is my girlfriend Penny."
"Nice to meet you guys. Leonard's told me you all worked really hard all summer."
"We heard a lot about you too, Penny. And saw a lot."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing, sweetie. I showed them lots of pictures on my iPhone."
"Okay? Well, let me take your orders. I already know what you'll have, Leonard. And you two."
"We're simple folk. Cheeseburger and a coke."
"Same for me."
"OK. Back in a bit."
As Penny walked away she heard Greg say, "Dude, she's even hotter than the video. And you're really sleeping with her?"
Penny heard Leonard proudly reply, "Yup" and decided she had a couple of questions she'd hold until later.
Penny finished her shift and went home, showered and changed. She walked over to Apartment 4A and found Leonard there by himself.
"Hi, sweetie. Where's Sheldor?"
"He's over at Amy's. He won't be back until later."
"Good. It was nice meeting your friends from the boat. I have a question, though. What video of me were they talking about?"
"Um…"
"Leonard, that shouldn't be a hard question to answer."
"Um…"
"Spit it out, Leonard…"
"There's this video on YouTube…"
"Which one? I love the bloopers from the hemorrhoid commercial."
"Yeah, not that one."
"Which one then?"
"Okay, when you first moved in Howard searched for you on the Internet and found a clip from a never-released movie called Serial Apist."
"Yeah, Sheldon told me."
"Well, that's what they saw."
"You showed it to them?"
"Yeah."
"You showed them me in the shower naked?"
"Um, yeah?"
"And you didn't think that I might have a problem with that?"
"Not until just now. I mean it's on the Internet and you look beautiful."
"Leonard, for a really smart guy you can be an incredible idiot."
"I don't understand."
"Hmm. Let's see. We've known each other for 7 years, right?"
"About that long."
"And for a good portion of that time we've been dating, right?
"Yes."
"And we've been intimate, sharing things with each other that we don't share with our other friends, right?"
"Yeah!"
"But I've never, ever mentioned that movie to you, have I?"
"No."
"Did you think there might be a reason for that?"
"Not really."
"So it never occurred to you that something I never mentioned to you in all the time I've known you might be something I'm embarrassed about."
"Penny, you have nothing to be embarrassed…"
"Beside the point, Leonard. I didn't tell you about it. Why didn't you tell me you knew about it?
"Ummm…"
"Could it be because somewhere in your brain you knew it was something I didn't want to talk about?"
"Yeah. That's it."
"So based on that you decided that this video, that you pretty much concluded embarrassed me, that I didn't want to talk to you about, was something that was okay for you to show a bunch of people that I'd never even met?"
"When you put it that way…"
"Excuse me, Leonard, but is there another way to put it?"
"It's just that I'm proud of you and I wanted to show you off."
"I'm sorry, Leonard, but there have been times that I've been proud of you but I was never inspired to show all my friends pictures of your cock."
"I wouldn't mind if you did."
"Excuse me?"
"Penny, I think you're blowing this all out of proportion."
"Pretty unfortunate wording there. But I don't think I'm doing that at all. From here on, whenever I meet someone you worked with on the boat I'll know that they've seen me naked."
"C'mon, not everybody."
"Maybe you'll need to give me a list. Which is shorter, the list of people from the boat who've seen me naked or the ones who didn't?"
"Didn't."
"So "Mr. It's sexier when things are left to the imagination" is okay with me being naked as long as you're the one deciding who gets to see it."
Leonard tried to deflect.
"But you don't have to do that to show people how good an actress you…"
"You are unbelievable. Y'know, It isn't enough to tell your new friends and co-workers that you have an incredible girlfriend, you have to show them a video of me doing a nude scene that I never even told you about…"
"But, Penny…"
"I'm not done. Ever since you got back from the boat you've been doing things that I'm not really okay with but I haven't said anything."
"Like what?"
"First thing you did when you got back was sneak into my apartment for sex."
"I didn't want Sheldon getting in the way."
"He's your best friend and he missed you."
"I missed you more than I missed him."
"What you missed was the sex."
"That's not true. I had lots of sex…"
"When?"
"Never mind."
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry, I interrupted you."
"You as much as said I was stupid during Raj's scavenger hunt."
"Um…"
"You used stories about your horrible childhood and to get me to pity fuck you. And we were sleeping together anyway. What the hell was that about?"
"I just wanted you to know more about me."
"And you implied that I'm not romantic enough with you when I'm the one that brings all the romance to this relationship. You're just interested in the sex."
"That's not true."
"And what was the deal with Zack?"
"You married him!"
"It didn't mean anything. I would have dealt with it but you wouldn't let it go."
"I've asked you to marry me repeatedly and you've said no every time. He asks you once and wham, bam you're married."
"We were drunk."
"So if I get you drunk…"
"Not funny, Leonard."
"What am I supposed to say? Everything I say to you is wrong."
"That's because it is wrong. You showed that video of me to your friends like I was some trophy of yours. I am not anyone's trophy, Leonard."
"I know that."
"I don't think that you do."
"How do I fix this? Do you want a naked video of me to show your friends?"
"Leonard, none of my friends has any interest in seeing you naked. It's not that impressive."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm figuring something out here, right now."
"What?"
"I'm figuring out that while you love the package and enjoy showing me off you're not exactly happy with the rest of me and you're trying to change it."
"That's not true."
"I don't know. Your actions don't support that statement."
"Penny, come on. It's not a big thing. We all have things we're embarrassed about. There are some YouTube videos of me when I was trying to be a rapper. And there's that one of me and Sheldon fighting."
"Not even close to the same thing, Leonard."
"What can I do to make this right?"
"I don't know. I'm not sure you can. I'm going to have to think about it. In the meantime you should probably just stay away from me."
"But Penny…"
"I'm going home Leonard. Good night."
When Penny got back to her apartment she made a phone call.
"Hello Howard. I wonder if you could do me a favor."
"Sure, Penny. What?"
"I need you to try to make a video on YouTube disappear."
"What video?"
"I think you know what video, Howard."
"I'll do what I can."
"I appreciate it. Thank you."
A/N 2: At the moment this is all there is.