A/N

I am so sorry for this Fanfic's existence, it's so bad xD

This is obviously based off of those If You Give a Pig a Pancake books. I don't know where I came up with this, but I was just innocently doing my makeup this afternoon and was like: 'Hey, that sounds like a great idea for a fic!'

Just something I whipped up in about 20-ish minutes. Hope you like it!

(Disclaimer: I own nothing!)

Enjoy! :D

~.~

If you give a Noah a book,

He'll probably read it.

After a while, he'll get hungry and go downstairs to get a snack.

If he goes downstairs for a snack, he will open the fridge to see if there is any good food to eat.

If there is no good food to eat, he will get in his car and drive to the grocery store.

If he drives to the grocery store, he will get stuck at a red light.

If he is stuck at a red light, he will pull out his book and read again.

If he pulls out his book and reads again, he will not notice when the light turns green.

If he does not notice when the light turns green, he will not drive.

If he does not drive, a driver with road rage will honk at him.

If a driver with road rage honks at him, he will be startled and accidently put the pedal to the metal.

If he accidentally puts the pedal to the metal, he will smash into the car in front of him.

If he smashes into the car in front of him, he will get out of his car to apologize to the other driver.

If he gets out of his car to apologize to the other driver, he will learn that the owner of the car is Duncan.

If he learns that the owner of the car is Duncan, he'll start screaming and running away.

If he starts screaming and running away, all of the bystanders will point and laugh and call him a girly man.

If all of the bystanders point and laugh and call him a girly man, he will be humiliated and run into the nearest McDonalds to eat away his feelings.

If he runs into the nearest McDonalds to eat away his feelings, he will order a supersized meal.

If he orders a supersized meal, he will eat it in the kiddie section of the restaurant.

If he eats it in the kiddie section of the restaurant, he will see Cody playing in the playscape.

If he sees Cody playing in the playscape, he will begin to question his life choices.

If he begins to question his life choices, he will order another supersized meal.

If he orders another supersized meal, he will go into cardiac arrest.

If he goes into cardiac arrest, he will be rushed to the E.R.

If he is rushed to the E.R., he will have to get defibrillation.

If he gets defibrillation, he will get electrocuted.

If he gets electrocuted, he will start to cry.

If he starts to cry, a nice nurse will give him some toys and coloring books to play with.

If a nice nurse gives him some toys and coloring books to play with, he will be happy.

If he is happy, he will go home.

If he goes home, he will find mountains of "Get Well Soon" presents.

If he finds mountains of "Get Well Soon" presents, he will open them.

If he opens them, he will find a book.

And if you give a Noah a book...

~.~

The end!

Again, I wish this had some sort of context, but nope! I hope you liked it! I should totally make this into a series. xD

Review and stuff! Flames will be used to roast marshmallows! Bye! :D