This is just a story that i decided to write after the frustating "Anchors" episode that came out last week. I don't know if I'll keep writing when each episode air (I'll probably will because I have a lot of Stiles feels), but yeah... Let me know what you think, and if I should keep writing those or not

Also, this is my first TW fanfiction, and english is not my first language, so I am very sorry if there is anything wrong.

I do not own Teen Wolf (unfortunately)

Chapter 1

For the past few weeks Scott, Stiles and Allison had been a little distant, and it was okay, I understood why – I guess we all did.

In order to save their parents they sacrificed themselves and found out where the Nemeton was, they died for sixteen hours. It had been the most difficult hours of my life. Deaton explained that the sacrifice would have an effect on the three of them, that it would be a kind of darkness surrounding their hearts.

That's why, I think, that since that night I was closer to Stiles in a way, I didn't know what Deaton had mean with "darkness", but I had a feeling that wouldn't be good

"No, no, no, no, no… Don't let them in" My eyes slowly opened when I heard Stiles gasping and when I noticed his grip on the bedspread "Don't let them in"

I leaned on my elbow while he struggled on the bed.

"Stiles" I whispered putting my hand on his shoulder "Stiles?"

He kept struggling and whispering inaudible things, he was having a nightmare - It wasn't the first time since that night, and I knew it wouldn't be the last.

Stiles suddenly opened his eyes and started screaming, Mr. Stilinski immediately ran into the room and held him down to calm him. For the first seconds he kept screaming and struggling while his father kept whispering that it was going to be okay.

"Lexi, what are you doing here?" Mr. Stilinski finally noticed me after Stiles had calm down and was sat on the bed.

"We we studying, I must have fallen asleep" I said taking my hair off my face.

"Just… Don't do anything wrong, you kids" Oh my God, I felt my cheeks blushing while he left the room

"Dad!"

After the awkward moment Stiles lay down again while I straighten my back and hugged my knees. Stiles reached for my hand and I intertwined our fingers and seconds later I already was lying next to him.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I had a nightmare. I'll be fine" He did that thing with his voice and head. He was hiding something from me.

"Stiles, I know when you're not telling me something" He sat again and exhaled and so did I.

"It was like a dream within a dream"

"Like on that movie? Inception?" I put my hand on his neck, rubbing it, trying to calm him more, because I saw he was still shaken up.

"Yeah" He took my hand again "And… and there were some moments, where… Where I couldn't tell if it was real or not"

"That's why you woke up screaming?" He nodded "You're gonna be fine" I whispered moving my hand from his neck to his hair "We'll find a way"

"What if we don't?"

"We will"

I tried to tell him not to worry, but I couldn't because there would be no effect, so I did the only thing I could right now. I kissed him on the most comforting way I could.

"Well, well, look who's no longer the crazy one" Lydia said, with a tone that was from someone that was enjoying this thing more than she should, while opening the school's door on that way that a queen bee usually does.

"We're not crazy" Allison said.

"Hallucinating? Sleep paralysis? Yeah, you guys are fine"

"I hate to agree with that, but… You did die and come back to life. Maybe what you're dealing with right now it's some kind of side effects"

The school bell rang, not giving time for us to share more theories.

"We keep an eyes on each other, okay?" Stiles said looking at us "And Lydia, stop enjoying this so much."

On my way to biology Stiles grabbed my arm.

"Hey" He said "Dad and I are going to my mother's grave today"

"It's been another year already?"

"Yeah... So, I was wondering if you would like to come with us today, you know, since you're my first girlfriend and it's kind of important…" I smiled and kissed him.

"Thanks for the offer, but that is something that you and your dad do, I shouldn't be there. Other day, ok? Now go, before you get late for class"

"Come with me to buy the flowers at least"

"Ok, now go!" I laughed and he kissed me again.

"So, what happens to a person who has a near-death experience and comes out of it seeing things?"

"And is unable to tell what's real or not?"

"And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives?"

"They're all locked up because they're insane" Isaac said trying to be funny, which didn't really fit on the situation

"Ha. Can you at least try to be helpful, please?" Stiles answered sarcastically, making me chuckle

"For half of my childhood I was locked in a freezer. So, being helpful is kind of a new thing for me"

I put my hand on Stiles' mouth before he could say something inappropriate, and before I had the chance of laugh at the face he made a girl approached the table.

"Hi" She said "Hi, sorry. I couldn't help overhearing what you guys were talking about" Holy crap I had no idea that we were talking that loud. We looked between each other as silently saying to deny everything she accused us of. "And I think I actually might know what you're talking about. There's a Tibetan word for it. It's called "Bardo" it literally means in between state. The state between life and death"

"And what do they call you?" Lydia asked with her bitchy-face.

"Kira" Scott said, and we all looked at him "She's in our History class" I think I actually had English with her.

"So you're talking Bardo in Tibetan Buddhism or Indian?" Lydia asked and I gave her space so she could sit next to me

"Either, I guess. But all the stuff you guys were just saying? All that happens in Bardo, there are different progressive states where you can have hallucinations, some you see, some you just hear and you can by visited by peaceful and wrathful deities."

"Wrathful deities?" I asked "And what are those?"

"Like demons"

Wait. What?

"Demons?" Stiles asked "Why not?"

"Hold on, if there are different progressive states, then what's the last one?" Allison asked

Crap, crap, crap, crap.

"Death" I answered while I held Stiles hand

"Exactly" Kira said

Stiles dragged me with him and Scott when they decided to talk to Deaton, well technically I was already with them but I was dragged anyway, and when Stiles told him what he saw on his dream – a riddle, apparently "When is a door not a door? When is ajar" he said that it meant that Allison, Scott and Stiles had opened a door into their minds and they needed to close it… asap.

After that Sheriff Stilinski asked for Scott's help to solve a possible werewolf murder case. I wouldn't be able to go with them, my mother was going to be until late on the Sheriff's Station and I would have to take care of my little brother, Thomas.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked Tommy while eating a hand of popcorn. There were about fifteen Disney movies on the floor, when he decided I was already on the third hand.

"Finding Nemo, that's a good one" He took the popcorn from me and started watching the movie and I decided to do my homework

"Lexi, your phone" Tommy whispered pointing to the glowing screen, it had Stiles' name on it.

"Hi, what you doing?" He asked and I could hear the jeep's engine on the background.

"Hi" I whispered going to the kitchen "I was doing my homework, actually, Tommy is watching a movie"

"Can I come over?"

"Yeah, sure, how long will you take?"

"See you in ten" I hung up the phone and made a sandwich and put in on Tommy's lap "Hey, do you want to go watch the movie on you room?" He nodded.

"Is your friend coming?" Tommy asked when I gave him my laptop "The one with the funny name?"

"Go watch your movie, and go sleep when it's over!"

"Fine!"

Stiles was already standing in front of the door when I opened it, he was soaking wet with his blue hoodie, but in that moment he was probably one of the most beautiful persons I've ever seen.

He placed a quick kiss on my lips and then we went to my room. He told me what had happened today on Mr. Tate's house. Scott didn't catch any scent that wasn't from their dog. And then he told me how Scott's dad was close to make Stiles' father being fired.

"He can't do that, can he?"

"Actually he can" He snorted and rubbed his hands on his face.

I put my hand on his cheek, touching the bags under his eyes that weeks before weren't there and then touched some of his moles, moving to his hair.

"Funny" I scoffed "I kinda miss the buzz cut" He smiled a little and I bent to kiss him.

We kissed slowly on the beginning, and then I felt his tongue on mine, I could feel the taste of whatever he had ate for dinner, but it didn't bother. I uncrossed my legs and while Stiles got further on the bed I sat on his lap, each leg on his side. He undid the knot I had made on my hair, making the brown waves fall on our faces, which made him smile.

I put my hand under the hood, Stiles helped while I tried to take it out of him. I gripped my hands on his arm, holding muscles that a year ago were not there, and while I put my hand under his shirt, touching his back, he did the same.

I could feel the spots where his fingers touched me, and it was so good to have this skin-to-skin touch. We stopped for a moment, on which I took his shirt.

"Wait, wait" He said "I don't have any… uh"

"Oh" I said blushing "I think my mother does" I paused for a second "Don't ask… I'll be back in a sec"

After I left my room I went rushing to my mother's. I opened most of her drawers, until I found the blue box hidden on one of the corners under her clothes.

"Here" I threw it at him "I hope they fit"

"Thank God" He laughed "These actually do"

"Better if I don't ask?"

"Yeah"

He got up of the bed and put his hands on my neck and face and we started making out again. There's no reason to freak out, I though.

And then I noticed that Stiles was actually shirtless on my room. After I broke the kiss I touched his chest, and moved it to his shoulders and then kissed the crook of his neck, he held me tighter, and then moved his hands to the side of my t shirt, and I lifted my arms. I wasn't wearing the cutest bra I had or the underwear I thought I would when this moment arrived, but I didn't care. Stiles was there, and that was what mattered right now.

I moved my hands to his belt, trying to unclasp it, but my hands were shaking

"Sorry" I said "is just, I've never done this" He smiled and the next thing I know we were on my bed, somehow I ended up on top of him.

"It's ok… Me neither" He unclasped it for me and threw his pants on the floor, I did the same and he put his hands on my hips, moving to my wais and then to my breasts.

I unbuttoned my bra and moved his hands to my chest. I bent to kiss him again and then we were both under the covers, he took the condom out of the box, and I saw his hands were also shaking.

I took my underwear and put it on the floor, he did the same with his briefs.

"Don't be too loud" I whispered on his ear "Tommy is right next door"

We kissed again and I was the one holding his hips this time, I looked at him and noticed he was doing the same. He was being gentle.

"Lexi" He said with his voice low, while he touched my lips "I… I love you"

"Good" I smiled "I love you too"