~Author's Note: Hey to anyone who is still out there and might check out this chapter! I know it has been forever and ever since I have posted an update, but I finally got this one done. I hope anyone who reads it enjoys even though it is a bit melancholy. I think it has just a little bit of beauty in it, and there is much more hope to com. Thank you as always for your support, comments, and love! It makes my day to get to share my love for Daryl and Beth with you.~

Previously in I Will Follow You Into the Dark:

Beth and Daryl wake to the stark reality that their temporary community, The Preserve, is under assault by a herd of walkers, the formidable gates having been thrown open to try to rescue survivors on the other side. Beth spends the harrowing night in the hospital trying to save the lives of refugees, and Daryl fights along side the others at the gates in attempt to secure their sanctuary. Both Daryl and Beth, through the dark hours face their own horrors. Daryl is shot, but fights on, only to hesitate in a fateful moment…a chance he had to shut the gates in an act that would surely cost him his life. Thinking of Beth and his will to live for her, his lack of willingness to sacrifice…this moment of hesitation causes someone else to give their life for the group and community, Tyreese making that sacrifice instead. In the hospital, fatigued and traumatized by the carnage, Beth stumbles from triage trying to escape the bloody horror, only to find herself in a dangerous situation of her own, attempting to save a small girl from her father intent on releasing his turned wife (and other recently turned individuals) from a supply room where the bit had been quarantined…a small girl that Daryl had briefly encountered earlier in the night while fighting the walkers that had made their way through the gates. It is a failed attempt for Beth, waking up after losing consciousness fighting for the little girl and fighting walkers, only to find herself locked in a hospital room with an irrational doctor who believes she has been bit in the conflict. In order to save her life, Beth shares the that she is pregnant…a fact known only to her…only to find out the doctor is bit and just hiding in the room, biding his time so he won't be discovered. In his last words, the doctor tells her in the cruelest way that she should find no hope or comfort in the knowledge that she is pregnant. Her recent trials in the wilderness running with Rick, Carl, and Judith before they were found which left her malnourished and starving would prevent her baby from living. Beth takes those words to heart…believing that she will miscarry…before she even had a chance to share her joy with Daryl. It is a bittersweet reunion for Beth and Daryl after their night of fighting for survival, each of them carrying their own wounds…physical and emotional that neither is ready to share...

"We never thought we'd see another baby."

That voice…like a gentle rumble of thunder in the distance…it caught Beth…he was a good person.

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die …" Maggie's voice…it was Maggie's voice that gently drew her back to the time and place to which she belonged…

He was a good person…

Maggie's voice clear…solemn, commanded the sorrowful moments of saying goodbye.

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn, and a time to dance…"

Daryl had placed himself far from the fresh dug grave just as he'd fallen far behind the others walking in the makeshift funeral procession to the spot that had been chosen for Tyreese's final resting place, under a pleasant thicket of pines just a short distance from the road. Shady but made light by the sun filtering softly through the trees. He'd stepped back further away as the group gathered to one side of the grave, uncomfortable and avoiding although he couldn't avoid her, she wouldn't let him…arm wrapped around his waist. But he wasn't trying to avoid her either. Attempting to stand unnaturally erect and stoic-faced to hide his injury…but in the end, his pain won out, Daryl's arm around her not to comfort Beth but to lean on her for support.

"We never thought we'd see another baby."

Beth clenched her eyes, picturing…recalling Tyreese's rich baritone, committing it to memory before it was lost forever.

It had been the first time she'd heard him speak…

She'd had a baby in her arms then…Judith, and here at their goodbye, Beth carried a child too…her own. Daryl's. Theirs.

The first words she heard Tyreese speak…they were the words that struck her now, here at his end. His first words were the last she remembered…somehow made even more poignant, once a thought filled with wonder and awe, now…

Before…before the terrible night that bled into this mournful day, there were moments when she forgot her condition…long moments, even hours, only to remember again, reveling in her secret bliss, smiling bright, soft whisper giggles catching on her lips when she was alone. Fighting all those things when Daryl was near because it was her joy and hers alone just a little bit longer, but feeling so filled with life and light, it amazed her that Daryl couldn't see her glow. Now there was no forgetting, consumed only by the acute knowledge that she carried life within her… but for how much longer? The impending loss weighing heavily…so heavily on her heart, and there was no one she could or would share her burden with.

"A time to love, and a time to hate. A time of war, and a time of peace."

Numb to all the loss around her, at least that's what Beth told herself…numb, worried only for herself and Daryl who was once again wounded…maybe God was punishing her for her selfishness.

"Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of our brother Tyresse…not just Sasha's brother, our brother too. He was a large man with an even larger heart who sacrificed himself to save us and a community of many others he didn't even know. He died to protect this sanctuary. Thank you for his gentle soul, his selfless nature, and his kind and loving presence. May he find peace, love, and solace in his eternal life. Amen."

Beth wished she had Maggie's eloquence to speak for the departed…in that, Maggie reminded her of Daddy.

"In the sweet light of the valley …" Maggie's voice was shaky in the start, looking over to her pleadingly. "…when the sun falls upon the pine…"

It took a moment…more than a moment for Beth to raise her voice to join her sister…

"I shall lay down all of my troubles, and I lift up this heart of mine..." Beth's voice trembling more than Maggie's. "Take me home, Lord, oh take me home.
O'er the hillside, and o'er the sea…"

.Looking up at Daryl, his eyes pained and feral all in one…

"To the soft grass of the valley where your grace shall set me free…"

…but softening at the song…

"Through the shadow of the darkness, through the storms that lead me astray…"
…or maybe it was just at her voice.

"I shall travel forever knowing in your light, I will always stay."

Beth thought she was numb, but just now…

"Take me home…"

The way Daryl was looking at her…she just couldn't, trailing off as sorrow stole her song.

"...Lord, oh take me home. O'er the hillside and o'er the sea, to the soft grass of the valley, where your grace shall set me free." Maggie finishing as she started…alone.

The night had been awash with red, stained with blood…and now the day of tragedy concluded…this horrible chapter closed with rich, dark brown earth spilling from Sasha's hand. Soil that was fertile with the promise of life…the first to cover Tyreese in death sifted slowly through the fingers of the one who loved him most…

"Son…"

Daryl angrily swiped the snot from under his nose with his shirt sleeve…a shirt someone put him in, cleaner than anything he'd ever worn.

Preacher man who called him 'son' but wasn't his daddy held out a handful of red dirt…must've been clay…

Didn't want it…just begrudgingly took it 'cause the few people standin' 'round the hole in the ground were starin' at him. Eyes burning sores in him like his daddy's cigarettes did.

"C'mon, baby brother."

Merle reached out a hand to him same time as someone gave him a little shove from behind, Merle grabbing his arm and pullin' him close to the edge. Merle came…didn't have to…

Lookin' down in the ground…that glossy wood top of the coffin…what was even in that stupid box? Heard the firemen say there wasn't nothin' left…she was all burnt away. Catchin' the sob in his chest, strangling it back so no one heard…Mama was gone…just gone.

Puffy-eyed and furious at the world…furious at her too 'cause she left him, Daryl realized just how hard he'd been clenching that dirt and finally threw it down on that coffin and ran away. Small and squirrelly enough that he slipped easily outta Merle's grasp, even when he tried to catch him again. Ran because he was afraid and angry. Stopped and plopped down defeated under a tall oak tree 'cause he realized he didn't have nowhere to run...no one to run to. Couldn't outrun all the feelings eating him alive. Looking up at the bright sun flitting through the leaves, scrunching up his face and trying his best to fight back the tears…

He wasn't mad at her…not really…didn't hate her for leavin', just missed her and didn't know what to do with it all…

"Don't let 'em see ya cry." Merle, he was a man now. Had a man's voice full of grit and gravel, but he wasn't bein' cruel.

He didn't even have to come. She wasn't his mama…but he came anyway.

Daryl sniffed back his emotions, putting on his brave face and givin' a stoic nod. Wasn't gonna let nobody see him cry…think he's weak…never.

Merle'd sat down beside him under the tree, back up against the rough bark. "And don't ever let him…don't ever let our old mansee you cry."

Daryl didn't nod his head, just bowed it, already knowin' the bitter truth. Their old man didn't even show up to Mama's funeral…

Fearin'…knowing the answer… "what happens now…?" Barely eeking it out.

"I got you, baby brother. You 'n me…I got ya." Merle hooked his arm around Daryl's shoulder in a brotherly embrace.

It was a lie. Merle couldn't take care of him. Merle was gonna leave him too. But it was a lie Daryl accepted because it was the lie he needed to hear.

Daryl took the wrinkled bandanna his brother offered him and wiped away his tears. It was past time to grow up…

This time he still wanted to run, and he had somewhere to run to. Had someone to run with…

"A time to kill, And a time to heal…" There was something centering about Maggie's voice, but the whole of the situation had him set on edge, and it was the youngest Greene who was ever on his mind.

Run away with me, Beth…

Words that he didn't say and she didn't hear…

White…so very white…those cheap canvas shoes on Beth's feet. They weren't made for runnin'…too big for her. Would she even be willin' to run with him when she found out what he did…didn't do…to get back to her?

Or was it just him whowas all messed up inside, hating himself…conflicted?

But none of that mattered when it came down to it; he'd made a promise…more than one promise to the woman standing beside him…

I promise, Beth...I'll keep you safe until I die. I'll stay alive as long as I can.

And the implicit promise wrapped up in both of those…

No more sacrifices.

He couldn't say that one to her though she'd asked, but he'd keep that one until he couldn't…until his life was the price for Beth's.

Still so white…those shoes…'cause the damp spring soil dug up at the graveside hadn't dirtied 'em. He'd lingered far from the group of mourners, his group, his family…on the outside again, but this time by his own choosin'. Beth beside him…holdin' him steady, chose to make herself an outsider too…to stand by his side.

I lost my boots…

That had been the only thing she'd offered about what happened to her through the dark hours while he was fighting and failing 'em all to get back to her. It was odd, the things that became part of you…important in one way or another, even if only to yourself. Beth always had her fancy, girly boots…now worn and weathered, but still hers…

"Merle never did nothin' like that his whole life…" Mumblin' it, he was turnin' into a damned broken record…already told Carol that once, sitting on the cold ground packing up his bike when they were settin' the stage for their defense against the Governor's attack.

She was standing near him, looked up and bumped him in the arm with her shoulder, an awkward show of comfort. Daryl dipped his head, averting his gaze. Gripping his crossbow strap across his chest just for somethin' to do with his hands. He didn't hear Hershel's words…not really…not to start with, rather tryin' to swallow the heavy weight of losin' the last of his blood. He was the last livin' Dixon. And maybe the world was better for it.

Everything was changing. They all gathered…just them, not the refugees from Woodbury, 'cause it wasn't just them anymore…

But they gathered to say goodbye to Andrea. She'd been brought back with loving care…brought her home…yeah, home, that's what it was starting to feel like. They fought for it…you fought for your home and the people in it. Family. Glancing around…these people…they were…

You died for family…Andrea did. And Merle…

Merle was gone too…

After the Governor, Rick went out with him to find Merle…bring him back to give him a place to rest.

They'd wrapped Andrea's body so carefully in a canvas tarp to bring her home outta respect. They needed a tarp for Merle…to carry what was left after Daryl got done with him. Rick hadn't said a word when they came upon the massacre. Hadn't judged. Just looked at him all sorrowful, but in a way that didn't make Daryl feel all self-conscious. Daryl dug a grave for his brother… 'cause there was no one else likely to give a fuck. But maybe at the heart of it, he did it 'cause Merle was his brother…

It was Andrea's funeral…had no delusions 'bout that…

But…

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends…for his brother. Please welcome your son, Merle, into your eternal embrace…"Hershel's voice, gentle and dignified…he sounded like a father should, like a father Daryl never had.

Lifted his gaze for a moment to find the old man looking his way…gave Hershel a tiny nod of gratitude while choking back an emotion he'd rather not share with anyone, casting his eyes down again.

It couldn't have made everyone happy…Glenn would never forgive Merle for what happened to him, even more so Maggie.They were no doubt glad to see Merle gone…maybe they had the rights. Rick had no love for Merle neither. Probably none of them considered that at all…what Hershel recognized…Merle'd gone out trying to save 'em. And dammit, Daryl's heart trembled…someone commending Merle's soul unto God. Accepting it was Merle's funeral too, after all.

"Bethy…why don't you give us a song for the departed?" Hershel urged his youngest daughter to share her gift.

She was such a timid little songbird…pretty…such a pretty voice, but so unsure of herself. Daryl, peering through his unkempt bangs at her across the graveside, watching as she thought…contemplated her song. Quickly threw his eyes down when he thought she caught him. As the first quavering strains of her song graced the air, Daryl watched her self-consciously dig the toe of her boot into the loose soil…

What in the hell happened to her boots? Why in the hell would she have taken her boots off during the massacre at the hospital?

Just then noticing something off about the white canvas shoes; one was laced up different than the other.

And why in the hell was he so fucking fixated on those cheap shoes, laced up all wrong?

Simple… 'cause it gave him a reason to keep his eyes averted…so very muchlike the version of himself from a time not so long ago who avoided lookin' anyone in the eye.

He'd lost his brother too…Merle'd died tryin' to save 'em in the best way he knew how…

…but not like that mattered a lick to anyone here and now,'specially not to Sasha.

Beth shifted beside him…into him, and Daryl found the physical and emotional strength to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

Maggie was the one who began the song this time…a pleasant voice, but it didn't touch his heart like Beth's ever had.

Beth joined her sister in the funeral hymn, her voice small and fractured by emotion. Daryl didn't just hear her song…felt it, holdin' Beth close, feeling it down to his bones.

She sang when they buried Andrea and Merle too…it wasn't a song for Merle, but sometimes Daryl liked to think maybe it partly was. Beth was such a sweet thing, she wouldn't begrudge him thinking her song had been for his brother.

A queer thought worked its way into his head…losing the last of his blood, it was a staggering thing to bear, but Merle had to have known he wasn't coming back from that one, whether or not he managed to kill the Governor. He died trying to save 'em all at the prison…or had he been making a different kind of sacrifice? If Merle stayed…Daryl was smart enough to realize he'd have always been the little brother to a man who'd never be a real part of their group. Would've never become his own man. Merle must've realized that too…maybe Daryl was being a fuckin' romantic, but perhaps Merle gave his life so Daryl could have a real chance at one.

Woofing in a sudden strangled breath…

Honing in on one string of lyrics that passed from his wife's lips…

"Take me home…"

Beth's melody wavered, glancing up at him. Daryl, again overwhelmed by the knowledge he was the last of his blood, but even more grateful…blessed by the woman at his side. The last of his blood…but reminded that he wasn't the last Dixon.

"You okay…" His voice was rusty, but he found it for her; she was walking slightly behind him, hand in his as he led the way back to the road.

They were the first to depart the graveside service…didn't need to add insult to injury for the grief-stricken with his presence, not anymore than necessary. Had the good grace to know that.

Daryl glanced back to find her eyes tired, swollen, and puffy…but they weren't vacant.

"Mm-hmm…" It wasn't much of an answer from Beth.

Nothin' was fine, but they were…in the scope of things that's all that mattered.

Met the blacktop quicker than he anticipated, the soft grass shoulder gave way to what was once a path of progress…a sign of civilization, but there was nothing civil about that pavement anymore. Taken aback…literally stumbling back, he now stood side by side with Beth.

What the hell…what were all those people doin' wandering down the road?

They were barely able to get out to bury Tyreese, and they had Abe with 'em…he had the command in Maddox's absence.

Maybe he knew what it was instantly…maybe he knew, but the hope he still clung too didn't let him see right away…didn't let it register. Didn't take long though to recognize the tide of human suffering and resignation driven forward by a tan HumVEE, hemmed in on each side by soldiers. It was the last journey of the dying, a march to their death. It left Daryl sucking in a sharp breath…the realities of their existence once again rushing back to him.

"Hey…hey! Hold up there!" Abraham strode forward with authoritative intent, hand held up to halt the Hummer. "What in hell's balls are you doin'?"

To his credit, Abe commanded enough respect or fear, whichever it was, to demand attention, the whole damned procession comin' to a standstill. A grunt Daryl recognized but couldn't put a name to stepped down off the running-board of the truck where he'd been riding to have a word with the fire-haired som'bitch.

Daryl heard, but he saw more, something instinctive causing him to push Beth behind him as if somehow that would prevent her from hearing or seeing the brutal truth. Barely bandaged wounds, fever setting in that somehow ate away the fear and panic that came before. This was an extermination…all these people who sought refuge and inadvertently caused the walkers to breach their fragile sanctuary…

"They're bit. And they ain't even ours. Even if they were, we've got orders." Soldier boy spoke the words like he believed 'em, like he was okay with it…but…

There wasn't any person who was still human that would be okay with the reality of it.

For all his bluster in the beginning…thinking back to Jim bein' bit in the early days back at their first camp and trying to take a pickaxe to him, deep down, even then, Daryl was driven more by fear than fervor. Thinking that's what had to be done; he was the only one willing to do the hard thing. But he would've balked if Rick hadn't stopped him.

Yet here they were at the crossroads of humanity and survival…again…

"You're gonna take 'em out and put 'em down like Old Yeller?"Red got no response. "Who gave the order; Mad ain't here. Decisions fall to me."

"Protocol." An answer finally, but not a very good one.

"You mean protocol like whoever threw them fucking gates open last night, got us all in this cluster fuck to start with?" Abraham didn't get all emotional, fiery som'bitch got angry…but emotional, no…getting all worked up wasn't gonna help him work through all these impossible decisions. Grabbing his subordinate by the arm, asserting his superiority… "Who gave the order? 'Cause I sure in the hell didn't."

Daryl sensed the rest of everyone gathered up behind 'em, finally reaching the road after saying goodbye to Tyreese.

"The Council…"

"The Council…? Simply put, there is a vast ocean of shit you people…your council, people behind those gates, even you don't know shit about." Abraham was cracking…going over that line between anger and emotion. "We…the collective we…" gesturing to encompass everyone in their group… "know every fine grain of said shit... and then some. We've been out there since the beginning, had hellfire and fury rained down on us at every fucking turn…"

Abe's fist was turning white gripping the soldiers arm.

"What should be done?" It was a rhetorical question, and one Abe couldn't answer…finally releasing him.

"Wha…what are you gonna do?" Maggie's voice broke, stepping up beside him and Beth…could see her in his peripheral vision.

"Can't have infected inside the wall, ma'am. Can't wait for 'em to turn either…can't risk it after everything we lost last night. Just…" The soldier …he was still human, breaking off before the awful truth spilled out.

It hit Maggie, realizing these people…infected…were being marched just far enough away from Apocatopia Estates so nobody had to see or bear the ugly truth. Must've been a gut punch, sounded like the wind got knocked out of her… "But they're still people…" in a tortured breath.

"Not anymore." He didn't believe it, stepping back up on the Hummer; he may have been a battle-hardened soldier, but he didn't believe it at all, just sayin' what he had to.

The reality shook Daryl. Never one to avoid the hard things in life 'cause what else could it take from him…

"Mommy…"

It was the smallest voice, but each and every person fixated on it…Beth fixated on it, stepping into him with a horrified gasp racking her chest.

"Mommy…Mommy…" The little girl, wild blonde hair, a child he thought he helped to save…crying…wandering aimlessly towards a guard that kept the infected in line, weakly calling out for someone who apparently didn't exist anymore. "Daddy…"

Her wound wasn't visible…just the blood soaked through the t-shirt covering her tummy.

"Daddy…" trying that one again, but still no one…the little waif with dead eyes visibly trembling.

There was wetness at the corner of his…the fury…snapping when the guard used the butt of his AR to push her away.

"Hey…hey, you douche bag!"Didn't realize he'd made a move 'til he was spittin' venom in GI Jackass' face. "She's just a little girl…hold her fuckin' hand!" Daryl spat, grateful now for the juice and cookies Beth forced down him.

"Mind your own…"

Daryl's fist met face.

Abe between with a hand firm on his chest, pressing him back, Daryl taking small satisfaction in watching the asshole spit out a molar along with a mouthful of blood.

Stepping back, a fire in his shoulder and the feel of his own blood runnin' again, too much for the bandage…dammit…his weakness on display…

Some other anonymous camouflaged figure had the decency to pick up the little girl as the call, "Move on…" rang out…carrying her off to her end. Daryl turned his back on it. Couldn't watch. It was all for nothing.

Swiping away a single hot tear…fuck if everyone saw…

One star…just one star…

Casting a solitary glance over her shoulder…there was most everyone she knew in the world, minus one…

They had all trudged, defeated, back from Tyreese's funeral, through broken fences that hadn't been able to protect them to start. No one talked about it…where they were going…they all just ended up together, silent and mournful, in the duplex some of them now called home. Safety in numbers…maybe always knowing fences and walls weren't what mattered, only they could keep each other safe when it came down to it. But as today brutally reminded them, not without a price. Like moths to a flame, they were drawn to each other, now in sleep, not strewn across the spacious living room or even in bedrooms behind closed doors, but together on the floor, close enough that each could touch…could feel the comforting presence of one another. Even forgoing the comforts of the cushioned couch so that they could all be nearer. There was a cold space between Maggie and Daryl…the space she'd occupied…now empty, Beth slipping from the safety when sleeplessness and the all-consuming sadness balled up in her chest drove her from it. Leaving Daryl in his fitful sleep, alone, on the fringes of their human pack.

Found herself sitting, knees drawn up on the padded bench pushed in the window alcove. She just wanted…needed to see one star twinkling in the black night sky through the perfectly paned windows, but the pale yellow light from the dusk to dawnlights lining the street snuffed out thousands of tiny sparks of hope in the heavens.

No stars…Beth instead hypnotized by the eerie…almost ghastly all-night lights…remnants of a fallen world.

Daryl gave a side-glance to the half empty bottle of Jack Merle pushed his way before silently shakin' his head 'no'. Wasn't about to dull any of his senses… 'specially during the dark hours. To Merle's credit, since they unceremoniously discovered the shit hit the fan, Merle found a surprising sense of sobriety during the daylight hours, but when the sun set…well, old habits died hard. Not that he drank hard, didn't drink himself into delirium or nothin', but 'just enough to take the edge off' was more than enough to get 'em killed. Daryl wasn't about to get himself bit and turn into one of those fuckin' cannibal som'bitches.

"Your loss, baby brother, heh…" A low voice and quiet chuff from Merle put Daryl on edge. Quiet Merle was cautious Merle.

Reassessing their situation…their makeshift camp behind 'em, tent big enough for two, low fire burning in a pit so as nothing or no one would be drawn to it, their position itself at the edge of the woods at the highest point of the bluff overlooking the quarry lake…

Further off in the distance, although it couldn't be seen in the darkness, it was there…Daryl knew…the Atlanta skyline.

"How long you think before they make it up this way?" Daryl quietly wondered out loud.

Hadn't crossed paths with the walking corpses since those early chaotic days when everything just crumbled…having to learn quick to survive. Good thing the Dixon brothers knew how to think fast on their feet, and, above all, knew how to keep breathing.

"Don't fret, Darylina. They ain't gonna bother us none up here with all them people still runnin' 'round down there, still tryin' to stick close to the city. They're just ringing the damned dinner bell. B'sides, way I see it, don't seem like them things have enough balance or muscular coordination to climb up this terrain."

Daryl tried to find comfort in his brother's words; there wasn't no lie in 'em. They were survivors, being smart…or in the very least, smarter than the others left…keeping to the woods and the high ground. They were made for this. But how long could they outrun the end?

"Do you think it's just bites…or is it scratches too…?" Daryl wasn't a scientist…still tryin' to wrap his head around it all… 'specially in the long nights when his mind got restless.

"Don't matter. Take 'em down before they get a chance, otherwise…" The slosh in the bottle…Merle taking another deep swig…

"But what if…" Daryl hesitated, not actually knowing if he was ready to consider that 'what if' at all.

"You asking me what my final wishes are?" Merle shifted to face him though they could barely make out each other, the clink of glass against the rock, putting his bottle aside. "I get bit…I turn…"

Merle's words broke off, and Daryl dipped his head…fighting the knot clenching his stomach.

"You put me down quick as a rabid dog before I get a chance to hurt you…you hear me?"

Daryl couldn't even nod…he and Merle, they'd had it rough their entire lives, and there were times Daryl hated him…but…

"Daryl! You hear me?" Feeling Merle's eyes boring holes into him, a grunt of recognition Daryl's only acknowledgment. "And it's gotta be you that does it…"

That had Merle trailing off again.

"Gotta be you, Daryl…"

Merle's sweaty arm thrown 'round his shoulder made Daryl go stiff, not 'cause he was uncomfortable with his brother but because he was uncomfortable with the stupid feelings welling up in his chest. Merle broke him down though, physically, pulling him close enough that Daryl's shoulder bumped into his chest.

"This ain't the first time we've realized that we're the last of us, baby brother. Just you n' me."

They sat like that, in silence, the summer frogs and cicadas singing in the night like nothin' in their world was amiss.

"Idiots…" Daryl mumbled under his breath, watching a campfire flare up…someone down there must've thrown another log on the fire.

The group made camp the day before…didn't have enough sense to take the highest ground, or make camp away from the road, or keep quiet much less keep their fires low.

"Well, I think it's 'bout time we went and welcomed our new neighbors…" Merle squeezed Daryl's shoulder once more before releasing him to push his ass up off the ground with an exaggerated groan.

Daryl stood too, quick and steady on his feet to stand between Merle and whatever he planned to do.

"I told you…I ain't doin' that! There's women and kids down there…families. Ain't got nothin' to start with."

Daryl had gone down and done enough recon when the small caravan arrived to realize whoever was movin' into the neighborhood wasn't gonna be a threat. It was just people…a few sturdy lookin' men, not enough…mostly women and kids, a beat up old RV, a church van, and a couple of cars. No worry to him and Merle, wouldn't even be able to take care of themselves.

"C'mon, Daryl, ain't nothin' wrong with tryin' to find us some friends for the end of the world…"

"Hehm…" A strangled cry sputtered out before it passed his lips, Daryl startled out of sleep.

The fire burning though his shoulder a rude awakening when he jerked into consciousness…

It wasn't even a nightmare; a memory, and not that bad of a memory in the scope of things. No, it wasn't that…he was haunted by the events of the day that hadn't faded when night set in. But the worst of it…what shook him…wakin' up with an empty space on the floor beside him when he knew Beth should've been there. Took him back to a place…a time…that just thinkin' on it left panic thrumming in his chest, worse than the throbbing in his shoulder. Thankfully, for the sake of his frantic heart, Beth hadn't wandered far…saw her illuminated, perched on the window seat. Wasn't quite the spry hunter springing to his feet, but he was able to find 'emwithout waking the rest of the world.

A quiet step towards her…he wondered what she was looking at or if she was even lookin' at anything at all.

Another step, and it looked like she dipped her head to set it on her knees where they were drawn up close to her chest. Was she crying?

Beth hummed a soothing lullaby to herself as much as to the baby cradled in her arms…having to remind herself that the little girl finally had a name…Judith.

The harsh and harried voices of people she didn't know…the cellblock doors clanging shut, the eerie echoes caused by any little noise in the prison set Beth's nerves on edge, barely peeking into the hallway from the safety of the cell she'd claimed as her own. Those voices were punctuated by an agitated woman yelling about being locked in…but Beth couldn't really see anything, and maybe she didn't want to, swallowing the hard reality that they were probably outnumbered. Just her, Daddy…still recovering from losing his leg, Carol not yet entirely recovered from her ordeal in the tombs, Carl, and the former inmate named Axel whose gazes lingered too long on her more often than not. And a newborn baby. They were the weakest left behind, thought to be kept safe locked up in a prison, but somehow, the outside got in…and people were just as dangerous as walkers.

Comforted by the little girl who slumbered so peacefully, Beth hugged her close.

But Judith started waking…she was gonna be hungry.

It seemed safe enough…Daddy was in talking to the strangers, bandaging one of them, when Beth approached the door that led into what had become their common area. The conversation was calm…tempers had cooled, Beth assessing them safely through the bars…a boy about her age, maybe a year or two older; a man who appeared to be his father-Daddy's current patient; a woman; and an imposingly large man wearing a sock hat even in the Georgia heat.

"I need to feed her…" Beth explained quietly, Carl's eyes both wounded and wild looking up, narrowing on her, weighing her request.

How was it that she had to ask the kid's permission to do her job?

"Carl." She didn't raise her voice, just used a more assertive tone laced with admonishment, and the juvenile gatekeeper granted her access.

Beth kept her head down, Judith clutched close to her breast after Carl unlocked the barred door for her, avoiding eye contact with the new people. Shy…more than shy…wary of anyone who wasn't part of their tight-knit group. Beth felt their eyes on her, but she had a job to do…something precious at the center or her attention, the little girl in her arms.

"How old's the baby?"The woman asked, her unfamiliar voice soft with a tiny hint of surprise…wonder…something Beth couldn't entirely identify.

Still so self-conscious in a world full of survivors who saw her as weak, more burden than asset…was she supposed to answer?

"Barely a week old." Daddy replied, the new life a joy to them though tarnished by the price they paid.

Was little Judith a week old already? Who could bear to mark the time anymore? Beth hadn't counted the sunrises and sunsets in a long time…even feeling safe when they found the prison, it was a short lived hope which died quickly with the loss of Lori and T-Dog…left apprehensive and afraid. Especially now with Glenn and Maggie missing and the strongest among them gone, serving more important purposes than those left behind at the prison.

Beth attempted to banish all her worries…all of her insecurities…focusing on Judith and the task of getting her fed once she reached the counter where they kept her formula.

Soft footsteps padded towards her, no doubt the woman who just spoke, Beth ignoring her approach, cradling Judith in her arms and preparing her bottle.

"To be honest, we never thought we'd see another baby." A voice from further behind her. It was another unfamiliar voice, deep and soulful, the imposing man, unknown to her. But his voice, like a gentle rumble of thunder in the distance…it caught Beth. Something about him…he was a good person.

"Beautiful."

Beth startled…just a little…not having realized how close those footsteps she'd been ignoring brought the woman. But Beth stilled herself, shyly turning…just a bit, towards the stranger while smiling down at Judith. She'd fallen to her world of dreams again cradled softly to Beth's chest.

"Thanks." Beth's voice came out meek, briefly glancing up at the woman who had spoken to her as was polite, looking down on the sweet little girl again, then back to her work.

"How are you feeling?"

It was becoming a conversation, Beth turning again, this time more fully facing everyone, those she knew and those she didn't. Why wouldn't she feel okay?

Oh…

Suddenly feeling flushed and more than just a little naïve…they thought…

…taken aback by someone thinking the baby was hers. It made Beth restless, especially in front of Daddy, thinking these new people thought she'd done anything that would've resulted in pregnancy. The world she came from, the God fearing community where the one pregnant girl she knew in high school became a cautionary tale of lost morals that even a shotgun wedding couldn't cease the whispers…nothing could overcome the stigma.

Looking around like a deer in the headlights, all wide-eyed and struggling to find her words…what were the right words?

"She's not mine."

And perhaps that was the tragedy of the moment. She wasn't Judith's mother…that little girl didn't have a mother, would only know the sadness of a mother she never knew. That world where a teenage mom was a sinner, an outcast…didn't exist anymore. Any child was lucky to have their mother…and if humanity was going to survive…

They all must've thought she was a simple thing, but something about them assuming she was a young mother suddenly reminded Beth how much of life she was going to miss out on, how inexperienced she was…would probably die that way, but somehow she found herself as the stand-in mother of this little orphaned girl.

Beth looked away, sadness clenching her heart at the truth she was forced to tell. Lori's loss still weighed heavily on her…

"Where's the mother?" The woman questioned, maybe, in that instant, forgetting the world they lived it…the silence her answer. "I'm sorry…"

She should've known…shouldn't have needed to ask.

"Man, you people have been through the mill…" The man with the rumbling voice intoned, sympathetic, capturing their journey in one sentence.

But there was a flicker of hope, wasn't there? Little Judith, safe, healthy, alive against all odds…life found a way to prevail.

To be honest, we never thought we'd see another baby…

Tyreese was dead. She didn't have to know how he died to know it was horrible. Death never seemed to be gentle now…she didn't know how he died, but seeing the anguish set deep in Sasha's brown eyes at the funeral, the pain etched in the sharp planes of Daryl's face…something much more than the pain from his wound, but selfish…she was selfish. All that mattered was that Daryl was still alive…that he wasn't the one in the grave.

Selfish because the only sorrow she felt was the sorrow for the tiny life that flickered inside her…happiness and hope turned to ash…the most horrible part of the night in the hospital. That little life that she would never hold to her breast…the doctor proclaimed its fate as if he were God…

"Fuck hope. You'll figure that out soon enough when the hope you think you carry bleeds out."

…would never see the light and joy dancing in Daryl's eyes as he held his child in his arms for the first time.

"…when the hope you think you carry bleeds out."

His words…the words of the dying doctor were burned into her mind, as if everything he said were written in stone. She fought them when they flew from his mouth…those words…but now she wasn't strong enough to banish them.

Maybe it was better she was prepared for it though even thinking on the impending loss consumed her with sadness and anger at cruel fate that gave her something only to rip it away…the little one that belonged to her and Daryl. Someone who didn't yet fully exist but was real enough to her that she couldn't pull her thoughts away from him or her…was it a boy or girl? What would Daryl have wanted?

It was all so selfish…wanting this, hoping for this…trying for this. Maybe they should have been content with Judith, the little girl they both held so close to heart.

Maybe Tyreese's words were prophetic somehow…we never thought we'd see another baby…maybe they shouldn't; maybe there shouldn't be anymore children.

Damn it…

She just wished she could forget, like every day before today in the short time she'd been certain. She would forget for hours at a time only to remember, smiling contentedly to herself. Just for a moment…a few minutes…she wished she could forget to ease her troubled mind, but it was an impossible wish…

It wasn't Daryl she startled at, his warm hand settling comfortingly on her shoulder…

"It's me…" His quiet rasp was unnecessary, but Beth needed it just as much as his warm touch, his presence…just him.

She startled because she was afraid Daryl would discern the truth…the whole truth, and Beth couldn't bear the thought of Daryl carrying her burden, suffering as she would suffer. Until he had to know, when the loss became reality. Quickly drawing her hand away from her tummy…just then realizing it was there…before he saw and thought on it.

Being silent like he was…probably wasn't the smartest idea…laying a gentle touch on her shoulder. She jerked, but even before he got out his rusty "It's me…", Beth's delicate fingers found his, then letting out a small sigh, nuzzled her cheek against their hands.

"You okay…? Whatcha doin'?" Another gravelly whisper as she tilted her face to look up at him, a nod and tight pressed lips the answer to his first question…a bald faced lie to his second, Beth taking a long moment to think on it.

"Taking watch…" She wasn't even trying to make him believe.

Dammit though…maybe they should've set a watch, but nobody did, and that certainly wasn't what Beth thought she was doing.

Settling down on the bench beside her, Beth turned a little to face him.

"You okay? Trying that question again, not knowing if he wanted a different answer…maybe just more of an answer, or assurance that she was alright.

Her eyes settled on his face…pained like You okay…? was a loaded question, but that look in them, maybe it was the answer that was loaded…

"I tried, but nothin' I did mattered…"

It was Daryl who lowered his head this time. It wasn't Beth who was supposed to be put in a situation where her doing anything or not mattered. Feeling shitty enough as it was, it was just another fucking reality that Daryl had to swallow.

"You wanna talk about it?" Peering up through his bangs…he would listen, much as it would pain him.

"…that little girl…" Her sad voice broke off with Beth shaking her head no so quickly…she regretted even saying it.

And he wasn't gonna push.

Watching that little girl bein' carried away by a death squad…that…that had him broken too..

She didn't ask him in words…not even in ways, but Daryl found himself croaking it up anyway.

"I didn't…" He didn't try hard enough…didn't do the thing that would've come so natural to him once upon a time. Torn up because he was sorry he couldn't, but he wasn't sorry he was still breathing. "I lived…and Tyreese died 'cause of it…"

Beth sniffed back an unbidden emotion…sitting up straight…

"Damn it, Daryl…you don't ever question being here, being alive… 'cause I can't…I can't do it without you…" The harshness of her words was softened by her fingers brushing the hair outta his eyes and her lips brushing ever so gently against his.

"I wanna go home…" His lips spoke their truth before Beth pulled far enough back to look at him.

Daryl still wasn't so good at feeling like he deserved to blurt out whatever he wanted…but…Beth agreed.

"We can…we can go tomorrow if you feel up to it." Beth's fingers traced the side of his face, his cheek…her soft voice soothing to his troubled heart. "Everything here should be safe and secured by then…"

Realizing quick enough that she thought he meant their little tin can of a trailer.

"I wanna go home…our home." Daryl asserted. Not holding back this time.

Beth swallowed hard, thinking, but he already knew her answer. Reaching out, after a moment's pause, she touched his wounded shoulder. Light as her touch was, the tender muscles flinched and jerked though Daryl fought hard to hold himself steady…to prove even though he knew…knew he couldn't protect her.

"We can't go…"

It was like another bullet tearin' through him…hurt just the same, worse, even though this didn't draw the blood.

"…not yet…"

Her not yet the only notion giving him the tiniest flicker of hope that that life was still possible for them.

It all somehow felt surreal, sitting on the bench, facing Daryl, moonlight pouring through the window casting light and shadow on his drawn face.

"You okay…?"

It took a long moment to process his words, much less understand that she needed to reply…

A haze clouded her thoughts and everything turned to nothing…

She needed to reply…reply with some sort of truth…

…suddenly and profoundly hit with the image of the little blonde girl she tried to save and somehow managed to trigger a series of unfortunate events…that's how it happened, wasn't it? The little girl she tried to save…a painful sob she tried to hide racking her chest.

"I tried, but nothin' I did mattered…" When she could form words.

That was the terrible truth of it.

Daryl's head dipped low, casting his gaze away…just as affected by her pain as she was.

Beth looked away too…far far away, out the window, trying to squint away the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She didn't want Daryl to see…didn't want to make him feel even worse. He needed to be calm to heal. But still she felt it when his eyes found her face again in the faint light.

"You wanna talk about it…?"

Her words came too quick to draw back, lookin' to him through teary eyes…

"That little girl…" Three words threatened to break her, seeing the same was true of Daryl, quickly shaking her head no because she didn't want to talk about it, maybe even trying to shake the traumatic image away. She couldn't…

A little girl marched off to her death, alone, with no one she loved to dry her tears or hold her hand as the end came. Beth tried, but it didn't matter. It made it worse. A child was forced to die alone because of her.

Beth had been struck aghast and simultaneously struck numb seeing her…hearing her call out for her mommy then daddy, but Beth…she didn't have any more emotion…no more tears to cry in that moment. No more courage to make a stand because she would just fail again. The little girl was gonna die no matter what she did.

It would've been a kinder fate to have allowed her to die in her father's arms when he opened that supply room door…the little girl's mother was in there, turned; but they would've gone together. Wasn't that the best any of them could ever hope for…going in the arms of the person they loved the most? The image of that little girl would haunt Beth for the rest of her life, and it was all her fault…

"I didn't…" Daryl's voice drew her back, Beth confused…but maybe it was because she was lost in her own troubles. "I lived, and Tyreese died 'cause of it." His words came heavily.

I didn't…

It finally clicked…his words and meaning.

Beth said she tried.

I didn't…

Daryl didn't try…he said it as if it were his darkest confession…

Knowing him, that wasn't the truth of it, about trying…it was that he made a choice that allowed him to live…

Said it as if his life were worthless…

Furious at first…

"Damn it, Daryl…you don't ever question being here…" She wanted to ball up her fists and beat at his chest, crying…he was so stupid sometimes. But suddenly realizing that Daryl made the choice to live… it was a choice that haunted him, but he chose…

Something in her was able to keep her voice quiet so the others wouldn't wake, but the seriousness of her words and sentiment could never be mistaken.

"…being alive, 'cause…"

'Cause you're going to be a father, Daryl… her heart ached to be able to share such a profound joy, almost…she almost…but couldn't risk breaking his heart.

"…I can't do this without you…" It was the truth.

Softening herself, moving the hair from his eyes…just a whisper of a kiss.

"I wanna go home…"

Beth felt his words against her lips more than she heard them, pulling back to see him…really see him…see that childlike innocence his face buried beneath the trials of his years.

"We can…" Why would she say no? "We can go tomorrow if you're feeling up to it. Everything should be safe and secured by then."

She tried to force a tiny smile for him. She'd rather be alone with him in their own little place anyway.

He straightened his slumped shoulders as if standing his ground even though it took him further from her.

"I wanna go home. OUR home…"

Beth's heart sank, not for the first time in these past hours, swallowing hard…again selfish…so selfish.

She couldn't leave. When she lost the baby, she would need help. She didn't want to die if something terrible happened, as if a miscarriage wasn't terrible enough. And there was a hospital here…maybe they didn't have the resources to save her baby, but maybe they would try to save her. And if the worst did happen…is somehow she died too…Daryl would need their family.

I wanna go home too…

But just now, life wasn't passing out everything they wanted.

Instead of saying those words that she couldn't, Beth did the only thing that she thought might make Daryl understand they needed to stay, allowing her fingers to gently graze over his bandaged bullet wound. Hating herself the moment she did, seeing how it rocked him, but not just because of the physical pain. She created a wound deeper than the one the bullet bore through his shoulder.

Selfish…so selfish…putting this on him.

He would think she was pointing out his weakness…

Saying that he couldn't protect her…

How could she ever forgive herself?

…this was on her.

"We can't go yet…" She couldn't look at him, but instead their hands found one another, fingers entwining as they so often did when they couldn't find the words.

Looking out the window, trying to find the stars again, as futile as it was…there was no damn star to wish upon.

An angry tear burned down her cheek…cursing her childish notion.

She was too old to be wishing on stars.

But…

Nobody was ever too old to pray…

Please, God…