Title: Mosaic Broken Hearts
Full Summary: Bella has spent her whole life in Forks with her dad and three brothers. She is dating Paul and couldn't be happier until one day Paul goes through the change and won't have any contact with her. When a label from Nashville calls Bella and asks her to move her life for her dream, she agrees, thinking her and Paul are over. In Nashville Bella encounters a new school, a new job, new relationships, a handsome Cullen, and even wolves. Bella returns to Forks many times during her record production due to tragic death and life-threatening injuries. What happens when Paul sees her again? Will he imprint? A lot has changed when Bella returns for good to finish school just a short two years later.
Swan Family= Bella, Jaxon, Isaac, Tucker, Charlie
Lahote Family= Paul, Claire, Laura, Pam (mom)
Black Family= Jake, Rachel, Billy
Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight character or scene that you recognize. I also do not own ANY of the songs I use in this story. I will periodically change the lyrics and will note this change with an asterisk* and explain the change at the end of the chapter.
Chapter One: What Else Can I Do
Life has a funny way of surprising you. Sneaking up on you, doing a 180, dropping you through a secret door…I've always believed these things were good…that they helped you grow as a person and took your life in the direction it was meant to go in. I never say never…anything can happen.
I'm not so sure anymore.
I know I'm young…about to finish my first semester of grade ten. What do girls my age really know about life? Not a lot… the basics really. I know right from wrong, I know my religious beliefs and my moral compass. I know how to cook and clean…how to follow directions. And I know how I feel. Unfortunately…that's what got me into this mess.
"I can't believe I just did that… oh my god…" I whispered to my computer screen. I watched as the message went from sent to read and I held my breath. Why did I just do that? Why…why would I ever tell a guy I like him through Facebook… I saw him start to type back and I closed my eyes. I just couldn't help it. We've been flirting back and forth for forever now…we have the same friends…hang out every single day… and it just came over me. I needed to get it off my chest. But now? I was gearing up to start high school in a month and here I go and make things even more awkward.
I'm currently sitting in my room in Franklin, Tennessee, visiting my mom and Phil for a few weeks at the end of summer vacation. I spend the majority of my year with my dad in Forks but there are a few weeks of the year over Christmas and summer vacation that I come to Tennessee. My mom and Phil live here because Phil is an engineer and is stationed here. I heard the message bing onto my computer and kept my eyes closed. I took a deep, slow breath and opened my eyes. And there it was…plain as day…
"I like you too. :D"
I smiled, remembering how I had felt in that moment. It had been incredible… everything had come together so beautifully. That was August 5th and I had returned to Forks August 20th.
Of course that led to a relationship that apparently everyone had seen coming…except us. Which is generally the way it works, isn't it? All the friends and parents can see it and the lovebirds are blind to it all. I was quite surprised given our age difference…he was fifteen and I was thirteen but when you hang out all the time that seems to fade into the background. Of course that sounds young…but we both have a late birthday in December. So I was almost fourteen. It had started out so innocent…just holding hands and hugs…which grew as we did. The relationship as a whole was rough…but what relationship doesn't have ups and downs? It wasn't always easy and it wasn't always fair but we always stayed true to who we were and how we felt. It was magical…completely crazy insane…and that's why it was beautiful. We grew separately…and yet together. That's why every touch…every kiss…every word was stuck in my head.
I had switched to school on the res in grade school and had continued through high school so I could be with my friends. There were quite a few of us that had hung out. Myself, my twin brother Isaac, Leah, Jake, Quil, and Claire are all the same age, now sixteen, Isaac and I had our birthdays a few days ago on December 11th,. Everyone calls us the babies because we are the last to catch up to our friends and it happens so late in the year.
We are also friends with Embry, who is a year older than us and currently in grade eleven. Then there is Paul, Jared, and Rachel who are all two years older and in grade twelve. And then there is Sam, Laura, and my oldest brother Jaxon who are already graduated. Paul and Jared hang out with Jax though which is why the ages mesh together so well.
I could never forget my little one. My baby brother Tucker, who is thirteen right now and in grade eight. He's my little man. Twins have an unbreakable bond…and there is a special relationship between older brother/younger sister…but Tuck and I have a special relationship too. He's closer to me than our brothers.
I looked to the family portrait on the wall in my room and smiled. There was my dad, Jax, Isaac, Tuck, and myself, all smiling beautifully for the camera. It was a tradition to get these done every year and I had them all up on my wall. See, Isaac and I are the children of Renee and Charlie, Jaxon is the son of Charlie and a woman my dad used to date. She was a Quileute woman he went to school with before he met my mom. She had died giving birth to him. Tuck was the love child of a fling my dad had with a woman after he and my mom split. She didn't want the baby, but my dad did. She agreed to keep the pregnancy as long as she could give him full custody and he wouldn't ask her for anything. Being the loving man my dad is…he agreed. A lot of people don't know that that's how it went down…but I do. And I love him more for it. That's also why Tuck and I are so close. He never had a mom…and I'm the maternal figure in his life. I sighed hearing Tuck and Isaac fighting over the PS3 downstairs. I turned my head to my nightstand and saw the picture of us. The last thing I see before I close my eyes at night and the first thing I see when I open them in the morning. Him.
"Sorry sweetie, he isn't feeling very well today. I think it's just the flu though so I'll get him to call you later, alright?" I thanked Pam and hung up the phone. His mom was so sweet…I really liked her. She was very involved and loving, accepted me as part of the family from long ago. I sighed and went up to my room. I couldn't keep the smile from my face even if I didn't get to talk to him today. I'm totally love struck. It's only been a few weeks since we…you know. He had been so patient with me…I know I'm not his first…but he was mine. And he made it so special for me.
Our relationship hasn't always been so amazing…but there were a few key moments for me.
3 – when we confessed our feelings for each other.
2 – our first time.
1 – the first and only time he told me he loved me.
I know…it's odd to hear. Dating for almost one year and four months…you'd think the word love would have come around more than once. But not with him…you see…he doesn't come from the most loving household. It's just him, his mom, and his two sisters. His dad took off years ago. Truth be told…he's afraid. He doesn't want to end up like his parents…and so he hides in himself. That's why he comes off like such a dick most days but…I know the real him. He only brings out the true him for his family and I…and that's something I cherish more than any "I love you"...almost. I'll always hold the one he did give me close to my heart.
It's Saturday and I had spent the day with Isaac and Jax in Port Angeles window-shopping for gift ideas for our birthdays. We got home about an hour ago and Jax left to his friend Sam's place and Dad and Tuck were at a karate tournament. It's something they do together. I now sit in my room bored, thinking about today. The whole day I'd had many things on my mind.
Love…doubt…insecurities…perfection…and him. So I decided to whip out my guitar. No one was home except Isaac…and he's used to it. I began scribbling furiously in my songbook and didn't stop until the words were just perfect. As perfect as he is. I smiled to my finished product a few hours later and played it once through, happiness and love filling my heart.
"I'm walking fast through the traffic lights / Busy streets and busy lives / And all we know / Is touch and go / We are alone with our changing minds / We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time
And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same
You come around and the armor falls / Pierce the room like a cannon boom / Now all we know is don't let go / We are alone, just you and me / Up in your room and our slates are clean / Just twin fire signs / Four brown eyes*
So you were never a saint / And I've loved in shades of wrong / We learn to live with the pain / Mosaic broken hearts / But this love is brave and wild
And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same
This is a state of grace / This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good and right and real
And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same
And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same
This is a state of grace / This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game
/ Unless you play it good and right"
I sat here looking at that picture…remembering the song I had written only three short weeks ago. How could so much have changed since then…
"Hey Bells…how're ya feelin?" I looked to the door to see Jax and I shrugged.
"Fine I suppose." He sighed and sat at the foot of my bed, facing me.
"Fine?" He asked with a chuckle. I looked to him. "If this is fine I'd like to know what terrible is." I couldn't help the smirk on my face. I shook my head and hit him with a pillow.
"Don't make me smile when I'm sad!" I told him and he chuckled.
"Sorry." He told me with a smirk.
"So maybe I'm not 'fine'. Maybe…I'm terrible." He shrugged.
"You're entitled." He told me. I sighed again.
"I just…don't understand it. How can things go from being so great…to so horrible…in a matter of two weeks?" He sighed and came to sit beside me.
"Bells…I don't know what to tell you. All I can say is…wait it out. Things will get better…maybe he just needs a bit of space for now. What is a few weeks in relation to a year and…what is it now?"
"Four months." I supplied and he nodded.
"Exactly. Just be patient. Things will turn around." I let him hug me and I sighed into his warm skin. He always knew what to say and how to make me feel better. Not as good as Isaac…but Isaac was more real with me. He had told me this morning: "Shit happens and shit will always happen. You didn't need him before, you don't need him now, and if things smooth themselves out that's a bonus."
I had laughed of course…many people would have thought that was a horrid thing to say but really…it was the most thoughtful. He's right…I don't need him. I'm sitting here breathing right now…heart still beating – without him. But…I want him. He makes life better. He's a bonus I never wanted to give up.
Jax gave me a kiss on the temple and left the room, closing the door. I looked to my songbook on the bed in front of me and sighed, flipping to the very next page. How could two entries be any more different… any more heartbreaking?
Here I sat in my room, on the floor against the door, allowing the night to settle into my skin. I could feel the makeup smudged on my cheeks as the wet tears itched my face. I was all dressed up in a three-quarter sleeved beige, lace dress with an opaque underlay and sweetheart neckline. The sheer lace produced a bateau neckline and it scooped in the back. The dress had a pencil skirt with feathers on hem. It zipped up the back and went to my knee. We had decided to get dressed up for our sweet sixteen. Everyone came in formal wear and it was fun…I had been looking forward to it for more reasons than one.
This was the night…he had told me. It had felt like so long since I had seen him…heard from him. A few days ago he had gotten fed up I think. I had called his house once again because it had been two and a half weeks since I had called and his mom told me he was sick. I hadn't heard from him since the night before that. This time was similar to all the other times I had called…his mom answered and said he wasn't in or he wasn't feeling well…blah blah blah. But this time he came to the phone.
He had told me he needed space and that he couldn't explain. But he had told me, clarity in his deep, shaking voice.
"I'll be there, Red. I won't miss your birthday. I promise."
Except now I sit here on my bedroom floor, crying into my hands, my eyeliner and red lipstick smearing as I wiped my face. He never showed. After everyone had left he had called…it was brief and gruff.
"I'm sorry I didn't make it." I had inhaled so deep…closed my eyes.
"Yeah…I'm sorry too." And with that, he hung up without another word.
I hated it. I hated feeling this way. I looked to the song I had written in the last two days…it spoke to my confusion…and yet…my understanding. I grabbed my guitar and strummed it softly…digging for some kind of answer in my action.
"You should've been there, / Should've burst through the door, / With that 'baby I'm right here' smile, / And it would've felt like, / A million little shining stars had just aligned, / And I would've been so happy.
Christmas lights glisten, / I've got my eye on the door, / Just waiting for you to walk in, / But the time is ticking, / People ask me how I've been / As I comb back through my memory, / How you said you'd be here, / You said you'd be here.
And it was like slow motion, / Standing there in my party dress, / In red lipstick, / With no one to impress, / And they're all laughing, / As I'm looking around the room, / But there's one thing missing, / And that was the moment I knew.
And the hours pass by, / Now I just wanna be alone, / But your close friends always seem to know / When there's something really wrong, / So they follow me down the hall, / And there in the bathroom, / I try not to fall apart, / And the sinking feeling starts, / As I say hopelessly, / "He said he'd be here."
And it was like slow motion, / Standing there in my party dress, / In red lipstick, / With no one to impress, / And they're all laughing, / And asking me about you, / But there was one thing missing, / And that was the moment I knew.
What do you say / When tears are streaming down your face / In front of everyone you know? / And what do you do when the one / Who means the most to you / Is the one who didn't show?
You should've been here. / And I would've been so happy.
And it was like slow motion, / Standing there in my party dress, / In red lipstick, / With no one to impress, / And they're all standing around me singing / "Happy birthday to you", / But there was one thing missing, / And that was the moment I knew.
Ooh, I knew. / Ooh,
You called me later, / And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it," / And I said, "I'm sorry too," / And that was the moment I knew."
Sitting here in my room I had a huge choice to make and no one else knew it. He had always encouraged me and told me I'd make it one day…told me I wasn't going to be somebody…that I am somebody. I always felt important with him. I always felt needed and necessary. Every choice, every action…I always knew he was up for the ride. But now…I had no idea what the future held.
I had gotten a call yesterday. A lovely woman named Deb was on the phone and told me that a scout had listened to a CD I had sent out a while back and a record label wanted to meet with me. They offered to fly me out tomorrow to Nashville.
So here I am, my dream at my fingertips…and I'm not jumping for joy. Why? Because of him. How can I just leave without consulting him? Without figuring out where we stand? But how could I not go? I think he'd be happy for me…but who's to say anymore? I'm not even sure we are still together. He wont answer my texts or calls…he's never online… it's like he vanished.
I can't let myself give this up. I need to confirm my flights and tell my family. I'd been waiting to tell them because…well…I'm confused enough as it is without more opinions and suggestions. I put my guitar on my bed and headed downstairs. I went straight to the phone. One last try.
Like always it rang and rang. His mom didn't answer anymore. After 18-20 rings I hung up and walked into the living room.
"Still no answer?" My dad asked from his spot in his recliner. I shook my head and leaned on the back of the couch where Isaac and Tuck were sitting playing their PS3. Jax sat on the floor. He gave me a reassuring smile and I sighed, getting their attention.
"Guys I…I uh…have something to tell you." Isaac paused the game and they all turned to face me, confusion showing on their faces. My dad looked terrified.
"Bella I swear to God. If you say you're pregnant I'm going over there and kicking his ass." I was momentarily shocked before laughing genuinely for the first time in a few weeks. I shook my head.
"Dad, no!" The guys chuckled too but they did look oddly relieved. I sighed and got back on track.
"Yesterday…I got a phone call. It was…a scout. In Nashville. A label wants to meet with me in two days. I'll be flying out tomorrow." They all looked at me in shock until Isaac broke the silence by jumping over the couch and spinning me around.
"Holy fucking fuck!" He yelled and I laughed. He took my face in his hands and smiled.
"I knew you'd get there, B." I looked to the rest of my family who greeted me with hugs and congratulations. They were all very happy for me.
"How long will you be gone, Bella?" My dad asked.
"Well right now they just want to meet up. But if it goes well…I'll be moving there for a bit. He nodded and gave me another hug.
"What are you going to do about Paul?" Jax asked me. My heart ached at his name. My Paul. The guy I love with all my heart…
"What else can I do?" I told him as a tear rolled down my cheek. I've done all I can…I need to go to Nashville.
There you have it guys! Chapter 1! Just to note, I did change the lyrics to the song State of Grace by Taylor Swift the line reads *"Just twin fire signs / Four blue eyes"* and I changed it to "Just twin fire signs / Four brown eyes*"
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was just introductory to get the story moving.
Read and Review!
Songs: State of Grace – Taylor Swift
The Moment I Knew – Taylor Swift