Earth Customs


Said scientist looked up from her work to see her boyfriend standing over her. The look on his face was one of great concentration, the very same look he got whenever he was confused about certain Earth customs, such as slang or seemingly pointless holidays like national "talk like a pirate" day.

She tried to suppress her initial reaction to his intensity, which was to smile, realizing how seriously he took these small things. He was just so adorable when he was bewildered.

"What's up?" She managed to ask.

By now, he knew that "what's up" really meant something more like "what's going on" instead of literally "what is up in the air/above your head."

Without wavering, he replied with the confidence and determination of a King. "I want to learn how to drive."

"Um..." Jane pushed away slightly from her work, trying to make sense of her boyfriend's sudden desire to learn how to operate a motor vehicle. For some reason, the idea of Thor behind the wheel didn't seem all that safe.

"...What, may I ask, makes you want to know how to drive?"

Thor straightened up. "Is it strange for me to want to? I just thought it would be good for us, so that if you are incapable or unavailable, or if the need arises-" he paused for a moment, interrupting his own train of thought. He began again. "To be honest, Jane, I feel generally useless to you. You have to work while I sit around and 'surf the web.' I don't have many skills that are appropriate for life on Earth, I expect I need training in-"

At that, Jane got up from her desk. "Thor, you don't have to worry about any of that-"

"And why not?"

"Duh, because you're the house wife." Darcy said, walking in with coffees, having apparently heard some of their conversation from down the hall of the lab.

Thor looked to Darcy. "I have yet to come across this term. Although, I do know what 'wife' means." He looked back to Jane again. "Are we getting married?"

Before Jane could give any sort of answer, Darcy spoke up again.

"House wives cook and clean and take care of the kids, no real training needed. I'm sure Jane is happy being the alpha in the relationship, calling the shots, bringing the bread home-"

Thor's confusion only escalated. "Are we having children now? And what of this bread you speak of?"

"Darcy, could you please give us a moment." Jane said, an obvious edge to her voice.

Darcy held up her hands in surrender and turned to leave the room. "Sorry, miss god of thunder."

Jane turned Thor's attention to her by taking his arms, effectively preventing him from asking another question about their relationship status. "Listen to me. You are a member of a team of super heroes who protect Earth from intergalactic chaos. You're the heir to the Asgardian throne and I don't want you thinking you have anymore obligations. You do more then enough."

"But Jane, isn't it a custom on Earth for us to work together on an everyday basis? On an equal level? I have no regular work, I'm still trying to figure out how to operate my cellular phone, I really have no idea how your politics work on this planet-"

"If it makes you feel better, no one knows how that works." Jane interrupted, thinking that he was doing an awful lot of rambling today. "Look, you've only been living here for a month, give yourself some credit. I promise I'll teach you how to drive soon, I'll teach you all you need to know in time, trust me."

Thor finally looked like he was relaxed. "I trust you above all else, my love." He took one of her hands in his and raised in to his lips to kiss her knuckles, as he did every so often. "I suppose I am getting a bit ahead of myself, I just wish to be worthy of you."

Jane laughed. "Believe me, I feel the same. I'm not royal, or a celebrated war hero."

"And I am not a great scholar, a genius at that." Thor countered, still holding her hands.

"Looks like neither of us are winning this." Jane said with a slightly devious look in her eye.

Thor mirrored her look, bringing her hand to his lips again, beginning to kiss down her arm. "I did not know...that we were competing...against each other."

Jane smiled wider. He had picked up on sarcasm lately. She found it rather endearing. "Early lunch?"

He'd made his way to her shoulder and now spoke into her ear. "You drive."


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