I rest against the coach and hug a pillow as I watched the tele. Jim was running late yet again so I had let myself in. He had given me a key to his flat ( since I do live with him most days) and I remember the words he had told me, "I'm giving you this key, Felicity, and by doing so I'm trusting you with my life. I need to trust you." I had insisted I would guard the key like it was his heart.
My heart beats faster as I remember the little smile he had given as he had looked down at the floor.
The news is on and I watch curiously as the reporter greets a tall skinny man with a black coat and funny hat. Beside him a short man in a jacket looks on. The reporter asks the tall man some questions and the man whispers something to the short one. I jump as I hear keys in the door and quickly shut off the news. I know how it upsets Jim when I watch it and so I quickly slide onto my side and shut my eyes. His footsteps enter and there is a pause before I hear him quietly close and lock the door. His footsteps tiptoe over to the coach and I feel his lips gently peck my cheek. My lips spread into a smile and I open my eyes.
He is dressed in a fancy suit and tie like he always for work. He is crouched so he is eye level with me. His eyes are smiling, though his face is normal. I know how he is after work and how he feels about it but I ask, "How was work?" Like I always do.
"Business is business." He shrugged like he always does.
I sigh. He never tells me about his job, but I know it pays well. He always finds some way to avoid the topic of his work.
His eyes narrow. "What's the matter, darling?"
"Nothing." I try to smile convincingly.
He studies my face for a long while. Then he stands and walks over to the window. He looks out but I can tell he is deep in thought.
"Do you think I am a bad person, Felicity?" He asks, his voice weak.
I sit up in surprise.
"Of course not! You're the most kind person I've ever met!" I stare at him in confusion.
He looks at the ground and I can tell he isn't smiling this time. I get up and walk over to him. He doesn't look up.
"What's wrong Jim?" I ask, gazing at him.
He hesitates and looks into my eyes. I can see a look of sadness in their depths. He blinks and looks away. "Never mind it's not important." He mutters.
I open my mouth to say something else but he looks up quickly.
"I'll make dinner, sweetie." He rushes off to the kitchen and leaves me standing by the window.
Later that night I lie in bed thinking. Beside me Jim is asleep and I listen to him breathing. He sighs and rolls over so his face is just inches from mine. I turn my head and look at his peaceful face. Whatever had been troubling him earlier seemed gone from his mind. He always seems like an angel when he sleeps and all the troubles I could see in his face during the day seemed wiped clean. His sweet, warm breath warms my face and the start of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. Then he stirs and blinks his eyes open. His shining brown eyes lock with mine and he leans in.
My cheeks grow hot as his soft lips brush against mine. Our lips lock together and he cups my face with his hand. He gently nips at my lower lip and then quickly soothes it with his tongue. then, His lips glide across mine and he pulls away. "I love you, Felicity. No matter what happens, I always will." I feel my cheeks grow red aNdebele I whisper, "I love you too."
Jim woke early the next morning. He had business to attend to and he needed time to prepare. He paused before sliding out of bed to gaze at Felicity's face for a last time. He knew that she wouldn't want him anymore for what he was going to do today, and he felt a sadness creep over him. Felicity was the first girl to ever make him fall in love and he hated himself for how he was going to make her feel in a period of one week. Confusion, shock, hate, fear. All things he didn't want to make her go through. Sure he had considered his options. But this was the only one he could cope with.
He slid out of bed and scribbled a note. I won't be able to come back to our flat tonight. I'm so sorry for this, I really am. I want you to know that I love you. Goodbye, Felicity. -JM He slipped it under Felicity's pillow, sure she would find it when she woke.
Then he slipped on his clothes and slicked back his hair. he pulled his baseball cap on and grabbed his ear buds and mobile. With one last glance at Felicity he slipped out the door and out to the street. His thoughts were consumed with her. Perhaps if he was just ordinary like all the boring people surrounding him, he might have married her. That wouldnt be possible now. Jim felt his eyes begin to water. He shook his head and reminded himself angrily, "The plan has to happen today. This is what you've been waiting for. Time to get Sherlock."