So this is my first fanfic, not to sure. Please comment what you think any constructive criticism is welcome. This is just something I think could've went down on the train in Catching fire on the way to district 5. It is mature and if you don't like that sort of thing don't read it. So basically I'm saying if you don't want to see Katniss and Peeta do the dirty, why are you still here?
"Are you sure you don't want more Katniss?" Effie asked for the fourth time.
I could tell at this point Katniss was getting annoyed, it was getting increasingly harder to hold in the laughter by the second.
"I'm not hungry." Her tone was clipped and left no room for discussion.
My smile fell and was quickly replaced by a frown, this had been happening for a while and I was worried. At first I assumed her lack of food was from disgust at what had happened in District 11; now I wasn't so sure. We were currently on our way to District 5 now and her food amounts weren't increasing. Actually they seemed to be decreasing.
I was sure mine and Katniss' friendship was growing, but lately she seemed distant. Probably thinking of Gale, my mind proclaimed bitterly. Apparently this seemed to show on my face as Effie was asking if the food was sour.
"Do you want another dish?"
I thought of the children in District twelve starving and how People from the Capitol saw fit to chop and change if the slightest thing was wrong. Disgusting.
Katniss was obviously thinking something along the same lines, as she pulled her chair out and stood. She looked confused, why was she confused?
In a distressed voice she blurted out, "I-I'm going to my room, not feeling too good."
With that half hearted excuse she was gone. That was it I needed answers. Now. As much as I hated to admit it I was worried about her, I shouldn't be. She caused me so much pain, why should I care?
She was only trying to keep you alive, the small voice reminded me. Before Effie could start going on about manners and such, I stood up in a fashion not unlike Katniss'.
"I should follow her, don't wait,"
Not even waiting for a response my feet carried me out of the dining room and down the corridor. Soon, I heard small noises coming from Katniss' room. It sounded like she was crying...
I slowed down and called her name quietly, "Katniss, are you okay?" Silly question, we're victors for goodness sake, we would never be okay.
The noises stop and just as I was about to check if the door was locked, I heard shuffling. Katniss' head poked through a crack in the door, it broke my heart slightly to see her swollen eyes.
"Hey Peeta, did you want something?"
Her tone wasn't rude or snappy like the normal Katniss, it was just weak. I would prefer the Katniss who would tell me to go away, at least it would mean she's okay.
I went to put a hand on her arm then thought better of it and settled with the question, "What's the matter?"
She sighed, probably expecting the question, "It's noth-"
I gave her a look that clearly told her she wasn't fooling anyone. Opening the door wider, she beckoned me inside. I noticed she was wearing a nightgown that was slightly opaque with her hair down, making it hard to focus. She sat on the bed so I followed her lead. I didn't say anything, I just sat and waited for her to gather her thoughts.
After a minute or so she looked ready to start, "I'm just so confused Peeta, I don't understand any of this."
My confusion must have shown on my face because she shook her head and started again, "My feelings for you,"
My mouth went dry and my heart rate sped up. Was she playing with me or did she actually mean it?
"What feelings Katniss?" I asked her, "No lies just be honest, please?"
The desperation in my voice was obviously detectable because she moved closer and looked me dead in the eye.
"In the games I wasn't sure of my feelings, all I wanted to do was survive, but I knew that I didn't want you to die."
She took a deep breath and this time I decided to place my hand on her arm, she looked surprised at the contact at first, but carried on.
"In the cave things changed. I began to care for more than a district partner. There was one kiss that was real and after the games we were- still are connected. I hurt you,"
I want to tell her it's not true, but really I would be lying. I gesture for her to carry on.
"You deserve someone better than me. I don't love you, hell I don't know if I'm even capable of love right now,but I care for you more than I would anyone else."
Inside I'm jumping for joy, I know it isn't a declaration of love, but this is a big step for us. She turns away from me and I know that's it, I won't get anything else from her. I was lucky to get that small bit of vulnerability from her. The thing is she's wrong, she's the one who deserves someone better. I mean she's brave, caring, loyal and not to mention beautiful, but somehow I know she wouldn't believe it if I told her.
"What about Gale?" The question even shocked me, what the hell was I thinking? She surprises me by actually answering.
"Gale is like a brother to me, don't you think if I had romantic feelings towards him I would have acted on them?" She does have a point, but still I can't help it, I'm a jealous, overprotective man.
"It's just you're always together and the things people say..."
I don't finish because all of a sudden she seems a lot closer and my breathing stops. She still doesn't realise the effect she has on people.
"Right now it's just you and me, Peeta, you and me." She places her hand on my chest for emphasis.
Quickly, before I change my mind I take her face in my hands, "I want to kiss you, can I?" Her head moves closer and it's all the answer I need. I crash my lips to hers with a ferocity I didn't know existed within me. Our lips move in perfect harmony sending shock waves through my body.
Katniss lets out a small moan and suddenly my fingers are in her hair and I'm licking her bottom lip asking for entrance. Her fist in my shirt, from shock no doubt, and her mouth parts in surprise. The kiss slows as I tentatively poke my tongue into her mouth, exploring.
This is new for us, but she responds and the gentle caresses soon turn into a heated dance. At this point we're gasping for air so we stop, but it's like I am a man possessed as I slowly trail wet kisses around her neck, sometimes nibbling. Her small whimpers of pleasure only egging me on.
I nibble on a spot just above her collarbone; her hands fist into my hair and she lets out a long, low moan. I may not have never done this before, but I have two older brothers who like to go into long, detailed explanations and I have enough sense to know what to do.
So, I alternate between nibbling and sucking gently on that one spot, Her moans driving me crazy. Her slender hands made their way to the hem of my shirt, I stopped her before she did something she regretted.
"Katniss you don't have to do anything you don't want, okay?" I tell her, even though it would be hard to stop I would do it for her. Her stormy grey eyes meet mine and I know whatever she says I will agree with in an instant.
"I want to Peeta, no I need to." Her eyes are filled with determination, it looks like the normal Katniss -the Katniss who doesn't back down- is back and I have the sudden urge to grin.
"Are you laughing at me?" She sounds offended, she narrows her eyes at me.
"No, No, it's just that, well, I mean," Apparently I have a way with words, but around Katniss I turn into a rambling mess. By now she's full on laughing; it's one of the most beautiful sounds and I have the urge to kiss her again.
So I do.
It's slow and passionate, but certainly stops the laughing. When her hands make their way to the hem of my shirt I don't stop them, just take my lips away from hers for a brief moment so she can discard my shirt. As soon as it is off my lips reattach themselves back to hers with heated vigour. I can tell she's getting impatient because she is trying to tug off her nightgown, I help her slowly ,brushing my hand against every piece of skin I can find, along the way.
For the second time tonight I can't breath. The sight before me -
Katniss almost naked, illuminated by the dim light, with swollen lips,- is almost enough to make me lose it. Her neck flushes red and she tries to cover her breasts which are beginning to pebble in the cold air. They're not exactly huge, but to me they're perfect and I couldn't be more thankful.
I gently remove her hands and whisper into her ear, "You're perfect, don't ever hide from me." I remove any objections with a small but effective kiss and carry on with the trail of hot, wet kisses down her neck.
I tenderly place my mouth over her now erect nipple and swirl my tongue round it . Gasping, she grabbed my shoulders, silently urging me on. I speed up slightly, nipping and sucking while my right hand works on the other breast.
After a couple of minutes I decide to move on, slowly I make my way down until I reach her navel. I flick my tongue in, her hands tighten on my shoulders. I'm sure there will be marks tomorrow. I continue my journey until I reach her cotton panties and place a small kiss right above her centre. The small whimpers turn into a sexy moan, I take off her panties and throw them somewhere.
I can hear her panting above me, anticipated my next move. I start off by kissing the inside of her thighs touching everywhere but the place that she wants. She's squirming and groaning, I know that she wants this. Tenderly I kiss her lips, her musky scent sending blood straight to my groin.
Before I can hesitate, I open her lips and lick my way up her pink folds. She's shuddering above me and making noises I've only ever dreamed of. I continue with that for a short then unexpectedly spiral my tongue over her the delicate clit. I can feel her pulsating above me, I entrap her clit into my mouth, alternating between sucking and licking. Soon I feel her trembling, she grabs my hair and tightens her legs around my head, moans turn into small screams of pleasure,
"Peeta!" I keep going until she moves my head away. Her face is flushed. She takes a long shuddering breath then moves her hand towards my belt, quickly unbuckling it. She gives me a lazy smile then pulls my pants -along with my boxers- down slowly, biting her lip. I kick them off somewhere, then sit down next her. Tentatively she reached her hand out and stokes my member.
I put my hand around hers, then say, "A little tighter, like this," I slowly move her hand up and down until she gets the hang of it. My head falls back punctuated by a loud groan as I feel her flick her tongue around the head.
She looks up at me, hurt, "Don't you want me?" I give her a crooked smile and reply.
"No trust me I want you, I just want to be inside you when I finish." She blushes at the last bit. Biting her lip, she nods.
I slowly move over her, positioning myself at her entrance, I can feel her shiver as I bury my head into her neck and whisper, "Are you sure?" It would be hard to back away, but I could wait for her.
I would always wait for her.
I hold my breath, anticipating the answer, "I've never been surer about anything, I need you." I let out a long shaking breath and slowly slide myself into her slick tunnel.
I ask her if I'm hurting her, "No, it just feels weird really." She grits her teeth as I go through the last barrier, one single tear falls down her radiant face.
"Katniss, why are you crying? Did I hurt you? Should I stop?" I go to pull out, almost forgetting it would probably hurt her more.
"You're crying to," She points out with an amused glint in her eyes, I hadn't actually noticed the tears dampening my cheeks. Great, my first time and I cry like a baby, my brothers would have a field day if they found out. She carries on, "You didn't hurt me, its just hard to believe something so... beautiful could exist in this world."
I want to say that it obviously isn't the most beautiful thing in this world, after all she's here, isn't she? She doesn't exactly react well to compliments and I really don't want her scowling right now. So I agree and ask if she's ready to move yet.
She replies with a movement of her hips. The first few thrusts are clumsy and uncoordinated, but we soon get into a rhythm that works for both of us. She meets each of my thrusts with her own, panting and squirming. To me she couldn't look more stunning. Unexpectedly, she kisses me slowly, but with more passion than newly-wed lovers. I respond with just as much passion, pouring my heart out into this heated embrace. Saying the words I can't say out loud for fear that she would yet again push me away.
The saltiness from our tears stain the kiss and behind the passion, there was an distinct sadness that comes only from pain. We've experienced plenty in our short sixteen years of life. She breaks away moaning my name, I'm close and so is she.
My hand -seemingly with a mind of its own- reaches between where we are joined and circles her erect clit.
"Peeta! Oh God, so close! Peeta!"
Our movements are quick and jerky, "Let it go, let it all go." I whisper into the heated embrace. With those words she reaches her climax the same time as me. Limbs are tangled, grips tighten, two bodies unite as one. I can't tell whose screaming or if I am even coherent enough to form her name. "Open your eyes!" I manage to tell her in the heat if it all.
Her eyes are a mixture of lust, pleasure and wonder, for a moment we are truly together as lovers, sparks fly. Then it's over.
I almost collapse on Katniss, but quickly roll over, to avoid squishing her. A million questions run through my mind, what now? Will she push me away? Or will we be closer? Did this mean anything to her?
Of course it does, my mind chastises me. Of course I know Katniss wouldn't do something without meaning it, but still I feel so worried. I turn to her and my worries dissolve instantly as she gives such a genuinely heart warming smile that can't be faked. In fact she looks like she were the innocent five year old from so long ago, that knew nothing of pain. For once she looks free.
I pull the blanket over us creating a tent, when something dawns on me. "We didn't use protection!" Then she does something so out of place in this moment, I'm scared for her mental well being, she laughs.
After she's finished laughing she says what obviously made her laugh so much, "My prep team gave me a short for birth control or something because and I quote, 'It would be far to scandalous for something like that to happen to such young people'"
"So you're telling me that it's okay for twelve to eighteen year olds to be sent into a death match, but a couple of sixteen year olds having a bit of fun in the bedroom is forbidden?" By now we're both shaking with laughter, the irony of the situation not going unnoticed.
After our brief laughing fit, I pull her close. "We should get some sleep don't want to gave bags under our eyes do we? Imagine the horror!" I mock our prep teams eliciting a rare giggle out of her. She snuggles up to me resting her head on my chest seemingly ready for sleep. For a while I bask in my joy and when I'm sure she's asleep I whisper into the darkness, "I love you more than words can portray."
I swear I hear a mumble, but no more of it as I slip into a long awaited slumber.
I awake to look down at Katniss, clutching me tight as though she would lose me. I mentally scoff at the thought, there was no way I was going anywhere now.
"Katniss, wake up," She grumbles and snuggle closer, unconsciously scowling. A chuckle runs through me and I hope she won't kill me for what I am about to do. I carefully retract myself from her hold watching her pout and before she wakes up, I tickle along her ribcage.
She jumps up gasping and soon is laughing as tears stream down her face. "Peeta! S-stop!" I decide to take mercy on her and lay down next to her, only now realising how uncomfortable my fake leg was. Katniss frowns, noticing my change in mood and looks down to my leg. It's weird how she almost always knows about my source of discomfort.
Without a word she moves down the bed (still naked) and goes to unfasten the clasp. Quickly, I stop her, "Please Peeta, I don't like it when you're in pain, it's my fault it's like this anyway." I shake my head at her,
"Katniss, you saved my life, it was either dying or losing a leg. Don't blame yourself I'm fine." She looks unconvinced.
"Humour me, let me help." I sigh knowing she won't back down. I look away ashamed, while she unclasps my fake leg. Though I soon turn back as I feel her massage the stump. A sigh of relief falls through my lips. When she finishes she places a small kiss on it, then places the leg back and clasps it again.
After getting dressed we head to breakfast, holding hands. I couldn't be happier than I am right now. This time when we get food she places a healthy amount on her plate and sends me a secretive grin.
She may not love me now, but I wasn't going to give up now. I would do whatever it takes to make her mine. Besides we had the rest of our lives -however long that may be- to figure this out, that should be enough time for anyone.
Little did I know how wrong I was.