special thanks the most wonderful beta in the world, Aisha, i love you woman!
Of course i own nothing, and you know who does, Stephenie is one lucky duck.
In this story Del Cisne is Spanish for Swan, translations will be added as the story continues. hope you all enjoy!


Spring 2005, ASU Tempe, AZ

Today is a great day!

I just finished my last test for finals of my college career at the grand ol' age of 19. (I was a smart kid and graduated high school really early;)) I'm taking a year abroad in Cancun Mexico in a few weeks to teach elementary students English while staying with my most amazing great grandmother- who I call Nanita- while there. I'm also spending my summer with my most amazing boyfriend Tyler, who will be joining me in Cancun till early fall. Today is a fantastic day!

Even though I graduated high school within a year, I really wanted to enjoy my college years thus dragging it out the entire four years, when I could've been done in a year and half. It's been a good for years though, along with enjoying it with best friend, I also go to enjoy with my amazing boyfriend. We met after I had turned 16, in the library of all places, and have been together ever since. I live on the fifth floor of Manzanita Hall with my best friend Angela Weber. Seeing as how Angela and I met in high school and graduated together, it seems only fitting we would also be graduating college together. Given that I'm younger than both Angela and Tyler (only by a few years), they've never treated me as an outsider or a kid.

As a result of my upbringing and age I never felt comfortable going to parties, drinking, or engaging in se activities. My dad and Nanita think it's because I'm a good catholic girl. Maybe I am although I haven't attended mass in six years, since my mother passed. I think it's more that I want to be absolutely sure that I give it up to the man I end up marrying. I mean come on I'm only 19.

Granted most my age have done it way before the age of 19, but I'm not most people. Tyler seems to be okay with waiting till I feel ready; he's always been respectful towards my waiting. I'm hoping that by the end of the summer I will be ready, because I know I want Tyler to be my husband.

Walking back from the Thai restaurant near my dorm, where I devoured some very yummy peanut curry with pork in celebration of my success, I head back to my room needing to burn the extra calories. Making my way up the steps to the 5th floor I notice the hall is eerily quiet for this time of day, but not unusual. It's just after noon and most students are still taking their finals. Walking on the fifth corridor I hear some music coming from one of the dorms. Some loud, annoying hip hop crap. I could never understand why some people want to hear about woman "backing that ass up." To me it's just downright degrading. I might be a little bit of prude, but seriously who thinks this is good? Walking to my door I realize the music is coming from my room.

Huh, I didn't know Angela like this crap, isn't she supposed to be in class, taking her final? Hmm, maybe she left the radio on.

Unlocking the door, I begin to hear something unusual. It's something like grunting, or moaning… I have no clue. Opening the door I am completely un-prepared for what my eyes are seeing.

On MY BED is Angela on all fours being fucked like a bitch in heat. My eyes move to the man doing the fucking, it's none other than my boyfriend of 3 years pounding himself into her.

Before I realize what I'm doing I drop my back pack on the floor and begin to yell.


Both of them stop and look up to me, both caught and mortified, neither one them can really speak.


"Bella, I thought you had class." Tyler says.

He did not just say that me.

"SERIOUSLY!" I yell, with tears in my eyes and very little will left. I walk over to my bed and slap Tyler. Looking over to Angela who trying to cover herself up with my blanket no less, is trying to avoid eye contact, I'm unable to contain myself and spit on her, not even noticing where it landed on her and call her a whore. Barely able to feel anything I walk away from them toward the door; next to the door is a small side table with photos of the three of us together along with one of me and Tyler together. I grab them both and smash them to the floor. I run out of the room, my vision blurred from the tears streaming from eyes and make my way out of the building into the hot Tempe air.

The temperature seems to have risen in the past 15 minutes; this isn't that unusual considering that it's Arizona. But with the ache in my soul and teary eyes, I feel as though I've stepped through the Gates of Hell. My vision still blurred I begin to walk without knowing where I'm going. I have no idea how long I've walked or how far I've gone but, somehow, I find myself in front of a church. I think back to six years ago when I was last in church saying farewell to my mother, who was killed by a drunk driver on her way home.

As I walk in I think back to how devastated I was then, how alone I felt that I had lost such a wonderful person. I keep thinking to how similar this feels to six years ago. How empty and alone I felt, how a part of me had died. I think back to the hate I felt toward the middle aged man who had one too many drinks and decided to get behind the wheel and later took my mother's life. The same hate has once again engulfed me and I know that I'm not strong enough to fight it this time. I can't stand the way the hate, my hate, is taking over and I suddenly can't stand to be in my own skin.

I make my way to the front of the church and find myself in front La Virgen de Guadalupe. Without realizing it I drop down to my knees in front of her sobbing and I do something I haven't done in 6 years.

I, Isabelladel Cisne, begin to pray.

Early summer 2009, Chicago, IL

It's official.

In one week I will be a married man!

What a great feeling it is to know that, in just seven days, the woman I love will be bound to me forever. It had been a long road for me to get here. Just a few years ago I was a monster. Working as a soldier in my father's organization I barely remember being awake. Drugs run pretty freely in this world and they were constantly in my system spurring an inevitable demise. Being a solider you have to do a hell of a lot for very little. So you had to indulge in the perks.

Those perks being the adrenaline. The adrenaline to get high, to rob, to put people in their place. But the best part was the kill.

I love the kill.

I lived for the kill.

No matter how high I was I always remembered the kill. I reveled in it. I made my first kill when I was 15. For my birthdaymy grandfather took me to my first strip club just outside of Chicago. I was receiving my 3rd lap dance of the night, loving the feel of my cock grinding up against this fine honey in front of me. Then some drunken bastard claiming to be her boyfriend strolls in demanding she stop dancing and suck his cock. Before I knew it were both on the ground and fists were everywhere. I end up beating the guy to death. My grandfather and father clean up the scene and I'm introduced into the glamorous life of a mobster.

Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but I still had to pull my own weight and was still in school. Either way, I got the job done though, but I'll never forget that first kill. Even though I was a soldier in the organization, my father insisted I finish school along with my older brother, Emmett.

Emmett decided to forego college after high school and stick with my dad while working on getting his button. My father though encouraged me to go to college. Seeing as how I have a trigger happy finger, he felt it would be best to learn how to get around the law. I agreed and attended Northwestern University. It was there I discovered what kind of a monster I was. A year into law school I was out on a job, needing to shake down some two-bit hustler who owed my father tribute. I remember I felt awkward knowing was a low man, but at the same time I was working on becoming a lawyer.

It was like I was living in two different worlds, but I was still high as fuck in both of them. I made my way to this guy's apartment; I don't even remember his name. Making my way up to his place, he ends up being prepared for me and tries to shoot me. Defending myself I kill him and the broad he was with. As I was cleaning up the bodies to be foundby the authorities I hear a baby crying in the next room. Panic floods my system, something I've never felt while taking a life. I walk in and see a baby, no more than a few months old crying for his mom. It was then I realized what I have taken. I've taken everything away for this innocent little baby. He'll never know who his parents were. The kid barely knows what the world is and I've left him alone to face it. No kid should have to go through that.

I flash back to my first kill and for the first time I realize what taking life finally means. I've killed someone's son, father, brother, friend. I took it and I didn't care. The remorse and pain I felt, it was unreal and indescribable, but I knew it was something I didn't ever want to feel again. With the help of my father and our recently retired family attorney, Jason Jenks, we get the place cleaned up and get the kid into a good family. Ironically my family. The baby was given to my brother and his then fiancée, Rosalie, who adores kids and refused to give the baby to the state. The baby's name is Brady and I was grateful the kid had another chance at life. (A chance that should have never been taken in the first place.) I vowed I would never feel that again, I would never again take another life, possibly taking and ruining and the lives of the people around them. I refused to be that monster ever again. Thus my life as a solider ended.

My father seemed to be fine with it, and my mother was more than pleased. For a long time she had asked, "What happened to my son?" I couldn't tell you, but that man is now gone. It was then that I focused on school and ended up graduating a year early. It's now been 3 years since I've passed the Bar and have become the family lawyer. I personally thought it was too soon to give my father and his organization legal advice professionally. However, with Jenks retiring, we didn't have much of a choice. Wasn't bad though, other than minor crimes everyone managed to stay out of trouble.

Now just 3 weeks shy of my 26th birthday, I'm marrying Kate. We got together a few months after my last job as a low man. We met at a career fair after I finished law school. She was looking into a career as a paralegal. Two years later she agreed to be my wife and life couldn't be better. Since the wedding was so close and we would be on our honey moon till my birthday, we started moving her stuff to my place now so we wouldn't have to deal with it later.

It was late and I was heading home from a family visit. It was Brady's 4th birthday. Kate left early wanting to finish packing. I was halfway to my place when I realized she left her cell phone with me. She lived about five miles from my place so it wasn't too far out of my way. She lives in a two apartment duplex and the apartment next to her is currently vacant. So I thought it was weird when there was another car in the lot. Having my own key I let myself in to her apartment and notice candles lit everywhere. I'm thinking Kate planned this to lure me here for an evening alone. Making my way to the bedroom I hear slow jazz playing in the background.

Smirking, I open the door ready to love my future wife, when I see someone else already is. There's another woman on top of my fiancé. Fury enflames my veins and all I see is red. Before I realize it I grab the little bitch by the hair, pull her off Kate and snap her neck. Falling to the floor Kate is astounded as to what I've done, screaming in terror. I'm hysterical and livid and all I want is to feel her limp body underneath me. And that's what I do. I climb on top of Kate- she's naked and frightened. Gazing into her terrified eyes I wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze.

Gasping for breath I squeeze harder and harder until I see the life leave her eyes her body goes limp. Long after her soul is gone; my hands are still squeezing her throat, waiting for a reaction that will never come. I feel something warm and slick slide down my face and realize I'm crying. I fall off Kate and onto the floor crying into my hands realizing what I've done. I killed the woman I love. The woman I was destined to be with was gone, because I refused to see reason. I don't even know the other woman's name, never even seen her before.

I feel numb- I feel nothing. I'm back to where I was nearly 11 years ago on my 15th birthday. For the first time since bringing Brady into my family I crave the kill.

I, Edward Cullen, am a killer.