Hello everyone! I had a burst of inspiration after watching Killer Tuna Jump and this is what the Muse spit out. It's just a little one-shot. I hope you like it.

Killer Tuna Dream
By OneHorseShay
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. For God's sake, don't sue.
Rating: T Adult Themes
Pairing: Jade/Freddie (Jedi)
Summery: Freddie has a very odd dream involving Sam jumping over a tank full of 'killer tuna' and of course he shares it with the one person he trusts and loves the most: Jade West. Very heavy spoilers to Killer Tuna Jump. Takes place after 'We Love Each Other' but before 'Who are My Brothers?'


West Residence
Los Angeles, CA
Sunday, January 20, 2013

Jade quietly sat at the kitchen island sipping her morning coffee, enjoying the quiet Sunday morning. Her fall tour had been over for a few weeks and her first week of college so far had not been as overwhelming as she thought. It did help that her fiancé had a quarter under his belt to navigate the college life and was quite brilliant in helping her with stuff she didn't understand—not that she was some slouch in the brains department.

Her peaceful start was interrupted when she saw Freddie lazily walk down the stairs. His hair was up all which ways and there were dark circles under his eyes, clearly having tossed and turned all night. He yawned in an almost comically exaggerated manner and had a seat across from her at the island. He scratched the side of his head and couldn't even focus on her.

She slightly frowned and commented with evident concern filling her voice, "You look horrible. What happened to you last night?"

He lifted his head and met his fiancée with near bloodshot eyes. "I had the weirdest dream last night and it was a little disturbing—okay, really weird and disturbing."

She was about to make a joke about how some of her writing was weird and disturbing, but the look on his face told him that she should save the jokes. She sat her coffee on the table and slid it across to him, having a sinking feeling that he needed it more than he did.

"Thanks," he quickly uttered then picked up the mug took a sip. It was strong of course since it was black and only had two sugars and it helped to wake him up.

"So you want to talk about it?"

He cracked a soft smile, one that told Jade that underneath it all everything was alright with him. "I'd hate to share my possible emotional scarring with you."

She lulled her head to the side with a teasing smile and shrugged. "I think I can deal with anything you can throw at me."

"Okay if you're sure… it started with Sam wanting to jump over a giant pool of killer tuna to help out Dice make back some money he lost in a poker game… well he didn't actually lose anything, he just didn't make any money off of it…" Freddie shook his head and muttered, "Never mind on that part."

She raised her pierced, but ringless eyebrow and question with disbelief clearly in her voice, "Killer tuna?"

He cocked his head to the side and gave her a frustrated expression. "It's a dream, just go with what I'm saying."

She softly laughed and raised her hands in surrender, "Okay… on with your story."

He lifted his hands in front of him and rolled his fingers towards one another quickly. "Actually, I need to back up. It started with you and Cat needing to work on a project together for Sikowitz."

"For Sikowitz?"

"Yeah, that's one of the weird things, we're all still in high school—actually we're all juniors. I'm still in Seattle, you and Cat are still at Hollywood Arts, but Sam is already roommates with Cat and Carly's in Italy."

"But if you're in Seattle…"

He nodded along with a slight tilt of his head to the right and answered with a regretful voice, "Then we're not together. We just met for the first time, but I'm getting ahead of myself. You and Cat were going to work on some project, but Cat didn't want you to meet Sam because she thought you two would kill each other."

Jade shrugged a shoulder. "Even after all this time I sometimes have to resist the urge not to try to kill her, so that actually makes some sense."

Freddie wasn't going to comment on that, knowing that unlike with Carly, there would always be a little bad blood between the girls, especially since Sam would on a regular basis find a reason for the pale skinned teenager to continue to stoke her annoyance with it usually involving how Jade didn't think Sam treated Cat right as a roommate. He had heard the words 'personal ATM' pass Jade's lips once or twice.

He didn't know at times that Jade had wished several times that she had interfered with Sam moving in with Cat and disregard listening to the now alternate future Cat's pleads not to interfere with them rooming together and being friends.

He lazily continued, "You hadn't met her yet either and when you did, you two instantly became BFFs and rode around together on her motorcycle."

Jade rolled her eyes and didn't bother to try to suppress a disgusted expression, "Now I'm disturbed and might be emotionally scarred. You know I don't even like Cat getting on that thing with her. I'm dreading the phone call that says they wrecked and Cat is a broken mess the road." She inadvertently shivered from the image formed in her head.

The tech-producer laughed, "I warned you."

She rolled her eyes and muttered, "Yeah you did, just… just continue."

"So you two started hanging out and Cat was really getting jealous. I'm not sure if she was mad that Sam had stolen you from her or you had stolen Sam. I got this feeling that Cat is into Sam as in really into her."

"Oh?"

Freddie nodded along. "Apparently… anyway, so Cat was talking with her Nona and she suggested to get back at Sam, that she should call up one of Sam's friends to 'steal' that person."

Jade squint her eyes. "Sam doesn't have any friends other than Carly and Spencer. Everyone just tolerates her for Cat's sake."

"She does apparently have me…"

She snorted out a laugh, "You?"

"Yeah… I—my dream-self came down when Cat called and said that Sam had been in some kind of accident…" He took a sip from the coffee and wiped his cheek with his hand. "When I answered the phone, I reacted like I wanted to impress Sam when Cat was calling from her phone…" He put on a sour expression. "I had said yes to Sam at some point in the dream world."

Jade didn't need him to clarify what he meant by saying 'yes' to Sam. The question and his answer to it became a pivoting point for both their lives, where one answer resulted in their current lives while the other they had both seen in some fashion with the assistance of an angel.

She put on a sour expression. "You mean like the one we visited?"

"I guess so, but one where I didn't have a talk with him and he didn't get with Tori afterwards." Freddie shook his head in sympathy. "Poor dumb bastard… lost out on being with you or Tori."

She surprised him by teasingly smiling to him. "Do you think that was your subconscious telling you that maybe you should have said yes?"

His eyes shot open and looked at her with a dumbfounded expression. If the coffee hadn't woken him up, it was her question was like an electrical shock to him.

She burst out laughing and teased, "You should see the look on your face. I wish I had my phone."

He sniffled and put on a melodramatic expression to the point of near tears, "I've been scarred enough with my dream; I really don't need you piling on."

She softly rolled her eyes and laughed at his overacting. She got up from her seat to walk around the island. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Sorry."

He turned his head to give her a half smirk then stole a quick kiss from her lips, bringing a soft laugh from both of them.

She pulled away and hopped on the island, letting her legs dangle off the edge of the counter. "So what happened next?"

"I showed up and Cat start's flirting with me, I mean really start flirting with me but… there was something wrong with Cat."

"What do you mean wrong?"

He sadly remarked, "She really was mentally ill. You had asked her if she had taken her 'special vitamin'…"

Jade was hit with a sudden wave of nausea and muttered, "I really don't like this dream."

"I'm not done."

"I wish you were."

He sympathetically remarked, "I can stop."

She leaned her head down to her left to look at him and slightly shook it. "No, I asked."

"I spent the day with her… her flirting with me constantly. We went to Bots for lunch and we ran into you—dream you and Sam eating lunch. I was happy to see Sam, but she threw a fit and shoved me back in my seat. She was pretty outraged that I had come to L.A. and didn't immediately go find her but hung out with Cat."

"As if you owed her anything… but how did I react to you?"

He cracked a charming smile and scooted over his seat to sit in front of Jade, her legs on either side of him while he remained on the stool and resting his hands on her hips. "Cat asked you what you thought about seeing me and you thought I was a 'hot little chunk of boy'."

She put on a wicked smile and teased, "Well at least I was making sense in your dream." She only had to dip her head down slightly to cup his cheek and place a quick kiss on his lips.

"And looking quite beautiful."

She gave him another kiss for the compliment. She sat back up and Freddie continued, "Well, Cat and I left Bots to go on tour about highways."

"Highways?"

"I don't understand that Cat… after we left, you suggested that Sam pull the same stunt—with Robbie."

Jade laughed, "Robbie? That would certainly get Cat's attention."

Freddie took a quick sip from the mug then snorted out with a bit of humor, "It did when we came back to the apartment and Robbie was singing 'I think You're Swell'."

"Cat must have flipped with him singing their song to Sam."

"She did and they started arguing. Sam claimed I was in love with her and the only boy she ever loved. She was laying on it real thick to try to make Cat feel guilty, but fortunately my dream-self was objecting to it."

"So you had a little sense?"

"I guess he did, but that was expected since he was…" He blinked as something dawned on him. "…he was with Carly in a long distance relationship since she was Italy with the Colonel."

Jade uttered in such a soft voice that for a moment he wasn't sure she had actually spoken, "So Fate won in your dream?"

He slightly frowned and remarked with a chilly tone, "I hadn't thought of it that way… I was with Carly."

"She could be screwing with us again, just messing with your head?"

"To what point? She gave up just before graduation of trying to break us up and get me back on track to be with Carly. Why would she give you an excuse to kill her? She may be a goddess, but you scare the chizz out of her."

The dark haired songstress hissed out, "I don't need an excuse to kill that bitch. After all the chizz she put us through and threatening Sapphire… Anna shouldn't have interfered with Dusty—the other Dusty—from killing her when he had the chance."

He reassuringly rubbed up and down her thighs and whispered, "It's okay. She can't do anything to us."

She cracked soft smile then slipped from the edge of the counter to straddle his lap and wrap her arms around his shoulders and behind his neck. Their respective noses were nearly touching and he could feel her warm breath on his nose and upper lip. "I know, but you look like a mess and that I consider her screwing with you—if she gave you that dream instead of you having some really bad indigestion from last night's dinner."

"I don't know… maybe I should avoid Trina's vegan kick?"

"As annoying as she can be, she can actually make some pretty good food if it doesn't involve a turkey… or a stove…"

The shared a quick laugh as he turned his left cheek to her and she took the opportunity to place her lips against his skin.

She asked with a somewhat cheerful tone, "So what happened next?"

"Cat stormed off saying she didn't care what happened to Sam in jumping the tuna then Sam walked off, leaving me and Robbie alone then you showed up asking whether you missed anything. I'm not sure what happened after that, but the next thing I remember is that I meet up with you at the jump with Robbie tagging along with me…"

He frowned and his facial expression became sour.

"What?"

"Robbie was like a puppy following me around for the whole. I think Robbie was… attracted to me. He even came up with a word to describe our one-sided friendship: 'Frobbie'."

She looked away and rolled her eyes. "'Frobbie'? If I didn't see the scarring at this point, I just did."

Freddie chuckled as he continued, "I shooed him away and asked you to help me."

"What did I say?"

"I'm not sure, it gets blurry after that. I just remember we couldn't get tickets to actually sit with you and stood on the boom lift to watch Sam's jump, but she didn't jump. Cat had switch places with her and crashed."

"Was she alright?"

"Yeah, she was all geared up, but the dirt bike she was riding crashed into the lift and me and Robbie went tumbling over into the tank of fish."

"Into the 'killer tuna'?"

"Yes and they bit me a lot before Sam suddenly jumped in and pushed me out… everyone decided to leave Robbie in there. I'm not sure exactly how he got out."

"Were you alright? Your dream-self alright?"

"After I got out of the water and my shoulder was kind of sore and I had a few scratches on my face, but I was on my own two feet and speaking, but then the next moment my face was wrapped up in bandages, I had a cast on an arm and Robbie was in the next hospital bed torturing me with music… Cat and Sam left to talk about us behind our backs after saying that after I was up and about that we could have some dinner together… and Sam said she stole eighty bucks from me."

Jade rolled her eyes in disgust. "That sounds like Sam…" She met his eyes and asked, "So what happened next?"

"Nothing, I woke up with the overwhelming urge to strangle Robbie to death."

She leaned back slightly to rest partially against the edge of the kitchen island. She lazily remarked, "I know what happened next in your dream."

He slightly tightened his arms around the small of her back to pull her back to him. He raised an eyebrow "Oh? What happened next?"

She answered with a hushed, seductive tone, "I showed up and rescued you from the hospital to bring you home and give you some tender love and care."

"You mean like in the Stephen King book/movie?"

She softly shook her head then pulled her arms tighter behind his neck and brought her mouth just millimeters from his lips and answered, "Oh, you know my torture would be so, so sweet that you would beg for some more."

He smirked and answered, "You mean like I did with you in Vegas just before graduation?"

A hint of blush started forming on her cheeks at recalling the number of times he had brought her to ecstasy over the course of half an hour with his talented tongue. "Something like that… would you like me to give you a little preview? I can feel another part of you waking up."

She brought her thighs closer together around his hips and slightly pressed herself against him.

Now it was Freddie's turn to slightly blush when Jade's warmth against him seemed to spike. He quickly forgot the cup of coffee on the countertop as he was more than willing to let her try to forget that very odd dream. He turned in his seat and grabbing Jade's 'buttock', a word his dream-self having a problem saying in front of ladies, then stood up while she held him tight.

He walked towards the stairs as Jade whispered into his ear, "I've been having these weird dreams too. We're on this island for our wedding—"

"Our wedding is considered a 'weird dream'?"

She teasingly smiled against his ear, "It is when we are some messed up people that want to have sex more often than Easter with taking turns to practically have sex with all our friends—including a few threeways for us with Tori—and there's a serial killer killing off all our guests… "

He cocked an eyebrow then softly chuckled, "Are you writing this down for a screenplay?"

Jade wickedly smiled as he continued walking them up the stairs…


Author's Note: And that is the part where Illusorygentlemen, Fanfic-Reader-88 or maybe that SchneiderVerseAfterDark person on AO3 would take over to finish this fic.

For those not entirely familiar with this universe, a little clarification on some things: Dusty is a Canon-OC who is mentioned on TheSlap in being Cat's ex-boyfriend and Easter is Jade's bunny rabbit from TheSlap video where she admits she loves bunnies.

Thanks for reading.