TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES:

A RADICAL PORTRAIT OF DIMENSION X

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS

NOTE: Note: This takes place after "Turtles Forever" and is book seven of a ten-book series. The other books in the series include: "So Long, No Thanks For All The Fish", "My Seer, My Secretary", "Raphael Counts 'Em All", "The Lotus and The Sun", "Mutants and Miracles", "The Flies That Came To Dinner", and "The Dreggs of Society"

The events of the last three books are VITAL to understanding some of the developments that occur in this and future books in the series, so be sure to read it before continuing. Thank you.

-Zarius

Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are trademarked by Nickelodeon. Character from the 1987 TMNT animated series are trademarked by Fred Wolf. All original characters are mine


CHAPTER ONE

Tibbit checked the muzzle on his gun and sharpened his gaze as the automated Frisbee catapult sent another disc into the air. He raised his weapon and fired. The disc shattered into pieces and scattered it's remnants far and wide across the stretch of the lawn of his country house.

Tibbit took out a small handkerchief and rubbed his brow. The intense summer weather was bearable, but only just. It was his fault for dressing up in a brown overcoat with a knitted scarf. He blamed his allergies all too easily. The pollen from the blooming flowers caused all sorts of upheaval in his nasals.

He retired to the confines of his home, where his partner, Bronze, was curled up on the sofa reading an arts magazine.

"Dear god man, have you breathed in the air around this place? It smells of war" complained Tibbit as he removed his scarf and deposited it in the pile of laundry.

"Oh everything is about war with you, you're an old soldier Tibbit, reminded of the old stings in the wind rather than the delicacy of the gentle breeze"

"Don't wax a mind clogged with poetry to me Bronze, you know what we left behind all those years ago" Tibbit replied, placing the laundry into the washing machine before turning to a pile of unwashed dishes and submerging them in the soap-ridden sink.

"Yes, I know...but the point of that exodus was to have fun in our field. Neutrino elders of our type are a rare breed these days, all the other ones are obsessed with their motors and their nights out and their hot dates, they spend little time taking in the splendour of analysis and revel in the detail of debate. There's more fun to be had being a bit more grown-up than indulging in the burning desire to conquer and then re-conquer the ever decreasing days of youth"

"I suppose my mind reaches back all too much to the generations that come behind us...what legacy are they leaving behind? Will they yammer on incessantly about how fast their cars are? What kind of day they had egging on a soldier and braving a war zone? Dimension X has splendour, they just don't want to reach out and see it"

"Then why don't we set them a bit of a challenge?" Bronze suggested, "With Krang's forces presently overthrown in Dimension X, I don't see why we can't just transmit an open letter to the Neutrino council back home and ask them to submit some of our younger ilk to try and capture some of that said splendour in a painting, send it over to us, and we'll critique it"

"Dimension X may be a little safer, but there are still pockets of the old regime in places, Neutrino youth may be mischievous and hard to handle, but they're not soldiers" Tibbit spoke

"Then we'd best be specific over who we pick" Bronze replied, "...And already my mind is casting back to the legends that are still amongst the living...ones with the most experience against Krang and his kind"

"Oh no...you don't mean..." Tibbit said

"I'm afraid I do" Bronze replied

"Not THOSE Neutrinos" snapped Tibbit

"They would serve to benefit from a little culture" Bronze rationalized.

"They exist to shock and shatter all manner of culture they're introduced to" Tibbit complained, nibbling a little at one of his cleaner plates in a moment of brief anxiety

"Don't give yourself a plateful Tibbit, this is a sound idea with solid merit, all they need is a little more assurance, and if their stories back home are to be believed, there are creatures on this very planet that can help those Neutrinos out should they come across any forces still burdened with a genius for war"

"Name them" Tibbit said, "What creatures?"

"That's the thing, I think they're known as the Fully Realized Mexican Turtles...or is the Pork Pie Eating Karate Pigs...or is it..."

"We'll be here all day, tell you what, you retreat into your memory kingdom and I'll set about setting up the trans-dimensional com link so we can contact home and set about this quest" Tibbit replied, slowly beginning to let his excitement build "Finally, a chance to show those stuffy bloggers back home how a real mind articulates and appreciates the art set out in front of him"

Tibbit set off to begin assembling the hardware, all while Bronze continued to debate with himself over what the Neutrino's potential allies were called

"Kung-Fu Pandas...no, no that's definitely not it" he said, "Despicable Mimi Ninja Minions...no that's not it either..."