It was a lovely afternoon in Station Square, the streets moist with semen and Jesus's piss. Everybody was happy as fuck because it was the day Lauren Faust showed her tits on 4Chan, and when she did, Allah was enraged and sent down a divine terrorist to resurrect Osama Bin Laden so he could kill Lauren Faust.
The terrorist completed his quest and made sure Osama was ready to hijack an airplane by giving him a magical turban that allowed him to shoot box cutters out of his penis. Osama Bin Laden went on a long trip home to the land of Saudi Arabia. When he came home, a battalion of U.S. marines were loading up babies into the back of a dump truck.
Osama Bin Laden dropped his trousers and got a firm grip on his 4-foot saggy cock and directed it toward the grinning marines, currently too engaged in curb stomping unarmed civilians to notice Osama planning his cock-shocking attack.
But then, just as he was about to cum a devastating beam of box cutters, Uncle Sam, the legendary republican, came plummeting down from the heavens. He landed on Osama's head and crushed his head between his firm thighs. Uncle Sam was most pleased by the result of the attack and came buckets. He came so much that his trousers stuck to his legs and his semen ran out onto the sand, creating a lake. The lake rose until it engulfed the city and drowned everybody in patriotic semen. Isn't this making you so hard? I bet it is you fucking nigger kike.
Meanwhile, back in Station Square, everybody was panicking and the National Guard had declined their requests of evacuation, because there were too many fat, middle-aged neck-beards impossible to evacuate. There was a massive tidal wave of semen barrowing down from the coast about to total their fair city. Everybody gathered in the park for one last circle jerk to bukkake porn. Just as they finished coating each other in thick yellow sperm, the wave was finally in sight. Everybody started crying and making gay-ass moans of faggotry.
Just then, the wave stopped. It smashed up against the invisible field of faggotry around the city and everybody cheered and jerked it in happiness.
With a roar of laughter, Tails ate the space warthog's ruined skull. He turned to Sonic, body dripping with ichor and pus with fanatical homosex.
Sonic vomited several bucketfuls of infected flesh. "I am no Sonic."
A warthog's eye socket glowed with vibrant hellfire and Tails dodged, digging his whirring sword into the warthog's abdomen and dipping his tails in a tsunami of gore. Osama was torn to naught, his flesh distintigrating and melting and all other ways a body could decay.
"I am no Sonic."
His spines of tentacles and snakes writhed through the air and rendered oblivion in their wake. His skin turned jet-black, a niggardly color that betrayed his transformation.
I am... Sonique!"
The heavens roared and angels fell into weeping ecstasy before they cowered in terror at the might of his nigger member that now shone like the sun. Metalloid bloodswords ripped from his veins and struck down every heathen planet that dared glory forced the warthogs to begin their fornication of lust for all eternity, and they scream to this very day children.