(A/N Was writing a mystery Jori/Puckentine crossover when #YayDay came on and couldn't move past the decision of whether the ghosts would be real or not, so decided to shelve it and work on a yayday fic. Who would have thought they'd merge. Jade and Tori don't appear til the second half (meaning chapter two, they are not in chapter one. it's just this is only a two parter) but appear they shall. So just sit tight and I hope you enjoy.)
I knew Sam forgave me, but I was still going to make it up to her. And I already knew how. It wasn't easy, but the phone call had been made and it would be ready at two this afternoon.
I had wracked my brain. First thing I did was call herb when we got back to the apartment yesterday. But he'd already sewn the jacket together and stuffed it with garbage to make a stink pillow, since that's what he wanted anyway.
I personally thought maybe Herb needed some 'special vitamins.' But I guess when you're the Director of Programming for Nickelodeon they let you be as crazy as you want.
Last night before we went to bed Sam and I had a talk. I agreed that it was probably best that we keep up the game that we were only a 'real' couple on Sweetheart Sundays and that's why they were so special and the rest of the time we were just friends with benefits. So there was never a risk that we might be too lovey and blow the closet wide open.
Sam reminded me that it had been my idea and as far as she was concerned we could be totally out and if the babysitting jobs dried up she had other skills we could rely on. And I reminded her that we were both underage. We didn't need to tempt some rando homophobic judge to bust her for something small and decide we couldn't live together anymore.
But I also told her that I loved her so much and the sex was so good, we were still friends with fairy tales as far as I was concerned.
But I still had to make up for giving her a crusty pillow with stains, for snooping, and for not trusting and knowing her better than that.
I could pretend that it was because I was still a little squobbly from the frobbie frandangle. And it's true, I was. And I was pretty sure that I needed my dosages adjusted on my special vitamins. But just because it wasn't my fault, it was still my responsibility. And I still needed to make it up to Sam. The two o'clock delivery took care of the pillow. But there was still the snooping and the not trusting.
Also, honestly, a little bit extra. Because I knew about Sam's childhood, so doing a bad present was a uniquely hurtful thing. Just like flirting with Freddie had been a uniquely hurtful thing.
It was as if I was doing mean things specifically targeted to hurt Sam more than they'd hurt the average person.
I'd love to fly up to Seattle and cunt punt her mom, that'd be something uniquely targeted for Sam. But I knew that no matter what a gank bijon that woman was, Sam bore her no ill will now that she was away from her.
Then I had an idea. It wasn't perfect, but except for my Sammy-lamb, and our love, there was no such thing as perfect. It was a good idea. And it would work.
Her breakfast is ready so I took it in to wake her up.
I laid the bed desk over her sleeping form then went and stood at the foot of her bed, announcing in my british serving boy voice, (it carried better than my serving girl voice and I wanted to be sure to wake her) "Is her Majesty Princess Samothrace of Puckell ready to break her fast?"
"What?!" Sam shouted half asleep. "Smorgens?" She continued.
"Oh no your majesty, I'm afraid the smorgens weren't ripe yet so I've prepared seven meats and a waffle."
She snapped awake. "Seven meats? Don't tell me you found turtle bacon,"
"Alas no, Princess Samothrace. The seventh meat is…" I presented the plate. "A turkey leg. It's so obvious, I truly can't believe we didn't think of it before."
"Exactly what breakfast was missing. And my name is not Samothrace." Sam said.
"Her majesty was named after an island off the North Eastern coast of Greece and we both know it." I said. "Now will her majesty be requiring anything else or may I retire to bed."
"Coming back to bed is exactly what I require." Sam said in her own passable English accent.
"Happy Sweetheart Sunday, my love." I said, kissing her neck.
"Happy Sweetheart Sunday, Kitten." Sam said. Leaning over and kissing me with syrupy lips.
"Although I'm afraid this Sweetheart Sunday might be cut a little short." I said.
"And why's that?" Sam asked.
"Well, because I have some yesterday to make up for. So Sweetheart Sunday til 5. Your replacement present comes this afternoon, but that won't change anything. But after five I have some surprise plans."
"What sort of surprise plans."
"Asking me a ton of questions is a form of snooping, Sammy-lamb. And we are now a snoop free home." I said.
"Okay, kid. Just be sure you remember that next time it's time for you to have a surprise." Sam said.
"I know. One day at a time. I'm a sick snooping sicko, but I do feel really horrible and I hope I've learned my lesson. You know it's more important to me to be 100% truthful with you, so I can't say I did when we won't know for sure." I said.
She put her arm around me. "I know." and kept eating with her other arm.
I snuggled against her, stroking her back as she ate.
When she was finished I put the bed desk on the floor and snuggle in next to her. "You are one sexy sack o' Momma. You know that right?" I asked.
"I had my suspicions. What with all the sexing you are always trying to make happen." Sam said.
"Was that a complaint? Cause I can just go off and lick myself. I am a Cat you know." I replied.
"Not at all. I'm always hungry for Kitten. Especially right this minute." She kissed me. "Hungry for Kitten kisses." And she kissed down my neck. "Mmmm and Kitten neck, definitely hungry for some Kitten neck." Then she kissed down to my breasts. "And I am positively starved for Kitten cupcakes." She was busy with kissing, licking, and sucking on my breasts and nipples as I gasped and moaned and fondle-groped her so the game was stalled there for a moment. Which was fine. In fact, I was totally, joyously, in favor of it.
Eventually she kept kissing down. "And Kitten belly, you know Momma loves her some fine Kitten belly on a fine Sweetheart Sunday morning."
"Oooh, yes, I did know that about you, Momma." I laughed. I loved it when she kissed my belly but it did always tickle, that little bit.
Maybe it was natural. Maybe it's because I knew where she was going.
And down she went. "But it's Kitten's kitten that I can't get enough of. Her soft slick slit that I could lick all day and wish for another day to lick it."
"Oh Sam you're so horny and licky. But we all know that every part of me you would lick all day and just want-" And I was unable to finish because Miss Trickster decided that was the time to start licking with real intent.
I could feel her fingers spreading me open as her hot wet tongue entered me and opened me deeper as it went in. "Oh Sam," I said winding my fingers in her hair.
"Oh Kitten," She responded, as I'd hoped she would. I also liked the hunger in her voice. The need. I could hear how much licking me out turned her on. Which only turned me on more. And since she was really good at it and I was already turned on fit to bust, I started to cum a little. And when Sam heard my little 'Oooh, that's nice' noises turn into "Oooh, I'm coming' noises, she redoubled her efforts.
I think it was some, 'Well if she's coming, I'm gonna make her cum hard.' But I think a lot of it wasn't intentional. I think she was just so turned on by the idea of what we were doing. What she was making me feel.
Oh boy, did she ever make me feel. When that first wave hit it was like everything was clenching down and exploding out at the same time. Plus, of course, I could still feel her licking me and fingering me and her thumb rubbing my clit.
Which was almost too much, but then there was another explosion and suddenly it wasn't. Not because it was less but because everything was too much so it was just another overwhelming pleasure.
Another supernova explosion of light and heat.
I was moaning, almost screaming and I'd pulled a pillow over my face and held it there so I didn't have to worry about how loud I was being.
I felt her slide another finger inside. Her sucking mouth was now on my clit and her slip-slickery thumb of her other hand
that had been on clitty duty was sliding deliciously into my bottom.
I'd only just discarded the pillow to the side so I could watch her.
I had my knees in my hands to give her room to work her magic.
When I felt number three coming and this was going to be a real firestorm. "Fuck Sam, you are so good at this."
She smiled up at me from around my button. Moved down, pushed my legs back, and with a deep sweep of her tongue loudly sucked all the cum from inside me. Before moving back to what she was doing with a loud swallow.
It's amazing how things change so quickly. It wasn't that long ago a display like that would have struck me as crass and a little gross.
But now it was touching and romantic.
I mean Sam was a crass person. She was my sexy little neanderthal
but the fact that she wanted me inside her like that was awesome and touching and lovely.
Obviously she had been eating my cum since day one, the unusual part that would have had me squinting and wondering in the past
was scooping it all in a big load to eat at once in one gooey mouthful. This wasn't Lesbian Bukkake 7.
And she was about to get heaps more.
As it began to build my body went into panic cause it was so intense and my arms moved down to push her away.
At the moment I was swinging wide because my arms could flail around as much as they liked but my brain was still in charge and she liked this roller coaster.
Not to mention even if it did get intense enough I did properly try to push her away for real, Sam was under orders not to let me
and only to stop if I tried to push her away at the same time saying, "No I'm serious, stop."
Which means that something is going on that means this all needs to grind to a screeching halt.
Or if I safeworded. And if I safeworded when we weren't playing those games then that means I don't want the sex to stop but I need it to get super gentle as if I'd safeworded during hardplay. Or I have some other crazy idea and just follow my lead.
But I wasn't pushing her away yet. Though I knew if this was how hard three was starting at, I would almost definitely be really pushing by the end of three and gibbering nonsense sounds loudly while pushing through four and five.
So I had that to look forward to.
Well maybe just four. Because I really wanted to get some Sammy pretty dang soon. Or some pretty Sammy dang soon.
The fucker didn't even crest.
It was like a c- punch. I felt it coming and I was ready.
Ready for that wave.
But it wasn't like that. It was, 'you're gonna cum-whoops you cummin' bitch ha ha.'
And I was moaning almost squealing near the end as I tried to take another breath.
One hand pushing at Sam's head, one hand flopping uselessly beside me trying to grab my scream pillow.
Course Sambo was having none of it.
She was having fun with my insanity. She calmly took my hand off her head and pushed it to the side holding it there.
So now her fingers were fingering, her thumb of the fingering hand was on clit duty. Her bum thumbing hand was holding my wrist in an iron grip and her tongue was tickling my back door.
I got my pillow just in time.
Because all that holding back almost made me lose momentum. But once I felt safe to just let it out. To scream and swear and moan like a lost ghost. Something in me released and number five hit me before four was even out of the way and they had a little pileup in my puckell patch.
Giving Farmer Sam, who was obviously trying to make something grow in my furrow, all she could feast on.
Then it happened. She decided to try the G-spot trick I'd been teaching her.
She'd done it before, and it had blown my mind but on top of the pileup, all that juicy had to go somewhere.
And I guess it was under quite a bit of pressure.
Boy am I glad I had given Sam the full science G-spot lecture, even though she was not as interested in listening as I was in learning it.
Because she was back to kissing and licking my kitten by then. And if you're with someone who squirts for the first time and you don't know what to expect it is exactly like them peeing in your mouth.
It's clear liquid coming out of the same hole at the same pressure.
It's not yellow but not all pee is yellow.
It's a little sticky and sweet but you don't think about that when it's spraying in your mouth and on your face.
And of course with Sam's sense of humor, even though she obviously was into it and tried to catch and drink what she could, as soon as I was done she was like. "Kitten, we haven't even talked about pee games. And I wished you'd asked or at least done it in the shower. That was hot though, you got any more in there?"
And of course I never know when she's kidding. "Sam, I didn't pee. You made me cum so hard I squirted."
"Yeah, squirted pee. Maybe we do need to put baby Kitten in a diaper. Yes, that's probably best. Can't have kitten babies wazzing all over the ding danged place. Now you wait here like a good kitten baby, and Momma will get you a fresh diapie and the baby powder."
And she walked off.
Out of the room.
She had to be playing right?
But we weren't even playing Momma and kitten. And we certainly weren't playing Momma and baby kitten. I was pretty sure I made it clear I didn't have a whole lot of interest in ever playing that.
What if she came back with a diaper. I was pretty sure I'd let her put it on me. Almost as sure as I was that I really didn't want her to.
Then why would I let her? Because I belonged to her? Well she had made a pretty big deal about the fact that she belonged to me too.
Because she was Momma? I said I wanted to wear my pretty collar all the time, and maybe in a perfect world I could. But we decided that was impractical.
And since I wasn't wearing it and we weren't playing this game. I had to at least think about the possibility she was doing this specifically to make me rebel.
Just for fun.
She actually came back holding a diaper and the thing of baby powder.
But that was all.
"I don't know what game you're playing Samwise the hobbit. But since we both know if you brought my collar with you I would be your baby all day with the biggest goofiest smile on my face, if that was what you wanted. I'm guessing you want me to take that away from you and put it on you."
"You think you're strong enough kid?" Sam asked.
"Well there are over 300 skeletal muscles in the body and there are all different kinds of strong.
There is no question, you are definitely stronger in lifting and punching muscles. Any of the large muscle groups.
But I am not completely helpless. After years of massage I would say I know how to make the most of the strength I do have.
Not to mention there are also neurospinal pressure points, and accupressure points."
I reached out and grabbed her nipple. "Or just grabbing your nipple. Shall I twist?"
She dropped the baby supplies. "Fine, I was just joking." She grabbed me up as soon as I released her nipple. "Whoo! But I made you squirt! Kitten this is awesome. You're my little messy princess." All along she was swinging me around and kissing me.
She stopped and put me down. "Lets change my sheets then jump in the shower." She said.
"Yes change your sheets. Then your massage, then shower. Or better. Change your sheets. I get to have my way with you. Massage. I have my way with you again. Which morphs into having my way with you in the shower." I said.
"Now it is difficult to debate such a logical and clearly well reasoned argument." Sam said. "Though it does make me wonder. These plans for tonight, how much does having your way with me feature in tonight's plans?" She asked.
"It is not the primary goal of the night," I said, "But it wouldn't be unfair to say it will be featured in the evenings plans."
"That sounds like an awful lot of you having your way with me and very little me having my way with you." Sam said.
"Well, you just had your turn." I said.
"And you are talking about a plan for a minimum of three turns in the next 24 hours." Sam said.
"Sam, you knew I was a woman of powerful appetites when you decided to seduce me." I said, quite reasonably, I believe.
"When I decided to seduce you. If I remember correctly you met me in the bedroom on the night of the throbbing moon, with demands that you be allowed to 'lick it'."
"Look Samu, we can go around and around on this subject until we are blue in the pants. But the truth is if you weren't some sexual dynamo of the mysterious Northwest the likes of which my poor Southern California eyes and mind were not ready for. You're like a Sexquatch. They should have a Discovery channel show where pretend scientists hunt you." I said.
"Yes, If I wasn't a sexual dynamo of the pacific northwest, what would happen?" Sam asked.
"I'm sure I don't know. Because you are one." I responded.
We changed her sheets and threw the squirty ones in the dirty clothes. Then I pushed her back on top the bed and climbed on top of her.
"I have a lot planned to make it up to you, and I think showing you is better than telling you how sorry I am. I also don't know what to say. But I do need to say that it's on my mind and I don't know when I'm going to be able to forgive myself." I said.
"Cat, it's cool you've apologized. We're good."
"I know you've forgiven me silly." I said. "You forgave me the moment you knew the stink pillow wasn't your original present. In fact even though you were hurt, you'd forgiven me even when you thought it was. Because you love me.
And if the only present you got was the apology, that would have been okay. Because you aren't used to anyone being good to you.
But I'm not letting me off the hook that easily.
But it's just like I was saying to myself this morning. This isn't like leprechaun school where one crazy unicorn can change a whole year.
We've got the rest of our lives together. And however long it takes for me to feel like I made it up to you, we've got all that and more."
I scooted down. "Now let me get some of that yummy Momma cream. That's the sauce for me."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
"When I was trying to be polite about your nasty gross sauce you were making last week, I said, 'Well it isn't the sauce for me.' and as soon as I said it, I thought 'Now Sam's cum, that's the sauce for me.' So I've said it when licking you, or about to lick you like four times since then but you haven't gotten it." I said.
"Sorry. I got it this time, little lover."
"Naw, sexy Samburger with a side of sex." I kissed her there again. "I got it this time." I kissed down her inner thighs then back up.
Then as I kissed around the outside, I ran my fingernails up and down her inner thighs.
I kissed her open, spreading her with my mouth and tongue and tasting and smelling the bright, live, joyful flavor and scent of my sweet girl.
She was everything I could want and need and so delightfully delectable it really did feel like winning something every time I got to lick her.
To kiss and stroke and make love to her. She was so beautiful and perfect. Such a vibrant mix of animal and angelic.
I played my fingers through her wiry bronze pubes. A shade or two darker than the hair on her head with just a hint of copper.
She truly was so arousing as to drive me mad.
But I just kissed and licked and let my love, my need for her take over. As long as I didn't fight it, my obsession with my lover remained manageable. Even fun.
I pet her pretty kitty as I kissed up her pale taut tummy to her full breasts.
Meaning that was the goal. I didn't go straight there. I kissed and licked her tummy and ribs a fair amount on my meandering trek to Tit Town.
I've said it before but it bears repeating. There was no inch of her beautiful body that it wasn't a joy to explore again and again.
To honor and examine with my mouth and lips. With my eyes and nose and tongue.
Sometimes I needed that scent, that taste so badly, I had to bury my face in her lap like a dog for a few minutes just to get enough control to branch out to the rest of her.
But every inch of her was sexy, tasty, beautiful. Treasured to me.
I moved up to her collarbones, the top of her chest, her neck.
"Permission to kiss the princess," I said.
"When did I become a princess again?" Sam asked. "You were just snarfeling my snackbox, didn't ask permission to do that."
"That's because that is the sort of thing princesses have us peasants in their bed for. Snackbox snarfeling. But kissing requires special permission. Now are you going to play right or do I take my mouth and go home?"
"Sweet Kitten, right here, in my arms, is your home."
Well what can a girl say to that? I'll tell you one thing, that stopped the princess game and started the kissing right away.
Which is fine, because the princess game had stopped at breakfast and I'd just started it again anyway.
Very good kisser, Sam. I mean obviously someone who is as in touch with their body as she is would be.
But I mean she is a very, like crazy good, kisser. Admittedly that opinion could be colored by my being in love with her.
My two favorite things: having her tongue in my mouth and having my tongue in her…
That's another thing. I've decided that I have given in too easily to Sam's fondness for the dirty talk. So I'm cutting down. Not stopping, just scaling back. It seemed to me since a few weeks ago I'd kinda jumped in with both feet and I have sort of retreated one foot and three toes.
Anyway as I was saying either set of lips, kissing her was my favorite thing in the world. I just wish I could spend half my day on each and have that be my life. Okay, one quarter on each, one quarter to sleep, and one quarter for meals and kissing the rest of her beautiful body. There was a perfect life.
But there was something special about these full body hugs, lying naked in bed kissing her. That gave kissing her mouth a little extra vote.
Of course her honeypot had the extra vote of it was a vagina, and that is always worth extra points in any civilised contest.
I loved the way her pussy fur felt against the shaved skin of my own.
Just like I loved that she had bigger lips that I could kiss and tug and suck on.
I loved that we were so different.
And hers was so beautiful. Mine was basically just a bare sexhole.
No hair, very much my choice. But also no external labia, small little tictac clit. Which were just the way I was made.
Absolutely had some hotness to it. But an artist couldn't sketch it.
It was beautiful because of how it made me feel and because of it's utilitarian minimalist style usefulness.
But give me Sam's baroque artistic beauty every time. She had a treasure box a goddess would have. A place of feminine power and mystery that hypnotizes and draws me in.
Kissing her and touching her with my hands. Her breasts, her soft smooth skin, her fuzzy, wiry, sexy wetness.
But mostly, for now, her kisses.
It was so easy for me to get lost in them. So easy for me to get caught up in loving her. In how very much she meant to me.
Just to be so focused on her mouth and tongue and how I loved the way her breath smelled.
Yes especially after she'd been eating me, but most of the time.
And that's another thing, people have no romance in them.
People are always looking for the joke.
People are always looking to be gross or rude.
It gets so even when I'm talking to you, a trusted friend, I question what I can and can't or should and shouldn't say.
I don't know if I should say I loved the way her breath smelled or god forbid i loved the way her butt smelled.
Because you're going to be sitting there tittering thinking your little gross morning breath and bodily function thoughts.
When obviously she isn't going to be coming to lovemaking not feeling fresh. So fuck you.
I do I love the way her breath smells 90% of the time. I want her to breathe on me, right in my face. I think it's sexy and it turns me on. And the other ten percent I can take or leave it. Sam is not a gross person, even her morning breath isn't really anything bad.
And I really love the way her butt smells and I really really love to stick my tongue up there. Cause she's a clean sexy girl with good hygiene. Just because someone doesn't wash their hair every day doesn't mean they don't wash their ass, you weirdo. A lot of people think it's bad to wash your hair every day.
Matter of fact all this talking about it. I'm going down there right now.
Or I would be if thinking about her bottom didn't make me think of those plump pink lips right next door. Waiting so poutily, patiently, sexily.
It's distracting. More distracting than I can handle.
I just have to kiss those slick beautiful lips.
And once I was kissing them, I had to suck and lick them. Then I had to stroke them with my fingertips and grasp them tugging gently,
making Sam moan and move. I spread them flat against her skin, they stayed because they were a little sticky with moisture.
Then I sucked them back into my mouth.
I released them and licked up to Sam's fat little mushroom clit sucking on it. Feeling it firm up and stand out on it's tiny shaft.
Licking down to spread her open with my tongue, then further open with my fingers, get up in there licking her,
lapping up the sweet driplets of Sam nectar beginning to gather.
Stroking her clit with the thumb of my left hand as the fingers of my right hand slid inside and began to try to bring her off. Licking and fingering her as she started to moan and grabbed my hair, pushing my face into her.
I made little enjoyment noises of my own. I couldn't help it. She tasted so good and I loved it when she held my hair and pushed me in deeper.
I kissed her and licked, sucking and slurping her yumminess as my fingers moved inside her, coaxing her closer and closer to the edge.
I moved up to her clit again. Sucking and licking while my fingers worked their magic inside her.
She moaned, grabbing my wrist with one hand and my hair with the other and just pushing me with need. It made me feel so loved and needed. and even hornier.
As she came her muscles relaxed and her hands stopped pushing but did not release me.
My licking and kissing became less aggressive but didn't cease. there was cum to lick up, and I just loved kissing her.
Finally I moved up to lay next to her. "Hello slut." She greeted me.
"Hey there." I said, kissing her.
"You luuuvve me." She said in her teasey voice.
"I know." I replied.
Because of my squirting experience and the fact that today was all about crazy wild sex.
For no reason. I mean it was because I was making up for my Yayday stupidity yesterday, but how that made it about sex I don't know.
Plus the fact that I had afternoon plans for Sam and I that weren't sexy.
Either way I had a new G-spot massage that I decided to do rather than Sam's regular massage today. It hadn't been planned, in fact I just decided in the last few minutes but it was still decided as far as I was concerned.
I won't go into it because I think I've already described two and I know at least one and their pretty much the same. Ditto our exciting shower play.
Because what I really want to talk about is teaching Sam to make my famous meatballs.
"Now why are we doing this again?" Sam asked.
"A couple reasons. But a big one is so you'll know how to make them if you want some meatballs while I'm at school, or not at home.
Today, we're going to make a lot of meatballs. So you want to start with two pounds of ground beef and one of ground pork. Sometimes I'll put lamb in there but I don't have lamb today. Because today I am making them exactly how I made them for the throbbing moon. But you always want to use more than one meat. Some people just use one. But those people are fools."
"Yes, if we've learned anything from six meats and a waffle it's the more meats the better." Sam said. "Proven again today when it became seven meats and a waffle. That turkey leg was a gamechanger."
"Sometimes instead of ground pork I will fry a pound of bacon and crumble it up. It's important that you take the recipe as a jumping off point not an unbreakable law. Basically for three pounds of meat you want between a teaspoon and a half and two teaspoons of salt. More and it's too much. Less and it's bland and lifeless. But salt is where most people mess up. If you're good there and don't make it too spicy everything else can be fixed according to taste and personal preference. Like Nona does it with a cup of breadcrumbs. I use three quarters of a cup ground up cooked brown rice. You'll also want a teaspoon chili powder, a teaspoon of mustard powder. teaspoon each of oregano and basil. half teaspoon black pepper same of white pepper. Grate up two cloves of garlic and an entire medium onion. This is going to burn your eyes and your hands will stink for a week. The secret is after we make the balls we scrub our hands with salt and lemon juice and it takes the onion and garlic smell right away. Also works for fish. If we're ever fishing or making a bunch fish for dinner.
Now you put it all in a big bowl and mix it with your hands. This is the fun part. Just get on in there and squoosh it all together.
When it's all mixed, we want to start rolling balls. I don't want them all uniform either. I'm thinking from like ping pong ball size to like grape size.
What's interesting is this is the exact same recipe when I make homemade sausage except the spices are a little different." I said.
"You can make homemade sausage?" Sam asked.
"Sure can. It's not that hard." I said.
"And this is something you've done before?" Sam asked.
"A few times." I said.
"And yet you've never done it for me." Sam said in her best detective examining a witness voice. "Someone you claim to love."
"You know what they say. No one is gonna buy the pig if you're giving out the sausage for free."
"I have heard that." Sam said.
We arranged all the meatballs in the pot with the biggest ones on the bottom put on the sauce and put it on to cook, playing video games while we waited.
I was worried that the timing would be off but the meatballs were done and spread out to cool on baking sheets just as the door bell rang.
The deliveryman had a box that was about three feet on a side. I had him set it on the counter. we tipped him and he departed.
"What's this kid?"
"It's your Yayday present. Happy belated Yayday." I said
"That's gotta be the biggest stink pillow ever." Sam said.
"Sam please, too soon. Just open it."
Sam cut the tape and lifted the box off a stainless steel bush. Three feet tall by three feet wide with leaves made out of sliced cheeses and salami and little bare forks. "It's awesome but it's not finished."
"Of course it's not finished Sam, It's a meatball bush and we still need to add the meatballs to it.
I called the edible arrangement place and asked if they'd sell me one of their displays. Then I told them what we needed. So from now on when we have parties we can have a meatball bush like you wanted as a kid. I had them do the leaves this time but I knew you'd want my meatballs on it."
Sam hugged me and squeezed my boob. "I always want your meatballs kid."
Sam and I spent the next hour and a half decorating the meatball bush. Because she kept eating it down and we had to keep redoing it. But I think that took care of the present.
At five when the doorbell rang I said, "Oh yeah, the surprise. I figure the meatball bush makes up for the present. But I also need to make up for snooping so I need to show that I can trust that everything will be fine when things are out of my hands.
And I need to make up for not automatically assuming it must be a misunderstanding when I saw the mouthwash. So I need to show that I know you better than that.
I also need to show that I love you and I'm willing to do what you like, to make up for last week with Jade and Freddie and all that mess.
So that's Jade and Tori at the door. We're going to a scary old house that Jade knows and we're going to shoot a movie. A zombie movie. A zombie porno movie. Surprise!"