*So, here it is, my first foray into Criminal Minds fic. Set late season 3, but let's all pretend that JJ's not pregnant and New York never happened, okay? Okay. (also, I have no idea why I titled it the way I did or how the title relates to the story at all...)


She doesn't mean to tell JJ first. It just kind of happens. Just buying the test sends her into a panic that has her knocking on her friend's door at ten past midnight.

To her credit, JJ says nothing about the tears in Emily's eyes or the way her hands shake. She simply wraps an arm around her waist, steers her to the bathroom, and closes the door with a quiet click.

She appreciates the privacy, but she opens the door the second it can be deemed appropriate. JJ looks shocked, but only nods when Emily asks her to sit and wait with her. "I just can't do this alone," she admits.

When the test comes up positive, JJ sinks to the floor with her, holds her as she sobs. She doesn't ask who the father is, doesn't have to. She's the only one that Emily told about her one-night-stand with Hotch. The one that happened just days before Haley decided she wanted to give their relationship another try and Emily saw her dreams crumble to dust right before her eyes.

She's glad it's JJ that's with her now. Because she doesn't ask questions, just cuddles with her on the bathroom floor in true best friend fashion. It's not everything she needs. Not even close. But, for now, it's enough.

She doesn't know how Garcia finds out, but she knows when. Because out of nowhere there's a folder on her desktop that's chock full of information about parenting and pregnancy, with a specific focus on single parents in the FBI.

She tears up a little at the show of solidarity before closing the folder and transferring it to her personal laptop. And if Garcia notices the little additions to her knick-knack collection over the next few days, she doesn't say anything.

The fact that there's no vocal acknowledgment between the two of them, which means Emily can't be subjected to one of Garcia's infamous interrogations, doesn't hurt either.

It's just her luck that all four of the guys find out at once.

They're in Chattanooga in the middle of June, and it's 94 degrees at 10 am, so it's not really shocking when she passes out at the crime scene. Not to her anyway.

When she comes to, she's in the back of the ambulance that was conveniently at the scene. Derek and Hotch are hovering, and Reid is sitting by the back door spouting facts about heatstroke and dehydration. Rossi's the only one outside the vehicle, but the lines of his face are etched with more concern than Emily's ever seen him show.

Her protests that she's fine and that they don't have to coddle her are starting to work, she can tell. That is until a frantic JJ returns from her press briefing, pushes Hotch and Morgan out of the way, and starts interrogating Emily about why she's currently in the back of an ambulance.

They almost get through the conversation without tipping the guys off that something more is going on. Almost. JJ just has to bring up her OB's warnings about her blood sugar levels, and that sparks a barrage of questions from the guys about why JJ knows so much about her medical history, and is there something she's not telling them, and what's really going on, until it all gets to be too much and she just blurts it out to shut them up.

She looks up warily, scanning each face. Rossi gives her an encouraging smile. Reid looks stunned, but not totally against the idea. Morgan looks pissed and a little hurt, and her heart sinks because that was never her intention.

And Hotch? She can't get a read on Hotch. He just nods and tells her to go to the local precinct with JJ and work on victimology. She bristles at that, but doesn't argue. Logically, she knows it's not a punishment, but it sure as hell feels like one.

The rest of the team files out to start their assignments, but his hand stops her as she goes to follow. His gaze is intense, but he squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. "We'll talk later," he whispers. She nods, gives him an apologetic smile, and leaves before he can say more.

The rest of her day drags. With the AC broken, the precinct is as hot as outside, if not hotter. JJ watches her like a hawk; keeps her hydrated, makes sure she eats, forces her to take a nap. She's lucky it's JJ fussing over her. Anyone else on the team, perhaps with the exception of Reid, would be about one hundred times worse.

When the team reconvenes for a midday briefing, Reid slips her a couple pieces of paper that look like they were torn out of his journal. She glances at them and finds a lengthy list of healthy snacks that she could eat throughout the day to keep her blood sugar up. She's turning to thank him when a packet of trail mix lands in her lap, courtesy of Rossi.

Morgan still looks stormy when he enters with Hotch, and his mood only gets worse when he discovers that Garcia's known for almost a month. The look he shoots her makes her feel even worse, but she doesn't know how to make things right. She can't quite find the words to explain that she wasn't deliberately keeping him out of the loop. She'd just needed time to figure out how to explain the situation to everyone.

By the time they agree to call it a night, Emily's exhausted and fighting a pounding headache that won't go away. On their way out to the SUVs, Morgan stops her and pulls her into a bear hug. They both whisper apologies, hers for not telling him sooner, his for the way he reacted, and he promises to be there for her however he can.

She doesn't want to talk with Hotch when he stops by her room. Doesn't want to talk with him period, if she's being honest with herself.

"I'm not angry," he assures her. She smiles, shakes her head. She didn't think he was. "I just don't know what to do," he admits.

Emily shrugs. "Neither do I."

Eventually, they agree to keep things at status quo. No one aside from JJ and Haley need to know he's the father. He tells her that he'll be there for her and their baby whenever and however they need him. She tells him not to worry about it, that she can do it on her own just fine. He doesn't argue the point, but he doesn't look happy about it.

Before he walks out the door, he promises that he'll be in the delivery room with her. He pauses, looks like he wants to say more, but his phone rings, and she can hear him talking to Haley as he goes back to his room.

She curls up in bed, wraps her arms protectively around herself, and wishes she could believe him.