"Do you remember Victor's lust charm?" she asked me, snuggling closer.
I gave her a weird look answering. "Of course."
"I didn't realize it could get better," she told me after we slept together. She looked shy talking about it which was unusual for Rose. "I thought about it all the time … what happened between us."
I turned to her, tugging the covers up. The cabin was cold but the blankets and our bodies together created a nice warmth. Being pressed against her skin felt good, like finally being complete. "I did too."
"You did?" She asked, surprised. "I thought … I don't know. I thought you were too disciplined for that. I thought you'd try to forget it."
I laughed and kissed her exposed neck. "Rose, how could I forget being naked with someone as beautiful as you? I stayed awake so many nights, replaying every detail. I told myself over and over that it was wrong, but you're impossible to forget." My lips moved to her collarbone, my hand stroking her hip, her body was impossible to stay away now that I knew how it felt in my hands. "You're burned into my mind forever. There is nothing, nothing in this world that will ever change that."
Rose Hathaway always had a smart answer on her lips but suddenly she turned quiet in my arms while we just lay there with our bodies intertwined for minutes. The fire crackled in the fireplace and any words we said would've ruined the moment. The memory of her moans still echoed in my mind, the feel of her breasts in my hands and how she whispered my name in my ears so many times. But the physical sensation was not everything, for the first time in my life I felt like I was doing the right thing for me. For the last few months I spent so much time trying to hide my feelings for her and reminding myself that it was wrong to love her… She was seventeen, my student… And even worse, we would have to protect the princess before each other.
But after Mason's death I could see in her eyes all this sadness and fear mixing with the bond making the darkness in her soul get stronger… and taking her away from me. I couldn't let this happen, the world wouldn't be the same without Rose's witty lines, the way she laughed around Lissa and how she could make me go crazy with just one look.
Holding her body close to me I keep rewinding her words.
"Maybe it'll be depression like Lissa used to get. I'll keep falling and falling into that pit, and then I'll be like Anna and kill-"
No. Rose can do it. We can do it. We'll find a way to be happy. I can ask to be reassigned to another moroi and she will take care of Lissa after graduation, like she always wanted to. How can she not see how strong she is? The first time I saw her I knew that from the way she threw herself in front of her friend against all the guardians around. I have never in my life met someone like her, so ready to put a moroi life in front of her. No… Even more amazing, she would throw herself in front of any person she loved. And that's why I love her so much, she is the only one who understand that. Who understand me in this deep way that sometimes frightens me.
"What are you thinking?" she asked noticing my mind was wandering.
Gently stroking her face with my fingers I answered with a small grin. "Nothing. Just how much I'm lucky to have you in my life." Her cheeks turned pink for a few seconds and my smile got bigger thinking how could she still be so adorably shy after what we did.
"We both know that, tell me something new." She teased me with a little smile in the corner of her lips, going back to the Rose I was used to.
So many things went through my mind that I wanted to tell her, about how much she changed me and made my life so much better and more terrifying because I couldn't bear the idea of not having her in my life in anyway. I decided to make my answer simple since nothing else would be enough to make her understand. And said: "I love you, Roza."
She kissed me in a passionate and unexpected way.
"I love you too." She said and the whole world stopped for that second; nothing else existed except those intense dark eyes looking back at me.
N/A: A huge thank you to my beta Sam, the Lissa to my Rose who helped me with this fic :)