A/N: Highly recommended listening to "Say Something" by A Great Big World while reading.
BBRae Week, Day Two - ALONE
"So…what would you guys like to talk about?"
Silence filled the room while the pair awkwardly shifted on the beige colored couch. He shrugged with his arm slung over the back of the couch, scratching the back of his neck while she crossed her arms and looked out the window. Though they were sitting right next to each other, they still felt so distant, so alone, both of them wondering how they ended up here of all places? It all seemed so right in the beginning. So how the hell did it all go so wrong?
She lifted an eyebrow in response.
"Mrs. Logan, I need you to look at me."
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes before she shifted her gaze over to the person on the other side of the room.
"Is there anything you want to say?"
Raven blinked a few times before shaking her head and looking back out the window. "I'm fine."
He let out a loud chortle at her answer before cutting it short when she turned to look harshly at him. He looked away innocently
"Alright then…Mr. Logan?"
"Please call me, Gar," he mumbled while she rolled her eyes at the sound of his voice.
"Very well. Gar?"
"Is there anything you want to talk about?"
"Uh…" he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, awkwardly, "No…no, I'm uh, I'm okay."
"It doesn't seem like it. It seems like you have something to share."
"I don't," he said a little too quickly. He coughed to slow himself down, "I don't have anything to say."
"Then, what was that outburst?"
"Just a thought," he answered, trying to be casual, "A funny thought."
"Really? And what was that thought?"
He paused for a moment, thinking of his answer. "Well…"
Raven huffed as she stood up. "This is absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time," she murmured, standing up.
"Please sit down, Mrs. Logan."
"I refuse to sit here and indulge in this-
"We're not fine," he answered forcibly. She stopped her attempt to exit and glared at him but he kept his eyes forward.
"Please repeat that again, Gar."
"What I was laughing at. She said she was fine…she's not."
She hissed at him, "Garfield…"
"She hasn't been fine for a while now. We haven't been fine for a while."
"Garfield Mark Logan, if you don't-
"Why do you say that, Gar?"
"We don't communicate."
"I'm communicating right now and I'm telling you to stop talking-
He turned to her sharply and glared at her. "No, you're barking orders at me! That's all you ever do. "Gar, do this! Gar, do that! Gar, you're doing it wrong!"
"Well, maybe if you did it the way I told you-
"That's not the point, Raven!" he shouted, instantly shutting her up. Realizing he was losing his temper too soon, he turned back to the person on the other side and coughed. Raven slowly sat down beside him but a few inches further. She crossed her arms and legs before looking back out the window while he removed his arm from the spine of the couch, joining his hands in his lap. The room got a few degrees colder.
"We're…we don't…we're fine," he settled, nodding his head a little, "So…"
"In the beginning – the very beginning, we didn't get along so well. I annoyed the crap out of her and she used to push me away, tell me to leave her alone. But that was okay. That was our relationship at the time and it was normal."
"Then, things changed?"
He nodded, a small smile playing at his corners. "It took a while but they did."
"Tell me about it."
"Well," he sighed, thinking back to the yesteryears, "I had this crush on her – when we first met. But because of the status of our relationship, it sorta faded to the point where I thought I didn't like her like that anymore. And so I dated, took interest in other women and all that and she stood by me, even if she didn't agree with my choice of women. Which was quite often, now that I think about it…
"Anyway, one day some girl messed me up in a bad way and I wasn't dealing with it well. And she just came in, held my hand, and sat by me. She didn't tell me it was okay or any other words of comfort. She just sat there holding my hand and let me go through what I needed to go through."
"And what happened then?"
Gar thought for a moment, his eyes focused on the table in front of him. He knew she was watching him but he couldn't bring himself to turn his head to look at her at that exact moment.
"I…didn't feel like I was the only one anymore."
Looking up at the front of the room, his mouth formed a straight line as a stern look crossed his features. "It's like she might as well not be here."
"There's this huge space between us," Raven answered.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean…" she sighed, thinking carefully of her words, "There is just so much that we don't say to each other."
Gar huffed in response. "Well, whose fault is-
"Gar, it's Raven's time to speak without interruption. This is a free space, remember?"
Gar growled to himself, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back on the couch.
"Anyway, what don't you say to each other, Raven?"
She shrugged, her arms still over her chest, looking at the mahogany table in front of her. "Just things. Secrets. Thoughts."
"What kind of secrets?"
Shrugging again, she shakes her head. "Just little ones, I suppose."
"How little are we talking?"
"Little ones," she repeated, "What we're thinking. What we're feeling."
"And you never thought to share any of these things with Gar?"
"Well…" she furrowed her brows, "I did – I used to."
"But not anymore?"
She shook her head. "I suppose if we are to be truthful here…I have to say, no. Not as much anymore, no."
"And why is that?"
"It just…" she shrugged, "happened one day. One day we were talking and the next…"
"Something like that doesn't just happen overnight. What lead up to it?"
Raven shrugged again.
"I don't know," she answered plainly.
"You don't know or you don't want to talk about it?"
"I don't know," she repeated a little louder. She sighed loudly, "Both…"
"This is a free space, Mrs. Logan."
"I know that," she huffed.
"Then, say what you feel."
"I don't know!" she repeated, frustrated with the whole ordeal. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back. "It was just one day we woke up and it was like we were entirely different people."
"How do you mean?"
"We're different. Things changed, we changed. We grew up a little more and…"
"And…" Raven sighed, putting her hands in her lap. She pulled at her finger, looking down in her lap. "I used to look at him and he would look at me…and I would feel that everything was going to be okay."
"That's not the case now?"
Hesitantly, Raven's eyes drifted over to him to catch his eyes. When their eyes did met, their eyes lingered for a moment just testing each other out. Seeing if it was still there somewhere deep within themselves, still just trying to make everything between them work. Five seconds past and she knew the answer.
Sighing in defeated, she looked away and shifted further away from him and crossing her arms again, resisting the tears that threatened to come out.
"And that's supposed to be my fault?!" Raven shouted, incredulously.
"No, I know it's not your fault but-
"I've been this way since you've known me, Gar!"
"Then, why do you expect it to be different?!" she bit out, pacing the floor as he stood opposite of her.
"Because it was never this bad before!"
"Things change!" she spat.
"Change so much that you can't even talk to your husband?"
"Well, how can I talk to you when always run out halfway through the conversation?!"
He furrowed his brows, confusedly. "I don't always run out!"
"Yes, you do!" she accused, walking towards him with a pointed finger, "You always do! When the fight isn't going your way, you run away to some bar!"
"I do not!"
"Oh please!" she barked, "Don't think I can't smell the stinking smell of alcohol on your clothes or that smell of Scotch on your breath!"
"I don't go running off to the bar!"
"Bullshit!" she seethed. She growled at him, "You talk about how I don't talk to you or listen to you when you can hardly sit and talk to-
"I go to Vic's place!" he shouted back.
Raven blinked at him, furrowing her brows. He's been going to Vic's place? She shook her head. "No, you haven't…"
"Yes, I have," he argued, "You can call him up. He'll tell you that for the past few months, I go to his place to cool down so that I don't say something I might regret. And I have a few drinks with him and Dick to ease the pounding headache I get when I fight with you."
She stared at him for a moment before crossing her arms. "You…You're still running out."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are, Gar! You're leaving the house when I'm in the middle of talking to you ergo you're running out."
"…Right," he nodded his head slowly, rolling his tongue in his mouth, crossing his arms, "So that's why I've been talking to them about what I should do about us. Trying to find us the best marriage counselor, paying a fortune for a fucking four hour session because I don't want to talk to you, is that it?"
"If I didn't want to talk to you, why the hell would I am in this room yelling and shouting at you for four goddamn hours, Raven?!" he shouted, "Why the fuck-
"Then why did you ask for a divorce?" she replied back.
Now it was Gar's turn to stare at her blankly. "I…didn't-
"Yes, you did, Gar!" Raven threw out her arms out exasperatedly, "Don't pretend that-
"I didn't ask for a divorce. You just went fucking ahead and got one!"
"YOU SAID WE SHOULD LOOK AT OTHER OPTIONS, GAR!"
"I WAS TALKING ABOUT GOING TO FUCKING THERAPY!"
The room got quiet as their rung between them. They blinked for a few moments before Gar sighed and sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands.
"I wasn't expecting it to be court mandated but still…"
Raven brows furrowed, shaking her head and closing her eyes. She pinched the bridge of her nose, processing what was just said. "So let me get this straight…you didn't want a divorce?"
"No, Raven" he sighed, dropping his hands and looking at her with tired eyes, "I didn't want a divorce. But you want one…"
"Only because I thought you wanted one."
"Because you don't talk to me, Raven," he said sharply, "You keep everything inside and you think. You think and you think and you think and you never share it with me."
Raven blinked as she slowly sat down on the end of the couch. She put her hands in her lap and looked at him with apologetic eyes.
"That was good," the sound of a book shutting close came from the front of the room.
They blinked before they faced forward. Sitting back, they both made uncommitted gestures, their minds thinking of what just transpired. Both of them still unsure of their future together but maybe, possibly, feeling slightly less alone as they did when they walked in together.
"But I'm afraid our time is up for today."
A/N: Hey guys! So here's Day 2 submission for Tumblr's BBRae Week. This day dealt with being Alone so this is what I did! Hope you guys like and if you do, please tell me how much by reviewing! It's very much appreciated! Well that's all for now...peace!