A/N: Hey! This is my first Olicity story! Originally it was posted on Tumblr as a drabble, but I decided to post it here too because of the good response it got! Hopefully, those of you who haven't read it yet will like it too! Also, it is kind of AU, so if you don't like that, then I'm sorry.
Yet another thing I need to say is that this had the POSSIBILITY to become a multi-chapter "drabble" collection, but only if you like it! And I have a lot of school work going on currently, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update, so I'm not making any promises!
Share your thoughts! Reviews are always welcome! :)
Word count: 1484
She was going to tell him.
She was going to tell him, right now.
Felicity licked her lips subconsciously as she stood up from her desk, pushing her chair back slightly as she started toward his office. She stopped again and almost ran back to the security of her chair and turned to face the computer, biting her lip. Glancing over at him through the glass wall that separated their offices, she could see that he was deeply concentrated in his own work. Something inside of her was glad that he had failed to notice her and her indecisive movements. Her hand reached down in her recycling bin, and she picked up the paper she had crumbled just a few moments ago.
She tried to flatten it against the surface, but failed, because once paper is crumbled, it can never go back to the way it was.
That was how she felt at the moment; crumbled. Learning Oliver's secret and joining the now named "Team Arrow" had crumbled her, in a completely figurative way. Just like the paper, she couldn't go back to the way she was before she had joined the team, but at the moment, she wished she could do just that. It wasn't that she was blaming him for what stood on the paper, because that would just be...not right.
She pushed the glasses up on her nose and pulled back her hair behind her ear, before pulling it back up in the front. Her fingers were twitching and she knew that she had to tell him before the end of the day, because it wouldn't be fair if she continued to lead him and Diggle on. She had known for about two weeks now, and every time she tried to get around to telling them, she chickened out. Perhaps it was because she was afraid that if she told them, it would be official.
Once again, she stood up and headed over to Oliver's office. This time she reached the door before stopping, her hand on the handle. As she watched him signing some papers, her breath left her lungs. He was so deeply concentrated that he hadn't even lifted his head to see her standing there on the other side of the glass. She took a step back, releasing the handle as she inhaled sharply once more. She wasn't ready.
Turning on her heel, and starting to walk back to her desk, she stopped when she heard Oliver's voice behind her, "Felicity?"
Shutting her eyes tightly at the sudden pain in her stomach which appeared when she heard him say her name in that very special tone, she froze for a solid of three seconds before recovering and turning to face him.
"Are you going to come inside or are you going to walk back and forth all day?"
The question took her aback. So he had noticed.
"Yeah," she said again, walking back toward him. She slipped past him into his office. He closed the door and she heard the click as the lock was turned, which made her fingers tremble slightly. What was the point of having a glass wall between them, if anyone could walk into her part of the office and see them? She tried to cover up her trembling by clasping her fingers together in front of her as he walked toward his desk. He didn't sit down though, only leaned against the table, and deep inside, Felicity had a feeling that it might have to do with the fact that he wanted them to be on equal ground. If he sat in the chair, he would be Oliver Queen, her boss, but standing up, leaning slightly against the desk, made him Oliver, her… Well.
"What's on your mind?" he asked her, his tone soft. "You haven't really been yourself these past weeks." It was clear that he was trying not to sound worried, but she knew deep down that he was. Ever since she found out, she had tried to avoid speaking to both him and Diggle as much as possible. When she spoke, it was always about work and whenever they tried to get her to tell them how she was feeling, she shut them down with more computer speech.
The look in Oliver's eyes, however, told her that there was no shutting down this time.
"Where is Diggle?" she asked, the habit of changing the subject making its way through again.
"What's on your mind, Felicity?" he repeated, and this time, there was something about the way he said her name.
She bit her lip and turned around, not being able to look at him. "I wanted to tell you guys," she began. "It's just not easy to...get the words out. I want John to be here too."
"Whatever it is, I'm sure you can fill him in on it later," Oliver said from behind her. He was still by his desk from what she could hear.
"I'm not sure…" I can handle saying it twice, she finished in her mind.
"Felicity," Oliver breathed out, "are you all right?"
A lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow it down as she turned around to face him. "I'm not sure I can do this anymore, Oliver," she finally said, her voice trembling.
"What?" Oliver asked, looking genuinely surprised.
"I want to quit," she clarified, the lump in her throat still there.
"Quit you daily job or…?"
"Both," she said, her voice determined this time.
A lot of emotions flashed through his eyes as she finally met them, but she couldn't quite describe any of them because of the speed that they had disappeared. "Why?" was all he asked.
"I can't do it anymore," she said. "I'm sorry."
"Why?" he asked again, this time more sternly. She had known that her excuse wouldn't be good enough for him. He knew that she deep down loved that she got to help in her own way to protect Starling City.
"Oliver…" she trailed off and looked down again, tears filling her eyes. The crumbled piece of paper was still in her hands. As her fingers clenched around it, it made a sound which caused Oliver's eyes to move to it. He took a step forward and before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, taking her delicate hand in his. She wanted to pull away, but she couldn't. Not now, when she needed to tell him the truth. "I'm sorry," she said again and then proceeded to turn her palm downwards in his hand, giving him the paper in the process before pulling away from his grip.
Not being able to tear her gaze away from him as he opened the letter, she watched as his eyes slid over the words that were written across it. Once, twice, thrice-
"I don't understand," Oliver finally said, after reading the letter a fourth time. There was something different in his voice as he stared at her with wide eyes.
"I think you do understand, Oliver," Felicity mumbled, once again tears forming. "Don't make me say it."
"No," Oliver said sternly, letting go of the piece of paper as if it had burned him. "No, no, no…" He kept shaking his head as he moved toward her. His eyes mirrored her at the moment, shining with tears. "Please tell me it's a joke. Please tell me this is just some sick joke."
She inhaled sharply again, tears spilling over this time as she covered her mouth, trying to calm her own breathing as she watched the real Oliver break through the facade for the first time in a long, long time.. There was desperation in his eyes that she had never seen before.
"Don't say it," he interrupted, turning away from her. "Don't you dare say it Felicity."
Time froze over.
"I'm dying, Oliver."
The next thing she knew strong arms had enveloped her in a hug and she couldn't stand anymore as the sobs rocked her body.
The piece of paper, with Starling General Hospital, written across it, was by their feet as Felicity clutched Oliver's shirt in her hands, burying her head in his chest as he held her tightly.
He didn't speak as she cried, only rubbed comforting circles on her lower back and kissed the top of her head over and over again. Swallowing, he managed to get a hold of himself long enough to get some comforting words out.
"We are going to make it through this," he told her. As the sobs got worse, he held her even tighter against him. "You are going to make it through, and I'll do everything in my power…" The rest of his words faded somewhere in the distance, and in that moment, Felicity knew that she wasn't alone in all of this, after all.
A/N: Thank you for reading! And I apologize for any grammatical mistakes! English is not my first language!